My house smells like rotten death breakingmom

Our house has a big apartment over our garage. Think of it as a finished bonus room with a full kitchen. The fridge basically stays empty but we do keep 2-3 “emergency briskets” in the freezer. (I’m Jewish AND live in a city that’s famous for BBQ, so brisket emergencies are very real.)

Anyway some point around thanksgiving the refrigerator died and because we’ve been busy getting through the holidays we haven’t spent any time up there. It wasn’t until yesterday that I walked passed the stairs and smell roadkill knocked me on my fucking ass that I investigated.

It was like a horror movie. With every step the smell intensified and I almost shouted “Hello” before opening the door because I was sure there was going to be some fucking dead people on meat hooks when I opened the door.

Thankfully no dead people but when I opened the freezer door I almost died. The poor briskets has partially liquified and holy fucking shit nothing in the world has ever or will ever smell as bad as what’s happened in there. I can’t even describe it but I think you can pretty much imagine. The smell actually hurt my eyes.

The following two hours were basically my husband treating the freezer like a bio hazard and cleaning. Oh and to add a cherry on top of the story the refrigerator isn’t actually broken. SOMEONE OVER THE HOLIDAYS UNPLUGGED MY GODDAMN FRIDGE no telling who, we hosted a Friendsgiving party with 50 adults and 20 children a few weeks ago so my money is on some kid.

Unfortunately, I don’t think the freezer is salvageable. The smell has permeated the plastic so I’ve called our county help center to pick it up, maybe someone can use it in their garage or something. I don’t know my husband bleached the ever loving shit out of it so I don’t think it’s a biohazard but I’ve told them the whole story. I’ve ordered a replacement (Yay spending over a grand right before the December holidays.)

The smell is still lingering. I have every window open. A fan going, and a crockpot full of essential oils and baking soda on. Can anyone think of anything else I can do? This is all some grade A bullshit. Fuck everything.

Submitted November 30, 2017 at 09:52PM by Throwmeawayrose http://ift.tt/2i3HF4t breakingmom

Update to Finally getting my daughter help breakingmom

I posted a couple of months ago about finally getting my daughter into therapy. We had to change insurances because our old one was just shitty when it came to mental health.

Shes been to see a couple of different therapist so far. We were trying to find the one who was the best fit for her.

The first guy she saw was very good. He made her feel comfortable enough to talk to him and ever since she has been full steam ahead about the entire thing. Because my kiddo is pan sexual (she described it as not caring about gender, just who the person is) the therapist asked if she'd like to talk to someone who specialises in lgbq+ stuff.

That appointment was a trip, in a good way. The lady talked to both of us and was just wonderful. Turns out I'm doing everything right in this area supporting and accepting my kiddo. Usually this therapist helps getting parents to understand and accept who their kid is. When my daughter related what her dad said when she came out to him "I wouldn't care if you loved a refrigerator" she really laughed. So in this area kiddo is well adjusted and supported and therapist said she didn't need to see kiddo again. She did recommend a lady who she thought would be the right fit.

So I took kiddo to see the new therapist a few days ago and daughter lover her. She was patient and funny and just what my she needed. They talked a little about coping tools and what daughter can do and how I can help. They talk more about that next session.

Overall, my daughter has improved drastically already. She started taking a low dose of antidepressant to work concurrently with therapy. Since this all started she hasn't had anymore angry outbursts caused by being so overwhelmed. Her and her dad just talked for like 2 hours the other night. He said that hasn't happened pretty much ever. Before she would just tell him to go away and leave her alone. She's always mad at him because of his work schedule it feels like he abandoned her.

Husband has been making a huge effort to spend more time with both kids and now that the family doesn't feel like we need to walk on eggshells to keep from setting daughter off things are just good. The whole house is just so much more relaxed and pleasant.

There have been so many times in the past couple weeks where daughter has reacted to something in such a calm way were before she would have started screaming. My husband just silently looks at me and gives me this WTF just happened looked and smiles.

We still have a long road ahead and a lot of work but we're all so hopeful and inspired especially kiddo. She is really loving that she feels so much more in control of her emotions now. She said she thinks she'll even want to do some appointments without me in there with her. I want her to do this so she doesn't need to worry about saying something to hurt my feelings. She's also going to start going to a weekly girls group. I'm making sure not to push her. Everything is her choice, including the meds.

