Jane doesn't want to be my friend. UnsentLetters

Jane-

I was really excited to meet you. It was cool that it was possible to make a friend so similar to me. However, there was a sinking feeling your boyfriend was kind of pushing you into tagging along with us, but I wrote it off as paranoia.

There was instantly a tense atmosphere when you joined our chat server, since you just posted a sad emoji...? It was...odd. But, thinking you were just a little awkward, I excitedly pressed on. It felt like I was talking to a brick wall, or rather, a refrigerator that opened itself mid conversation to envelop me in cold.

Then you just...randomly quit the server? Then came back, saying "you were asked to". Then that you weren't happy to be there. I mean...cool, okay. Sorry your boyfriend is so pushy but...it was never the end of the world for me for you to not be interested? You're not a celebrity and you kind of started acting like you thought you were. It was odd. I said you didn't have to do anything you didn't want to, you replied with a "mmmmm", my boyfriend make a quick excuse and we just stopped responding. The cringe was physically painful...

Your boyfriend also sent us your texts between you two, which was odd. I feel like those should be personal and we shouldn't have seen them. But hey, since I did and you're not reading this anyway, I'll respond here! Sorry we were too formal (you didn't like the way we speak??? Jfc) and seemed like no-fun people. You didn't seem fun yourself. You weren't even trying to pretend to be friendly.

I don't know, it's a bummer. It hurt even though I know that like...you INSTANTLY acted like you disliked us, even before we spoke a word to you. So I could've done literally nothing differently. I imagine it's really misdirected anger at your boyfriend for being excited about making a gaming group that isn't just you two, but...I guess I wish I knew the exact reason? So I could at least learn from this experience. All I learned was that just because you have a lot in common with someone, doesn't mean they'll be interested in speaking with you. Even if they have no friends...some people are just like that. And I can't help it.

It's your choice at the end of the day. I support it completely. We are not even going to hang out with your boyfriend as 3 people, or bother trying to get our friends together. It's kind of sad when I think about it that way, you damaged your boyfriend's potential friendship and work relationships. However it isn't our responsibility for us to tolerate his shitty girlfriend...but the thing is? We have other friends who are more well adjusted. We don't want to cause drama between you two, and it seemed our mere presence was enough for that.

By the way, sorry for how I talk but English isn't even my first language. I guess I don't want to be even second degree friends with someone that isn't cool with that. It gives me 'ignorant bigoted person' vibes. I don't want to risk even having to interact with you...so it's a hard pass from me.

So like, I totally respect that you don't owe me friendship. I guess I was just confused as to why you would even join the chat if you were going to act like that. We're people too? You treated us not like people. Eh. I wish you had at least given us a try, I think you would've found we're not as formal as you think!

By the way, even though I learned English when I was 7, at least I know what an ampersand is and don't think saying 'ampersand' makes you an overly formal person...

Guess I'll never see you again, shame. M <3

Submitted September 29, 2017 at 03:00PM by rantthrow123 http://ift.tt/2yxgMwb UnsentLetters

I love you, Mom. I just want you to be better. UnsentLetters

Mom, I love you, and I respect you. It is because of this love and respect I have for you that I need to tell you the truth. You will dislike everything I have to say, you will get upset at me and everyone else, but you need to hear it.

1) You need to see a psychiatrist, and you need to be in therapy. Your depression has completely taken over your life and who you are. When I talk to you, I don't feel like I'm speaking to my mother. I feel like you are someone just wearing the skin of my mother. But you aren't always like this. Every so often the real you peaks out, and it gives me hope. It's how I still love you.

2) You are incredibly selfish. You said you wanted to move because you don't like the neighborhood anymore, and you threw multiple hissy fits over this until Dad cimplied. And what do you do now that he is working on setting everything up to put the house on the market? You decide you don't want to move anymore. Why? Because Dad wants to keep the refrigerator in the house, while you wanted to bring it to the new house. So you have decided you no longer want to move, after you told all of us kids and got us excited. You only did this because you wanted to spite Dad. There is no other reason. You wouldn't even make an attempt to have a rational discussion over it. The worst part is that this isn't the only example of you being selfish to a ridiculous degree just to spite Dad, it's just the most recent one.

