Having problems with my wife's family in regards to our 9-month-old. Suggestions? Parenting

So for whatever reason, my wife's family (her parents, cousins, and siblings) have this notion that I am overly protective. Whenever I make comments that I am uncomfortable with whatever situation they have the baby in, they either make comments about me being overprotective, give me sideways looks, or they outright laugh at me. Last night alone at a family Christmas party I tried to tell them not to let her shove an entire Ritz cracker in her mouth, not to let her sit and play in the entrance/exit to the kitchen (small house, very crowded, lots of people coming and going), stop letting the younger (10 and 12 YO) cousins run around with the baby, stop letting the baby chew on a small refrigerator magnet which was an obvious choking risk, and not to let the dog known to be a biter sniff around the baby.

This is pretty much every time we get together with them, which is often. They just come right out and voice their opinion about how unreasonable I am being. Hell, even the older cousins kids have told me that I need to chill out. I have gotten to the point to where I am self-conscious about voicing that I am uncomfortable. Last night wife's cousin's husband who is a firefighter had run across the room to pull the Ritz cracker out of baby's mouth. In my mind, I'm thinking "Okay, so I'm not the only one." I just find it incredibly offensive. I try not to be the helicopter dad. We don't have these issues with my family, my friends, or the wife's friends. I just feel like they treat my baby like a doll and it scares the fuck out of me.

So today we are having a birthday party for my older son from another relationship. I warned my wife that I am going to start putting my foot down with her family. Of course, that turned into an argument. Any suggestions? Am I being unreasonable?

Submitted December 17, 2017 at 11:24PM by BG1234567 http://ift.tt/2AJs6qk Parenting

My Quality of Life Ingredients Parenting

As a cook, I know that quality ingredients make any recipe better. Just-picked greens from my garden, rich dark chocolate, farm-fresh eggs - anything you make will be substantially better because of the quality of what you put in. Of course, I know this. You know this, too. It’s a no brainer.

This not-so-revelatory observation took on new meaning to me as I found myself at the ER with my son and his shattered elbow this summer. You might think that as the mother of three boys, the ER would be my second home. But, no. At our July 3rd party, my middle son spectacularly shattered his elbow - our family’s first broken bone - as he plummeted off a bouncy house. After an epic ER visit, my son spent two painful days at home awaiting a long surgery, involving pins and a cast.

Looking back on this unexpected drama of last month, I am overcome with thankfulness at the people in my life who supported us through these rough days. Truly quality people - the absolute best.

Since my brain processes life as a recipe, and in homage to my “6 Under 6” motto, allow me to offer thanks to these six quality “ingredients” who enriched our lives during this challenging time.

The Healthy Stuff These are the people dedicated to my son’s health - the doctors who fixed my broken son and gave us peace of mind. Thank you to the friend who jumped in amongst the commotion and successfully pushed his elbow back into place (in the middle of our living room). Thank you to the friend who sat with us the entire night at the ER to study his x-rays with care. Thank you to our neighbor for checking on his elbow and handpicking the perfect doctor for his operation. And thank you to all of our doctor friends for talking, listening and answer my dozen dozens of questions. You are amazing.

The Cupboard Essentials Without these stalwart basics, all recipes fail. These are my loyal friends who are always on hand. As my husband and I rushed our son to the ER, you stayed after the party ended to spotlessly clean our house. You are the friends who don’t have to ask, “Where do you store the folding tables? Where do the extra chairs go?” You just know because you care. Thank you for always being there.

The Comfort Food These are the friends who speak your language - who know how much a warm dinner not only feeds your body but can feed your soul. Thank you for bringing us tasty meals and stocking our refrigerator so we didn’t have to worry about groceries and shopping - not only when we staggered home from the ER but also during the rough days before and after the surgery. Thank you for being your delicious selves.

The Desserts These are the friends who make your life sweeter and who delight in bringing joy. These friends filled our home - on an hourly basis - with candy, toys, balloons, cakes, brownies, cookies. (Imagine if Toy-R-Us produced a love child with a bakery, and you will have a slight glimpse of what my home looked like pre- and post-surgery). Thank you for showering my son with your yummy thoughtfulness.