Daughter even told me that I should start my own therapy. Maybe I will do that.

Submitted November 12, 2017 at 10:28PM by fuckthisiwantwhiskey http://ift.tt/2AEgPIs breakingmom

Winter just gave us the middle finger. breakingmom

I know it's not technically winter but the icicles forming on my vagina say otherwise.

I got out the kids winter stuff last week since I knew it couldn't be more than a month, tops, before this kind of weather settled in. Well, we went from mid 50s to low 20s in the course of a week. And big surprise: the 4 year old's boots are too small. The 6 year old's coat and boots are too small, and can't even be handed down to the 4 year old because they're so worn out. This is extremely nerve-wracking because that's kind of a lot of money for us to drop at once right now but obviously it needs to happen. So, I ran it by husband and he blew me off. "We don't need to worry about that yet, they have time!"

WROOONG. Literally a week to the day, I got up yesterday morning and it was 17 fucking degrees. I had to send my daughter to school in her sneakers and two hoodies. It's the best I could do. Her coat is so small at this point that the sleeves are halfway up her forearms and there's a huge tear in the side, which I have no recollection of. I already felt like the worst mother to ever live, and then guess what she comes home with? A fucking flyer from her teacher with a 'friendly reminder' that students need to be dressed appropriately for winter weather. I went in the bathroom and cried. I'm now that mom, the one who needs to be told to dress her kid warmly. Only I don't, I don't have a choice because we're fucking shitty parents. After that, I loaded the kids into the car and we went and got new coats and boots and gloves too because they'll need those soon enough. Ended up spending $180 at Walmart for this. And I'm sure you guys will get it, I'm not complaining because I had to spend money on my kids. It's just...goddammit. Between this, loaning my sister $350, and the refrigerator randomly croaking a few weeks ago, we're this close to dipping into our anniversary trip savings fund. Which isn't really the point, it's just depressing and I'm tired of just trying to make ends meet.

My husband came home this morning and I filled him in. I talked to him some on the phone yesterday but I didn't want to unload the whole story on him while he was at work. So this morning I tell him what happened. He leaves for work before our daughter leaves for school and he said he thought about how cold it was the whole day. I can tell he feels as shitty as I do and he apologized for blowing me off in the first place. Our "trip fund" is $300. That's taken us since February to save. We've got enough to buy groceries before using that and honestly I can live with it but I doubt that's gonna cover everything. He's gonna see if he can pick up any construction gigs but with the weather the way it is there's no guarantee. So right now, we're back to picking and choosing which bills to pay.

I'm just so disappointed and overwhelmed and feel like worst mother and wife ever. It's not really my husband's fault but I'm just annoyed with him even though he apologized.

Submitted November 10, 2017 at 10:40PM by mommafromthemidwest http://ift.tt/2hpKnol breakingmom

Brain dump of my stupid bullshit life breakingmom

First, the 3-year-old is able to operate all the child safety gates we have as well as deadbolt locks and can now exit the house at will.

And all of this stupid stuff... I'm feeling ridiculously overwhelmed with everything on my mind right now and I don't have anyone in my life who understands.

• I have to plan a birthday party, including all the details about where, when, how/who to invite, decorations, food, snacks(?). I'm also organizing all birthday gifts for the child, which we're planning to present on his actual birthday. I'm also planning a family vacation in the Spring, with absolutely 0 help or input from my husband including travel agent, hotel, plane tickets, attraction tickets, dinner reservations, daily agendas, packing lists and budgeting.

• I have to remember to get my kid a flu shot. Oh, and remember to fill out the developmental questionnaire for his 3 year check up. Oh, and remember to ask about the weird thing I saw him doing that I'm worried might be a new skeletal issue. Oh, and remember to ask about the weird thing I saw him doing that might be related to OCD. Oh, and I had to navigate ending our early intervention (aged out at 3) and finding a new physical therapist and dealing with insurance and intake and scheduling for that.

• The child has outgrown all of the clearance shoes I bought for him this summer, so he has no winter shoes. I need to find some that will fit his orthotics, some that he can wear in slush/snow/wet, a spare pair for when he plays in mud puddles at school and I have to wash the first pair.

• He just transitioned to a new classroom, so I'm dealing with making sure he understands what's going on and meshes well with his teachers. And teaching them all about how to deal with his PT issues and how to deal with all his shoes.

