How eating a bag of chips can lead to relapse.. NoFap

I know what you're thinking.

"What the hell is this click-bait title?"

"What do chips have to do with masturbation?"

While it sounds ridiculous, it actually makes perfect sense given some proper context. I'd like to share a story with you about bad decisions, and how they can really fuck you up in more ways than just NoFap.

 

Bad Decision 1

This morning started around 12 in the afternoon for me. This already isn't normal because I usually get up around 8 or 9 in the morning and eat my breakfast. What added those extra 3 hours? Urges. I had some pretty strong ones waking up. Though I used a tactic I'd been using for the past couple weeks that has worked wonders. Simply telling myself I'm above porn and masturbation, and that I no longer partake in such actions. I yell it at myself, basically shaming my conscious for thinking of such a thing. The urge died immediately, as they usually do, but then comes the first bad decision.. fantasizing. Instead of getting up, I decided to fantasize a little bit and previous sexual encounters. Not necessarily bad in my honest opinion, so long as you're able to control yourself NOT to masturbate or pull up some porn, but I digress and I'm adding it to the list of bad choices for today.

 

Bad Decision 2

So after some fantasizing and a brief nap, I finally got out of bed at 12 in the afternoon. I walk into the kitchen and start grabbing my regular breakfast meals, an apple, banana, cup of yogurt and cereal/oatmeal. Except, I only grab the apple and banana. I rationalized in my head that it'd be a bother to grab the bowl and milk for some cereal, and I had already closed the refrigerator before grabbing a yogurt, so I'll eat the other two items later on. So now I'm breaking my normal routine of breakfast, which probably had something to do with the earlier decision to not wake up on time.

 

Bad Decision 3

I take a shower with the plan to head out to a nature trail, shop a bit and pick up some much needed groceries for lunch. At this time, it's 2PM, an hour past the time I usually ate my lunch of 2 pb&j sandwiches. Not usually an issue, except I didn't have anymore bread, which was why I needed to go to the store. After getting dressed, I didn't leave the apartment. I started procrastinating.

"Do I really need those clothes?"

"It's pretty late now, should I really go to the nature trail?"

"Do I really need to buy that bread TODAY..?"

The first two thoughts were valid, I don't NEED to spend money on new clothes, and while nature trails are how I de-stress, the groceries, as I found out later were a necessity. Why? Well, because it lead to..

 

Bad Decision 4

I was hungry. I needed to eat something, but my regular lunch was out of the question since I didn't have the bread for it. So, I instead opened my pantry to see a bag of lay's chips. I grabbed the bag and started pouring. This was a particularly bad decision because for the past few days, I had really buckled down on a diet change. No more junk food, no more unnecessary sweets, just healthy choices. As I poured the chips, I could feel a little conversation going on in my head.

"You really shouldn't be doing this. You've done so well so far with avoiding this type of stuff.."

"But you're hungry and don't have anything else right now.."

The chips were eaten, and as if my body was trying to punish me, I felt scummy both physically and mentally, though only slightly. It's like I could feel this chips sitting in my stomach, and the fact that I had eaten them was in the back of my head. Next came the chocolate cake. It expired on the 17th this month, and since I already ate the chips, I may as well finish these last 3 slices and get them out the pantry. Same consequence, I felt them sitting in my stomach and I felt kind of bad about breaking my diet change thus far.

 

Bad Decision #5

From this point, I wasn't going anywhere anymore. I wasn't hungry anymore, so the immediate need to go grocery shopping died. I decided to save my money on those clothes, and I wasn't feeling well and eager enough anymore to go walking. So, I sat at my desk and watched some YouTube and played Dead by Daylight (great game!). Then, the urge hit. The voice I had relied on all the previous times to tell me I'm above such actions wasn't as loud as it usually was. It was quieter and no where near as forceful. Almost like a slight and weak suggestion rather a strong and confident fact. Taking advantage of the now weakened resolve, I pulled my laptop onto my bed, and relapsed, twice.

 

Lesson Learned? After coming down from the dopamine high we all know so well, I thought to myself what lead to my relapse, and reflected back on the day I had had. It then hit me all at once, like an "Ah-Ha!" moment. I gradually throughout the day made a bad choice one after the other. I consciously told myself why I didn't feel the need to do each task or routine I'd normally do.

1. Fantasizing - "I'm not going to masturbate, so I'll just enjoy these thoughts for a little then get my day started. Consequence - While I didn't relapse, I ended up nodding off again and sleeping for another 3 hours instead of getting my normal routine started.

2. 50/50 Breakfast - "I'll just eat the rest of my breakfast later on." Consequence - Though I did eat the cereal and yogurt later on in the day, it conflicted with my usual lunch time. Had I just eaten everything at once like normal, I wouldn't had sat down at my desk thinking about the necessity to go out while eating it.

3. Chips or Nah? - "I don't have my bread. A man has to eat.." Consequence - Knowing full well of the positive streak I had started with changing my food choices, I still decided to indulge in the chips "Just this one time". We all know how that phrase goes, leading to..

4. Cake "I already ate the chips. Plus these expired 3 days ago, may as well eat then instead of just throwing them out." Consequence - Feeling like shit after the terrible lunch of chips and cake I just had. No more motivation to leave the house.

5. The Quiet Urge "I've already broken my eating streak.." Consequence - Even though the voice tried to tell me no, it had been hindered through all of my previous bad decisions, and I followed through with the deed.

 

People, please understand. Both in your journey of NoFap and whatever other habits you're trying to form in order to better yourself and your life, bad decisions are dangerous. They may start out small, but they create a domino effect throughout your day, and by the time the dust settles, you'll have ruined your entire day, and if allowed the rest of your week, the month and maybe even the year. Consciously tell yourself that while this ONE bad choice may not seem to bad on it's on, it'll lessen your resolve to better yourself ever so slightly. Just enough to help you make the next bad choice.

 

So What Now?

Simple. For me, I need to go clean myself up, get dressed and take my ass to the store. While it's late and I don't WANT to go anywhere now, I'm much more aware of the decisions I'll be making from now on. It'll suck to head out so late, but if I don't do it now, I may wake up in the morning and convince myself to wait and go later in the day, leading to more bad choices that very well may lead to yet another relapse.

BE AWARE YOU GUYS!

Submitted November 21, 2017 at 06:07AM by The_KnewMe http://ift.tt/2jJnqgD NoFap

I don't have any cold water. How can I make up for cold showers? NoFap

In the past all I have done is put water bottles in the refrigerator and pour them over my body. I don't know if this is to the same effect because it only lasts a short time.

Submitted August 02, 2017 at 08:18PM by codered1245 http://ift.tt/2u4ffjj NoFap

[Text] Your Guide On How To Be More Confident NoFap

NoFap Is NOT Going To Be Enough. You have to take action to improve long-term.

Self-confident people are admired by others and inspire confidence in others. They face their fears head-on and tend to be risk takers. They know that no matter what obstacles come their way, they have the ability to get past them. Self-confident people tend to see their lives in a positive light even when things aren't going so well, and they are typically satisfied with and respect themselves.

Wouldn't it be amazing to have this kind of self-confidence, every day of the week? Guess what? You can.

"Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." -Barrie Davenport

It comes down to one simple question: If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anybody else to?

Try some of the tips listed below. Don't just read them and put them on the back burner. Really begin to practice them daily, beginning today. You might have to fake it at first and merely appear to be self-confident, but eventually you will begin to feel the foundation of self-confidence grow within you. With some time and practice (this is not an overnight phenomenon), you too can be a self-confident person, both inside and out, whom others admire and say "Yes!" to.

