First off, I love this woman. She’s loving, beautiful, and smart.
When we met, we lived in neighboring towns, but she moved an hour away when she began law school two years ago. Everyone warned me that law school may make her distant, but, surprisingly, she remains devoted to our relationship with frequent phone calls and visits. I am the one having issues with our relationship.
I’m about to take a stab in the dark in attempt to explain what’s going on in my head. When she visits, I’m beyond nervous, which combined with my stressful job can put me over the edge. Also, I can be pretty anal retentive about things; when she rearranges my house, as little as putting the milk on the wrong side of the refrigerator, I get annoyed at her. My guess for the reason behind my unhappiness in our relationship is that I’m dealing with some inner turmoil. I’m dealing with some trauma from a few years ago and the relationship may be digging some of the negative emotions up.
My girlfriend is a great listener and seems willing to make any changes. The thing is, I don’t know what changes would make me happy. I can tell her that I need X, Y, and, Z. And because she is awesome, she will give X, Y, and Z, but there’s a chance I could still be unsettled.
I’ve told her that I’m not sure whether I want to continue the relationship. The last thing she said to me was that she is devastated, feels she did something wrong, and just wants to help me through whatever I'm going through. She agreed to give me some space and is probably waiting by her phone. It just kills me that I’m hurting her and I fear that I’m going to continue to hurt her if I were to try and work on our relationship. Yet, I’m afraid to lose her.
By the way, this is the longest and healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. A couple of months ago, I was certain I was spending my life with her. What the heck is going on with me?
TLDR: My girlfriend is wonderful. I have issues. I’m not sure if I should continue our relationship because of my emotional state.
Submitted November 22, 2015 at 07:50AM by theblueandgray http://ift.tt/1O9oMYW relationships
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