The Beverages These are the friends who know your heart - the ones you have shared laughter and tears over cups of coffee. They are the ones who “get” the overwhelming anxiety and worry when our children - our precious, precious children - get hurt. You sent just the right message or called just at the perfect time, knowing just when the moments of maternal terror of sending my child to surgery would hit. Thank you for checking in on me, time and again. Thank you for your positive thoughts and prayers, especially during those difficult days.

The Bread of Life Of course, I’m talking about my family. You are the ones who sustain us with unconditional love and care. The tapestry of your love is woven together, stitch by stitch: ~ for taking our little one back to your house without a second’s thought and shielding him from seeing his brother in pain; ~ for faithfully waiting with us at the hospital throughout the wee hours of the night; ~ for taking care of our sweet dog during the holiday fireworks; ~ for finding just the perfect package of Legos; ~ for welcoming our dear patient home post-surgery with his favorite breaded chicken.

Update: Following a successful surgery, my son has a cast for six weeks. Once it is removed, the pins will be taken out, and then - thankfully - he should be ready to conquer the world again.

Karen Nochimowski is a mother of three rambunctious boys. Her children like different foods and constantly request a variety of things. Over time, she’s figured out a way to make dishes they all love by developing easy, quick recipes. That led to the creation of her blog, www.MommaChef.com. All of her recipes are simple and delicious, using no more than six ingredients and under six minutes of prep time.

Submitted August 13, 2017 at 02:29AM by TheMommaChef http://ift.tt/2uB1Rj1 Parenting

16 MO Plays in Dog Water/Food Parenting

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this/might have any tips as to what to do.

We have a 16MO girl and a 2 MO girl as well as two dogs. We have the dogs' food and water bowls in the kitchen by the refrigerator. Our toddler thinks that going and playing in the dog water and picking up handfuls of dog food to disperse around the house and into the dog water is a great time.

My wife is worried about her going and playing in the dog food while the dogs are eating, because dogs can become defensive and nip.

We've just been telling her, "No, no! We don't play in the dog food/water!" And moving her from the area, but she seems fascinated with it.

Anyone else experienced this? It's been going on for a month or more now.

Submitted August 10, 2017 at 08:13PM by siddthekid208 http://ift.tt/2vmeBN1 Parenting

My 4 year old won't stop climbing onto and then jumping off of things Parenting

The couch, the counter, the tv stand, the computer desks, the recliners, the bar, inside the refrigerator, shopping carts, counters at stores, the dogs, his cousins...the little monkey scales something in the second you're not looking at him and then makes eye contact with you on his way down.

His mother and I are terrified we're not going to notice him one day and he'll hurt himself.

What can we do to stop this?

Submitted May 22, 2017 at 06:54PM by gotftosleep http://ift.tt/2qMo0fd Parenting

My 4 year old won't stop climbing onto and then jumping off of things Parenting

The couch, the counter, the tv stand, the computer desks, the recliners, the bar, inside the refrigerator, shopping carts, counters at stores, the dogs, his cousins...the little monkey scales something in the second you're not looking at him and then makes eye contact with you on his way down.

His mother and I are terrified we're not going to notice him one day and he'll hurt himself.

What can we do to stop this?

Submitted May 22, 2017 at 06:54PM by gotftosleep http://ift.tt/2qMo0fd Parenting

Help managing my 7 yo son's eating? Parenting

So, I've always had a shitty relationship with food and I recently lost a significant amount of weight. I was always careful to try and create healthy habits with my son but as soon as I started to lose weight, he started to gain it. He's not fat, but he's getting there. He doesn't seem interested in joining me for exercise and he is starting to withdraw from exercise altogether.

The problem is, he's starting to secret eat. He doesn't have a reason to as far as I can tell, he gets treats and stuff sometimes and he eats pretty well anyway but recently, he's started waiting me out and eating when I'm doing something else or my attention is elsewhere. I need ideas to get him active and need to tackle this food situation before it becomes a real issue for him. He's not hungry when he's secret eating because I've always fed him well and he gets a choice in his meals.

Example situation; we eat a lot of fish so for dinner i ask him what he'd like and he says salmon and veggies. Yep, I'm good with that. We eat that and then when everything is cleared up we'll go watch a movie before bed. Then, he'll get up to go to the bathroom and instead he sneaks to the refrigerator and gets food to secret eat alone. I realise he was a long time and get up and find him, then I'm not sure what to do because if I make a big deal, I'm worried it will turn it into a huge issue, but obviously it's not ok. Its like 30/40 minutes after he finished dinner so he is not hungry!