Stay away from negativity and bring on the positivity

This is the time to really evaluate your inner circle, including friends and family. This is a tough one, but it's time to seriously consider getting away from those individuals who put you down and shred your confidence. Even a temporary break from Debbie Downer can make a huge difference and help you make strides toward more self-confidence.

Be positive, even if you're not feeling it quite yet. Put some positive enthusiasm into your interactions with others and hit the ground running, excited to begin your next project. Stop focusing on the problems in your life and instead begin to focus on solutions and making positive changes.

Change your body language and image

This is where posture, smiling, eye contact, and speech slowly come into play. Just the simple act of pulling your shoulders back gives others the impression that you are a confident person. Smiling will not only make you feel better, but will make others feel more comfortable around you. Imagine a person with good posture and a smile and you'll be envisioning someone who is self-confident.

Look at the person you are speaking to, not at your shoes--keeping eye contact shows confidence. Last, speak slowly. Research has proved that those who take the time to speak slowly and clearly feel more self-confidence and appear more self-confident to others. The added bonus is they will actually be able to understand what you are saying.

Go the extra mile and style your hair, give yourself a clean shave, and dress nicely. Not only will this make you feel better about yourself, but others are more likely to perceive you as successful and self-confident as well. A great tip: When you purchase a new outfit, practice wearing it at home first to get past any wardrobe malfunctions before heading out.

Don't accept failure and get rid of the negative voices in your head

Never give up. Never accept failure. There is a solution to everything, so why would you want to throw in the towel? Make this your new mantra. Succeeding through great adversity is a huge confidence booster.

Low self-confidence is often caused by the negative thoughts running through our minds on an endless track. If you are constantly bashing yourself and saying you're not good enough, aren't attractive enough, aren't smart enough or athletic enough, and on and on, you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are becoming what you are preaching inside your head, and that's not good. The next time you hear that negativity in your head, switch it immediately to a positive affirmation and keep it up until it hits the caliber of a self-confidence boost.

Be prepared

Learn everything there is to know about your field, job, presentation--whatever is next on your "to conquer" list. If you are prepared, and have the knowledge to back it up, your self-confidence will soar.

For tough times, when all else fails: Create a great list

Life is full of challenges and there are times when it's difficult to keep our self-confidence up. Sit down right now and make a list of all the things in your life that you are thankful for, and another list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing. Once your lists are complete, post them on your refrigerator door, on the wall by your desk, on your bathroom mirror--somewhere where you can easily be reminded of what an amazing life you have and what an amazing person you really are. If you feel your self-confidence dwindling, take a look at those lists and let yourself feel and be inspired all over again by you.

Submitted April 22, 2017 at 02:10PM by adsadasdasd34 http://ift.tt/2pobyST NoFap

Please read. This is specially for porn addicts like us. (Very long research) guarantee to HELP! NoFap

Working with Addictions and Compulsions

Jana Squires Flake, M.Ed., LPC

As I have studied various therapists and brain researchers and worked with clients over the years, I have come to some conclusions about addictions and compulsions that I wish to share. Brain research has shed more light on this subject in the last few years than ever before and I believe this knowledge is the key to overcoming these challenges. This paper is written to help in understanding these concepts and to aid in promoting personal growth. It is my hope that this information will assist in the journey to "build new pathways" to happiness. - Jana S. Flake

In 1996 I began applying the principles found in Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior, by Jeffrey M. Schwartz, M.D. to my clients with Obsessive Compulsive behaviors. In 2002 Dr. Schwartz wrote another book, The Mind & the Brain, The Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force, wherein he examined his Brain Lock program in light of recent brain research. In addition to his work, Drs. Daniel J. Siegel and William Glasser are also quoted. These are the brightest minds in America today with regard to understanding the brain. When we see how our brain (the structural organ) is wired and how our mind (the volitional dimension) can create new wiring for a healthier, happier life, we can gain some control over our behaviors.

Four Basic Concepts

There are four basic concepts that will be useful to understand before one begins to work on overcoming addictions or compulsive behaviors.

1. What fires together, wires together

Obviously, if we are trying to overcome an addiction/compulsion, we want it to go away. Addictive/compulsive behaviors are the way our brain/body has of reacting to certain stimuli, whether external or internal. But we want that reaction to stop. We need a new reaction. As we understand how neural pathways are formed, we can learn how to make new pathways. That is the essence of this therapeutic approach. A person who has responded to stress or stimuli the same way over a long period of time, builds a neural pathway so that when the stimuli presents itself, the brain/body automatically goes to that response. "What fires together wires together" is the most basic and important tenant of this philosophy.

Daniel Siegel, M.D. in his book, The Developing Brain, states: "If a pattern has been stimulated in the past, the probability of activating a similar profile in the future is enhanced. If the pattern is fired repeatedly, the probability of future activation is further increased. The increased probability is created by changes in the synaptic connections within the network of neurons." p. 24.

For example, if we become stressed, agitated, angry, or upset and take a drink of alcohol or view pornography, the physiological changes that take place (i.e., sense of euphoria or sexual stimulation) reduce the anxiety or stress. After that has happened repeatedly, the cells wire together so that when we experience the stressor again, the brain will naturally fire on that pathway toward drinking or viewing pornography. The more it occurs, the stronger the synaptic connections become in the brain. Those connections can become so strongly linked that it takes very little to get them firing.

"Cellular-memory groups can be activated without our seeing or hearing something from the outside world. The information contained in a cellular-memory group may be activated independently from any internal or external sensory stimulus. This is called imagination. Once a person has used Internet pornography as the means to heighten his or her sexual fantasies, all he or she need do in order to call up these same feelings and images is express the desire or intention. Once this intention or desire is expressed, a whole network of cellular-memory groups is activated." The Drug of the New Millennium, by Mark B. Kastleman p. 83.

THEREFORE, it is important to understand that we are dealing with the wiring that has formed in the brain over a period of time that automatically takes us to the negative behaviors. That is why it seems so difficult to change. The good news is "the brain is plastic. It can change. It can rewire. As Dr. Schwartz says, "But the neuroplasticity I'm talking about extends beyond the formation of a synapse here, the withering away of a synapse there. It refers to the wholesale remapping of neural real estate;" and "The brain could change even if all patients did was use mindfulness to respond to their thoughts differently. Applied mindfulness could change neuronal circuitry." Jeffrey M. Schwartz and Sharon Begley, The Mind & the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force, pp. 223 and 236). Change is possible. We can rewire our brains!

1. How we look at ourselves

It is important to understand that as human beings we have the ability to stand back and observe what is going on in our personal world. We are not our thoughts; we are not our behaviors, or our feelings. We have thoughts, behaviors, and feelings. An essential element of this approach is that there is a part of us that is in the driver seat. Dr. Schwartz calls it the Impartial Spectator. It could also be called our Will, our Intelligence or the Observer. We can observe our thoughts, actions, emotions and physiological state. If you think about a blue sky and I tell you to now think about a yellow car - you can do that. You can change your thoughts. Therefore, we are not our thoughts. There is a part of us that is not addiction or compulsive but can observe the addiction or compulsion.

