School is weighing me down aspergers

A quick rundown of me. I'm a 16 year old in my sophomore year of high school currently taking honors and an AP class.

Since the beginning of this year I've just felt weighed down by school. I feel like I can do something, but am trapped, imprisoned. I can't specifically point out what it is that makes me feel weighed down. The stress of constant overcrowding when in the hallways, classes, lunch etc... The attitudes of the people around me there, the institutionalized feel. I don't really know, just all of it. I made a post about this about half a year to a year ago, and I just can't shake the feeling. I've had this feeling for years now. But it's worse than ever. And other people say "Well I have to go through it to so stop complaining" Well I'm sorry I don't want to be as compliant as you, why don't you stop?

I just feel like dropping out and doing something with my life. Unlike most dropouts I actually want to do something with my life, I want to learn business, invest in the stock market. Not just business of course, but something productive, I just feel like school is wasting my time. And no I don't spoke weed and am not a degenerate. Have time to actually think about life, think about what I'm going to do. Get a job. I'm already thinking of joining the Navy and becoming a "Nuke", does it really matter if I take AP classes? Maybe it's just the AP class weighing me down, which I plan to drop in January. In a way I don't want to be part of the statistics, I want to walk the path less traveled. One of the few people who dropped out and succeeded. I want to be different, have a story to tell.

And since being put into AP and honors classes, what really bugs me is the kids. I've grown my whole life in standard classes where the kids are yes most of the time ghetto, or trashy. But I enjoy those classes the most. The kids are funny, there's always a show, and you don't feel like everything is serious and against you. In the classes I am now the kids aren't really that funny, maybe sometimes, but most of them are preppy upper middle class suburban kids. And maybe I'm jealous or something but I've lived my whole life in a decent house, yet a house that hasn't been kept up. Upstairs heater doesn't work, mold, left sink clogged, dishwasher doesn't work. Refrigerator ten years old, shelves in it broken and messy. Sometimes not really much food, or money. Dad left, pays child support, doesn't really uphold house. Don't have much clothes, can't really afford much. I'm grateful for what I have though, basically live on my decent computer and phone, have it better than most I guess. Just not in my area. I go on Instagram and see the pictures of the neighborhoods these kids live in, huge houses, paved driveway, nice cars, kept yards. Inside house, marble counters, wood floors etc....

I just feel like they don't really know how life is, they have a protected view.

I also feel like an animal. It's scary how draconian the truancy laws are in America. It's like YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL! I'm talking about the officials. That's made me think of running away to somewhere for a short while. I just don't really know where. I just wish I could educate myself and learn, which I love to do (mostly like history) on my own time and get a GED.

I don't know it's really hard for me to put my thoughts together right now. If you want to ask questions, that'd be great. I'll respond. Has or does anyone else have these thoughts, anyone know what to do? Please don't try to persuade me otherwise with "It's for your future"

Submitted November 15, 2017 at 07:34AM by aspergersteen http://ift.tt/2z25btG aspergers

I don't think I am 'fully asperger's' or was misdiagnosed in some way. But many things left me in a confusing place. aspergers

It's not a very good thing to ask people here for evaluation or re-evaluation. But I felt like my lived experiences are very different than many people here and I am not sure what to feel about it. Sorry for a long post and bad use of language since I'm not an English speaker. It's just something I worry on and off.

So for the story, I was diagnosed at 6 or 7 with asperger's due to problem mainly regarding to impulse controls, breaking the rules and emotions in primary school, coupled with higher IQ at that time. Which meant I had to get moved to other school with special education service.

Although I was professionally diagnosed, I didn't seem to receive any treatment that many people found helpful and wished they were getting as a child. Or there was some treatment, but It has never addressed my own problems. Not at all. And I felt like being in special education actually hinders my progress, at the point, I wasn't even trying to act normal to be accepted.

In my believe, even 'neurotypicals' need to learn social skills. by environment. it is their need t do. But somehow, my will to fit in the school has been stripped. every students knew for the official reason that I were not considered normal.

