I moved into my boyfriend house 6 months ago. I assumed half of the payments, we split everything down the middle, but I've only been here for 6 months, hes been here for 5 years. this took a long while for me to adjust to. I felt weird cleaning out the refrigerator, moving things around, doing heavy duty cleaning etc. if we had bought this house together or if he had only moved in a few months before me i dont think I'd feel this way, but to me this is his house that im paying rent to live in.
in these 6 months I have yet to have a friend over, or really have a social life in general. he is my social life outside of work, but that's actually mostly becuase i moved 1200 miles away from home last year and i havent made any significant friendships yet. we're both homebodies so it works, i play video games with my friends back home, he plays video games with his clan, its pretty much what I like doing aside from the occasional friday out with my buds, but they're not here so it is whay it is.
anyway, my best friend was my neighbor since I was 8. she and I spent every day together until we were 16 and my parents split. my mom got custody so I moved with her, but my mom still drove 45 minutes every friday to pick up my bff and she stayed the weekend, and my bffs dad would let me camp out there for 3 weeks of my summer break...so we are really close, always have been. of course when we grew up we saw less of eachother, but still make it a point to text or call once a week and get together once a month for drinks. since I moved away ive missed her as much as I miss my mom and my brothers. its really hard being so far away.
me and my bestie grew up pretty poor, and she hasn't had the best luck in life, ill leave it at that. she works her butt off. she recently graduated a 2 year school and shes going to a state College now full time while she's still working. she pays out of pocket.
she wants to visit me, she knows I'm pretty lonley here and really wants to spend her spring break with me. I can't afford to fly back there otherwise I would just go.
I told her I'd talk to my boyfriend and get back to her. I talked to him once about it and he said he doesn't care but she has to get a hotel. we have a spare bedroom and hotels are friggin expensive. she can't afford a thousand dollar trip. he said 'im not an air B&B. I never went on trips when I was in school, she can't wait until she can afford a whole vacation.'
hes never met her before so I get where he's coming from. we sort of jusy stopped talking about it. he later said sorry for being short with me but he "doesn't trust people, especially strangers." and hes "not saying no, but im not saying yes right now either, i dont want someone i dont know being around when I get off of work."
So I let it go and told my best friend I'm not sure yet but id get back to her.
today my boyfriend said he's going on a 3 day trip that he does every year in March. I said "oh that's perfect, maybe we can talk about having her come for those days so you don't have to be around for it and it doesn't interfere with your work!"
He flipped out, like went off on me. honestly.i shouldn't have brought it up when he was at work, but I just got really excited! I miss my friends so much and having my oldest dearest friend here for a few days would hold me over for another year. he said, again, how he doesn't want a strange in his house when hes not home.
I know its his house. I pay for half of everything but he put a down-payment and he payed for the house for 5 years, its just a shitty fucking feeling. I live 1200 miles away from the only place I feel like is home. I can't even have my friends over my boyfriends house.
it's his house so I respect his rules and his boundaries but this sucks. I don't feel like I have a home. if i cant put up my closest friend for 3 nights in the spare room, what can I do?
I don't even feel like i have the right to argue or be steadfast about this issue becuase again. it's his house and im just a tenant
tl;dr last year I moved 1200 miles away from home. 6 months ago I moved into my boyfriends house. hes lived here for 5 years. I pay half the bills now but this is still his house. I feel more like a tenant than anything becuase hes been here so long and has put so much money into it. hes going to be away on a trip for 3 days this spring and i wanted to have my best friend since I was 8 over for those days. she can afford the plane ticket but can't pay for a hotel, she is a full time student and a waitess, paying out of pocket for school. boyfriend won't let me have her over. I don't feel like I have a leg to stand on becuase this is his house after all.
Submitted December 13, 2017 at 02:35AM by house-not-home http://ift.tt/2C7GolO relationships
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