"In this way of thinking about your emotions, you sense feelings, sensations, and thoughts from the perspective of the Impartial Spectator. You regard your thoughts and feelings as passing, ephemeral 'mental events' rather than as accurate reflections of reality. Instead of reacting to negative thoughts and feelings as 'these are me,' you come to regard them as 'events in the mind that can be considered and examined.' You recognize that thoughts are not facts, but are instead 'events that come and go through the mind." The Mind and the Brain, p. 248

Aaron T. Beck, the foremost cognitive behavioral psychiatrist in America, writes: "Merely telling patients to become more aware of their thinking can be sufficient. This is similar to the suggestion that one consciously chooses to remember one's dreams. The patient may be unaware of his thinking because he has considered it unimportant. The therapist needs to stress the effect thinking has on one's life. Automatic thoughts can be presented as being similar to subliminal advertisements: by learning to detect them, the patience can free himself from their effects." Anxiety Disorders and Phobias, a Cognitive Perspective, p. 192.

This is an absolutely essential element of this approach. If we do not believe that there is some part of us that has the ability to view our addiction, to observe our thoughts and emotions and behaviors, then it will be very difficult for us to believe that we can change them.

To illustrate this concept, a person addicted to pornography could, by using his Impartial Spectator, manipulate his thoughts by:

Exercise 1:

"Rather than gazing at a woman's body, look her in the eye and say to yourself, 'This is a human being, not an object. This is someone's daughter, sister, mother." ( Kastleman p. 356). If you have an image come to your mind, make it wavy like you are looking in the mirror at an amusement park; make the image very skinny or really fat. Use your will to change something about the picture. You will then see that you have the ability to gain some control over the thought by making an alteration to it.

Exercise 2:

"Do a series of exercises in which you sit and practice telling yourself, '"I am not my body - I have a body," and "I am not my thoughts - I have thoughts," and "I am not my emotions - I have emotions." In this way, you begin to identify more with your awareness instead of with what you may be thinking, acting or doing at any moment." Beck. p. 245

Exercise 3:

Name the behavior. An important part of this Impartial Spectator concept is to be able to name the urge or compulsion when it arises. This helps us to recognize the reality of the situation but not be quickly moved into the feelings and physical sensations that follow. Naming the urge also moves the energy from the mid-brain where appetites and passion resides, to the pre-frontal cortex where higher thinking takes place. The next time the obsessive thought or urge arises, just call it what it is: "This is my urge to drink alcohol or view pornography." Once you have stopped to look at it, you can ask some questions that might be helpful, such as "Why has this come up right now?" "What just triggered this urge?" "What happened just before I had this thought?"

THEREFORE, once we believe we have the power to rewire our brain, that rewiring begins by us becoming observers of what is going on in our minds and bodies. We begin noticing our triggers. We put a name to our urges. We become the observer, not the victim.

1. Total Behavior

It is important to understand that our addictions and obsessions are made up of four components.

We may be focusing on just the final behavior (doing component) of drinking, overeating, gambling or viewing pornography and not realize that there are more. The four components of every behavior are:

1. Doing (or active behavior): This is the behavior or action we do with our body. (We turn on the computer, drive to the liquor store, or open the refrigerator.)

2. Thinking: These are the thoughts we have before or after the behavior. "I deserve to be happy," or "I don't get much joy out of life," or "I am a failure at everything I do," or "I will never get over this so I might as well not try."

3. Feeling: These are the emotions we generate as a result of the thoughts we think or the behaviors we do, such as depression, guilt, sadness, disappointment, disgust.

4. Physiology: As a result of our thoughts, actions and feelings, the brain releases neurochemicals and hormones that cause a physiological response in the body. This body response is generally pleasurable for the moment. The chemicals released by the drug cause a euphoria that sends a wave over the body. This body response can then drive more of the behavior as the body builds up a tolerance. (William Glasser, Control Theory)

Betty is a compulsive over-eater. Let's examine her behavior in terms of the Total Behavior picture:

As Betty sits in her chair (doing component) and thinks about her life, her disappointments and failed relationships (thinking component), she begins to feel depressed, sad and lonely (feeling component). She eats some high carbohydrates food to help herself feel better (doing component). Because of the serotonin (feel-good neurotransmitter) released in her brain as a result of the carbohydrates she has eaten, she actually feels relief (physiological component). Because she does this so often, (what wires together, fires together) this pattern is strengthened in her brain so that whenever she starts thinking negative thoughts, she automatically returns to the same behavior - overeating.

Betty wants to tackle her depression, which she thinks is responsible for her overeating. However, to break this cycle, she is most likely to be successful if she changes the doing component. "If we want to change a total behavior, the way we can do it is to choose to change its doing and thinking components...I have no ability to change how I feel, separate from what I do or think, but I have almost complete ability to change what I do, and some ability to change what I think, regardless of how I am choosing to feel." (Glasser, p. 50).

"Because we always have control over the doing component of our behavior, if we markedly change that component, we cannot avoid changing the thinking, feeling, and physiological components as well." (Glasser, p. 51)

THEREFORE, if Betty gets up and goes outside into the fresh air, breathes deeply and goes for a walk, the doing component will change the other three components. This will also redirect the firing/wiring brain pathway that is so deeply entrenched.

Exercise:

"Right now, while reading this, please try this simple experiment. Try to feel angry. Go to work at it and try to generate rage. You will probably find it impossible. Because there is no sense feeling angry right now, you can't arbitrarily choose to anger. Try as we will, it is almost impossible to choose a feeling that makes no sense. Now try to think green; blot out all else and think green. This may be possible, but it takes a great deal of concentration. If you relax even for a moment, green will slip from your mind because it makes no sense. Now raise you right hand - pick it up and raise it above your head. Immediately you see that this doing behavior is easy to accomplish because the doing component of our behavior has come almost completely under our voluntary control whether what we do makes sense or not. Therefore, as you sit trying to change your feeling to "anger," you can't do it. You may be able to change your thoughts to "green" for a short while, but then it will slip away. But deciding to raise your right hand in the air is something you can do indefinitely regardless of whether it is satisfying or ridiculous." (Glasser, pp. 50-51)

THEREFORE, the best way to change our neural pathways is to change our actions. It is much easier to change what we are doing than what we are thinking or feeling and certainly easier than changing our physical response. The next time you have an urge to do an addictive behavior, notice the urge, name the urge, and do a different behavior first.

1. Unleashing Mental Force

Our goal is to build a new neural pathway to replace the old one that is addictive, compulsive and destructive. The more we fire the neurons on the new pathway, the weaker the old ones will become.

However, this cannot be a casual replacement. The only way for the brain to really change, is to pay attention to the new behavior with all the force of will and mind power available. Brain research has shown that "selective attention reflecting willful activation of one circuit over another can nudge the brain into processing one signal and not another." (Schwartz, p. 331).

"It often takes real effort to maintain the appropriate focus, which is why it takes so much concentration to get into the proper exit lane at a complicated freeway interchange. But once you muster the appropriate focus, you can literally direct your brain to filter out the suppressive effects of distracting signals. Willfully directed attention can filter out unwanted information - another example of how directed mental force, generated by the effort of directed attention, can modulate neuronal function." (Schwartz p. 330).

Brain research has shown that there is a split-second of time between a thought or urge and the resulting action. They call it "free won't." "In a nutshell, free won't refers to the mind's veto power over brain-generated urges. Making that attention mindful and wise requires effort of the highest degree. That effort becomes causally efficacious on brain action through the mechanism of mental force...effort itself is the key to altering one's brain function." (Schwartz pp. 296-97).

In his landmark book on pornography The Drug of the New Millenium, Mark Kastleman adds a similar insight: "In phase two, the addict learns to recognize his or her triggers and then to consciously interrupt the mindbody's automatic response. New cellular-memories and pathways must be created and accessed until they become efficient and automatic, replacing the old addictive cellular-memory pathways. In the past, unaware of the triggers leading up to acting out, the addict perceived that the wave or trance hit him without warning and he had no choice but to give in. By learning new techniques, the addict regains his or her choice-point - that point at which he or she can decide whether or not to start down the funnel to acting out." p. 352.