I don't know what to do, he is gaining weight noticeably and in turn, it's making him lazy. I don't want him to struggle with his weight like I did and I don't want to hurt his feelings around it. What can I do?

Ps. Single mom, good family support network, his dad doesn't come around much but they have a good relationship none the less.

Submitted February 22, 2017 at 03:40PM by fu_foodthrowaway http://ift.tt/2l71qs5 Parenting

For parents of older daredevil kids, how did you manage it? Does it ever come to an end? Parenting

My 9 year old has always been a daredevil. Climbing over baby gates, sliding head first down the stairs, jumping off the couch, attempting to climb on the top of the refrigerator, etc. You name it, he did it.

He is still that way. He bikes and skateboards up ramps and hills. He plays football and wrestles. He climbs trees and I sometimes still have to monitor him on the trampoline to make sure he doesn't get too reckless. He is literally never without a bump, bruise, or cut and hasn't been since he was able to walk.

I am mostly okay with it, but sometimes he pushes the limit way too far. He did that earlier today at school. He attempted to jump off the playground swings and do a back flip in the air. He apparently landed pretty hard on his head and neck. He is fine, but the nurse had to call me because it was a head/neck injury.

He has also been injured falling out of trees, doing stupid tricks on his bike, etc. Injuries don't seem to phase him at all. He almost ripped a nipple off last summer doing a trick on his bike. As soon as he was all healed up, he was back at it again. He landed the trick the second time. He has had broken bones as well. He doesn't seem to care at all.

We tell him to think of the consequences before he does something, but that doesn't seem to help at all. Any advice on how to make sure he doesn't kill himself? How did you manage to keep your daredevils alive. Did it ever come to an end or do I have to prepare for a future of many medical bills for the kid and lots of grey hair for me?

Submitted February 18, 2017 at 02:12AM by Fitz_Tragic http://ift.tt/2kRYbV4 Parenting

Do you love your children "equally?" Parenting

This philosophical conundrum popped into my head today. Are people capable of loving equally? Do you love your cab driver as much as you love your wife/husband? Well, obviously not.

Then I asked myself as a parent, do I love all of my children equally? Now, we've all heard the classic, "Mommy and Daddy love of all of you!" and "They're both great!" (when comparing refrigerator art) but if I'm being honest with myself, no, I don't love all my kids equally.

But it's not like I'm ranking them in order of most loved to least loved. It's not equal love. It's "different" love.

I love my oldest son, because he's like a kindred spirit, sort of a brother I never had and he teaches me stuff sometimes. I love my youngest son because of his compassion oddly combined with a blunt childlike frankness. I love my oldest daughter for her artistic talent and spirit. I love my youngest daughter for inquisitiveness about the world and her outgoing personality.

Like I said, I don't love them equally. I love them differently. I don't think it's the same thing.

But if there is one thing they are all equally...it is...a pain in my butt. But yes...I do love my kids, all of them...differently.

Submitted August 25, 2016 at 07:24AM by iamnotroberts http://ift.tt/2bhLv7z Parenting

"I can't do it" (3yr m) Parenting

My son is 3 and a half, he has sensory processing disorder and may very well be very high-functioning autistic. They will not diagnose him yet officially because he does not have any delays anymore. So because his older sister is more severely autistic and he is our home is already set up in a way that allows them to have sensory input needs met and visuals etc...

His interests include Anatomy, ocean creatures, he has lots of questions all the time and does not stop talking from the time that he wakes up at 6 o'clock in the morning until the time that he goes to bed. He has no issues keeping up with other kids his age but it seems to be slightly more advanced about certain subjects.

This is where we have some concerns. He has no interest in educational settings or singing his ABCs, learning his numbers, doing puzzles coloring or anything that a typical three-and-a-half-year-old usually enjoys.

He is constantly asking for help if he has to do something even if it's putting two puzzle pieces together. We can show him a hundred times but he will not do it himself and it usually ends in him running away and getting upset. Unless it means giving him magnets to line up on the refrigerator. Or his plastic creatures still lined up in a row on furniture or the floor or wherever he chooses to line them up at.

