School is weighing me down aspergers

A quick rundown of me. I'm a 16 year old in my sophomore year of high school currently taking honors and an AP class.

Since the beginning of this year I've just felt weighed down by school. I feel like I can do something, but am trapped, imprisoned. I can't specifically point out what it is that makes me feel weighed down. The stress of constant overcrowding when in the hallways, classes, lunch etc... The attitudes of the people around me there, the institutionalized feel. I don't really know, just all of it. I made a post about this about half a year to a year ago, and I just can't shake the feeling. I've had this feeling for years now. But it's worse than ever. And other people say "Well I have to go through it to so stop complaining" Well I'm sorry I don't want to be as compliant as you, why don't you stop?

I just feel like dropping out and doing something with my life. Unlike most dropouts I actually want to do something with my life, I want to learn business, invest in the stock market. Not just business of course, but something productive, I just feel like school is wasting my time. And no I don't spoke weed and am not a degenerate. Have time to actually think about life, think about what I'm going to do. Get a job. I'm already thinking of joining the Navy and becoming a "Nuke", does it really matter if I take AP classes? Maybe it's just the AP class weighing me down, which I plan to drop in January. In a way I don't want to be part of the statistics, I want to walk the path less traveled. One of the few people who dropped out and succeeded. I want to be different, have a story to tell.

And since being put into AP and honors classes, what really bugs me is the kids. I've grown my whole life in standard classes where the kids are yes most of the time ghetto, or trashy. But I enjoy those classes the most. The kids are funny, there's always a show, and you don't feel like everything is serious and against you. In the classes I am now the kids aren't really that funny, maybe sometimes, but most of them are preppy upper middle class suburban kids. And maybe I'm jealous or something but I've lived my whole life in a decent house, yet a house that hasn't been kept up. Upstairs heater doesn't work, mold, left sink clogged, dishwasher doesn't work. Refrigerator ten years old, shelves in it broken and messy. Sometimes not really much food, or money. Dad left, pays child support, doesn't really uphold house. Don't have much clothes, can't really afford much. I'm grateful for what I have though, basically live on my decent computer and phone, have it better than most I guess. Just not in my area. I go on Instagram and see the pictures of the neighborhoods these kids live in, huge houses, paved driveway, nice cars, kept yards. Inside house, marble counters, wood floors etc....

I just feel like they don't really know how life is, they have a protected view.

I also feel like an animal. It's scary how draconian the truancy laws are in America. It's like YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL! I'm talking about the officials. That's made me think of running away to somewhere for a short while. I just don't really know where. I just wish I could educate myself and learn, which I love to do (mostly like history) on my own time and get a GED.

I don't know it's really hard for me to put my thoughts together right now. If you want to ask questions, that'd be great. I'll respond. Has or does anyone else have these thoughts, anyone know what to do? Please don't try to persuade me otherwise with "It's for your future"

Submitted November 15, 2017 at 07:34AM by aspergersteen http://ift.tt/2z25btG aspergers