THEREFORE, if we want to change our brain pathways, we must be serious about it. It requires real focus. As Dr. Schwartz says, "Attention must be paid." For any new circuitry to be created in our brain, we must use our powers of volition. When the urge comes to take a drug or turn on the computer, or visit the refrigerator, in that split second after the urge bubbles up in the mind and before the behavior is initiated, the individual has the ability to refocus attention on another behavior.

That other behavior - a healthier response - is selected and established at an earlier time. At a time when you are in a safe place, select a behavior that you can do that will produce thoughts and feelings that are pleasurable and healthy. Then when the negative urge arises, do this behavior first. While you are doing this behavior, focus all your attention and willpower on it. Become totally immersed in the sensations and emotions of the alternate experience.

If you are in a situation where the addictive/compulsive thoughts are taking control of your mind, go in your mind to a specific location (remember you are not your thoughts, you can change your thoughts) that you have previously established that is peaceful, pleasant and healthy.

For example, John had viewed so much pornography, that the images were embedded in his mind to such a degree that he didn't need to go to a computer or magazine. All he had to do was go to his imagination. When the first thought or image came into his mind, he stopped and said to himself, "Oh, this is a pornographic image that has come up. My brain is throwing up this image," (naming, observing, watching thoughts). John knows that the sooner he refocuses his thought, before it has turned into emotion, behavior and physical changes, the easier it is to change. He quickly changes the image by making the person wavy like they would appear in an amusement park mirror. Then he goes to the image he had previously selected, by using his mental force. It is an image of his wife and daughter on a family vacation at the beach. He has relived this experience in his mind so many times that when he thinks of it, he feels the mist of the ocean spray on his face; he senses the warmth of the summer day; he hears his daughter's laughter, and the ocean waves as they break against the beach. He sees the smile and contentment on the face of his wife. He feels the sensation of the warm sand beneath his toes. His mind and body are totally immersed in the relived experience. The more John goes to this image instead of the images he used to view in his mind's eye, the more he builds the synaptic connection and the weaker the old images become, until they eventually die out.

Brain scans have actually shown that the firing of previous pathways die out when they are not stimulated. What fires together does actually wire together. What doesn't fire, dies.

Betty applies similar principles to her overeating. She has committed to herself that before she opens the refrigerator to eat, she will walk around her house three times. While she is walking, she is breathing deeply (changing the physiological component) listening to the birds sing and feeling her feet on the grass and the breeze on her face. She is giving her full mindful awareness to this experience. The circuits leading her to the refrigerator are weakening.

Conclusion:

A scripture beautifully illustrates this therapeutic approach and perfectly captures my intentions and desires regarding individual endeavors to overcome these significant challenges:

"But this much I can tell you, if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words and your deeds, (we are not those things, but we can watch them) and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, (replace the image of those thoughts, words and deeds with the picture of Jesus Christ, feel His love and forgiveness) even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not." Mosiah 4:30

breaking addictions

Submitted April 20, 2017 at 06:02PM by blackbull1981 http://ift.tt/2piZ7aQ NoFap

The last thing you do in a relapse is masturbate. (Long) NoFap

It all starts when you wake up. You didn't get enough sleep. The alarm yanks you out of your brain. You were having a sex dream which was providing relief, but now you're frustrated that you have to get up to go to work. You're angry that you missed out on that wet dream. You don't have time to shower. You're running late so you don't eat and you resign to buy a coffee instead of making it at home. You smash your toes on the coffee table as you stumble to the door. You curse and scream and call yourself an idiot. You think about porn, about calling in sick and logging on to see if your favourite cam girl changed her hair colour. You still remember all the old passwords. But you stop yourself. You made a promise. Never again, you said.

But something is still missing as you drive to work. Fuck this traffic. Fuck the noise and the fumes and the punch clock. You're angry and you watch your hands turn white as you throttle the steering wheel. Why am I so fucking angry, you ask yourself. Oh, right, day 8 with no PMO. You've heard it gets easier. You're at a red light and you try a breathing exercise you heard about. You wonder about yoga, meditation, and exercise while internally mocking them all. You feel calm for a few seconds, the longest amount of time in days.

The woman who walks past your car smiles at you and consumes your thoughts. You smile back and feel your heart pounding as you dip into fantasy. Women never use to look at me like this! Superpowers, you tell yourself. Thanks NoFap! You tell yourself you're doing well and that you deserve that long desperate, hungry, panting, animalistic twenty second stare at her ass until the horns behind you remind you that the light has turned green. You curse the person behind you for taking away your one pleasure in over a week. And your hands tighten on the steering wheel again as you keep driving.

Same old shit at work. You realize it's only Thursday. You thought it was Friday. The seconds tick, and everything irritates you. The most exciting part of your day now that you're free from PMO is seeing some cleavage when your hot coworker leans over. You take a little hit from that look, just enough to take the edge off. Just enough to burn in to your mind the colour of her bra. Red. Like a NSFW tag. You remember the woman who walked past your car. You remember that ex-girlfriend who had a similar bra and the insatiable appetite and that one technique that always pushed you over the edge. Your mind turns to fantasy again as the hours tick by.

It's a shitty day at work. You have a headache from the coffee and lack of food and sleep. You barely dodge that NSFW post. You shake your head, remember your promise, and put your phone away. That was close! But as always your mind slips, back to the dream you were having when you woke up. You tell yourself you can't help it, its natural and harmless to fantasize. It soothes you a bit as you try to remember who it was in the dream. When you can't remember who it was, you alternate it as your ex-wife's sister, your coworker, your friend, your childhood friend's mother, ad infinitum. As long as you're not watching porn and masturbating, you tell yourself. You've heard it gets easier.

You block out whatever your boss is trying to tell you. Just have to make it to the weekend..And then what? What's so great about the weekend? You sit at home all day in your sweatpants and avoid PMO? You tell yourself you'll get to the gym, like you have for the last 5 days, and the pile of laundry gets bigger and bigger while the sunlight pours in your windows and shows all the dust floating around and the plates in the sink are Petri dishes and now you're depressed and heavy and grey inside and.... You snap back to reality and you realize you've only been at work for 4 hours...

You buy a shitty lunch from the cafe around the corner and you're twenty dollars down for the day while the food in your refrigerator rots. But it's all worth it because the hot barista with the glasses who wears her hair in that way that kills you gives you a big smile and you suddenly feel like a man again. Your chest puffs up. You give her a 5 dollar dip and she smiles and winks. You relish in all of the looks that women give you now that you're recovering from PMO. These superpowers are real!

Then why do you still feel like shit?

Oh well. Not every day can be great. Besides, you've heard it gets easier.

Back from lunch, avoiding work again. One more narrow escape from a NSFW post. You should change your settings. Block that stuff out for good. But you always hang on to that fail safe, like a junky with his multiple stashes. You shake your head at the comparison. At least you don't poison yourself! But that little NSFW tag burns in your mind.