• Holidays are coming up, and I'm in charge of deciding on and sewing a Halloween costume. I'm in charge of figuring out where to go for Thanksgiving (likely my husband's family, but even then, I have to nag him and nag him to get a date/time/place/potluck item). I'm in charge of figuring out how to split up gift giving for kid's birthday versus Christmas, and in charge of purchasing and wrapping all gifts and doing all the decorating.

• We have so many house repair issues that I'm losing my mind over and worrying how we'll pay for all of it, or maybe just find a new house? Except that...

• I found out four weeks ago that I was losing my job. Then I had an interview, and another, and another. Good news, right? Except that two of the places are stringing me along, no firm offers but a lot of "Oh, I'm sure you are going to be getting an offer any day now" for the past two weeks. And they're wildly different and have wildly different pros and cons and I have no idea how to choose if I'm offered both. Maybe neither and we'll end up living in a refrigerator box in an underpass.

Plus the two certification tests I'm studying for, my actual work, my psychiatrist appointments because I have recently diagnosed OCD, my loveless marriage, my filthy house, my combative martyr of a Just No mother, and the recent realization that my son is just not important enough to my family for them to actually spend time with.

This was so long. And it's not even everything that I have to take care of, like, today or this week or this month or this year or this lifetime. I'm just so fucking exhausted and broken.

Submitted October 13, 2017 at 09:27PM by brmochkn http://ift.tt/2kMb8nN breakingmom

My Neighborhood Kicks Ass breakingmom

If you're not up to speed, we're Harvey evacuees. Our house took roughly four feet of water and everything on our bottom story is a loss. We are safe, our animals are safe, we are in a hotel about 15min from our house, despite me having to stare down the desk guy at the LaQuinta to make him allow 4 dogs. Also, there WERE looters in our house, but apparently they ran before they took anything. My owl collection is safe!

Now for the good stuff. My husband is a disabled veteran and walks with a cane. I have fibro and some other chronic stuff that makes lifting a no-go. When we saw the extent of damage in our home, I knew there was no fucking way we could get shit out on our own. Our neighborhood has a Facebook group where people were encouraged to post their needs. I hate hate hate asking for help. I am a giver and a helper and I've rarely ever had to be a receiver and it's extremely uncomfortable for me. So all that to let you know it was hard to compose the post, but with no family in the area and all our friends trapped in their own personal Harvey hells, I put out the call.

You guys, at LEAST ten people showed up and others offered. They brought trash bags and gloves and a wheelbarrow and the next thing you know, there were strangers elbow-deep in my refrigerator(which was laying flat on its back when we came in), men cutting away my drywall(we checked with insurance first, don't worry), ladies delicately wrapping my salvaged antique china (was above water line) in my bed sheets from upstairs, and entertaining my daughter. They used push brooms to push the ankle-deep water out of my house and ordered me pizza for dinner. We found a fish in my laundry room. Life is so surreal right now. But we made it through a shit day and now we can get up and do it all over again. The main helper-lady(the one who put herself in charge because I suck at executive functioning) said she knows someone who wants to give us a dryer, and someone else from her church wants to cook for us tomorrow night. I'm a little nervous about people feeding us because autistic kid can equal insensitive comments/weird food issues, but everyone keeps drilling it in my head that I should take any help that is offered, so I'm trying. My daughter, within potential earshot of a pastor, said, "This fucking sucks. All our shit is gone." Amen, Kiddo, but watch your goddamn language. No idea where she got that.

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 10:08AM by classypancake http://ift.tt/2wKKkJy breakingmom

Some might say it's mean to eat icecream in front of your kid breakingmom

But they didn't just have to clean up dish soap and popsicle wrappers off my floor. That fucker ate every single popsicle in my freezer, so he got to watch his little brother and me eat chocolate icecream.

Also, side by side refrigerators suck because my kids are constantly foraging and I just forgot to put a baby lock on it before nap....

Submitted August 15, 2017 at 01:20AM by XBlueYoshiX http://ift.tt/2vUZTxW breakingmom

The Weird Smells Part of Mom Life... breakingmom

Little kin and I weren't home last night, so I walked into our home with a new nose. And that first whiff of home smelled like something had died. Cut to several hours of me trying to clean anything and everything that could be stinking up the house while little kin took the best nap of my life.