I am not sure if I am being honest here though, I found myself to be more innate with reading social cues compared to most experiences described by people here, although my impulsivity always got me troubles. As well as my general inattentiveness in what people were saying and doing when I was younger. I used to disregard their feeling even though I knew what to do. Always felt entitled to everything as a kid or use words to intentionally put down people. Although as I grew up I learned the manners, by myself, without any medical intervention. Now my social skills are improved a lot and can get into new groups easier. Sarcasm or non-literalness use of word has also never been my problems.

Sensory issues are not much of my problems too, Never felt like light or sound around me being too overwhelming. No picky eating or a specific texture I dislikes greatly. many would consider it the source of autism symptoms, but I don't relate well to spectrumites on this part.

I did have frequent 'meltdowns' as a child, but compared to what people here are describing. I never had 'sensory related' meltdown. It has always been more like a tantrum, with audience needed, without any repetitive bodily gestures too. I cried and get angry in the way that I have an idea I wanted something, and always being of emotional with discernible cause and effect. Being about other people and relationship most of the time.

I used to have obsessions as a child though, but it has waned. Someone, my mind has never gone on over-obsessing something that it causes problems in other aspects of life anymore. I still have deep interests that come and go, but it'd just be a hobbies like any do that I can even get bored of it times to time!. I have also had no adherence to routine at all, I can cope well with changes and unexpected events.

I like to procrastinate, but always catch up on the deadline of everything so I have never got really bad on the academic parts. Most of my executive function are ok, especially if I was forced to live on my own. But I still have problems on this part sometimes I think.

Now at the age of 20, most of my core autistic symptoms are gone. Even if I'm not the most social person out there, I have friends and go out for social events regularly. The only problems that comes up occasionally would be anxiety about judgement, from deep rooted fear if someone would see me as autistic.

There was something very strange to me that happened a few years ago, I was starting at a new boarding school, and starts being independent in the first time. Forcing me to take a lot of responsibility myself.

This is where I felt like I have changed so much, a lot of social skills comes to me just by looking, I seem to be aware of my environment more. And gained a group of friends (which didn't last till the end by the way). And for some reason, my attention to details or deep interests are reduced, the trait many regarded as being useful in autism, just as I gained these NT-like skills. As if my brain has rewired to shares some of its bandwidth to these parts.

I start to wonder again, I have always felt like the diagnosis and treatment was never truly fit. I always opposed the psychiatrist that gave me the opinion. A lot of things seem like I has always been on the milder and squeezed into criteria. But I had a big 'impairment' on emotional temperament that getting a diagnosis would get me some professional. even if what I really wanted never came. I have spoken to my housemaster/teacher at the new school once about this, but he said that I didn't look asperger's, from his 30 years teaching experience. (although this can be chalked to these threads of 'people don't think you look autistic enough' and not a good argument)

Somehow, I might actually be autistic which has learned to cope well enough to not appear like one like many side. But if I were to get diagnosed again. I wouldn't get the label.

This doesn't mean that I am a truly 'neurotypical' though, I might have other mental issues. I felt the description of ADHD. Coupled with a cluster B personality disorders fits my experience more. (And those are the things many autistic people are misdiagnosed with). The term 'Broader Autism Phenotype' might also fits, but I don't think I relate to full-blown autistic like sensory procession.

Speaking of my family, both of my parents are very harsh and critical. That could see imperfection in everything I did, even before I got my diagnosis, although I could see them pushes me for the label as they might have believed it might perfect me in some way. They were hard working people that weren't with me all the time when I was very young.

I wouldn't call them outright abusive, they are loving in their intention. Just they resort to what we would be verbal and physical abuses a lot of times, but I can see it in disciplining light. As well as their mix of overprotective and neglectful. (Sort of similar to harmful refrigerator mom theory, it is debunked. I only use it as a comparision) So an ingrained psychological effect is possible.

They don't seem to have prominent autistic traits other than their perfectionism and rigidity, my mom has a bit of anger issues but control that well enough in public, and they can be both very charming in social settings.

My younger sister, is one of the more social person I have seen in my life, but shares anger and emotions issues with me, only more controlled in public. She's never got diagnosed with anything. and it seems like my parents are more kind and relaxed with her. If upbringing matters.

