I dreamed about my aunt. I watched her lips form the words “All in good time” over and over again for hours. And that was it. That was the whole of my dream.
In the morning, I swung my legs off the bed and my feet touched snowy white paper. Spread across the floor were thousands of white pages, ripped directly from my aunt's bible. The bible's leather cover is no where to be found, but the box was sitting on the foot of my bed. I thought locking my bedroom door would keep me from trouble, but it's only gotten worse. I suppose all of this is a punishment for trying to stop this, for trying to contain it.
I didn't have time to gather all the pages before I went to class so I walked across that snowy white carpet of paper and every step felt like a betrayal.
In the middle of morning classes I was overwhelmed by a wave of nausea so powerful it was dizzying. I stumbled to the bathroom and retched, then rinsed my mouth out with water. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something red, and looking down I realized a pool of blood was forming between my feet. Lifting my skirt I fount my underwear was soaked through. I pulled them off and threw them in the trash bin. Using paper towels to try to stem whats seemed like hemorrhaging, I was able to make it to my car and drive home. I've never seen this much blood before.
As soon as I got home I was hit with cramps that felt like someone was twisting my guts with a knife. I stayed in all day popping Midol, curled around a heating pad and missed the rest of the day's classes. It hurt so bad that there were moments when I really thought I was going to die, where I almost wanted it.
I fell asleep and when I awoke it was dark. The cramps had lessened and I realized I was hungry. Something smelled amazing, like funnel cakes, the scents of cinnamon and sugar and batter. From the kitchen came the sound of sizzling oil.
Anna and her girlfriend Yuko were cooking something.
When I entered the room Yuko passed me what looked like a crispy fried hand. I must have looked apprehensive because she said, “It's a fried maple leaf.” I didn't even know you could eat maple leaves, but apparently they're a big thing in Osaka, where Yuko's hometown.“You had them in the fridge, and there were just so many, so Anna and I started joking about cooking them, and then I was like, well, why not? I haven't had them in years.”
I really didn't that a fried leaf could be this delicious, but I actually ended up eating almost all of them. The leaves themselves didn't have much of a taste, but whatever it was Yuko dipped them in was positively addicting.
You know, I could have sworn I took those leaves out of the refrigerator.
“Dear Diary, Sam met me in the park, by the lake. Standing in the shadow of the white-painted gazebo, I watched the water play with the moon's reflection. Leaves crunched behind me, and there she was. Sam. My beautiful perfect Sam.
I bombarded her with all the questions I've been saving. Why would she leave me? Why would she betray me? Why wouldn’t she love me like I loved her?
“Please believe me,” she said. “I wouldn't do anything to hurt you like that. You're my best friend.”
“Sweet Sam,” I said, as I reached to cup her face with the pendant in my hand. I drew its jagged edge along her cheek and watched the blood running down her face and onto my hand, then lifted my fingers to my mouth and tasted the sweet tang.
She stared, unable to move for a moment, then ran. I chased her.
What she didn't understand was even if she hadn't betrayed me now, one day, inevitably she would, and I couldn't allow that.
Dodging through trees, my heart pounding from love and exertion. She was fast, but I was faster. I leapt and tackled her around the waist and we fell to earth together, wrestling and scrabbling. She picked up a rock in her gloved fist and slammed it against my head.
It stunned me and she tried to scurry away but I grabbed her ankle and she fell hard, twisting her leg. I pulled from my coat the knife I had brought, just in case. I hadn't wanted to use it, but I was willing. I plunged the blade into her again and again until she stopped moving. Her blood glistened on the leaves. I opened her ribs and put my half of the heart pendant in her heart. It was easy, the charm was so much sharper than I knew, and slid right into that red organ. I covered her in leaves. I'll come back to bury her later.
As I walked home, the moon was smiling down at me. I know I've done the right thing. I'm looking down at her part of the pendant in my palm. Best friends for ever and ever and ever.
Dear Diary,
oh my god sam what have I done she's dead I killed her my best friend sam please forgive me
Later: There was a knock at my window as I wrote that last entry. It was Alan.. He said would help me. He said he could make things right again. All we had to do was make a trade. I'll trade anything. I'll do anything to make things right.
Dear Diary,
Sam's fine. I'm fine. Everything is perfect.”
Oh god. I just pried the pendant from the page. I had to know. It came away easily. After I washed away the dried blood, for I now know that's what it has to be, I saw what it said. “Best.” It's Sam's half of the pendant, covered in her blood. I feel like I'm going to be sick.
The box is shaking. I'm shaking too. Fuck it, I'm going to see what's inside.
In the box I found the collages from two nights ago. They're horrifying. People in fiery pits with red leaves raining down on them and turning to flames and blood pouring out of their eyes. Saints stabbing each other and centipedes crawling out of the wounds. Imagery from the holocaust, from the Book of Revelation, from horrible wars and natural disasters. Why would I make these? This shit is NOTHING like my usual work. Looking at it makes me nauseated. It's evil. It's cursed. And I made it.
My eyes are stinging with tears. I'm so afraid I think I might cry. I thought there were only empty shells in the box, but I found one single pistachio still in the shell. It's in my palm right now.
I wonder what will happen if I eat it?
Submitted October 30, 2014 at 08:49AM by laloisel http://ift.tt/1q15C84 nosleep
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