How to tell my mom(F/53) that I (F/26) don't want her at my graduation? relationships

I walk the stage for my Associate's in May; before I head to a University and start my journey towards an Bachelor's in Mechanical Engineering.

It was hard getting my associates because I struggled with depression (caused, a majority of the time by my psychotic, narcissistic mother and her behavior).

In the course of my lifetime, my mom has physically abused me, emotionally manipulated me, and gaslighted me.

She's ruined every romantic relationship I've ever been in, chasing each guy off within a few short years.

Things she's done to me within the last two years, in chronological order:

• Alienated me from my sibling by pitting us against each other.
• I failed a math class(took the advanced course over the following summer, passed with a B), and she stormed into my room drunk and told me that because I failed I was a disappointment, that I clearly wasn't smart enough for my major, and should just drop out.(April/2016)
• During that same drunken rant, told me that she loved my brother more "because he isn't in her face all the fucking time". (April/2016)
• During that same drunken rant, she also told me if she could, she'd have had my brother first and then gotten sterilized. (April/2016)
• Threw 3 full glass jars of pasta sauce at me, which shatteted as they hit the ground, showering me with broken glass and left me bleeding, taken dry goods out of the pantry and thrown them at me, then proceeded to grab my face, drag me close to her, whisper "I wish I could hurt you", before bouncing my head off of our refrigerator. Why? Because I wanted to use my own money to buy McDonalds(September/2016).
• Stormed into my room, held me down by my ponytail, and punched me around my head, face, and back because my ex hadn't paid her the rent he owed her. (Jan/2017)
• Charged me because I told her I couldn't do something she wanted me to do on her timeline, she caught me by the hair, and ripped a two inch section clean from my scalp. (Thanksgiving/2017)
• When my dad grabbed her to stop her from hitting me, she bit down on his arm, and broke the skin. She pulled away, slapped the gray out of his hair, and then threatened to have us both tossed into jail for touching her. (Thanksgiving/2017)
• Accused me and my dad of having a prolonged, sexual relationship behind her back(he's my biological father)(Thanksgiving/2017).
• Denies having told me to drop out of school, and attempted to gaslight me. (Dec/2017)

Basically, I'm done with her shit. I don't want her in my life anymore, therapy hasn't worked(she just lies to them and makes herself out to be the victim), reasoning hasn't worked, compromise hasn't worked, and I'm done trying. I honestly don't have a need, or a want for her constant, overwhelming drama.

I have plans to go No Contact when I leave for College in Fall/2018, but my Dad still wants to make things work, and wants to uphold the "happy family" facade.

I don't want her at my graduation, especially given that 1) she told me to drop out, and called me stupid. Its clear she doesn't/didn't support my efforts to get an education, 2) she thinks me and my dad are having sex behind her back because he protected me from her beating the shit out of me.

Am I the asshole for not wanting my psychotic, narcissistic mother at my graduation? Is it easier to just invite her and then go no contact when I leave for college? I know there will be some blowback from this, because thats just how she is, and I'll have to live with her until atleast August 2018.

TL;DR: My mom is a psycho. I don't want her at my graduation because I don't want my achievement overshadowed by her drama. I also know she will take all the credit, even though she told me to drop out because I clearly wasn't smart enough. Do I let her come and keep the "happy family" facade in place? Or do I put my foot down? I'll be under the same roof as her until Fall/2018.

Submitted December 13, 2017 at 10:32AM by kait_1291 http://ift.tt/2APGa2t relationships