It's a better luck that we have a less strict rules on medical records in my country, and I have got around not having to use it. My parents are convinced that the diagnosis might be wrong, but sort of left it as something they'll never talk about again. The loophole made it possible to erase the records, but I have never been truly re-evaluated, due to their suggestion 'What if they confirmed that you are really autistic' (Although I might seek it by myself when I am more independent financially)

So what should I feel?

But Now I feel like in a limbo, I wanted to believe I can change myself to be better with society and people innately. Neuroplasticity gives me hope, but most of autism advocates keep saying that I can only cope. Neurology and brain wiring, can never be changed. and there should be no cure for autism if it was to be made, as it will destroy the personalities that made those people.

But if there was a cure, I'd take it to make sure it's just not some impermanence coping skills. Even If I made myself fit in the larger society enough.

I don't relate truly, especially now, with people on spectrum in the way they process things. I might be only have a half of it, being a BAP, or having something else that mimics the condition. But if I used to be diagnosed professionally once, It could be just a denial of someone. Who was definitely an introverted assholish hothead, bad at working with people. (I'm much more social and agreeable now)

Maybe I am becoming autistic in my obsessiveness to find the truth of my brain (something that isn't physically diagnosed). Autism advocates peer pressured me into doubting my doubt again.

Tl;dr Was diagnosed with asperger's as a child, doesn't feel like it fits my problems although used to have bad social and emotion control problems. Not getting any proper treatment except being forced into another special education school which made things worse. Got much better after starting to live independently, losing some good sides of autistic processing as well (feel more NT). Still have some sub-clinical autistic traits. Now conflicted between autism community peer pressure and my own denialistic and possibly delusional aspiration to fix myself

Submitted August 31, 2017 at 05:06PM by DuckWithASatchel http://ift.tt/2gr21Hy aspergers

Addicted to noise-cancelling headphones? aspergers

DAE experience becoming "addicted" to active noise-cancelling headphones? A while back I bought some to use on planes and found I liked that they were wireless and fit comfortably against my (large) ears so that I started using them for gaming, watching movies, and listening to music. Okay, so far so good.

But recently I've found myself wearing them, switched on, all the time, even when I'm not using them for audio. They cut out a lot of the ambient noise like the refrigerator and such (I live in an apartment building in the dense core of Seattle, so there's plenty of other noise too). By "found myself" I mean I'll put them on intending to watch a movie or something, but when I change my mind and don't actually use them for audio... I keep them on anyways, and sometimes I find myself surprised to be wearing them hours later. When I take them off, the ambient noise is unbearable for a few minutes, even though I'm usually okay with it (in fact I live here where there's a lot of ambient noise on purpose, although I'm not sure if I can quite express why).

Have other aspies experienced this? Should I be worried about long-term impacts to my ability to tolerate ambient noise?

Submitted June 18, 2017 at 03:41AM by jfta990 http://ift.tt/2rDeFYu aspergers

I have a very complex story to tell you about my Aspergers, and how I'm about to defeat it for good. aspergers