I ultimately ended up finding a dead mouse in a trap behind the refrigerator because EWWW so much EWWW. But you know, this didn't happen until after I'd scrubbed the other 85% of the kitchen, cleaned the bathroom, and washed like 8 loads of laundry.

In the midst of this, little kin walks up to me with a shitty diaper and tries to pretend that he didn't poop his pants. Come on! I'm walking around sniffing the house--like I wouldn't smell you being shitty!

Submitted July 23, 2017 at 04:28AM by dscokink8 http://ift.tt/2tAsvfv breakingmom

If there's anything I have learned about life breakingmom

is that it goes on.

It's been almost a month now since my Ex and I split up. It went from being horrible to amicable to back to horrible.

The last few days I have spent trying to finish homework (papers, ugh), search for jobs, interview at various places, and dealt with finals.

I am at the end of my rope. I finally cracked and told my school social worker I couldn't do it. My bank account had reached zero dollars, there was nothing in my refrigerator, and my car was running on fumes.

Luckily, she reached out to my professor and got me an extension for my outstanding school work. Bless her heart. Another social worker finally expedited my food stamps, and cash aid so I finally have something to feed the kids with.

And today, I finally found a JOB!!! I got offered a full time position as a receptionist nearby. So close, I can walk there and back in about 30 minutes. I will be starting at the beginning of July.

I got new medication for treating my lack of sleep. She also assigned me some Ativan to deal when I am having extreme amounts of anxiety. My mom has been helping me, but she isn't the best person to have around. We often get into arguments because she doesn't believe in Psych medication.

As for the taking risks stuff, I'm done with that. I still have some leftover edibles but I will be giving them to my older brother later today. Funny enough, I met someone from tinder that I forged a good friendship with, and who has a little boy my son's age. We met up for breakfast last week after an interview, and really hit it off. We're planning a play date soon.

My ex is still a prick and takes every opportunity he has to make me feel bad about myself, but whatever. I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Submitted June 14, 2017 at 03:48AM by ppdmomma http://ift.tt/2tjei1J breakingmom

Motherhood is ... breakingmom

We are everywhere.

We can be found at school functions, in grocery stores and churches. We are at swimming pools, the beach and ball parks during the summer.

No place is safe. No one is safe.

Moms are starting to lose it, and other moms are starting to take notice.

A crying 9-year-old here; a smart-mouth teen there.

A 2-year-old throwing a temper tantrum on the floor while hurling a sippy cup 15-feet across the room. A pre-school-aged child lagging behind you at Wal-Mart, waiting to see how long it takes you to turn around, demanding their presence at your side.

At the heart of every chaotic scene is a mom who wants nothing more than to crumble at her feet and assume the fetal position. But she can’t. She has to take control of every situation and try to either improve it or end the behavior that started it in the first place.

Nearly every day, I feel like I am walking around my house with a large, “WARNING: CRAZED MOTHER” sign dangling around my neck.

All I am asking of my 14-year-old and 8-year-old twins is to make their beds, clean up their rooms, get dressed and brush their teeth. There may be an occasional “empty the dishwasher” or “feed the cat” notice. I am not asking them to move a mountain. But they certainly act like I am. So, when they fail to “do their summer chores” and I start screaming through the house, they act like they either A. don’t hear me or B. can’t see me.

The slogan in BFE this summer is “There is no summer fun until the chores are done.”

Right now, my daughter is sprawled out on the floor, begging me to open the pool. I still have two baskets of laundry to fold and put away. I asked her earlier, when she declared for the 100th time today that she was bored, if she wanted to fold the clothes on my bed. She turned and went back to her room to craft accessories for her non-American Girl Doll.

“I’m still bored!” I heard her yell through the door.

Meanwhile, my 14-year-old who missed lunch two hours ago is telling me there is nothing to eat in a house with a stocked pantry and refrigerator.

“Mom, we don’t have anything. I want like buttermilk pancakes, um, or pizza rolls, a burger, that’s it, oh stuffed French Toast too,” he is telling me wearing only a pair of summer shorts because getting dressed isn’t on his “to-do” list until apparently this evening.

So, in a nutshell, my kids are bored and starving – and we’ve only been on summer break less than three weeks.