3) It is completely disgusting how you talk about [little sister]. She hears it, too, even if you think she doesn't. She is a young teenager and she is having an incredibly rough time. You are making her life worse. You call her a bitch multiple times a day, you complain constantly about every interaction you have with her. You berate her constantly for the exact same things you do to her. You have turned her into a boogeyman, every problem you have lately you blame on her. She doesn't feel like she is even a part of this family. She doesn't feel like you are her mother. She genuinely wishes she could die, just to get away from this horrible situation you have made for her.

4) You completely robbed me of my childhood. From as early as I can remember anything, you used me as your one and only emotional outlet. You caused me such an incredible amount of stress as a child, and you still do. You are the reason I attempted suicide when I was 12. You are the reason I wish I had succeeded.

5) The reason you and Dad don't get along is because you pushed him away, not the other way around. He wants to be close to you, but you refuse to be. It is heartbreaking for him.

I so wish that you could read this and actually think about what your actions have caused. I so wish that you wouldn't just get upset when you read this, and instead think. I wish you would talk and engage in dialogue instead of just shouting at people.

I love you, Mom. I really do. Despite all of the pain you have caused me, I love you. I want you to be better. I want you to be happy.

Submitted September 17, 2017 at 12:09AM by JoannaNotSoNewsom http://ift.tt/2jybRZ7 UnsentLetters

Was it really not right? UnsentLetters

It's been a year since you called it off. I still keep trying to work out what it was you didn't like about us, we had all the makings for something good, and you dropped it ..just to see what else was out there?

Man, it was one of the lowest points in my life. Recovering from being sick took months, then suddenly I had to find a new job, rent a new apartment, all while dealing with all this shitty sadness you heaped on top. You ripped my foundations from underneath me, while I was away from home and family in a foreign country.

You called it a break but very quickly I realised I could not be back with someone who could drop me so coldly in my time of need. When the going got tough you just iced me out.

What was really so wrong with us? How could you hold on to that feeling of unease and unhappiness in a relationship for so long without telling me? To find out you had talked about it with other people way before even discussing it with me really knocked me down. You hit me out of nowhere. I just wish you'd talked about it with me long before.

I was hospitalised again last week, and this time when they asked me who my emergency contact was I was pleased that I had a shortlist of people I could rely on, they were the ones I stayed for in the end. But I was sad that I couldn't put down that one person I had loved and been supported by for so many years. Lying in that hospital bed waiting for blood tests and examinations thinking about the last time. That person who had rushed over after work to bring me a care package. Waiting with a hot chocolate while I collected my discharge papers. Who held me so tightly when I was out, who'd had that fear in their eyes that they'd almost lost me. I thought we shared more than just the refrigerator.

I'm stronger now, by the way. In a wayy better place than I was a year and a half ago. Last week was just a minor setback on the road to recovery. I guess you won't know about any of those things, as we don't talk anymore. But I do hope you're okay too. They all say you're smoking a lot, making a habit of that stuff's not good for you man.

Your name slips out of my mouth sometimes like a vocal tic. For a while I just stopped kind of talking, so it wouldn't slip out anymore, but that didn't work. Keeping it bottled up doesn't help. Not talking is what got us to this point in the first place after all.

For now I guess we'll continue avoiding each other and staying to the other side of the room when we turn up to the same party. But maybe we'll pick up the conversation again some time. I just want to understand what went wrong so I can avoid this heartbreak again.

Submitted March 24, 2017 at 10:08PM by anonymo19284943 http://ift.tt/2nQhhA4 UnsentLetters

Was it really not right? UnsentLetters

It's been a year since you called it off. I still keep trying to work out what it was you didn't like about us, we had all the makings for something good, and you dropped it ..just to see what else was out there?

