Totals: 7 days, 6,330 posts, 36,281 comments.
Included in this report: The top 400 posts, and 22,889 of the top comments, by 19,180 distinct authors.
There was 1 gilded post, and 12 comments were gilded.
See the comments for detailed reports and charts.
Most Popular Posts
| Score |
Author |
Post Title |
| 6873 |
/u/specialservices |
If Leonardo Dicaprio ever wins an Oscar, he should pull out a dusty piece of paper and do an acceptance speech as if it's from 1993 |
| 6601 |
/u/rsahk |
Netflix is like a refrigerator full of food but with nothing I want to eat. |
| 6506 |
/u/MrCSquared |
Dogs probably destroy shoes because they see humans put them on before they leave the house. |
| 6473 |
/u/makeitrayne |
My debit card pays for things with past hours of my life, and my credit card pays with future hours of my life. |
| 6423 |
/u/Cosmo_120 |
Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair. |
| 6331 |
/u/InconspicuousD |
I read through /r/nosleep yesterday and realized that terrible things only happen to people with excellent storytelling skills. |
| 6299 |
/u/Brinner |
Bushing your teeth is the only time you clean your skeleton |
| 6082 |
/u/Nabrokovian |
A bed is a shelf for your body when you are not using it. |
| 5907 |
/u/foresstguy |
I turned 18 a half hour ago, I've spent 100% of my adult life on reddit. |
| 5814 |
/u/BaronVonTittySlapper |
All males strive to "be the man" while avoiding "being that guy". |
| 5494 |
/u/Stabler86 |
I'm bored when I listen to a song from my personal music library, but when it's played on the radio I get excited like it's the greatest song ever. |
| 5490 |
/u/Theraininafrica |
Reddit is like riding a bus. Everybody is talking at the same time so you can't make out anything good and on the rare occasion you hear someone talk about something interesting, that you could contribute to, it is too late and that part of their conversation is over. |
| 5369 |
/u/AprilLudgate-Dwyer |
The only reason that "shower thoughts" is even a thing is because showering is one of the very rare times that it is impossible to have your face buried in the Internet, thus enabling your capability for abstract and creative thought. |
| 5357 |
/u/jmk4422 |
I'm quitting smoking because my niece told me that she wants me to "be around as long as possible". If I get hit by a bus tomorrow I am going to be so pissed off that I fell for her sentimental crap. |
| 4992 |
/u/SnapeDiedaVirgin |
Kim Jong Un is the real life equivalent to Plankton |
| 4829 |
/u/dead4seven |
When aliens really attack Earth, my first thought is probably going to be "Which movie came the closest?" |
| 4224 |
/u/xNPi |
Minors have less freedom to do legal things, but more freedom to do illegal things |
| 3991 |
/u/hobbesncalvin |
Maybe people should start getting a three, five, or ten years term on their marriages, with an option to renew/terminate at the end of the term. They get tax benefits, and if things aren't working out, there's an exact date to look forward to instead of a messy divorce. |
| 3800 |
/u/SithKain |
If an adult had told me as a child that they secretly don't have a clue what they're doing, growing up would have been a lot less of a shock. |
| 3798 |
/u/howtokitten101 |
When a toilet seat is cold it's horrible but when it's warm it's worse |
| 3797 |
/u/held818 |
Not once in my entire life have I seen a handicapped person go in or out of a handicapped stall in a bathroom. |
| 3663 |
/u/ProphePsyed |
Plastic bags are the city version of tumbleweed. |
| 3540 |
/u/EssOhKayAyEl |
'Mum jokes' are jokes about your mum but 'Dad jokes' are jokes told by your Dad. |
| 2584 |
/u/brawler839 |
The middle aged equivalent to the 'walk of shame' is having to leave a public place because your child is throwing a fit. |
| 2393 |
/u/Shadowviper12 |
Do Zubats think they're really strong because everyone runs away from them? |
| 2335 |
/u/aaa937 |
Both 10 AM and 12 AM come before 11 AM |
| 2305 |
/u/muffinpoots |
Telling someone that changing subjects in a conversation is your fetish would put them in a very awkward position. |
| 2245 |
/u/themightyheptagon |
In the original "Dracula" movie from 1931, Dracula and Van Helsing are played by Bela Lugosi and Edward Van Sloan. So their names are..."Bela" and "Edward". |
| 2226 |
/u/TheCreamySmooth |
When I first joined reddit and say a red envelope, I thought 'Oh cool, a conversation', now all I think is that I'm being yelled at for whatever I posted earlier. |
| 2168 |
/u/meatfred |
Michael Jackson simultaneously blurred the line between black and white, man and woman, and grown-up and child. |
| 2146 |
/u/DownvoteCommaSplices |
If your rapping career ever falls through, you can always be the guy on medicine commercials who lists the side effects |
| 2105 |
/u/gypsyWizard |
If people ever stop using the word 'baby' to refer to sexual/romantic partners, our era if music is going to be weird to listen to. |
| 1801 |
/u/OfficerBrando |
It only takes three generations for you to be basically forgotten |
| 1773 |
/u/VinnyRuns |
You are not "raising a child" you are "training a future adult" |
| 1693 |
/u/jeg101586 |
I wonder if any kids ever enter their actual birthday on websites and just accept that they can't view adult content until they turn 18 |
| 1513 |
/u/PM_ME_YOUR_PANINIS |
I never read someone's username until somebody points out how ridiculous it is |
Submitted August 18, 2015 at 12:57PM by subredditreports http://ift.tt/1MzyfZj subredditreports
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