About 10 years ago I was working as 911 operator. Slow night average calls. People getting boned by skeletons, goastes haunting refrigerators, and one guy got his dick stuck in his cats ass he was like "help guise I was like resident or business he say" petco" I say what emergency he say "fucking cat dick stuck won't cum out" I sat hold on help is on the way. Then I hear yelling and scratching turns out man is kill. Cat come on other line and this is when chills run up my penis. He say "meow". Right about that time I lost my shit. I ran to my car but my car wouldn't start. Cut to static. Decide to run but my legs won't start. Decide to crawl but realize the floor is lava. Then everything turns to blood. I wake up. Fast forward 9 seconds. I'm still awake. Fast forward 1 year. Quit job as 911 operator stress was too much. Now I'm a murder detective. Felt like I needed break. One night get call. Heavy breathing I say whose there. More breathing then hang up. I say weird but chalk it up to coincidence. Call back 9 weeks later same breath. I recognize that breath instantly chills shoot down my balls. It cat. I thought cat was prison for life for kill man. Oh no guise he's coming for me. I go home Crack open beer open reddit. Browsing and fall asleep. 30 seconds later still asleep. 2 hours knock on door. Open up there is cat. Then I realize....................... I never owned a home. I'm homeless. Whose house am I in and why is this cat following me who am I. I finish my beer and go back to cardboard box.
Submitted November 22, 2015 at 12:25PM by lunarwormhole http://ift.tt/1LtyYVQ shittynosleep
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