"How come nobody ever helps me out?" > "No, I don't think that'll work, I just don't like your idea. I'll do it my way instead." > "Why am I the only one who actually does something around here?" (A true story of betrayal and heartbreak) TrueOffMyChest

Mom: "I'm going to build a box down at the mailbox that we can set our trash cans in, so that the dogs don't throw the garbage everywhere!"

Me: "That's a good idea! I'd like to help, because you're an old woman who can't pick a pair of pliers out of a line-up, and I just want to get out of the house and do something today."

Mom: "Thank you! Wait here, I'll go get the supplies from the barn that I rarely ever set foot in, but you and your father work in several times a week."

Me: "Okay! I know it would be much easier if I went to help you pick you your tools and supplies, but I also know that it's pointless to argue with you about your competency. I've got some experience building things like this, so I'll show up later to lend advice and assistance!"

~~A couple hours later~~

Me: "Okay Mom, I'm here! What supplies did you pick out for this project?"

Mom: "Hi, son! I managed to find a set of post hole diggers, half a pallet, (The top half) a single sheet of plywood, a 2x4, and a regular hand saw. Let's go get some posts and cinderblocks, and we can get to work!"

Me: "Okay! But wouldn't it be much quicker and easier to use a power saw? I know it would be hard on your arthritis, but that's why I, a young man with experience in power tools, have come to help you with this project!"

Mom: "Maybe your father gets that privilege, but I don't." (Her actual words)

Me: "?????"

Mom: "Come on, let's go get some posts!"

~~At the Post Pile~~

Me: "So, you're making a box, right?"

Mom: "Yes, a box! We will set our trash cans in it, so that the dogs do not tip them over."

Me: "Cool! Just to be clear, this box is going to have four sides, correct?"

Mom: "That is correct! Four sides and a floor."

Me: "Well if that's the case, then why did you only get enough wood for one side of the box? You brought the top half of a pallet, and a sheet of plywood. This is not enough wood to build a box with four sides!"

Mom: "I am going to build a box."

Me: "Yes, I am aware, and would like to help you build the best box possible! How do you plan to build this box?"

Mom: "By building a box."

Me: "That's a good plan! What will your box look like?"

Mom: "It will look like a box."

Me: "I like this idea! I think it would be a good idea to simply plant four corner posts, then nail posts horizontally between them. These horizontal posts will not only be too high for the dogs to jump over, but they will also help to keep the garbage cans from tipping over! We have used this design in the past, and it was proven successful."

Mom: "It will be a box."

Me: "It is obvious to me that you have no fucking idea what the hell you're doing, and are just making this shit up as you go along. I will continue to follow you, because I care about your well-being and want to make sure you don't chop off your toes while digging the post holes."

(We had this conversation 2-3 times)

~~After loading up the posts~~

Mom: "We need to find some cinderblocks to set the box on top of! However, there are only two of them here! We should look all over the yard and find more."

Me: I have found some decorative bricks, which were only being used to keep the dog from sleeping underneath the porch! They are slightly shorter than the other two cinderblocks, however, I believe that this may be to our advantage. It is my opinion that if the platform is slightly askew, then rainwater will simply run off instead of sitting and rotting the wood."

Mom: "no"

Me: "I'm sorry, I was simply trying to offer my opinion. Let me explain further: If the platform is level, then rainwater will sit on top of it. If water is in contact with wood for a long period of time, the wood will start rotting much quicker than normal. If we build the platform at a slight angle, then rainwater will run off instead of sitting on top of the wood. This is also the same reason why our roof-"

Mom: "no"

Kenny: "I have found two extra cinderblocks! Now we can build the box."

~~After planting the four corner posts~~

Me: "We have finished planting the four corner posts! Now what would you like to do?"

Mom: "Let's put some fence around it."

Me: "That is a good idea! A fence would be simple to build around these posts, and would prove effective at keeping dogs out of our garbage."

Mom: "Only problem is, the fence would be too high for the garbagemen to lift the cans over..."

Me: "That is not a problem! The beautiful thing about fences, is the fact that they can be any height you want! We could simply place it at hip-level. The barbed wire would keep the dogs out, and it would be easy enough to lift cans over."

Mom: "How do we put in a door? I have a rack from an old refrigerator that would make a nice door. I believe I saw some rusty hinges in the barn earlier, should I go get them?"

Me: "The rusty hinges would be greatly ineffective for multiple reasons. We could make the fence any height we want, it's no problem. I highly doubt the dogs could jump it, because they are dogs. They don't do a whole lot of jumping."

Mom: "I could put a staple around one of the rungs in this refrigerator rack, and then it would swing! Yes, this is a good idea!"

Kenny: "Hey, you know what? If we put the fence there, it wouldn't be hard to make any height that we wanted."

Mom: "This is a good idea! Thank you, Kenny!"

Me: "wat"

~~Once Kenny returned with the chicken wire (I have no idea where he got it~~

Mom: "Son, help stretch this wire around the posts! It must be very tight, so that the dogs do not dig underneath it!"

Me: "Mom, it does not need to be tight. There is already a platform, which is far too heavy for a dog to flip. Even if it could, the fence itself would prove an impossible obstacle in spilling the cans."

Mom: "Yes, the fence must be tighter! Pull, children, tug with all your might!"

~~Stapling in the wire~~

Me: "I have applied a fencing staple to this wire, so that it shall be held in place!"

Mom: "No, this is incorrect! The staple is bent, and the wire around it is smashed! Hand the hammer to me, an elderly woman with severe arthritis who needs help putting on her boots - I shall be able to hammer in these staples much better than my twenty-year-old son!"

~~Five minutes later~~

Mom: "Why am I the only one hammering? There are two pairs of wire pliers, and a staple puller! They all have flat sides, you should be hammering as well!"

Me: "I was hammering a short while ago, but I had the hammer taken from me because I was doing it incorrectly."

~~Later, after I got sent home~~

Mom: "I had to build a box all by myself, and cook supper! I am so exhausted, because I have been working nonstop with no help and have not sat down all day."

Me: "Mother, perhaps you should let me handle the pork chops! You should lie down and rest."

Mom: "pork chop may burn. i cook"

Me: "Fuck my life"

~~Based on a true story~~

Submitted March 11, 2017 at 08:15AM by PM_UR_FAV_HENTAI http://ift.tt/2mvnLme TrueOffMyChest