I know he knows his ABCs. I've heard him sing them to himself and he can count to 12. But he likes to pretend he can't do it if you asked him to. And this is the main issue any time that he is asked to do something or it's his turn to produce anything "he can't do it" so how do you get somebody that is adamant about pretending to not know how to do anything, do something?

His sister loves praise and stickers and rewards. So she is easy. Lol.

Submitted August 15, 2016 at 09:24PM by McLeod3013 http://ift.tt/2bkgCgS Parenting

How to never say "No" to your child? Parenting

I've heard some people on the sub talk about a parenting method where you don't tell your kid "no." This morning the first thing my 16-month-old daughter did was open the refrigerator and pull out the canister of whipper cream. I said no, put it back, closed the door and went to change her. The whole time I'm doing that she parrots back "nonononononono."

I think my wife and I tell her "no." way too much. No, don't go behind the couch; no don't climb on the table; no, don't take the cat shit out of her box. I guess I'm not surprised that she's internalizing it, but I am disappointed in myself. I don't want her to feel like she's constantly being restricted, but it is kind of hard to cordon off an area large enough for her to have space to play in our small apartment.

How can I rectify this?

Submitted July 22, 2016 at 04:38PM by ChildishSerpent http://ift.tt/2a5mU5P Parenting

Taking things away as punishment? Parenting

Punishment might be the wrong word. Does anyone try taking things away as a method to influence behavior?

Our two-year old has a real problem with throwing blocks which we usually respond to by putting the blocks away and explaining that we don't throw things like blocks, etc.

Or another example: she'll beg for crayons so we get them out and let her sit at her table with them to color. That's the rule we want to have: only color at her art table. Within 2 minutes she's trying to take them into the other room where there's nothing to really color on. She really isn't interested in coloring, she just wants to carry them around, potentially mark on the wall or refrigerator, etc. So we tell her that if she can't sit and color with them we'll just have to put them away.

Naturally this just leads to yelling, screaming, etc. It doesn't seem to be particularly effective in changing behavior IMO but I'm lost on what else to try. Does this approach ever work or should I be looking for another solution?

Submitted April 30, 2016 at 12:47AM by raisingveruca http://ift.tt/24q6ecF Parenting

Advice/resources for non-custodial stepparent w/ out of control child? Parenting

My elder stepson is troubled, and I worry for him, for his little brother, and for my 16 month twin daughters.

C, 11, has a really unfortunate combination of a whole lot of very well-earned anger (divorced parents, a disabled father with custody who manages to walk an unpleasant line between utter disinterest and authoritarianism, no social life to speak of after being pulled out of school) and a high degree of impulsivity due to both genetics (his mom is ADHD but medicated) and lack of any experience or help in developing coping mechanisms. We do not have legal custody, so we cannot pursue counseling or medication for him.

He mainly expresses this by routinely bullying and hitting his younger brother (A, 8). If he is within arm's reach of his brother, C is swinging, and if he isn't, he's tossing out insults and threats. I understand sibling rivalry (was one myself) and I get the "boys will be boys" sentiment, but this is way beyond the pale. This is constant, and can range from "whapsh" flails without connecting all the way to denting a refrigerator with his brother's skull or chasing after him swinging with a little Swiss Army micro pocket knife and catching his sleeve and a bit of his arm with it.

A tends to weather this with a remarkable amount of endurance. I've thought more than once that if he thought a belt sander would be his friend he'd be more than happy to go cuddle up to it- which isn't too far off of his relationship with his brother. A wants a friend and is not good at picking up on social cues, gets in his brother's face, and walks off hurt and in tears.

My approach to all of this to this point has been to do my best to draw absolutely clear boundaries for him. Here, in this house, even acting violent is unacceptable. No pretending to hit people. No threats. No tough guy act. If I observe even mild versions of that happening, he gets a time out, both as reminder and to de-escalate. If his behavior is further out of bounds it turns into a discussion and a loss of privileges. In terms of consequences the only card left at that point is calling his dad and sending him home, which is a tough one when my wife already gets so little time with her sons.

