This subreddit has helped me a lot with my boyfriend, so I thought of coming here for help again, but this time it's about my roommate.
Brace yourselves, a long story is coming. Sorry for any mistake, English is not my first language.
I've lived in the same house for 6 years, with other 3 roommates. We've been the same 3 people for 6 years: me, Tracy (27F), Gemma (27F). Two years ago another girl came to live with us, Rebecca (27F).
One year ago Tracy went to live by herself because she couldn't stand Rebecca anymore (Rebecca did some really nasty things to her at work). This year another girl came to live with us, Sally (26F).
I've always got along well with everyone except Rebecca (and Tracy is one of my closest friends). But this was not a problem, since until Sally came in we simply had no relationship at all, except the casual chat about the weather or things concerning the house we live in.
However, since October (when Sally came in), Rebecca has started to upset me every chance she had. I won't recall every episode right now, but here are some.
1. When Tracy left it was only me and Rebecca sharing a bathroom. I noticed, when I was cleaning, Rebecca's hand soap was empty, I had to move it so I could clean the sink. So I decided to check if she was using mine without asking (I wouldn't say no, as long as someone doesn't take advantage of me). I placed all my soaps in a way I could remember how I left them, and found them moved several times even when they were in my drawer (Rebecca didn't clean the bathroom once). So I decided to take them all into my room.
2. One day I was ill, with a really bad cold and a terrible headache. I had informed my roommates about that. However, Sally and Rebecca had guests. Sally had a friend of hers over, but they were really quiet all the time. Rebecca instead let her guests (other 3 girls) start to sing in front of my room. I didn't say anything to Rebecca at the time, because I couldn't get up from bed and I just wanted to be polite: maybe Rebecca wasn't recalling at the moment I had a headache.
3. One weekend we all went away. The day before I told I was leaving to Gemma, I knew she was leaving too. I left the house at 10:00 am and sent a message in the house chat 10 mins before going out of the house, as I always do. Sally answers she's at work and she was going to leave after work, and Rebecca says the same. Gemma (who is also the landlord) got angry in the group chat because no one said they were leaving. Rebecca answers that she knew Gemma and Sally were leaving but she didn't know about me, thus blaming me for not closing the gas before leaving. I answered I didn't know Sally and Rebecca were leaving too, and I wrote 10 mins before effectively leaving, so if they had answered before I could have taken care of everything.
4. Rebecca didn't use to lock the door before leaving. When Gemma reminded on the group to lock the door, Rebecca was ready to blame it on me since I was always the last leaving. But the others called her out on that saying they knew I always lock, and if I doubt someone's at home I knock on their doors before leaving the house. Obviously, her reason to that was that she always thought I was at home.
5. One day Sally found blood stains on the toilet. She asked in our house chat to please pay attention, that she wasn't on her period so she was pretty sure it wasn't her. Rebecca quickly answered that it must have been me since her period ended the day before. My period was to come the week after that... I wrote to Sally in private and made her notice how in the trash bin there was only Rebecca's brand of tampons (we all use different brands).
6. One day I had 3 friends over at dinner, we hung out for a while in the dining room with Gemma and Sally, then we went into my room to play some board games. We were having fun and laughing, until Rebecca came home. After about 10 mins she comes knocking at my door saying we were making a lot of noise and she couldn't sleep. I got really mad, said "ok" and shut the door on her face. I was fuming because I never had friends over, it was the first time, and when Rebecca's friends were singing in front of my room while she knew I had a terrible migraine I said nothing because I wanted to be polite. Anyway my friends were going to leave soon, but they left before ending the game because they were too embarrassed.
7. Yesterday I came back from the holidays (I spent them with my parents who live in a different town). I asked beforehand the other girls to please leave a little more space for me in the refrigerator since I wanted to bring something from home. The refrigerator has 3 drawers. The rule usually is that we put things where there is space. However, I tend to stack all my food in one drawer because I tend to forget what I bought, same reason why I put my name on things. It's happened before that someone moved something in another drawer to create more space, no big deal. When I came back no one was at home, I moved the things from one drawer where there was already something mine and put everything there, while I put the other things in another drawer. I wrote on the house group what I had done. Two hours later Rebecca sends an angry text in the house chat saying I should have asked because all her things were in that drawer since she doesn't remember what she's bought. How could I have known? Why doesn't she write her name on her things like me and Sally do if she too is forgetful? I've been nice to warn because I made a massive move, and I have to listen to her raging at me? And I should have waited 2 hours for her to give me her approval before putting my food in the refrigerator? I politely answered that I didn't know whose food I was moving and I had already warned them that I needed a little more space than usual, so I needed to move something anyway to create a little more space. She replied with "you should have asked", but I didn't write back since I would have only been rude at that point.
8. Today, there was the lady who cleans our house that got trapped out on the balcony because the door had closed. It was a problem with the door, she called me on the phone and I went to open to her. When she finished, I got out to give her my share of money before Rebecca, then went back into my room since I was studying. Rebecca got out to give her share of the money. The lady told her how she got stuck outside, and Rebecca promptly told her "it must have been JealousGirlfriend6, maybe she tought..." , but the lady stopped her saying it was a door malfunction.
I can't stand this anymore, everything Rebecca blames it on me. I don't know how to make her stop. She is really sneaky, except yesterday she has never been angry, but I hate being her target when anything goes wrong. She doesn't understand when she does something annoying, but is the first to point her finger at me when I naively do something that can be annoying. I cannot leave this house till the end of the lease, and anyway I'm supposed to graduate in this year, so it would be only a waste of time to move. Moreover I like the house and the other roommates, I have a pretty big room which is not something easy to find where I live.
What can I do to make her stop? How can I politely shut her up?
I'm interacting with my other roommates less and less because I don't want to see her. I'm anxious because I can't be less than perfect or next time something happens she will be right on blaming it on me.
tl;dr: My roommate blames everything going wrong on me, even when I'm not at fault. How can I make her stop?
Edit: formatting
Submitted January 11, 2017 at 12:11AM by JealousGirlfriend6 http://ift.tt/2j4BnDY relationships
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