This story is not for the defeatists, if you are one, just scroll away. I'm: male, 31, with a college degree in mechatronics, one day when I was 28 yo, started to feel inferior to the rest of the people, I always was very smart in all tech and computers, but never had a girlfriend, and never got a decent job, I got fired twice, and I had 3 friends, one girl from uni, one guy from uni, and one guy from 7th grade. I had to leave college after two years of getting in, because of money and then I started again in another school and got my degree at the age of 25. All the people around me started getting successful, getting married, having kids, traveling, cars, fun, and I didn't. ok. that's my background, now I'm talking about the moment when I got sad. I always wanted to do a lot of things, like to get a lot of friends, have a girlfriend, create technology, and something else that I didn't know. So I was there at my job, sitting at a desk making tons of phone calls, and filling a spreadsheet, when I exploded. I stood up walked to my manager and told him I wanted to quit, he asked why? and I said, I don't know. I walked to human resources and quit, same question, same answer. it was 3pm I walked outside, and smelled the air of "freedom" without knowing the hell that I was about to experience. I got home, and my mom asked me what happened, I explained it to her and she imploded, she didn't said a word, but had a face that I will always remember. I went to my room and slept. The next day I decided I wanted to "understand" just that; "understand" what? I didn't know. so I started thinking, I used all my energy and time to think. The next day my mom yelled at me, said a lot of painful things to me, and from that moment she used all her power to traumatize me into returning to my job or to get another one. I continued thinking and thinking, but now with my crazy mom trying to help me at all costs but by traumatizing me into getting a job. And I kept thinking and thinking and thinking, and after a few months I started understanding the basics of humanity. "why is my mom yelling at me?", "because she loves me", "does she know she is making me sick?", "I don't know"... and I kept thinking and thinking, more days got passed, and I started understanding that people lie, people cheat, people hurt, even my mom, my friends and everyone around me tried to help me by saying lots of things to me, some were nice, some were harsh, and I got pretty confused, but I kept thinking and thinking. Then the “heartbreaks” started, I heard my mom talking to my grandma about me, and she told her I was a very bad person, she said I was abusing her kindness too much, and she believed I wanted to be in my room forever and be fed like a pet; even though I tried to make my mom understand what I was doing. Still to this day my mom does not understand that I was thinking and learning something I wasn't born with. Ok... time passed, and I lost my three friends, I had no money at all, not even a single cent, and I stole food from my refrigerator for the next 2 years, my mom even got as far as not to buy food for days to make me look somewhere else for it, I didn't have friends so I had nowhere to get food, so I got 3 days without eating anything, just water. I grew alone in a room, away from everything, and I thought I was getting crazy, but I kept on with my thinking, and believe me, I learned a lot, and trained a lot, I watched tv shows and movies to learn to understand facial expressions, and social culture, “are people so crazy for sex?”, “does everybody lie?”, “why does that girl want to control that dude's mind?”, and my heart got broken hundreds of times, humans suck -I thought- and I started thinking about suicide, but what stopped me was my goal, to understand, I thought “if I understand and it still sucks, I kill myself at the spot”. So I kept learning. Until one day I “learned it all”, humans suck but if I suck too I'm a human, so to be a human I have to suck too; (confusing huh? I mean humans don't suck they just do human nature, so if I believe human nature sucks then I avoid it and I stop being human, so humans hate me. But if I make human nature then I become a human too and they start liking me.) Pretty confusing stuff. I am really convinced that aspergers people are one step away from animals, but we are so few that there is no way we can be considered normal. Maybe after 300 years of evolution, aspergers will be the new standard and wars will end. BUT, returning to reality, I learned human nature for two years and I started finding a logic to it, so I was sure I was ready for the normal world. So I came out of my room and started looking for a job, got 4 or 5 interviews in 6 months and they never called back, so I made an effort to act, (as an actor) more neurotypical, smiling a lot, being active but professional and serious, and I noticed the interviewer was reacting in a positive way, so I kept up the act, and continued for the next two interviews in that job, everything he said and all his body language was interpreted by me perfectly, (it was very tiring, so much brain power into deciphering all that little actions, and behaviors) but I got it, I got that fucking job!! and not any job, It was a fucking manager job!! It was so overwhelming!! so I started working there. Getting that job wasn't an accident, I planned it, people's brains can get really far to survive, I didn't wanted to do any illegal stuff, I had to do it by legal means at all costs. The plan was like this: people want to get the best job possible, at the best company as possible, so they go for the big ones: samsung, hp, ford... but no one wants to work in the small ones, no one dreams of getting a job at a lousy company ever. So If I sell myself as Mr. Allmighty to a small company and more importantly, if they like me as a person, I have to get the job. And it worked, all my tech knowledge was the final blow to the mix, so I am a manager, the most difficult job for an aspie, because it involves a lot of human contact, but I have a “PhD on human nature” (not a formal PhD, just a dude with a lot of time to learn). So I thought, “if they fire me it doesn't matter, I will learn a lot from this experience” so I started working and knowing my subordinates, and the other managers. At first it was so complicated! Because I had a lot of restraints to my personality, so I followed Will Smith's Hitch advice and revealed my true self gradually... I have been there for a month now, and I have seen so much things there, It's indescribable, every minute of every day I learn something completely new for me, and it blows my mind, the first days I had to sleep a lot to let my brain to assemble the thoughts of the day and now after a month, I'm “stable” or at least I think I am stable, I have managed to learn and practice all the human nature I didn't have, and for starters, I would say it just consist on smiling all day long, If someone says something with no logic at all, it has to be a joke, so if you just smile and say nothing, it works, if someone acts different they are into something, and you have to figure out what do they feel; everything is people having feelings and acting about them at the extent of their logic, and after a while you learn to read faces like an open book and you start “reading people's minds”. It's so complex... So for the end I will say this: We aspergers are obsessive, use that obsession to learn human nature, and one day you will understand it, and that day you will be an emulated neurotypical, and will get something out of this life. If you have questions I will gladly answer them down below. If you want to learn something about human nature ask it here as well. and never give up, and remember, the universe we see is a set of superstitions.

