Using a throwaway account due to shame.
This happened Tuesday and I'm just now able to talk about it. I'm working late all this week to catch up after taking a few days off last week. So I work later then usual and head to the grocery store after work. I had several meals planned out for the rest of the week and planned on a rotisserie chicken and bagged salad for dinner. Easy enough.
I like to get my chicken last so it stays warm longer and I don't have to smell it while I'm shopping. I head back to the deli right before check out and see there is only one fried chicken left and no rotisserie. At this point I'm ready to get out of there so I grab the last chicken and checkout.
I have a rescue dog and two cats. The dog is a little shit but I love him (he's eaten my kindle, iPod classic, several shoes and some souvenirs I brought back from Mexico last month). I gave him his new bone, the cats their treat and put away the perishables. Now, the dog likes the cats but views them as rivals for my love and food scraps.
This is where I think I fucked up. My son grabbed a plate of food and headed to the living room to eat while I just cleared a spot on the table to eat. I got up to get my iPad off the refrigerator and turned around to see the black cat trying to drag my chicken leg off my plate. I started swearing and grabbed him to wrestle the chicken away from him. Into the trash it went (the chicken not the cat) and I got another piece.
The dog is now freaking out and running between my son in the living room and me in the kitchen while alternating laps at break neck speed around the house. The white cat has come out of hiding and is meowing at me and wants chicken. It was utter chaos and anarchy. All this time I'm just trying to eat my chicken so I can finish putting groceries away and relax after a pretty rough day at work. Never at any time did I give food to any of the animals.
This is where it gets weird. The dog skids to a stop in front of me after one of his laps around. He looks at the cat, looks at the chicken, and then looks at me. He lifted his leg towards me and let loose. Yep. All over my leg, shoe and the floor.
I yelled at my son to get his dog and the steam mop. I took a shower and then went to bed. Fuck that day.
TL/DL brought home fried chicken; dog R. Kellied me
Edit: I should add I've brought home several rotisserie chicken and never had this happpen. For some reason the fried chicken brought out the wild in my pets.
Submitted November 19, 2015 at 05:10PM by Chcknlittle http://ift.tt/1OSa3CT tifu
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