It's also really challenging because he shows no remorse, just tough guy bravado BS coupled with attempts to explain away and blame everyone else. I know he doesn't consider the impact of his actions on others ahead of time (see also: he's a kid), but even after he's clocked his brother yet again his emotional response to his brother's pain is annoyance and mockery. He smacked his mom in the face with a pillow hard enough to bloody her with her own glasses, then looked at me and made a finger-twirl-around-the-ear gesture (called her crazy) when she got upset.

My wife's attitude is similar in some ways- she has all the same concerns, but instead of drawing boundaries for C, she tries to maintain them herself by constantly monitoring, redirecting, and separating them. I think it's a valuable idea, but limited as we can't be there monitoring them all the time, oftentimes there's no preceeding spin-up (C goes from zero to swinging without preamble or provocation), and frankly I just don't feel like it teaches him anything- having someone else play Jiminy Cricket for him all the time doesn't ever teach him self control. It is also a constant, exhausting strain on us and on the family as a whole having to try to constaintly keep the blast radius clear lest C go off again.

So now the girls are just getting to the wobbler stage, curious, exploring, getting into everything, and demanding both in terms of incessant emotional terrorism (crying) and physical/emotional/developmental needs. So far I've only seen him push one of them once when she was pawing at his tablet while he played a game. We Had Words and it hasn't happened again, but I am concerned. Even if he doesn't hit them, I do NOT want them to have to deal with the same bullying he heaps on his brother.

Any suggestions? Resources? Help? I'm trying to do right by both him and the rest of my family.

TL;DR - Title.

Submitted March 22, 2016 at 04:23AM by anonymous_villain http://ift.tt/1LCcrgO Parenting

Almost on the eve of 4 months, baby said Fuck Yo Sleep. Fucking help please. Parenting

All the shit about sleep regression at four months. Whatever. I get it. Fine. What the fuck do we DO about it? The only thing I will not accept is flat out walking away and crying it out. I think that's wrong, and unacceptable for an infant with no concept of where they are and why they aren't being comforted. If that is your advice, move on.

Baby slept AMAZING until this point. Typically would go to sleep around 9-10p, sleep until 2-3a, eat, go back down until 5-6a, eat, back down until 8-9a, eat, up for good around 10-1030a. Now, she wasn't much of a daytime napper, only very short 30 min naps, but it was a good tradeoff for sleeping so consistently at night.

SHE IS NOW AWAKE AT LEAST ONCE EVERY HOUR. She will often take only enough boob or bottle to fall back asleep, only to wake again an hour later. YES, this pattern begins DESPITE nursing and taking a full 5-8 oz of of formula ON TOP OF NURSING before she falls asleep around 10-1030pm!!!!! She has never taken a pacifier and of course is offended being offered one now. She is exhausted, angry, does not want to be awake. We are exhausted, bordering on delusion, and do not want to be awake. I am scared to death that offering her a bottle or breast every 45 minutes to an hour (seriously, that is insane, she is literally never getting any deep sleep at night, and consequently is taking a 3-4 hour nap in the middle of the day) is going to ingrain a pattern that I want no part of. It has been two weeks, of the entire family being awake every hour. This is newborn shit.

Please help. I'm feeling really isolated and starting to do things that don't make sense, like put the hot coffee carafe in the lazy suzan, and finding my hairbrush in the refrigerator. My SO is of no help and just gets angry and sleeps elsewhere. He has been very helpful up to this point, but only wants to throw her in the crib and walk away with the current sleep pattern. He's overwhelmed. We both are.

Submitted February 26, 2016 at 07:55PM by wimwood http://ift.tt/1RsJt1x Parenting

Pen ink, white refrigerator... Parenting

Anybody got any ideas? It just so happens to be DD's birthday so I can't try virgin blood. ;)

Submitted January 27, 2016 at 08:03PM by Shannonigans http://ift.tt/1OYQXGE Parenting

Parenting a daredevil? Parenting

My second turns 2 in less than a couple months and has already become a bigger source of stress than my first ever thought of being from a parenting standpoint.

The problem is his lack of any sense of fear. I know this is common in babies, but it's something I've never experienced.

If I turn my back for even a second, he'll drag a pillow to our dinner table, climb on top and dive off. Or climb on and try to dance on our pool table, run on the couch, climb to the top of the refrigerator/kitchen cabinets, climb on our bed and run/jump off, climb out of his bed during his nap time (which he has failed to yet do without hurting himself). The child has literally placed his toy car on our couch and attempted to drive off it. He thinks it's all hilarious.