Submitted August 05, 2016 at 07:36AM by quienchingados http://ift.tt/2aHIb3o aspergers

I can't stand dishwashers, freezers and refrigerators aspergers

This is starting to become an increasingly bigger problem for me. The people i am living with are getting increasingly frustrated at me for not putting used plates bowls and utensils in the dishwasher.

I don't like using dishwashers because when they are filled with just a few filthy dishes they tend to be very dirty and smelly and very close to each other which makes it difficult putting anything in wiithout touching anything.

Refrigerators i can somewhat stand, but when something is smelly in there it lingers for some time and jars and such don't feel pleasant to to the touch.

Freezers i downright hate. The coarse grinding sound of rime and the painful touch of frozen things makes it a nightmare to dig up anything that is below a layer of things.

How the heck do people even use these appliances without getting stressed? Can i get some help on how?

Submitted June 14, 2016 at 08:35PM by Fibbox http://ift.tt/1VXrV1I aspergers

Too sensitive to sound aspergers

I have no problem listening to music on my headphones but loud surrounding sounds shock me and seriously get me on my nerves. That is one of the reasons i don't like pubs and parties very much. I am always telling mum to turn down the TV and telling my brothers to shut up when they muck around or start arguing and I can not think or even speak properly. In class I would sometimes need to leave the classroom and work somewhere quiet otherwise i would end up panicking and when i leave the room i normally hear chuckles from the other damn students as they think i'm strange or just trying to get attention. When i work somewhere quiet, sometimes the slightest noises from the air-conditioner or refrigerator would irritate me when trying to concentrate on work. The only way i solve the irritation is putting on my headphones and getting lost in the music. but you know, that can even distract you from work depending on what music it is. Anyone here have the same problem?

Submitted February 21, 2016 at 07:01AM by WhatGenderAmEye http://ift.tt/1TsC6t1 aspergers

Another naive human who thinks someone close to them might have aspergers. Advice on peaceful rule making please! aspergers

Backstory

This could be a 500 page book if I let it, because this guy has been a dear and close friend for 22 years and we have lived together many times. A few of the places we have lived, I have been asked to get rid of him or leave myself (we tend to come as a package deal because I consider this guy my brother, though we have no blood relation). There have been times he rented a place and I crashed on his couch and vice versa. There is no score being kept.

On one trip to burning man together we teamed up with a guy who founded an autism foundation in the Bay Area. This guy asked me at one point if I realized my brother was on the autism spectrum. I always just thought he was a weirdo but I had never suspected there might be a reason.

We are both 35 now and 2 years ago I rented a place with 2 bedrooms and a plan to rent out the second bedroom because the rent and bills were above my means. My "brother" took up residence in this room and got so attached to it that I just silently decided to let him stay in it (rather than on the couch). My boyfriend moved in shortly after and began to help me pay for the place by teaching guitar lessons out of the house.