Introducing 2016 Ohio SPJ award-winning blogger Melissa Linebrink. Melissa is a creative, witty blogger who doesn’t sugarcoat the hardships of everyday parenting. Follow her on Facebook: http://ift.tt/2sVtaEm

Submitted June 13, 2017 at 01:05AM by momof3inbfe http://ift.tt/2slsn2u breakingmom

Thanks Universe..I love it when you shit all over me breakingmom

Dear Universe,

As if it weren't enough for me to suddenly have Restless Leg Syndrome in my arms and for me to be so achy and sore I couldn't do shit yesterday after work like I planned so I wouldn't have to do anything today except fold laundry, now the refrigerator sounds like it's going out and of course Husbeast is going to want to replace it instead of getting it fixed because that's just how he rolls. AND we still have to do the grocery shopping at some point because we're out of everything but milk, half a loaf of bread and some hamburger meat.

You suck, Universe. Right now you suck big fat donkey balls.

And not the good kind either.

No love.

In fact, I would dearly love to shove a flaming pineapple followed by an angry porcupine up your cosmic butt.

G

Submitted March 25, 2017 at 07:27PM by LadyGrizabella http://ift.tt/2nndQzi breakingmom

I'm trying not to break down in front of my kid, but I just found out my dad has a brain tumor. He's not even completely healed from the double bypass surgery he had in January. We don't know much yet, but my family is understandably worried. breakingmom

My son is two, and he attends daycare while I work full-time. His dad lives three hours away in the next state, so when the daycare called to say that he was running a fever, I called my parents' house to see if they could help. My 18-year-old sister lives at home, and she volunteered to get Little Man because "something's up with Dad... He's sitting in his car in the driveway and he looks like he's crying."

My dad isn't a crier. Like, he got misty on my wedding day, the day my son was born, and he barely cried at his best friend's funeral. In a family of mostly women, he's a rarity because we're all easy criers.

I thought it sounded weird, but work was insane today with me trying to play catch-up after being out of work yesterday with the worst migraine. In the middle of the afternoon, my dad called me at work to ask if I wanted to stay for dinner. I said that sounded okay.

It was a little weird, I didn't think too much about it until I got out of work and went to my parents' house to pick up my son. My son was happy to see me, but the mood was really somber. Then my dad pulled me aside and said that he needed to talk to me. He went on to explain that he has a brain tumor and has been having numbness and weakness on the left side of his body for a few weeks.

He has to get some more tests and talk to a couple of specialists before we really know what's going on. I immediately start thinking the worst. I'm trying to hold my shit together, but all I really want to do is eat kettlecorn, drink the whole bottle of moscato in the back of my refrigerator, and ugly cry for a few hours.

Any good vibes, advice, or simple sentiments of fuck brain tumors would be appreciated.

Submitted March 17, 2017 at 05:24AM by dscokink8 http://ift.tt/2mVeVOL breakingmom

My Smoothie Obsession Scar(r)ed My Husband breakingmom

I just got started on yet another round of giggles over this morning's confusion when I went into the refrigerator to get my lunch (which was - you guessed it - a smoothie), so I thought this may be worthy of sharing with you ladies.

Some backstory: in my house it is no secret that I am the hardcore one. I get a goal and go after it singlemindedly, sometimes past the point of reason. My husband can be a bit airheaded (most famous incident - asking me if I had made homemade pizza or bought frozen while he was eating said pizza out of a Domino's box). In November I had a colon cancer scare, which did not end up being cancer but did lead to a couple of surgeries and a radical change in my diet to heal my gut after these procedures. Tdlr of that is now I am eating fruit & veggie smoothies 1-3 times a day - most of which look weird or gross because of their composition. So right now my singlemindedness is occupied with nutrient dense smoothies, getting healthy and feeling well for the first time in almost a decade.

Okay so - my husband has this fun routine wherein he disappears into the bathroom for at least an hour each morning to "get ready". During this time I'm usually toddler-wrangling and making my smoothies for the day - so I'm not having to prepare them during the all important quiet hour that is naptime. My husband texts me this morning to find out what flavor I'm making (because sometimes he'll drink it too) - to which I quip back "oxblood". He replies "lol pass"

Fast forward to nearly an hour later - I'm in the middle of wrangling toddler in to pants - which he is trying to insist belong on his arms - when I hear my husband scream from the kitchen "OH MY GOD". Thinking our cat has brought some poor half dead animal into our house that I'm going to have to dispose of again (hardcore one, remember?) I round the corner to see my husband looking quite pale and trying to compose himself...and holding my smoothie. The conversation that followed:

"Now look, truth_hungry," he starts "I supported you when you started this - you've felt better and lost weight. But what are you thinking? What if [toddler] drank this?"