I feel like my wife and I have been fortunate to avoid any serious spills so far. I also feel like we've prevented several. Being a baby/my child has ensured he has not used previous failed attempts/falls as a learning experience. He cries when we won't let him do some of these things.

This behavior may be incredibly common, I searched through topics briefly before posting. Our first has a personality that is nearly polar opposite and we've never experienced this dynamic.

At this point I'm worried about his safety and my sanity. Is there anything else I can do besides scolding him and doing my best to prevent his untimely demise?

Submitted January 13, 2016 at 08:38PM by Shan_Fu http://ift.tt/200kEhD Parenting

I have offered my children (3 & 5) the same home-cooked meal for the last 4 meals, in order to get them to eat more wholesome food. They have just passed the 24-hour mark without eating anything. How long should this go on? What do I do? Parenting

I generally feed my kids some sort of cheese and grain type main dish (ie, plain cheese pizza, macaroni & cheese, or grilled cheese). That sort of diet needs to stop. I also offer them servings of vegetables (either canned or homemade). They usually don't eat the vegetables unless I literally spoon-feed them.

So, we have decided to offer them the same meal over and over again, without giving them anything else, until they eat it. As in "When I was a kid, if I didn't like what was served, I didn't eat." The meal consists of:

• tuna noodle casserole (pasta, tuna, cream of mushroom soup, cheese, green beans, carrots)
• some homemade apple baked bean type thing. It is very sweet (made with cooked apples, cinnamon, sugar, ketchup and beans) and is actually really good.
• green beans with butter, salt and pepper
• canned mixed fruit

They both ate none of it for lunch yesterday. For dinner, the eldest ate the noodles out of the casserole but not the rest. Today, the youngest ate the mixed fruit. They have both drank some milk, from time to time.

I have offered it for lunch yesterday, dinner yesterday, breakfast today, and lunch today. And by offered, I mean set their place at the table with their tray and drinks and silverware. I have served it hot, cold and warm. The time ranges sitting at the table range from 10 minutes to 1 hour.

Most of the time is spent with them crying that they want something else, and me explaining why they are not getting something else, why this food is good, what each thing is and what it tastes like. I have explained that they can have something else after they eat their food. I have also explained that they can have Halloween candy after they eat their food.

They do have access to other food, in the sense that they could get in the refrigerator and eat something, or open up their Halloween candy, but they haven't done that, so at least I have that going for me.

It is tasty food, definitely not spicy or bitter, and some of it (the baked beans and the fruit) is very sweet.

They haven't complained that they are hungry. After their "lunchtime" or whatever is over, they go back to playing without complaining, even though they complained during the whole lunchtime.

I have thought about just making their "normal" (ie, cheesy) meals, and slowly adding new things into it. But they refuse to eat macaroni & cheese w/ hot dogs cut into it, even though they like both separately.

Am I doing a good thing or a bad thing? Should I keep going with this? For how many more meals? How many more days? Are they really just not that hungry? If they get hungry enough, will they actually eat what's been served to them, or will they whine through the hunger for another day?

EDIT: I forgot to add that after trick or treating, we got together and sorted through their Halloween candy to get rid of duplicates, boring unhealthy stuff (like "candy sticks" which are just relabeled "candy cigarettes"), stuff they know they don't like (Twizzlers) or that I know they won't like (Warheads or Sour Patch Kids), stuff that is really bad for their dental hygiene (jawbreakers, taffy). If we ask them what will happen if they eat too much candy, they will respond with "Get cavities" or "Get fat". After sorting the candy, the youngest proudly showed his mommy what we had done and he said (with prodding) "I made good decisions!". Sooo... they generally get the idea of healthy nutrition and making good decisions. So, this whole not-eating thing really seems like a very long power play (since they won't even eat the mixed fruit).

Submitted October 31, 2015 at 10:39PM by BigBlackCracker http://ift.tt/1PWNrko Parenting

Playing the "missing object game" with a toddler... Parenting

No, nothing educational. Our 15-month-old simply makes things disappear every now and then.

Case in point: he took his socks out of his shoes this morning while they were sitting on the shoe-shelf. I found one on the floor in our laundry closet and just hoped that the other one was in the basket or would be found soon.