Man, it was one of the lowest points in my life. Recovering from being sick took months, then suddenly I had to find a new job, rent a new apartment, all while dealing with all this shitty sadness you heaped on top. You ripped my foundations from underneath me, while I was away from home and family in a foreign country.

You called it a break but very quickly I realised I could not be back with someone who could drop me so coldly in my time of need. When the going got tough you just iced me out.

What was really so wrong with us? How could you hold on to that feeling of unease and unhappiness in a relationship for so long without telling me? To find out you had talked about it with other people way before even discussing it with me really knocked me down. You hit me out of nowhere. I just wish you'd talked about it with me long before.

I was hospitalised again last week, and this time when they asked me who my emergency contact was I was pleased that I had a shortlist of people I could rely on, they were the ones I stayed for in the end. But I was sad that I couldn't put down that one person I had loved and been supported by for so many years. Lying in that hospital bed waiting for blood tests and examinations thinking about the last time. That person who had rushed over after work to bring me a care package. Waiting with a hot chocolate while I collected my discharge papers. Who held me so tightly when I was out, who'd had that fear in their eyes that they'd almost lost me. I thought we shared more than just the refrigerator.

I'm stronger now, by the way. In a wayy better place than I was a year and a half ago. Last week was just a minor setback on the road to recovery. I guess you won't know about any of those things, as we don't talk anymore. But I do hope you're okay too. They all say you're smoking a lot, making a habit of that stuff's not good for you man.

Your name slips out of my mouth sometimes like a vocal tic. For a while I just stopped kind of talking, so it wouldn't slip out anymore, but that didn't work. Keeping it bottled up doesn't help. Not talking is what got us to this point in the first place after all.

For now I guess we'll continue avoiding each other and staying to the other side of the room when we turn up to the same party. But maybe we'll pick up the conversation again some time. I just want to understand what went wrong so I can avoid this heartbreak again.

Submitted March 24, 2017 at 10:08PM by anonymo19284943 http://ift.tt/2nQhhA4 UnsentLetters

To the people in my mind at this moment UnsentLetters

1 I do not think we should continue, despite all rational thought telling me I need to stick things out. I cannot deal in the same levels of solitude you thrive in. Perhaps I do not deserve the I the Myers-Briggs assigns me and perhaps the lonely figure I cut doesn't feel as romantic as you appreciate it to, but I need to interact with a world beyond you. The venn intersection of our interests wanes as you insist on highlighting the few points that lie there. My goals slowly misalign from yours as I prove I'm unready for this maturity.

Or maybe it's fear of commitment. That's always been my MO.

2 We consciously pretend to be two other people over hours and hours of communication. It's probably an unhealthy coping mechanism, but I truly want to be more like the person I'm pretending to be. Part of me hopes you're trying to be the person you're masquerading as, or that you're more like him already. That would probably shut up the nagging thought in the back of my brain that I'm coping with my life poorly- effectively using a stranger to live a personality I can't accomplish.

We probably should have picked two characters not in a relationship though, since this is going to turn weirdly sexual and I'm not going to want to cut things short. While pretend is grand, I'm not physically interested in someone of your true identity, biologically assigned or otherwise.

3 It's been four years. Get out of my head.

4 I don't want to screw. I just want someone else to eat the baked goods in my refrigerator. Unbeknownst to you, you've been my connection to the living, breathing world for a year now. The situation has been misinterpreted as expected, but I do enjoy your company if only to remember that I don't live isolated in front of a computer screen.

Or I'm clingy as all hell, one of the two.

5 I'm not invincible to your less than subtle and less than appropriate flirting. I just get off on knowing my lack of charm incites someone twice my age. My fear of dying alone lessens every time you drunkenly say "sorry, that was inappropriate". And it's nice to have an adult in my life I'm not related to for those moments where my washing machine has flooded the laundry room or an outlet isn't working. I'm a millennial, I thrive on instruction, and I like having a real person to panic to over the phone instead of a youtube video.