"What are you talking about? He drinks that all the time! It's good for us!"

He gets visibly shaken

"When. were you going to tell me. that you have our toddler. drinking blood? I thought you were joking!"

I was speechless for about 5 seconds while I processed what he said. Then I was no good. I had to sit on the kitchen floor I was laughing at him so hard. There were a lot of "stop laughing! This isn't funny! Have you lost its?" From his before I finally gasped out

"Blueberries....hahahahahaha...kale...hahaha...carrots and celery....hahahahahahahahahahaha....orange juice. No blood. Why would I use blood? Hahaha...would taste...awful....Hahahahahahahahahahahaa."

Ladies I laughed him out of the room. Then when it was time for him to go to work I couldn't compose myself to kiss him goodbye. I'm still laughing at him. To be fair the smoothie was an unholy dark crimson and had browned a little before he saw it so definitely I can see between my joke and how it looked how he thought I might have been serious. Guess I need to bottle up some red wine and serve it to him in a IV bag tonight. OMG. Sometimes married life is beyond comedic.

Submitted March 04, 2017 at 11:49PM by Truth_hungry http://ift.tt/2mE2CHG breakingmom

Cake obsession breakingmom

My toddler is obsessed with cake and I'm tired of it. Normally I'd think whatever stop making cake. But he has allergies, and his allergist wants him to eat milk in baked things several times a week, since he tolerates it it can help him grow out of his allergy. Really only cake, bread, and muffins will work because things like cookies or pancakes aren't cooked enough.

I'm so tired of hearing bitching about cake. My husband got those refrigerator tube cinnamon rolls and told the kid they're spiral cakes. So another kind of cake to melt down over. Sobbing "A whole (s)pi(ral) cake please!" Dude we don't have them even if I would give you one!

I'm going to have to switch to bread. I made mini cupcakes today because regular size is a lot for a toddler to eat regularly. When these are out it's going to be bread. I've frozen a month or 2 worth. He can have toast or something.

Submitted February 27, 2017 at 01:20AM by cloudsnapper http://ift.tt/2lKbBnx breakingmom

Fuck me..what now? breakingmom

Dear fridge,

Please don't be fucked. We can't afford to fix you right now.

Love,

The one who stores the shit she wants to eat inside of you

It's making a weird thrummy noise (like a baseball card in the spoke of a bike..did anybody else but me do that to make weird thrummy noises?) that stops every time I open the refrigerator door.

::edited to add::

Giftless birthday parties for kids are now a THING? How sad. D:

Also..the fridge stopped making the noise. Probably just to spite me.

Submitted February 06, 2017 at 06:08PM by LadyGrizabella http://ift.tt/2kdgcwD breakingmom

My husband said... breakingmom

Get a job.

While I commented on the refrigerator acting up, I said, well maybe we could get a new fridge! And he says and maybe you could get a job.

Oh I am sorry, we have three kids and two of them aren't in school yet. Plus I do clean houses on the side already, it's only one house a week but it is $100 bucks!!

I really hate when he says this.

Submitted February 06, 2017 at 05:48AM by tabatha_hazel http://ift.tt/2kwC4nM breakingmom

I look forward to... breakingmom

the day when my daughter has weaned off breastmilk and my husband says, "I think she wants some milk." and I can direct him to the refrigerator. I'm SO tired of hearing this and being pulled away from whatever I'm doing on the weekend! Usually she isn't even hungry.

Submitted January 28, 2017 at 07:42AM by ScienceVixen http://ift.tt/2kvNSq5 breakingmom

Advice needed - domestic violence breakingmom

(I posted about this on my regular account to raised by narcissists but I guess it was the wrong time of day to post because I didn't really get a lot of activity.)

Hey ladies, I'm going through a really tough situation right now. I'm 27 years old and single mom with a 5 year old. My father is my boss, he controls my income. He is my landlord, he controls my house to an extent and he is my neighbor so he's always watching. He pays for my cell phone which isn't that big of a deal and he sometimes helps me with my car insurance because I can't afford it. My most recent pay check was $196. He doesn't allow me to work more than 30 hours because according to him I don't deserve to work more than that and he doesn't want to pay me. When I am at work with him he will tell me how useless I am, how much of an idiot I am and he's all around emotionally abusive.