I just found the missing sock (at 11pm) in the refrigerator door, wedged next to a bottle of juice. Obviously, the kid isn't strong enough to open the fridge on his own, so he must have ninja'd it in there at some point.

So, does /r/parenting have any good stories along those lines? And when can I expect this to stop, if ever? We've already had to hide the trash can to keep him from throwing all sorts of important things away.

Submitted October 09, 2015 at 08:37AM by confanity http://ift.tt/1N2y3Q0 Parenting

Magna-tiles vs other brands? Parenting

Hi all, My daughter is turning 3 in a few months and we're thinking that she'll like magnatiles (she plays with our refrigerator magnets all the time). I see online that there are a bunch of other brands. Magna-tiles, Picasso Tiles, Magformers, Playmags, Stick-n-Stack and the fancier wooden ones, Tegu. Is there one that you like best or don't recommend for some reason? Do you think they're inter-changeable if we start with a small set and add on with other brands? Thanks!

Submitted October 09, 2015 at 08:06AM by julieveg http://ift.tt/1RwZxPb Parenting

Steps to a Saner School Year Parenting

The new school-year is just a few days old and many parents are already stressed out. They’re physically and mentally exhausted, and it’s just the beginning. They’re dreading all the lunches that need to be shopped for and packed, all the back-to-to school meetings and conferences to attend, the early morning battles of getting the kids off to school on time, and the late nights studying for tests and working on those special projects.

The kids are stressed too. They still have lots of questions and very few answers yet. Will their teachers be hard, easy, inspirational, or boring? Will they be able to do the all the work that’s required and get good grades? Will they make the basketball team, jazz band, and at the top of their worry list, any new friends?

Once upon a time both parents and children looked forward to the start of school. That was when summer vacation meant long days of unscheduled unstructured time trying to find things to do. Usually it meant riding bikes, playing ball with the kids in the neighborhood or going “back to school” for a few hours each day to do craft projects and meet up with other kids at city sponsored day camps held in school playgrounds.

That was before two-parent working families became the norm and school districts had to scale back on all types of services. Suddenly there were no kids left to ride bikes with or community camps to attend. It was also before big business stepped in to fill the gap with all types of specialized camps which guaranteed they would not only keep children safe and occupied during the summer months, but give them a step-up when they returned to school in the fall.

So now, instead of starting the new school-year rested, relaxed, and rearing to go; most parents and kids are already worn out from a summer that that was jammed with places to be, things to do, and hoping the thousands of dollars spent on enrichment programs and sports camps really do translate into better grades and a place on the team.

This is certainly not the best way to begin the new school year - but is there anything parents can do?

There sure is, but it takes the commitment to make some major lifestyle changes and the courage to actually go through with them.

This is the perfect time to start a new family tradition by beginning the school year with a special family celebration honoring the countless hours you put into raising your children and the work and effort they put into school and extracurricular activities.

And perhaps the best gift you can give at this celebration is making a family commitment to spend more time focusing on the lessons families can teach better than anyone else - building character, instilling family values, learning how to love and appreciate who they and others are; talents and flaws included.

Steps for a Saner School Year

Get organized so rather than frantically running round and always playing catch-up you’ll have time to stop and replenish yourself

• Find a big calendar and hang it in the kitchen (the closer to the refrigerator the better) and down all important dates and deadlines.

• Establish an evening routine to make sure all homework is done and projects on schedule, all forms and permission slips are completed, lunches are packed – and just when that next bake sale will be. It’s no fun running out to the 24 hour supermarket getting the ingredients you’ll need to spend the next two hours baking cupcakes. (That’s actually another parenting lesson altogether and rates a blog of its own).

Steps for a Richer Life

• Smaller Lists – Richer Lives Cut back. Fewer activities mean more pleasure and benefits from the ones you choose.

• Set realistic goals based on each child’s unique needs, talents, and abilities based on what’s best for them and not to fulfill your dreams.

• Keep perspective Your kids aren’t doomed to a lifetime of failure if they get a detention, fail a test, or cut from the team. Sure those things make them sad and cause you embarrassment but knowing they can survive setbacks and come back even stronger is a life lesson that is priceless.

• Plan family times that enhance your lives and fit naturally into your daily routines. Stay away from “mandatory” attendance and a set schedule of special events. Every member of your family is already over-burdened with those kinds of demands.

