Monday, May 25, 2015

Kids grow up so fast! shortscarystories

Kids grow up so fast. Last year, my son had spilled orange soda on his carpet, and we only found out when it dripped into the guest bathroom. He hadn't wanted to admit it even when the evidence was dripping all over the floor!

The carnal sound of skin hitting skin now resonated through my son's bedroom door. He'd brought his new girlfriend over, and I didn't think much of it. Sure, they were having sex, but they're both of consenting age, and it's not doing me any harm.

The smell of brownies, ready for the two of them, wafted from the kitchen, and my timer dinged to let me know they were done. I heard a few moans and stifled screams of satisfaction as they finished up their lovemaking. After a minute or two had passed, I called up the stairs to let them know brownies were done and dinner would be following.

My son came down with the world's biggest grin, grabbed a few brownies, and jogged back up the stairs to his room.

I thought I'd start on dinner. I took the chicken out of the refrigerator, and reached for my knife block, only to find my meat cleaver missing.

I pulled out another from the drawer next to the sink, but it was a bit dirty. Since I'd already put the chicken in the kitchen sink, and didn't want to spread raw chicken juice all over the nice granite counter tops, the second-rate cleaver would have to take a dip in the bathroom sink. I cleaned the blade of what looked to be some leftover Thai, and noticed what looked like blood dripping down with the water.

Oops.

I looked for a cut on my hands. ... And found none. So where was it coming from?

I glanced up.

From my white popcorn ceiling dripped a red liquid, too thin to be the blood I feared. My son came down and tossed an empty soda can in the garbage - Strawberry.

I decided to take dinner up to the two of them, since they were having so much fun. I grabbed two plates of chicken, corn, and mashed potatoes, plus another plate of brownies, and climbed up the stairs to my son's bedroom. My meat cleaver was sticking out of the side of a strawberry soda can that had been plunged into my son's girlfriend's abdomen.

She was bleeding all over the carpet. My son's new, white, carpet.

What a bitch.



Submitted May 26, 2015 at 08:33AM by Nominalitify http://ift.tt/1FclgVn shortscarystories

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