I just finished getting my associate's degree and I got accepted into a major University. Which is a pretty big accomplishment for me because my kid's father and I were together for 3 years and he was sexually abusive, physically abusive and emotionally abusive. I'm still dealing with PTSD, anxiety and depression from that situation.

My dad has paid for my tuition for my associates degree, he promised to continue to pay my tuition so that I can receive my bachelor's degree. But so far I paid for my first semester with a Pell Grant and the rest out-of-pocket with no help from him.

My brother also works for him and my dad also paid for my brother's tuition. My brother lives in another house my dad owns does not pay rent, does not property tax, does not give my dad a dime of money because that's how they worked it out. I, on the other hand, have to pay the mortgage on the home that I live in, the property tax and everything else my dad says I have to pay. Meanwhile, the roof on my home is cracked and leaks whenever it rains. There is mold and rot in the ceiling and my dad refuses to fix it because he says, "I let you live in that house when I could have somebody else living there and get twice as much money for rent. Your rent is so cheap you should just fix it yourself. I don't have to fix it because you're my daughter."

In addition to the crack that's leaking there's another crack in a different spot of the house, the oven is old needs to be replaced, the refrigerator is old and needs to be replaced also. I haven't been able to tell him any of these things because when I initially told him about the part of the roof that's leaking he told me that if I brought it up to him again he would evict me.

I have seen a therapist, but I stopped because I don't make enough money to pay for the appointments. She told me that my dad is the textbook definition of a narcissist and it's a domestic violence situation because he has so much control over my finances.

I need to find another job, but if I do that he will raise my rent and if I move out of the house he owns he will most likely fire me in retaliation. I can't speak to him about the way I feel or his behavior because he will gaslight me and make me feel guilty about the way I feel.

TLDR/My dilemma is this: stay with my dad and work for him but continue to be abused so that I can have school paid for OR find a job that pays better and get student loans that will leave me in a lot of debt that all have to pay off for the rest of my life.

I don't know what to do.

Submitted January 26, 2017 at 11:23PM by heyhaythrowaw4y http://ift.tt/2jBF4Og breakingmom

Away on business breakingmom

I had to go out of town for business. I'm in a room with a king size bed, sofa, large TV, microwave, refrigerator, and room service. I just had a profoundly overpriced glass of wine and Turkey Ruben. I have a king size bed all to myself.

All I can do is lay here and think about how much I miss my man and my kiddo.

Cheers anyway sister BroMoms!!!!

Submitted December 14, 2016 at 06:24AM by ECU_BSN http://ift.tt/2hsUh3K breakingmom

A letter to my family breakingmom

Dear Monkey Brained Psychos Who Live In My House:

For your future personal reference (and safety), please be certain to remember the following (and do not ever, ever, ever forget it or my my brain will explode, and then you will have to do everything yourself which you fucking well know you do not want to do):

YOU WILL NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LEAVE OPEN CONTAINERS OF ANY KIND OF BEVERAGE OR LIQUID OR OPEN UNCONTAINED LEFTOVERS OF ANY KIND IN THE GODDAMNED REFRIGERATOR.

EVER.

I do not care if it is the tastiest, most wonderful whatever of what, YOU WILL NOT DO IT.

Examples include but are not even remotely limited to:

Open cans of soda; cups of chocolate milk (with or without the spoon it was stirred with); half-drunk hot chocolate; take-out cup of cardboard and watered down ice-cube sports drink; half-finished sugar-flavored sno-drink; adult beverage with alcohol and no cap; half-cup of unfinished applesauce; no lid for the container so you put the tofu in it and filled it with water anyway; melted ice cream; bowls of loose candy bits; broken, half-eaten toaster pastries; partially gnawed fruit; individual yogurt containers with silverware; the milk and bowl from your morning cereal because you want to drink it later.

FURTHERMORE, in the event that your tiny monkey brain has been momentarily clouded by the deliciousness of delightful delectability, or completely lost in the lackadaisical land of laziness, I DO NOT CARE. I WILL NOT HEAR IT. YOU WILL FACE PUNISHMENT.

Said punishment will be:

• You will go downstairs and get the big cooler and bring it up to the bathroom and scrub it out until I, the Mom, am satisfied it is clean.

• You will go next door to the convenience store and purchase with your own money several bags of ice, which you will then carry home by yourself.