Then it happens. The last straw. Your coworker's thong rises out of her pants and that male coworker you hate looks at you the wrong way and you hear people laughing and you're sure they're laughing at you and you realize you forgot to call your mother three weeks ago for her birthday and you finally take a little glimpse at that NSFW post just to make sure it's something you shouldn't look at and it's not that bad and you say it won't kill you to look a bit more and you leave twenty minutes early to beat the traffic rush and you're racing home and the billboard of the half naked woman makes your head spin and then you start to feel lonely and depressed and in need of comfort and you pull into your driveway and your hand is already on your belt as you fumble with your keys and you're inside and you're upstairs and your hand is in your pants and your heart aches and thumps and you feel guilty and relieved all at the same time and you remind yourself that it's only an eight day streak that you're relinquishing and you're at the computer logging on opening tabs consuming flesh and the sounds and sights of mindless sex and debauchery bombard your senses and you fall back down, down into oblivion.

And when you snap back in to your body, and close the 12 tabs and silently clean up the mess you made while your mind and body burst with rage and disappointment, you curse your addiction and everybody who lied to you. They told you it would get easier!

And one crushing thought dominates your mind:

"How does this always sneak up on me?"

Submitted April 06, 2017 at 10:56PM by PumpActionBronson http://ift.tt/2o1PKZE NoFap

Just starting. Realizing the importance of a counter to be acCOUNTable, whether it be a passive one, or something tangible like adding a post-it note to the refrigerator each morning. NoFap

http://ift.tt/2jENQfh

Submitted January 22, 2017 at 06:41PM by Iwillnotjackoff http://ift.tt/2jOV9nk NoFap

Alpha Self Kill Theory NoFap

Killing the alpha in us. 95% do it. Simple logic. Environment around us was so that to survive, we needes to grow, persist and develop. Develop our minds, bodies, will, nurture beliefs and learn to channel our energies. Food was raw and fresh. Water was pure. Hobbies were ALWAYS constructive. Rarely had free time on our hands. Experienced the realities of life quite early and tamed wild animals, knew more about nature, plus what was practically useful was kept and other things discarded. Sexual tensions were not there and people were more confident. Fast forward to now. We have been in comfort. Probably have more comfort than kings who existed hundreds of years ago. They didn't have air conditioners, cars, refrigerators, central heating systems, or just the plain toilet. God knows where they shat and where did it go. We have smartphone, computer, car, and the fucking internet. Great. But we jave more than we can handle. It is like guns being given to kids, and we all know how that goes. Without self discipline, we are killing the giants within us. Back then, you had to strive hard, develop, and talk to girls face to face. Now, it is like we are running on a treadmill. Definitely fit, but stuck at the same place. Can't be called growth. With too much tech and time, plus porn, we have a deadly mixture, which, due to regular ingestion, kills us slowly. I realized it today. So, let's not let it take over us. Use these tools for development. Not self painted doom. Let's work hard and redevelop focus, concentration, will, patience, persistence, intelligence, wit, and power. That's my message. Thanks.

Submitted December 16, 2016 at 11:51PM by thesutrarune http://ift.tt/2hGixiL NoFap

Who the fuck is u/CreateANewAccoun1E? NoFap

One who owns that account is sending porn links. Be careful guys.

If you (CreateANewAccoun1E) dumbass reading this, go and put your ass in a refrigerator and lick it from upside down,what showcase by sending these links is your(CreateANewAccoun1E)stupidity. You pathatic, dimwit and. disgusting creature.

Submitted July 11, 2016 at 09:50PM by Gameon25 http://ift.tt/29zgiMg NoFap

Just overcame an urge. Here's what I did. NoFap

So after I finished studying a few minutes back, I started thinking about what I should do next. And so I unlocked my cellphone and started checking out some good photography on Instagram. However, as always, my mind took me to the SEARCH section which is full of NSFW content, and soon enough, I was having this overwhelming feeling of masturbating.

Immediately, I got up from my desk, did about 30 pushups. Then I took an icy cold water bottle from refrigerator and had a super bone-chilling but amazingly reinvigorating cold shower.

I am serious people, cold showers are a must ! They fire up your nervous system and remove the AutoPilot which makes us PMO at the end of the day. It makes us aware of everything in a split second.

Now, I have uninstalled Instagram (I am not going to die without it anyways) and am gonna start reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for atleast an hour before I go to sleep.

Submitted June 07, 2016 at 11:38PM by exmachina2015 http://ift.tt/25KAu6l NoFap

Watched porn since I was 6 years old and it ruined my childhood and adulthood almost completely. Here is my story. NoFap

I was in a deep train of thought today about my porn addiction. Been watching porn since I was 6 years old I believe. Started out when I found my Grandpa's softcore porn magazine under his bed and I got hooked looking at naked ladies with their spreaded vaginas. I had this hot feeling rush of adrenaline telling me that this is pure happiness. Your escape! I had anxiety problems and masterbating to porn at such a young age has helped me to numb myself from reality and pain.

Porn has greatly affected my school performances. I've been going to the principles office a lot and I get a lot of whipping from my Dad from 6 to 12 years old. I remember him yelling at me and beating my ass with a belt 25 times until my ass had bloody marks. This beating goes on 2 times a week. There was a time when i accidentally broke the refrigerator door and he chased me around the house with a belt yelling and I was running for my life. My Dad was very controlling and my Mom was too weak to stop my Dad. All she does is watch him beat me as i scream and cried.

Everyday after school, I would go home and open my grandpas magazine. Fap to it and play my gameboy in the room alone. I've been addicted to video games due to my porn addiction. Because of my addictions, I flunked second grade and had to repeat again. All my old friends were gone and I felt like a stupid kid stuck with little kids. In 3rd grade, I started drawing comics of naked people having sex in crazy scenes and my friends liked it a lot. They insisted me to draw more sexy stuff and I did. My teacher later found out about my porn comics in the locker and had a meeting with my Mom. The next morning, my Dad woke me up out of bed. My Mom showed my Dad the naked drawings I drew and I was waiting for the slap in the face. Instead, he looked at the comics for a while and then grabs me furiously by the neck with both hands choking and strangling me as I lay helplessly on the bed gasping for air. Thankfully, my Mom stopped him and he let me go till I can catch my breath, coughing.

At 12 years old, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. Doctors thought I had heart disease but honestly, it was my anxiety. Living with my parents was hell. I get sweaty hands when I get nervous a lot and my heart pounds really fast when I get in trouble. As a child, I see my Dad as a monster. I use porn to cover my emotional scars.

As I got to high school, things got a lot worse. I've been bullied, called names, and I never really wanted to achieve my academic grades. All I wanted to do was to waste my life watching porn and play video games. My porn fetish was blowjob and cumshots. Been watching those compilation for months and I moved on to some hardcore like threesomes and lesbian porn. I was hooked on these fetishes but it didn't last long. I wanted more excitement and disgust.

What made me more insecure of myself was watching shemale porn. Fapping to a beautiful woman with a nice package made me cum hard for the first time. I felt disgusted, shock, and asked myself if I was gay. I was only 16 years old and I had to keep it a secret because I fapped to a guy who looked like a woman. Anxiety got the best of me and I had several panic attacks. I felt like I was going to die anytime soon. I had several girlfriends in high school but the relationship only lasted a month. I just kept going back to tranny porn.

Few years later, I graduated high school and went to my local college. I had a really hard time concentrating because I kept thinking about porn every hour. I didn't take college seriously and was suspended due to 1.6 gpa. I was really depressed and I knew that something was wrong with me. I felt suicidal at times but I never wanted to give up life. I always thought that watching porn was a normal thing because all of my friends watch porn but how much?

I've been hearing a lot of crazy things about the DeepWeb on youtube and I didn't really believe it at first but I was wrong. I was very curious guy so I took a chance to browse on the the DeepWeb and I made a huge mistake. I clicked on a link and it directed me to snuff porn and necrophilia. I was scared as fucked. Who in there minds would like this kind of stuff? Its murder and insane! Then, there were links to graphic images of children being raped helplessly from 3 to 14 year old and I felt really sick to my stomach. Who the fuck would do this? It was pure evil. What has porn become now? I decided that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! This shit needs to stop now!