Current

Chores have always been an issue. If the rest of us are cleaning, he will join in usually without even being asked, but if I ask him to do particular things he will get a little upset. The problem is if I don't, he will be cleaning things we have already cleaned or just taking random objects and putting them on surfaces like he's playing a game of Tetris.

He would always get upset about being asked to buy toilet paper until I made a "whose turn is it to buy toilet paper list", after which he almost seemed excited to contribute. I realized that he might respond better to having a concrete list in front of him but I made the mistake of not only making a chore list, but putting instructions on how to do the chores and this overwhelmed him. This is an ongoing process that I am working on balancing.

There is now a bigger issue. My boyfriend's guitar lessons. We immediately made the rule that he cannot cook, walk through the house naked, or shower during these lessons. But if there is a lesson at 3:30, he will either start cooking or start taking a shower at 3:20. I have tried to explain to him that sometimes people show up early but he gets upset and says he is following all the rules so he doesn't understand.

It seems like he can't factor in unexpected events into his actions and I need a non-confrontational way to remake these rules in a way he will accept (it's always been harder to get him to accept changes in rules than rules themselves). He has already chased off one of the students because he cooked onion curry five minutes before a lesson and the student came in with burning eyes and grossed out by the strong smell. As my boyfriend gets more students, the time slots that my brother can do things in shorten (there are never more than 2 lessons a day). My brother suggested that we use our room for lessons and I tried to explain to him that it's inappropriate to take 11 year old boys into a bedroom with a grown man and close the door. My brother claimed we were making assumptions and didn't know what we were talking about. I have thought of a couple possibilities and I would like to get your opinion on them.

1. Put a weekly calendar up of not just the guitar lessons but the time slots in which the kitchen and shower cannot be used. (Which might make him feel even more limited?)

2. Instead of a chore list give him "monthly projects" like cleaning under the stove and refrigerator, or fixing household things because he is really good at that stuff and has also broken a lot of stuff in the house that could use fixing. I would want to specifically state that these projects are his "rent" so he begins to take some sort of responsibility in the house (he can't hold a job, and doesn't contribute his food stamps because he has an expensive diet).

Earlier today I upset him by telling him he had to leave the bathroom now and go to his room (he was standing naked in the bathroom post shower) because the next guitar student was due in 5 minutes. Whenever I appologize for upsetting him like this he says it's ok, he knows "I'm crazy and have mood swings". This makes me feel really sure he truly doesn't understand all this social stuff.

I admit I'm not the best either, I do have mood swings and get easily frustrated when he makes sudden loud noises or pulls things out of the trash we are throwing away, etc. Maybe I am the one that has the problem? Am I just really OCD? Oh god we are two crazy fucks living together with a boyfriend who is too zen to express his household needs.

Is there a better way to communicate to him that these lessons are what allow us to stay here?

Is there a peaceful way to get him to help with things? A way that won't just upset him and cause him to lock himself up in his room?

please feel free to be annoyed that I am assuming this aspergers.

Tldr how to get someone with possible aspergers to help around the house without upsetting him.

Submitted November 24, 2015 at 03:25AM by leptoquark http://ift.tt/1lFIUqd aspergers

hat can we [M/24 and F/23] do to help her brother? [M/16]? aspergers

This is in reference to my girlfriend's younger brother who has mild form of Aspergers.I known my girlfriend for 3 years and her brother for 3 as well. I am going to keep this short since I can write a novel about this. My girlfriend's father owns a chinese restaurant and works there 364 days/yr so they have no time to "help" their younger son with his mental issue

Her brother has problems with social communication. He will start off saying a sentence but then drops off in the middle. To make it worse he can only speak English and his parents can barely understand since they speak a second language mainly He has NEVER been outside besides school (Like malls, restaurants, etc.) and only stays inside playing shooting games all day. He has no friends, and when he tries to make friends other kids deter those away from him.

