The other night my sister and I were having fun watching Netflix in the living room. After the movie ended she went into the kitchen to start dinner. She was having a hard time with the oven so I got up to help her. I think I'd heard my brother come out of a room as I got up, and I felt as though he was behind me when I walked into the kitchen, but I was afraid to look.
When I got to the oven I finally took a moment to glance behind me and there he was at the refrigerator, about 2 feet from me. It sounds mundane but I was livid. I couldn't believe he had the audacity to walk into a room where I was present, or follow behind me for that matter. It became a big confrontation and I remember my mother and sister having to hold me back. My brother body builds, and is not someone I'm a physical match for at all. He beat the shit out of me once and I had body tremors for weeks. I thought about this during the confrontation but I didn't care. I wanted him to hurt me just so the police would have to get involved. I felt so reckless and ready for anything.
I've never been an angry person, but my brother enrages me in a way no one else does. I know I shouldn't live with someone who makes me feel this much hatred. Every time he walks into the house it's as if I've been lit on fire because I'm so furious. We all live with my parents and it's humiliating. At this stage in my life if I don't like my brother I shouldn't have to see him. I don't have anywhere else to go though. I've always wondered if I could survive on the streets. Should I go homeless for a while? I just feel like this current living situation is dangerous.
Submitted June 07, 2016 at 08:16AM by pkmntrainerserena http://ift.tt/24uRTdj Advice
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