• Take a few minutes each day to touch base privately with your children. It can be as simple as a knock on a door letting them know you love them and asking how their day went or cuddling together while reading a story. Most important - you’re sending the message that you’re always there for them no matter what. In this crazy world all children deserve people who will love and support them unconditionally, where they are safe, unjudged, and accepted no matter what.

Submitted August 29, 2015 at 09:49PM by Goodworks919 http://ift.tt/1fNoGaJ Parenting

Steps to a Saner School Year Parenting

The new school-year is just a few days old and many parents are already stressed out. They’re physically and mentally exhausted, and it’s just the beginning. They’re dreading all the lunches that need to be shopped for and packed, all the back-to-to school meetings and conferences to attend, the early morning battles of getting the kids off to school on time, and the late nights studying for tests and working on those special projects.

The kids are stressed too. They still have lots of questions and very few answers yet. Will their teachers be hard, easy, inspirational, or boring? Will they be able to do the all the work that’s required and get good grades? Will they make the basketball team, jazz band, and at the top of their worry list, any new friends?

Once upon a time both parents and children looked forward to the start of school. That was when summer vacation meant long days of unscheduled unstructured time trying to find things to do. Usually it meant riding bikes, playing ball with the kids in the neighborhood or going “back to school” for a few hours each day to do craft projects and meet up with other kids at city sponsored day camps held in school playgrounds.

That was before two-parent working families became the norm and school districts had to scale back on all types of services. Suddenly there were no kids left to ride bikes with or community camps to attend. It was also before big business stepped in to fill the gap with all types of specialized camps which guaranteed they would not only keep children safe and occupied during the summer months, but give them a step-up when they returned to school in the fall.

So now, instead of starting the new school-year rested, relaxed, and rearing to go; most parents and kids are already worn out from a summer that that was jammed with places to be, things to do, and hoping the thousands of dollars spent on enrichment programs and sports camps really do translate into better grades and a place on the team.

This is certainly not the best way to begin the new school year - but is there anything parents can do?

There sure is, but it takes the commitment to make some major lifestyle changes and the courage to actually go through with them.

This is the perfect time to start a new family tradition by beginning the school year with a special family celebration honoring the countless hours you put into raising your children and the work and effort they put into school and extracurricular activities.

And perhaps the best gift you can give at this celebration is making a family commitment to spend more time focusing on the lessons families can teach better than anyone else - building character, instilling family values, learning how to love and appreciate who they and others are; talents and flaws included.

Steps for a Saner School Year

Get organized so rather than frantically running round and always playing catch-up you’ll have time to stop and replenish yourself

• Find a big calendar and hang it in the kitchen (the closer to the refrigerator the better) and down all important dates and deadlines.

• Establish an evening routine to make sure all homework is done and projects on schedule, all forms and permission slips are completed, lunches are packed – and just when that next bake sale will be. It’s no fun running out to the 24 hour supermarket getting the ingredients you’ll need to spend the next two hours baking cupcakes. (That’s actually another parenting lesson altogether and rates a blog of its own).

Steps for a Richer Life

• Smaller Lists – Richer Lives Cut back. Fewer activities mean more pleasure and benefits from the ones you choose.

• Set realistic goals based on each child’s unique needs, talents, and abilities based on what’s best for them and not to fulfill your dreams.

• Keep perspective Your kids aren’t doomed to a lifetime of failure if they get a detention, fail a test, or cut from the team. Sure those things make them sad and cause you embarrassment but knowing they can survive setbacks and come back even stronger is a life lesson that is priceless.

• Plan family times that enhance your lives and fit naturally into your daily routines. Stay away from “mandatory” attendance and a set schedule of special events. Every member of your family is already over-burdened with those kinds of demands.

• Take a few minutes each day to touch base privately with your children. It can be as simple as a knock on a door letting them know you love them and asking how their day went or cuddling together while reading a story. Most important - you’re sending the message that you’re always there for them no matter what. In this crazy world all children deserve people who will love and support them unconditionally, where they are safe, unjudged, and accepted no matter what.

And that’s the way to a saner more successful school year and life!

Submitted August 29, 2015 at 07:30PM by Goodworks919 http://ift.tt/1JoSQtn Parenting