I took the time to do some research on porn addiction and I stumbled upon YourBrainonPorn.com. It explains that our brain is rewired through the consumption of novelty and our brains needed more stimulus to keep up the dopamine levels. I also stumbled upon the Nofap challenge on youtube and I knew that I needed to quit porn before its too late. Been doing the Nofap challenge for 2 years now and I have seen great results from Nofap. I came back to college to take my grades seriously and got my GPA from 1.6 to 2.8. I use to get Withrawals, Cs,Ds and Fs. Now, I am getting all A and Bs. I can talk to girls naturally and I got back to running 4 times a week. My highest nofap was 46 days and I felt like a gladiator. Life is precious. Porn saps the joy out of you because you release all that intense pleasure for a trade of depression. Thats how it works. I later found Buddhaism to be a very interesting religion and I keep questioning myself of what is the purpose of life? Throughout my life, porn has destroyed me almost completely until I decided that I need to take action. And here I am. Living the real life and learning my experiences from the past and moving forward. I am still continuing my Nofap no matter what. The answer to my life is still out there and I am reaching for it. Never give up! Only you have the power to change! No one else! Only you!

Submitted May 31, 2016 at 11:48PM by abel_15 http://ift.tt/1sJ5nWO NoFap

Eating junk after I cum having edged for hours NoFap

I don't know if this has been written about - if it has, my apologies - or it's something others have noticed but when I've cum having edged for hours I just want to raid the refrigerator for ice cream, frozen desserts or root around in the house for chocolate or something sweet to eat. I am fighting the urge now to eat something junky. I wonder if it's to do with all the good stuff I've ejaculated out and am trying to get a fix of something which will jack up my brain chemicals as a reward.

Submitted April 29, 2016 at 01:39AM by Heliosuntrix http://ift.tt/1WVl5JX NoFap

Bad Dog... NoFap

So tonight my dad and I went to my grandparents house for dinner. Before we left, we fed the dogs (a timber wolf husky and a long haired dachshund), made sure they had water and closed all doors except the sliding door to the backyard, which we left open just enough for them to go in and out to do their business (in retrospect, such a dumb idea)...

After our visit, we got back home to a huge mess. Tracks of mud and water leading to the kitchen. Puddles of mud and puddles of water in the kitchen (we think they messed with the refrigerators water dispenser)... about three loafs of bread and a package of licorice missing, which I found scattered around the backyard (licorice was untouched). Going through the house the carpet was somehow spotless but mud was smeared on the edges of my parents door frame like he was trying to get into the room.

What I found intriguing was the expression of the husky (the dachshund was a follower and the husky did all the heavy lifting...I think). He was extremely relatable. We didn't have to say anything to them, their body language was riddled with guilt and subtext that read, "I know, I did a bad thing :( I had an urge and I couldn't resist." We didn't get mad towards them, just disappointed, "bad dog...". They both saw that in us and they responded by showing how disappointed of themselves they were to let us down. We cleaned up the mess, sent them to their crates for the night and that was it. Also it was really hard not to laugh.

I think the lesson that can be taken away from this story and applied to NoFap is that although we may fall into our urges, it's important to not beat yourself up over it, rather be disappointed in yourself and who you are letting down (you? Loved one? etc?), clean up the mess and do better tomorrow.

AND try to find the humor in everything... especially something as tragic as a relapse. It'll keep you more positive! Good luck!

Submitted April 10, 2016 at 12:45PM by splinePolisher http://ift.tt/1S9XHbt NoFap

[NSWF] I guess this is my formal intro. Normal mode for as long as it takes - longpost NoFap

Hi all, I guess this is going to be my AA type into. I want to tell everything, so I'll use the nsfw tags where it gets explicit, but I apologize if I go overboard! I'll be using a throwaway on this sub for obvious reasons.

So, my name is /u/abstainfromthevein, and I'm a porn addict. I'm 26 years old, have been in many relationships and am currently in a long term relationship with, whoI believe is, "the one."

I first started looking at porn probably when I was 9 or 10. We always had internet and some of my first memories are downloading porn images off limewire and "grinding" against the support beam in my basement until I reached an orgasm. It was weird and I remember how strange I felt it was that I had these urges. I was really into anime, so hentai about the characters I recognized I was always into. Real porn didn't interest me as much back then, I feel like.

Fast forward to when I turned 13 and we moved into a new big house where I had almost the entire upstairs to myself. I had a TV, video games, cable, a refrigerator, a computer, and internet in my room. It started getting more intense, I remember feeling like I had a problem when I would slip up to my room during family gatherings to masturbate. It was around this time that I started getting into group sex videos or images.

I remained a virgin until I was around 17. I started exercising a lot and got into shape and started recieving a lot of attention from the girls in my school. After fooling around with a few I settled with a girl that I would end up dating all throughout college and into graduate school. All the while keeping up my porn addiction.

I recognize that it became a problem during that relationship. I became very unhappy about 2 years into it (but would stay in the relationship for another 2 years). I didn't particularly like our sex - not because it didn't fulfill my porn-induced fantasies (that didn't really become an issue for me until later), but rather because she truly didn't enjoy it. I remember feeling how the process was a chore for her, and it made me upset that I didn't fulfill her needs and that she didn't fulfill mine. It became a chore for me to even reach orgasm solely because she was so selfish and off-putting in bed.

I started to recede from our sex life and dive deeper into my porn habit. I would say that this is where it started to become a problem. I started getting deeper into hardcore porn and the more grotesque porn. Videos and images of girls eating creampies out of another girls ass, bukkake, humiliation, bdsm, rape-like fantasies and the like all started to become common "recommendations." I remember sitting in my universities library and paying the ridiculous fee (for a college student) to subscribe to brazzers for a video I found on one of the free websites that was something like "shovel my ass coal" that involved ATM and humiliating rough sex, and then having to leave the library to go masturbate after finding the full version. Thinking about it now, I'm so grateful no caught me or stumbled onto my history - I must have looked like an insane pervert.

It was during this depression that my habit got out of control and I had to begin faking orgasms since I couldn't reach it through our sex. I blamed her at the time, but I think it had more to do with me.

Eventually I broke up with her after we went to different schools for graduate school. By this time it was definitely out of control, I would masturbate 2 or 3 times a day, partly fueled by depression of ending that long relationship and insecurity with myself (dating again) coupled with this general addiction.

I began dating and seeing other people, but my addiction persisted. I found that with new girls I could reach orgasm due to the novelty of it. Being wanted and finally getting the thing that we both knew we wanted was exciting to me so I didn't need to fantasize during sex in order to reach orgasm. But this novelty wore off every time and I would recede back to my addiction.

I ended up finishing my graduate degree abroad. While there I met a wonderful girl and we started dating. This was my first time experiencing erectile dysfunction during sex. I know now that it was likely a product of my addiction as well as nerves, but it made porn even more attractive to me. Our sex was great, she was the complete opposite of that long term relationship in terms of selfishness, but I still found that I had to almost always fantasize to reach orgasm.

I came back from my time abroad and my addiction persisted. I ended up dating a girl I didn't really like, all the while having to fake orgasms either because I couldn't reach it or because I had masturbated so recently. I remember how one way I could reach orgasm was to fake the first, and then the fantasy of tag teaming a girl appealed enough that I could imagine her enjoying having multiple guys cum in her, so the "second" was my real orgasm after getting deep into that fantasy. I sometimes still do this with my current girlfriend.