• You will place the cooler in the kitchen, and the ice in the cooler.

• You will remove from the refrigerator every single everything and place it in the cooler in such a way that all things will remain cold and nothing will get ruined.

• You will remove, without breaking, all shelves and drawers from the refrigerator and place them in the bathtub. You will not break them.

• You will bleach spray the daylights out of the contents of the bathtub. Don't worry, just do all of it.

• You will then take the bucket and fill it with very hot water and place this with a heavy duty scrubby sponge by the refrigerator.

• You will bleach spray the entire interior of the refrigerator. Don't bother gagging at the collected forest of crap in the bottom. I didn't get to.

• Get two rolls of paper towels and a garbage bag ready.

• Squeeze hot water over solidified mass of goop all over refrigerator interior. Wait.

• Go re-spray contents of bathtub to make sure no spot has been missed.

• Commence scrubbing of bathtub objects. Rinse and repeat as necessary. Not sure if it's clean? DON'T WORRY, MOM WILL TELL YOU.

• Return to refrigerator. Use paper towels to sop up excess liquid from bottom of refrigerator. Goop no longer feels like hard candy. Scrub all upper areas with scrubby sponge and hot water. Work from the top down. Not sure if it's clean enough? Ask mom. Sure it's clean? Ask mom.

• Add more bleach and hot water to sticky pile of goop at bottom of refrigerator. At least it's no longer hard candy! No, you may not use a scraper.

• Paper towels - hot water/bleach - wait, scrub - repeat.

• The refrigerator is clean when the bottom is as white as the top.

• Reassemble all parts in the correct manner.

• Replace all contents.

FAILURE TO FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS TO THE VERY LETTER WILL RESULT IN YOUR HAVING TO REPEAT THEM ALL AGAIN FROM THE VERY BEGINNING, IMMEDIATELY. I DON'T CARE HOW GROSS AND DISGUSTING YOU THINK IT IS. I DON'T CARE HOW HARD YOU THINK IT IS TO DO. I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT HOW SORRY YOU ARE. JUST DO IT.

Because if I ever have to do it again, I am going to drag the refrigerator out to the curb and leave it there and let you figure the rest out yourselves. I PAID FOR IT, I CAN DO THAT.

The Mom Has Spoken And You Will Obey.

Submitted December 07, 2016 at 11:33PM by BumblingHypotenuse http://ift.tt/2h3zZ0G breakingmom

I yelled today. breakingmom

I yelled at my 15-month-old.

I mentioned before, she's been sick for three weeks now and still going strong. She sleeps in bed with me so my energy level is below zero at this point. My back is killing me and I'm just stressed as hell.

She is. so. emotional today. Won't let her play in the refrigerator? Scream-cry! Won't let her play in the garbage? Scream-cry! Time to brush your teeth? Scream-cry!

She hates getting her diaper changed. She always has. But usually she's easy to calm down long enough to get the job done. She's had a bit of a diaper rash since she's been sick, so she's especially sensitive. She wouldn't let me do it. She was screaming and crying and thrashing and flailing. Kid. There is poop on your butt. This is only going to get worse if I leave this here. So, I changed her while she screamed at me.

Only, after, nothing would calm her down. She just kept screaming. She would pause momentarily, act interested in something, but then start screaming again when I brought her to it/gave it to her.

So, I yelled. Just one word, but real big, and real angry. "ENOUGH."

I put her baby gate up and walked away to collect myself. I was back in her bedroom holding her two minutes later and she calmed down pretty quick.

But I still feel terrible. It's not the first time, but it's only been maybe four times since she was a baby. I yell, just once, and I walk away for a minute before coming back to her. She gets so upset when I walk away. I feel so terrible. But I know I would lose it if I didn't.

I just really hate yelling. I only have two mom friends and one of them told me she never lost her cool with her kids until she had a toddler and a baby at the same time, and even then it was only once.

Am I a bad mom if I yell once in a great while?

I feel like a bad mom. Three weeks of sick baby. Hardly playing outside, watching too much stupid TV, not getting the sleep she needs and now I yelled at her.

She's sleeping cozy and snuggling my boob at the moment. I hope she gets a nice long nap.

But I'm mad at myself.

Submitted October 14, 2016 at 11:49PM by mama_jackalope http://ift.tt/2dhvCfg breakingmom