God tells Saint Peter," Peter, John's taking a break. I want you to go the Pearly Gates and ask every new incoming soul for their story of their death, you should have the information on their lives and how they were in their files, and follow the guidelines to let the men into heaven."
Peter heads out, and goes to the gates. Three men are already waiting for him, with a small line stacking up behind them.
Peter tells the first of the three men," Tell me how you died, and make it quick. There's a line."
The man begins,"Well, I'd been suspecting that my wife had been cheating on me for the longest time. To check, I got to my apartment early from work that day, and parked the car a few blocks away to not make noise. I took the elevator up to the third floor, where my place was. I ran, slammed open the door into the apartment, and slammed open the bedroom door. Sure enough, my wife was naked on the bed, but the man was nowhere to be seen. I shouted to her,' Where is that bastard! I'll kill him!' So I went out to try to find him. I checked every room, and when I got back to the bedroom, I saw a pair of hands hanging off the balcony. When I got closer, it was a sweaty, naked man who was holding on. With my anger, I kicked his hands off. He, however, landed in some bushes and was fine, so I unplugged the refrigerator, and dropped it on him. But the stress from moving the refrigerator and the whole incident was just too much, and my hypertension made me burst a blood vessel, and I died."
Saint Peter says," Alright, fair enough. Let's hear the next man's story."
The second man says," Well, I live on the fourth floor of the apartment. I'm a nudist, and I was practicing my Tai Chi out on the balcony, when I accidentally slipped off the balcony. I fell one floor, but managed to hang onto the balcony on the third floor. Before I had a chance to even call for help, an angry looking man came out and kicked my hands off! I luckily landed in the bushes, but so did the refrigerator he sent down. Both the refrigerator and I were completely crushed."
Saint Peter tells the second man," Well, that certainly does change things."
Looking at the third man, Saint Peter asks," How did you die?"
The man, seemingly confused, says," I'm not exactly sure what had happened. I was in the refrigerator."
Submitted February 27, 2016 at 03:15AM by RabbitTheGamer http://ift.tt/1TEaOjk Jokes
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