The tinder roommate badroommates

I only roomed with him for 3 months. NOT MY DOING.

If you've seen my first post, you know my roommate was batshit crazy. But this takes the cake.

We had mentioned together previously that we wanted a third roommate in our next apartment so we could split the costs further saving more money. Smart right? Not.

So one day, while on tinder, looking for some sweet dong she came across this mildly okay looking guy. So she starts talking to him. They hit it off really well, conversation is flowing, all is good. Somehow she mentions that we're looking for a third roommate which gets him excited because he's also looking for a room

That night while I'm sleeping, he comes over and they basically become obsessed with one another. They were both bipolar. Both depressed. Both had been recently dumped by their exes. Both drank a lot. It was a party apparently.

That night she offers him to stay on our couch, as long as he split the rent. Cue him moving in.

NOTE: I only know this from speaking to her after the fact. She did not consult me. Did not ask if it's okay. She just did it.

So I come home one day and there's a dude half naked in boxers sleeping on my couch and his shit is all in boxes in the doorway. WTF

I confront her and she says I agreed to the third roommate thing. Wrong. I agreed to find a third roommate when we move into a bigger place so we can split bills evenly. Not have some bum on our couch.

Whatever. Moving on. He stays for three months. In that time he:

1. Drank so much our carpet was covered in cans. Beer cans everywhere. And not even good shit. His car was worse. He drank and drove.

2. Tried to get my cat put outside because he "hates cats and pays a third of the rent so he gets a say". No mother fucker you're not on the lease you don't.

3. Destroyed the community toilet then refused to plunge it. So I had to.

4. Tried to fix the toilet at 4am while on acid. Right. Next. To. My. Room. I appreciated the effort but not at 4 bloody am right outside my door.

5. Lost his job. (He never showed up).

6. Drove drunk. Got T-boned. Then lost his license AND car.

7. Had a felony charge. (I learned this when discussing our new place and asked if he had any issues with being on a lease with us).

8. Never showered. Man stank is real my friends.

I was working 3 jobs and going to school so most of the time I didn't really care enough to notice this dude needed to go.

The last straw came when he went into my room and stole my underwear from my laundry basket and started to try and sneak in my room at night.

I told my official roommate dude needed to gtfo now. She fought hard. Apparently the sex was great. And after I told her I'd break my lease she relented.

I had never seen a man throw a hissy fit until then. Left ALL his trash everywhere. Slammed doors. Broke our refrigerator (still don't know how) and took a shit on the carpet??????? It was way too big to be my cats.

Long OBVIOUS short story: don't get a roommate off a dating site. Especially tinder.

I'm looking at you old roommate. I'm looking at YOU.

Sorry for the rant. I needed to tell someone.

Submitted July 13, 2016 at 02:20PM by aresandnero http://ift.tt/2a8qomd badroommates