He eats microwaveable food in the refrigerator and doesn't know how to cook any other food. The eats only junk food for the most part besides dinner

He doesn't study, but he's not that dumb either. He's been place in those special classes and aces them however he's "different" so he cannot be placed in regular classes. He doesn't like making friends with the "special" kids

He doesn't have any sort of social respect for other people (Yelling at 2 AM in the morning when people are sleeping), He has no common courtesy (Doesn't know how to say Thank you) and asks sensitive questions (Why are you fat?, What's that acne on your face?etc.) He can't even help out at the restaurant because he gets too frustrated (You have to be fast at take outs)

So is it too late to correct this behavior? I'm not sure if it's even the Asperger that's making him this way.He has a really bad and stubborn attitude. He thinks he's entitled and if he doesn't get his way he'll start yelling and screaming

tldr; autistic family member needs help

Submitted September 10, 2015 at 04:32AM by throwawayx1480 http://ift.tt/1KaSABY aspergers

So How Focused Are You? aspergers

I understanding that one commonly shared symptom in the ADS spectrum is an intense focus upon one (or more) interests. I'm curious as to how intense this focus is.

I will share. My interest (and occupation) is Culinary Arts. Not only do I read and write about Culinary Arts, research recipes, and produce all sorts of food products at home but I have a garage filled with tools and equipment that include a 2nd refrigerator and freezer. At work when my school's budget wouldn't extend to my having a utility cart, baker's rack with sheet pans, and even something as relatively cheap as red sanitizer buckets, I bought my own. Since I am a trained chef, I wear uniforms to work ... which jacket, black trousers, black socks, and non-skid restaurant service shoes. (I have a toque and a black and white pinstriped apron but I only wear these when I am in the kitchen at work).

Included among my hobbies are writing, soap making, and candle making. All of my soap and candles are handcrafted to look and smell like real food. Although I am not vegan, I have written and published 6 vegan cookbooks and was on a vegan diet for two years just so I could write these books. I specialize in creating vegan versions of popular comfort foods like chicken fried steak or cream cheese pie and did not use animal based products during the creation of these recipes.

I am an avid fan of the Food Network. I collect Culinary Arts themed DVDs. I also collect vintage china and unusual cooking tools such as Mahmoul cookie paddles from Saudi Arabia which were hand carved by a Bedouin from date palm wood as cookie molds.

Although I have shifted to an e-book library, I still have some 200 cookbooks and reference books that take up two bookcases.

So now I'm curious ... how obsessed are any of you with your particular interests?

Submitted September 08, 2015 at 06:10AM by DC1346 http://ift.tt/1FunJuG aspergers

It's driving me crazy. aspergers

I was given a new refrigerator yesterday and it is so much louder than the old one. The hum is driving me insane and it seems to run constantly. For every ten minutes it's quiet, it spends an hour letting the motor run. I don't want to say anything to the landlord though because I live in a subsidized apartment and the refrigerator is supplied. It wouldn't feel right to complain about something I didn't pay for. On the other hand, there is nowhere I can go in my apartment where I can't hear the damn thing running. I just want the thing to be silent for awhile.

Submitted September 02, 2015 at 07:12PM by APerson09 http://ift.tt/1JM3nSV aspergers

Unable to discern 'moods' effectively aspergers

How does everyone else deal with a situation where someone you're around suddenly starts acting different. Based upon circumstances, probably related to something they were just doing, but you can't tell. They aren't verbally expressing themselves about it so you're left to decrypt the whole thing yourself.

The only reason you know, (in my case) is because their faces are expressing something different. Here's where my main problem is, I have problems discerning emotions and some facial expressions related to emotions.

So, say your friend is working on a broken refrigerator and doing some trivial repairs. He hits a bump in procedure and finds a bigger than expected problem, which turns out to be incredibly frustrating to repair without a certain tool but he tries anyway without getting much further. After some amount of toil , the problematic step is passed and he continues with the last couple needed steps to fix the unit's freezing capabilities. Afterwards he stops and says, "let's watch go watch a movie"

Okay. Sounds fine, so we go watch a movie, but he isn't very engaged with it. His face is kind of tense or his eyebrows are down and unrelaxed, he isn't really talking. Perhaps his movements are kind of "rigid" and sudden or forceful.

Since this is one I was able to think of I can tell he's simply aggravated at the repairs being so difficult to finish.

