My mom is has rage issues and causes a lot of stress on my family. What should we do? relationship_advice

My mom yells at someone in the family at least every 10 minutes. I'm not kidding. And it's really stressful to everyone because she doesn't care if it's night time and we're trying to sleep, or even in public when we have a reputation to maintain. We'll ask if what she's yelling about is really worth raising her voice for, or try to get her to calm down, but nothing works. She just blames us for making her mad, or say something like, "how can i not yell?! when you're wrong, you deserve to get yelled at!" She calls us names a lot- she 'll go off about how stupid I am (for something that has nothing to do with my intelligence) or just be mean like saying my pants make my legs look short (needless to say, she did not raise me as a confident girl).

There was even a time when my mom was nagging my younger brother's school a lot because he was struggling in class, and she was complaining about his grades or something, I don't even know. And the teachers and counselors must have gotten a sense about the way she was talking to them, and how that must translate into my brother's home life. So my brother was pulled into the school counselor's office, and the counselor said he was so stressed and that started crying and used a whole box of tissues. And my mom came to confide in me about that and started complaining like, "how could she say that to me? she's making it my fault? they don't teach him properly!"

There are so many examples I could get into, but I think you guys get the idea. Just now, she was yelling about how dumb I was because I messed up the breakfast I made for everyone (um, I was the first one up and was nice enough to do that??) and how I "slammed" my mug into the water dispenser in the refrigerator, therefore not taking care of her house and her things. It seems like such trivial things, but with the amount of times my family gets yelled at by her, even these little scoldings really make my heart rate go up and I feel really stressed out. Like I don't want to live here anymore, and I'm sure no one else in my family does either. But I don't like being on bad terms with family because at least I have a family, and it's kind of a turn off to hate one's own mom. But she's just so toxic to me, and I don't know what to do. How can I cope with this?

Submitted August 06, 2017 at 08:39PM by bubblys http://ift.tt/2vCn9jo relationship_advice