Eventually I broke up with her after meeting the girl I'm with now. She is beautiful and incredibly funny - we match on so many levels. She is really into rough sex though and occasionally watches porn herself. She likes to be choked and slapped and generally roughed up which seemed to validate my addiction and interests.

So this is where I am almost 2 years into our relationship. She is incredible during sex, but I love her so much that I struggle to put her into my fantasies. I can't imagine putting this girl that I love and care for so much into a situation like a group of guys jumping her and gangbanging her while she enjoys it and begs for more (my fantasies get worse though, typing them out disgusts me). So I've started using my exes in my fantasies because it's easier to imagine these girls I don't feel much sympathy or empathy for in these horrible "fantasies." But the fact is, that I shouldn't need fantasies to reach orgasm with her, she does more than enough. Me from 5 years ago would go absolutely insane for her. However, I've developed this ridiculous insensitivity to what she does through my habit.

What pushed me to join this sub and to seek therapy (haven't found anyone yet) and help was when she brought it up. She says she notices how I have to "leave" during sex in order to orgasm. My dog recently passed and that night we were drinking when it came up and I pretty much told her all of this (minus some of the more explicit and embarrassing stuff). She was very shocked and hurt when I told her how I use my ex-girlfriends in my fantasies. She's a bit younger than me and she worries that I don't take her seriously and that she's not "sexy enough to be in my fantasies" which is an outright untrue statement. I tried to reassure her that it's not that she's not sexy enough, it's that I'm too depraved and in love with her to want her in those situations.

So here I am. 26 years old and I am addicted to porn and masturbation. It's been 3 days and 20 hours since I masturbated last (she caught me). About a week ago I would masturbate anywhere from 1-3 times during the day, almost every day I would do it at work either at my desk (I can close my office door) or in the bathroom. I had been doing that for about 2 months and was aware of how bad that was. I would regularly browse porn on the subreddits here or on various websites/apps on my phone during my drive home (bad traffic). One thing that started to scare me was my interest in anonymous sex - I would browse craigslist casual encounters WFMM posts fantasizing about the women who would enjoy anonymous group sex, particularly the posts where she admits to wanting some form of brutalization or rape-like qualities to the encounter. I honestly believe I would never partake in that, but the fantasy was there. I also began finding an interest in hardcore humiliation, a common google search for me was "exposed humiliated cumslut abuse tumblr", where I could find insane people posting horrible pictures of girls crying and covered in cum with insanely explicit "captions." These bothered me a lot but also were extremely exciting to me.

I knew I had a problem but admitting it was near impossible - it was extremely embarrassing and juvenile to have this problem and no one needs to know (I thought).

Luckily, my amazing girlfriend has agreed to be my "acountabilibuddy" and to help me. For now I am abstaining just from porn and masturbation, since I still want to have sex with her and please her. But honestly, I worry about this. We had sex last night and I had to slip into my fantasies to orgasm - though I worked hard at making sure SHE was the one in it, and not someone else (which I feel like fuels that anonymous sex fantasy). I am hopeful that this will fade as I avoid porn all together and my fantasies fade into obscurity - though I worry how long that will take. I just want to enjoy what she does, because I know that I should and that if I wasn't so desensitized I would.

So that's it. That's my porn addiction story. I suppose I should engage in a "challenge", but since I'm not abstaining from orgasms altogether and I'm really just focusing on avoiding those destructive fantasies, I don't know if I want to do that. I believe I am going to battle this addiction forever, just like an alcoholic or drug addict. I may have my struggles, but I would like to go through my life never masturbating to hardcore porn again.

I struggled with whether or not to post on this sub since a lot of the people seem to be in a very different position as me. I'm not doing this as a show of "self control," I'm doing it because I legitimately have a problem that has the potential to ruin my life (masturbating at work or in the car... wtf is wrong with me?).

So feel free to ask questions or criticize, I may or may not respond simply due to my forgetfulness to check this account.

Submitted February 23, 2016 at 08:56PM by abstainfromthevein http://ift.tt/1ozg2kO NoFap

An appendicitis gave me the best two weeks of my life, then I ruined it NoFap

I recently went through a surgery to get my appendix removed because of a subtle appendicitis. It was on december 4th, and because of the pain caused by the stitches underneath my skin, I couldn’t masturbate for one week, and after that one week, I felt so good and happy that I went for another week just because yes, and then I watched some weird porn and I felt guilty and called my girlfriend to apologize.

 

It hasn't been too long since I started feeling guilty right after watching porn and finishing alone in front of my computer. When my girlfriend and I were on the beginning of our relationship, about 8 months ago, we had a talk about masturbation because of a movie we watched together. Cliché comedy movie scene. The boy gets caught masturbating. She told me it was alright if I masturbated to internet porn and I felt relieved, because watching porn was how I would go to sleep because of insomnia for example, it was how most of my showers ended, how I would calm myself when I couldn’t focus while writing a paper for school, it was how I “solved” my worries the day I couldn’t ejaculate while having sex with my loved one.

 

That day was the first day I wondered why, a 20 year-old guy like me, would not ejaculate while having sex with his first ever sexual partner. My first thoughts were that maybe I didn’t have enough “milk in the fridge”, and I googled for solutions. Solutions: I bought cotton boxer shorts and got rid of my old tight underwears (because maybe my refrigerator was too hot). I bought some vitamins because I read it was good for men wanting to have babies (even though I don’t want any babies for at least eight years).

 

Then I thought I was just getting paranoid and it was good for me and for her that I take more time to finish. It was only when I noticed the bored look on my SO one night waiting for me to deliver but I couldn’t. That same night I went home, I opened pornhub on my phone and I solved myself in less than three minutes. That moment was the first time I noticed how wrong it was, that my body anwers to porn better than to a naked woman.

 

I became conscious of what I was looking for on porn sites. I went for very weird stuff, from my new point of view. Even stuff that didn’t correspond to my sexual orientation. It was just that nothing was sufficient for me. Even my SO could become easily boring. Solution: live random webcam chats with strangers.

 

I’m not a cheater, but I felt like one. Even though they were porn actresses or someone from the other side of the globe. I was cheating and creating an unhealthy habit for myself, but I didn’t know if that was wrong. Maybe I was addicted to sex, but not the real kind.

 

After losing my appendix, on my post-operation recovery days, I couldn’t fap. I tried. I just couldn’t. It hurted as hell. So I spent one week, no fapping, not having sex, just with my bande-dessinée on my lap. Not porn, just a graphic novel. I remember talking to my girlfriend about not playing alone, and I wasn’t mad at all, I was a little proud of me (and charmingly shaking my eyebrows inviting my prey for a hot moment). The beginning was difficult. I was depressed. I thought it was because I was stuck in bed, but actually it was because I couldn’t do what I wanted to do with my phone. I wanted to drop my pants.

 

After one week, I wasn’t feeling pain anymore. But I didn’t want to masturbate. I felt better. I knew it was because I wasn't watching porn. I just didn’t know it could have a connection. I thought it was silly stuff, no more than a belief.

 

I had an important person coming to visit me. I’m not proud to say that that was the first time, after 9 months of relationship, I really enjoyed sex. Even watching television was better. I even turned in a big part of my papers to my professor. But after that day, I went for porn, and I ruined everything. I felt bad that day, but the next day I went for porn again, and felt bad again. I had(have) a problem.

