When I woke up yesterday morning, the first thing I did was check TimeHop, because I’m a millennial. I realized it was the 3-year anniversary of adopting my cat, Moxley. I cuddled him in bed and told him what blessing he is. I then snapchatted this picture.
When I got home from work, this scene awaited me. Shelly is my dog I adopted in January. She can be a little destructive when she’s alone during the day, so while I was annoyed she ruined another bed, it happens. Then the smell hit me.
Shelly never has accidents unless she’s sick so here’s what I put together. Shelly had a sudden and urgent need to shit. She tried to escape through the window but failed and evacuated her bowels underneath it. Then she backed up slowly, realizing what she had done and peed in shame. Then she thought “man, I really fucked up” and tore up the bed to cover the accident. She also knocked everything off the refrigerator for good measure.
I cleaned up the entire mess and opened windows and lit a candle to try to get rid of the stale dog shit smell.
Things calmed down until about an hour later – I had a grocery delivery so there wasn’t much counter space. Moxley decided to investigate the groceries and jumped up onto the counter, over the candle. We both stared at each other for a moment before he realized that this was a poor decision as he caught himself on fire. He fled the room and I had to decide whether or not to chase him to see if he was lighting the house on fire or leaving Shelly alone with the groceries. I accepted my fate to go down with the burning house, but he is fine, just mildly singed and now the smell of burnt hair has replaced the smell of stale dogshit.
I then drank a bottle of wine.
TL;DR - My dog shit all over my kitchen and, not to be outdone, my cat lit himself on fire.
Bonus pictures of Shelly looking ashamed and Moxley’s last snapchat.
Submitted September 15, 2016 at 07:49PM by buffyybot http://ift.tt/2cgZlYh tifu
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