Broken, lost, thrown away (RANT) LifeAfterNarcissism

Does the N in your life have extreme disregard for possessions-- even valuable ones-- and objects in general?

Cleaning out Nparent's house and it is beyond devastating

Yes, hoarding and negligence. I can't even talk about the condition of the house and the wasted investment and the loss of inheritance. I jsut want to focus on the small stuff.

Everything-- EVERYTHING IS BROKEN. Handle off the refrigerator door. Why? Those things do not easily break. It is not an old unit. Have you ever had a fridge handle just come off? CD player with the lid covering the CD totally missing. Literal doors to bedrooms missing, taken or fallen off their hinges, where are these doors, no one knows, they're not in the doorframes though. The damage to the house and to countless possessions large and small is endless. Things that should have been kept were thrown away, probably because it offered him a small sense of delusional empowerment to be "decluttering"-- but actually he was giving away or discarding things that his children wanted passed on to us someday. Meanwhile, piles and piles of incomprehensible junk built up over the years.

I had to edit this because I was worried it would be too upsetting for others to read. Anyway let me know if anyone else has an Nparent with this tendency please.

Submitted June 13, 2017 at 01:33AM by clutch_purse http://ift.tt/2tep3SY LifeAfterNarcissism

Uncomfortable Thing With Housemates LifeAfterNarcissism

I'm not sure I'd call this a trigger, it's more of a squick thing than anything.

So I live with the SO and a few other people in a house for school. We all got along fine for a while but recently there's been some pettiness happening in terms of housekeeping. Two of our housemates in particular are really nitpicky with everyone, particularly me and SO. For a while they kept taking our stuff out of the communal refrigerator without asking because they had determined it didn't need to be in there. There were other incidents like this related to the placement of things in the house. So the SO went to have a talk with them, and I was present for part of it.

At one point during the talk, which I will say was calm, one of the two says "well I'm sorry you feel like the victims in this". That really struck a little too close to home to the sort of stuff my nmom would say, and I had to excuse myself.

It seemed that my SO had resolved the issue, and things went well. Then, just recently, SO accidentally left something in the hall as we were leaving for a day out, and we came back to a really angry note about how x thing didn't belong in the hall and generally other ranty stuff. SO confronted the person who wrote it, who was one of the two aforementioned housemates. Said housemate lives right across from my room so I got to hear the whole argument. SO was saying the note was passive aggressive, housemate kept going on about how we always leave trash everywhere (we don't, actually, this is literally the only time we've left trash somewhere outside of a trash can or our private rooms). Housemate claims SO is trying to say leaving trash in the hall is ok, SO says that they just want Housemate to let them know in a less passive aggressive way, Housemate then says "I don't have to babysit you"

Once again, too familiar. I had to put my headphones on full blast.

The other night, I also overheard one of these two housemates talking with some other people. Something was said about a pizza box getting put in recycling, and said housemate said "yeah, I always glare at them for doing that stuff". I had put the pizza box in recycling (didn't realize you weren't supposed to) and my SO and I are the ones that order pizza most frequently, so I know said housemate was referring to us.

This stuff is just all bringing back the weird mind games my nmom would play with me, especially the stuff about punishing me for things without telling me what I did wrong, or putting words in my mouth. No one in the house knows about the stuff with my nmom or my cptsd. I don't have a therapist I can go to regularly, the college just refers people with intense problems like mine to an outside therapist and none of them can work me into their schedules. I don't want people in my house to know about this for a number of reasons, primarily because I don't want them to feel responsible for my problems.

I don't want to leave my room or do anything in the hall because I feel like something's gonna happen. I have to live another 3 months here. And everyone loves these two housemates so I don't think I'll get much support outside of my SO and one other housemate.

I dunno, just wanted to rant I guess.

Submitted March 08, 2015 at 04:59AM by Kezoqu http://ift.tt/1EqLXd0 LifeAfterNarcissism