 

I googled again for solutions. Solution: a subreddit with hundreds of guys willing to do what I couldn’t. I want to stop. Get my life together. Love better. I want to not have to deal with anxiety. And starting today, January 1st, is my New Year’s Resolution. And I know I’ll have that glow back from the time I was in bed. I don’t have to go through another surgery to stop it. I have the power, I just have to build the courage.

 

I admire you guys.

Submitted January 01, 2016 at 03:04PM by Eusoumarcos http://ift.tt/1TtexhY NoFap

Day 3 of my nofap streak. NoFap

Hi all, just saw someone post a daily update of his nofap challenge. Thought it might be a better way to remain accountable, even if nobody reads it, because it forces me to think about my day.

After this post I'll start the day with a cold shower and then have breakfast.

Today I will do some of my homework and call my parents. The homework should be doable in 4 hours.

Then I'll go cook for the next three days. This should result in 9 plates or so that I can out in the refrigerator so the next few days, all I have to do is grab a plate and put it in the microwave. Tonight I have guest for diner.

Possibly I'll go play some age of empires at a friend's place int he evening, to celebrate the end of exam week.

What I won't do today is fap, fantasize about ladies or play CIV (which I found out is too addictive to me.) If this succeeds, I'll reward myself tonight with a page from the new comic book I bought.

Submitted November 05, 2015 at 01:29PM by Chinesinator http://ift.tt/1Me6lO0 NoFap

Some Advice on PIED NoFap

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My Wife finally gives me her real opinion on porn and porn use. NoFap

I had a funny conversation with my wife yesterday about my Nofap journey.

Just to give you some back-ground, my wife was once a dancer in Montreal for about five years, as a way to pay her way through school and supplement her fledgling career in media and journalism. She was part of a handful of very smart and hot university girls who took advantage of the super safe working conditions that were in place in the 90's. Clubs were strictly no touch, and there were giant Greek refrigerators at the door of her club ready to bounce any douche-bags out the door at a moments notice.

Needless to say, she has a pragmatic, if not indulgent, eye towards guys who use porn. She witnessed a lot of loneliness, and she gets indignant when people suggest that older virgins are rare. She knows first hand how many men feel abandoned and cast aside by the dating game, and she has become quite sympathetic, in a way. She also told me that it was quite common for guys to furtively handle themselves under the table while she danced. If it got out of hand she would call someone, but it happened pretty regularly.

My wife has also known that I use porn. It's not a huge secret. She's even shrugged it off. "Oh for god's sake, just watch the fucking porn already!" she said once when she caught me. I think she disliked my being guilty far more than me occasionally watching porn.

Now it's fifteen-years later and she has been eyeing me and my forty two day nofap progress with some support and some wry amusement. She obviously enjoys being the sole sexual outlet I have in the world.

Last night, However, she opened up. Keep in mind that she is known for being in your face and outspoken. I asked her what she thought of the whole nofap thing.

"First off, I think it's funny that you guys have a community." She said

"It's a really serious problem for some people. A real addiction. Some people have a hard time stopping and they need a community to help them."

"Whatever. I'm a little weirded out if a guy becomes so dependent on porn they can't go about their daily business. I'm weirded out that my husband might be one of those guys."

"Are you calling it pathetic? I thought you didn't mind porn."

"Of course it's pathetic!" she said plainly. " I don't necessarily have anything against porn, but jerking off by yourself to some image on a computer screen in a darkened room is kind of lame. It's sad. Not being able to keep yourself from doing it is even more lame."

I was a little chastened. But I asked her anyway: "Why are you telling me now?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess everybody is supposed to be doing it so women don't necessarily want to come out and say it. Especially if it's going to make their husbands or boyfriends feel bad. But yeah. It's sad. Jerking off by yourself infront of a computer screen is sad."

"And are you glad I've stopped?"

"Of course! Of course I'm really glad. Who wants a sad husband who jerks off all alone by himself?"

"Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"I dunno! It wasn't that obvious. You said you were working and I believed you. How much were you jerking it anyway?"

"Never mind. Um. Let's just say 'not that much.'"

"Okay. But still, if it's a problem and you're not doing it then Hurray!Hurray for not being sad little pathetic jerk-off guy! "

There you have it folks. Straight from a woman's mouth.

Submitted July 05, 2015 at 11:05PM by Dukeofurl111 http://ift.tt/1HFxvOI NoFap

OCD Now Including Sex Addiction? NoFap

I think this is okay for both sexes? Things have been spiraling out of control since my BF cheated. OCD behavior has gotten worse and now I think its expanded to sex addiction. I am diagnosed and have a history and even an arrest related. I think I've gotten much more aggressive about my particular form of acting out. I have lots of small behaviors, organizational things I do, I have issues with things being left plugged in (refrigerators, washer dryers, and stoves, and dishwashers are maddening!!!). Usually I keep my behavior at home, its expanded to work and school. I have issues with knobs and making sure they are closed and checking and rechecking, but that isn't too much of an issue. I might need to return to meds, but have been praying I wouldn't.

Now I have to quit my job, some social problems are piling up at work, and BF finally found out about some of my extra relationship sexual activity. It's only been giving handjobs, several a day usually with lots of people. His friends, coworkers, people from class, and strangers. I started going around prepared to do it anytime and the sense of chase and calm was a high and really made other problems go away. I've done my boss several times, but last time he started pulling on my head real aggressively. Hurt my neck. While I do like all kinds of sex, the handjobs were my limits I'd placed. So the boss is acting like an ahole now. Some girls at school are being horrible and even some of the boys have gotten out of control with thing they say publicly.

My BF finally found out what I was doing, but we're still not broken up, but he's fighting with several of his friends who won't have anything to do with me now. He's horrible to me but doesn't want me to leave. And yet I can't stop with the handjobs, even later I've got someone set up. I think my OCD now is including sex addiction, since the feelings are the same. But I know its not like what I read about with other people either, so maybe its not as bad as I think or its just like a habit or revenge cheating or just normal. I don't know if I'm asking for advice or just putting it out there. I feel like I need a plan, but not meds, just a plan.

Submitted March 25, 2015 at 11:47PM by worthlessmoi http://ift.tt/1EUgFJ1 NoFap

I'm doing physical damage and still just keep on plowing through telling myself 'just one more time.' This is like a heroin or cocaine addiction. NoFap

I swear I have done nerve damage or given myself a stricture in my urethra from over-masturbation/extended 'sessions,' yet I still do it. Every. single. time. I stand up or sit down I get this discomfort in my penis. I go into chatrooms and chat for HOURS before orgasm and chat about some of the most disgusting things. What a worthless piece of scum I am. I can't believe I do not have the willpower to stop. I deserve this physical pain. I brought it all on myself. I wish I could just get a prostatectomy and orchidectomy to remove my prostate and testicles. I have never wanted kids. These are just pointless potentially cancerous pieces of garbage in my body that do nothing but drive my mind insane. Totally useless. Or I wish I could contact my ISP and have them block certain websites because even if I configure my hosts file, I'm a web guy, I will go back in and remove the blocks. My longest stint with no masturbation was 10 days and that was last year after having been addicted for about 22. I am kneeling as I type this as I can't even sit in a chair right now my penis is so sore. The thing with cocaine and heroin and alcohol is that they are not perfectly legal and sitting right next to your refrigerator every time you go to eat something. Porn is 1 single click away from doing ANYTHING AT ALL on your computer. Sorry just venting. I HAVE to stop this because I have done permanent physical damage to my penis. That's so embarrassing to even admit.

Submitted February 27, 2015 at 04:40PM by IUsedToHaveAmbition http://ift.tt/1EwJBry NoFap