Your relationship with your spouse (in light of their knowledge of your communication with me), is so strange though.

6 You're a reminder of the romantic life I used to lead. It was nice seeing you. Yes, your dog tags still hang on my lamp. Oh, you still have my scarf. Yes, it's funny how we always find each other in exotic places, wondering how our lives coincided since we talk little and post our whereabouts on social media less. Someone suggested we are the true soulmates, our lives forever grazing against each other. One day we may realizes this and travel as two, instead of one.

We have little in common though, it wouldn't work out.

Submitted February 12, 2017 at 01:09AM by 131311 http://ift.tt/2khXymw UnsentLetters

I love you, but fuck your drinking problem. UnsentLetters

You guys are my parents, and because of that for some reason I love you. I can't stand the people you have become. I miss the lively, happy, motivated people you used to be. Who used to actually try to better themselves. Normally, you guys are pretty good about keeping your drinking to the evenings. You have your bottle, or two bottles or sometimes even three bottles of wine between the two of you in one night. Or you have a bottle of wine and then proceed to split half a bottle of whatever hard liquor you have picked up, typically vodka. Or you have a few cans of Steel Reserve High Gravity each. Usually, on weeknights, it's just wine or beer. This week however, I came home on Wednesday to find a nearly empty bottle of Pinnacle in the freezer that I know I didn't see on Monday. I also came home yesterday to see a bottle of Maker's Mark, already opened. And today, the bottles of wine were opened around 4. You know, I wouldn't give a shit so much if you didn't have your 24 year old autistic son, my brother, living with you. When we moved into this new apartment, he specifically grabbed a bottle of wine from the case of wine that was your Christmas bonus, ran on to the patio and smashed it into the cement. And you spanked him for it. And freaked out about he broke your bottle of wine. Dad, you weigh almost 300 pounds, and it is all in your swollen stomach. Your face is red all of the time and when you drink, you look like a tomato. Mom, you're a type 2 diabetic. You said you weren't going to drink when you first came out of your coma, and yet here you are sucking on the bottle just as much as dad is. Your face is also red. When you guys drink, I can hear you through the walls always. I can smell it on you when I'm a few feet away. And when you drink, your patience with my brother is even shorter than normal. You yell at him for doing things like going into the refrigerator instead of trying to ask what he wants. You yell at him for standing up and bouncing around yet you hardly ever take him out. You make him eat at the dinner table with his iPad while you eat dinner in the living room watching TV drinking the days away. It wasn't this bad before. You both have always been drinkers, but over these last few years, it has gotten worse. I don't remember the last time you guys didn't drink every single night. I really wouldn't care if it wasn't for the fact that I see my brother, an innocent angel who I love so dearly, hurting on the inside and he can't tell others what he's struggling with. It breaks my heart to say this, but when I see you interact with him it almost appears like you guys resent him for being how he is, that you wish he was what you believe to call "normal", instead of trying to work with him on his communication skills and behaviors. I can try to help him with these things, but it takes consistency and it's hard for me to watch progress I make with him get undone in an instant. And of course, if I dare try to bring this up, you'll throw me under the bus for smoking pot. The difference though, is that I don't have a disabled son I should be taking care of. And you know the fact that drinking daily will do far more long term damage than smoking daily could ever do. So I spoil my brother rotten. I buy him things since you won't, I take him out when I can, I tell him constantly I love him, and I know he appreciates it. I will make damn sure he always knows that Sissy is here for him. And as I type this, tears fall at the thought of not having parents in ten or fifteen years because they couldn't stop drinking. I love you, but fuck your drinking problem.

Submitted January 26, 2015 at 10:18AM by kreeestah707 http://ift.tt/1BcCiju UnsentLetters