In a real situation, I'm nearly clueless as to what many sudden changes in body language and facial expressions means. I myself get upset wondering if they're mad at me or because I'm having so much difficulty knowing what's different. It becomes exhausting and ruins my afternoon because I can't adjust to their change in presence, and how I should behave around them.

Usually when I'm on the angry side of things I don't want someone joking to me about a point in a movie. I don't want my failure to result in, again, inappropriate behavior compared to their state.

So. The point of the thread after I've rambled and made a mess of it by typing from my phone, how do you guys and girls cope with being slow to notice/adjust to someone else's mood, body language, facial expressions... Etc, when you don't know what's going on?

Asking seems like the last resort, so any pointers aside from that would be most helpful. Thanks :o

Submitted July 22, 2015 at 06:14PM by Lutero_Kinkade http://ift.tt/1OwX2Lk aspergers

Boyfriend at his wits end. Information resources and advice appreciated. aspergers

I'm sorry this is a bit long...

My boyfriend "M" lives with his brother "J" who is diagnosed with Aspergers, and (more recently) psychotic depression. They moved into apartment together after their mother decided she could no longer deal with J. Unfortunately M is growing increasingly frustrated with his brother, and feels overwhelmed because he has never been given any real information or practical advice on how to deal with various situations.

Please note that I do not think that his behavior is typical. Some of his actions are certainly influenced by Aspergers and depression, but many problems stem from him learning he can get what he wants if he pushes people hard enough. If you don't crack he thinks that you don't care about him, and will still systematically make you as miserable as possible until you do give in to what he wants. The hard part is how to get through to him. :/

Some of the bigger issues:

Impulsivity//Money - M is on unemployment, and J is on disability which means money is very tight. Unfortunately, when J wants something he wants it NOW. He will take food and money if it is left unattended, because in his mind it's not being "used". If he doesn't have money he will become verbally abusive, and sometimes even break things in attempt to push M into buying him things. If something is available that he wants to use, he wants to use it all up; money in the bank, ice cream in the freezer, internet downloads (Australia, so going over the cap costs them extra), etc, without really accepting that sometimes it's better to save/ration these things for later, or that other people deserve their fair share. Recent example: Neither of them have a computer at the moment because both are broken, nor do they have a working refrigerator. After receiving his payment, M repeatedly asked J to save his money so they could get things fixed/replaced, but J got it in his head that he HAD to have a PS Vita, and berated M until he agreed to take J out to buy one. Within days J is getting bored of it, and demanding M spend his own money to buy J snack foods.

Hygiene//General Cleanliness - J does not like to shower regularly, and often flat out refuses to do any housework because "he doesn't feel like it". This actually caused him to be kicked out of his previous group living arrangement, because he didn't feel responsible for anything but his own bedroom. If he clogs the toilet, or gets vomit/urine on the floor he expects M to clean up after him because "it's gross". Recently he was left alone in the apartment (M was trying to earn a little extra money doing a job with a friend), and had a tantrum; tearing up a bunch of catalogs, and just leaving them on the floor. He will only clean if it's a direct benefit to him (like if he has friends coming over).

Food - Right now J is on a prescribed liquid diet, (and M is doing it as well to support his brother), but left to his own devices, J would eat nothing but junk/fast food. He expects other people to make his meals for him, and if M doesn't, then J will just eat up all the tastier components of food available in the house. As in, he won't make a sandwich, he'll just eat all of the deli meat. If you offer to share something with him, he will eat all of it. If someone isn't around to ask, he'll just take it. (Has repeatedly eaten M's friends food without permission, expecting M to pay to replace it). He'll throw tantrums in the store if you don't buy him what he wants. I want very much to one day move in with my boyfriend, but I hate feeling like the only solution is to put locks on the main fridge/freezer, and have a separate one for J.

M loves his brother, but I'm not sure how long he can stand things as they currently are. He wants J to be able to live independently, but if M gets pushed past his limit, we are both worried that J will end up on the street.

Submitted November 13, 2014 at 01:19PM by Amanita_ocreata http://ift.tt/14gzLfk aspergers