Colonel Abu F. Ackerman:
Abu, my friend, how are you! That inquiry certainly was interesting to read, knowing that Xan defected not five minutes afterwards. The Captain George, believe or not, was actually THE Captain George Rommel; the one that held the assault on New Carthage and led our first successful offensive against the Sonkinerors. Nice guy, too; I tracked him down and showed him what that Commander said at that inquiry. He was glad to have made a good impression on Xan, and even happier to show him how we humans aren’t a bunch of fucking warmongers. He recently gave me some of his personal notes he wrote when surviving on Remus, and I thought you might want to look at them. It’s up your alley. In other words, I think you'll be jealous of him. And yes, I got his permission to share the logs first, I’m not the gossip I was when we were growing up.
And, before I forget, Andrea and I just want you to know that bottle of scotch was on point. Maybe we’ll meet up some time, have some of it together?
-Mike
Day 1:
No one is left on this planet.
I’m the last one. I woke up in an abandoned house – nearly burnt down, but not quite. I don’t know how I got there. Rain was dripping through the hole in the roof. Got wet, was cold. Decided to move farther inside. Found a drier place. Couldn’t sleep. Cried until dawn – couldn’t see the sun, still raining. Rained all day. Stayed inside, took stock of supplies.
I have enough field rations and ammo for at least five weeks, and a water purifier too. I even have some morphine left. Lucky, lucky. Ditched my explosives – heavy as hell, no point carrying them around, especially with my armor almost totally shot. Comms equipment ruined, unsalvageable. One grenade, but I’m keeping it just for me. I’d loot the other troopers, but I’m too scared. It would be like stealing. They died with that stuff; I think that makes it theirs. Maybe I was their CO. But I’m not going to steal from my friends.
Found whiskey in the house. Looks like I might actually sleep tonight.
Day 2:
Rain stopped finally, but the sky is still dark. Woke up at sunrise. I have a terrible hangover, but at least I got to sleep for a bit. Bad dreams, though. Saw them dying again. But this time, I didn’t get knocked out – they tortured me. It felt like what happened at New Carthage.
I don’t want to sleep again.
Forced myself to look over the bodies. Vomited all over the place. Feel terrible for it. I didn’t find any working equipment, most of it was blown up anyway. Piled whoever I could find in a building, and I blew collapsed it with some of the explosives. I wanted to say something, I really did. I just didn’t know what. At least they’ll have a grave now – I used a laser torch to etch the names I knew onto a big piece of concrete. It’s not a proper burial, but I wasn’t leaving my friends for the vultures. Cried all the way back to the house.
I didn’t stay long, heading for the city now. Maybe there is someone else. Somehow, I doubt it.
Day 3:
Some fucking xenos were wandering around the ruins of this town I spent the night in – didn’t sleep though, despite being more tired than I’ve ever been in my life. The fuckers looked hurt. I killed them. Covered the bodies with rubble. Put crosses made of scrap on top of the piles.
Everyone deserves a grave.
Day 4:
Gunships are sweeping the roads. My active camo still works, at least. Should have let them kill me. They almost did; they’re blowing up anything that’s somewhat intact. I guess that means my house is gone, too.
Found a dog. He’s following me now. I wish I had something to feed him.
Later, I saw one of their big invasion ships leaving the atmosphere. No more gunships after that. I guess they’re done.
There really is no one left.
Day 5:
I’m calling the dog Captain Ruff Rex, because Lieutenant Rex was a Russian, and Ruff is a Siberian husky, as far as I can tell. And this dog deserves a higher rank than that drunk bastard. He killed a rabbit this morning, then brought it back and woke me up. He’s a good dog. I let him have most of it. Still following me around. I guess he likes me.
I like him.
Day 6:
Reached the city. There’s just nothing left. It’s a massive pile of rubble. Some skeletons of buildings peak out of it, but otherwise nothing. Captain Ruff didn’t want to follow me in. I didn’t make him; we started north along the river instead. I know there’s a massive secret military base in the mountains.
Maybe I’ll find someone.
Day 7:
Woke up crying – bad dreams again. Out of whiskey. Captain Ruff came over and put his head on my leg.
Good dog.
Day 9:
I haven’t said anything out loud in a week. I’m scared to try. I’m afraid they’ll hear me somehow. Captain Ruff hasn’t said much either. I guess he’s scared too.
Moving up this river is fucking terrible.
Day 10:
The mountains are getting closer. I’m hoping some people survived there – but there’s no way I could find them if they did. It’s not like it matters anyway; they would probably just shoot me.
Day 11:
It’s fucking cold. At least Captain Ruff likes to sleep next to me.
Day 12:
I found a woman today. She was really sick, and her leg looked infected. I did everything I knew how to do, but that wasn’t much. I just held her close to me while she cried. I cried too, but I didn’t let her see.
She fell asleep. Maybe she’ll be okay.
Day 13:
She wasn’t. Went in peace, at least. Maybe I should have been a gravedigger. Ha ha. But at least I found more alcohol.
Day 14:
Another town up ahead. Too tired to make it there today. I doubt there’s anyone left.
At least I have my dog.
Day 15:
Fuck this fucking stupid war and these stupid fucking alien fucks. Dead children in a bombed out school, hiding behind the corpse of their dead teacher. Got angry. More angry than I’ve ever been. Started screaming, scared Captain Ruff. After that, I cried for hours. I hate war. I want to go home.
Couldn’t bring myself to stay in that town. Captain Ruff didn’t want to either.
I’m happy I found this scotch.
Day 16:
I had a dream where Captain Ruff died. Panicked for the next hour until he came back carrying a dead beaver or something. I’ve never been so happy to see a dog.
Day 18:
Another sonkineror, this one crippled – both legs didn’t look like they worked. Killed him, with my knife. Fucking child killers. Put him in a shallow grave. Should have let the fucking bugs eat him. Maybe I’m too good a person.
I found a road that runs parallel with the river. That makes this easier. Burnt out cars all over the place. Bodies too. They really spared nothing. Makes me sick. Good thing I have scotch.
Day 26:
In the foothills. Found a little place by a lake, totally untouched. Electricity, even. No one here, though. There’s a waterfall that feeds the lake. It’s cold as hell, but it’s crystal clear. Captain Ruff likes to play in the water. Whoever lived here before left a message on the table, saying, “If you can read this, and you’re human, then take everything you need. Stay here, if you want. Vodka in the basement. Feel free to get wasted.” There’s enough vodka down there to get a whole planet drunk – must be thousands of bottles. Whoever was here was evidently a pretty big supplies – landing pad nearby, connected by a tunnel to the house’s basement. There was some venison down there too, and potatoes galore, in a massive refrigerator. The vodka was pretty good.
Fuck the mountains. I’m staying here.
Day 27:
I found a training manual for the distillery. Looks like whoever ran this place didn’t do it alone. Wasn’t a very complicated set-up, and I learn quickly. Maybe I’ll start making some of my own vodka. Not like I need to, though.
Day 33:
I present to you, vodka! Finally got it right. Tastes like the other stuff down here, but not quite as good. Celebrated by drinking the first few glasses. Regretted that this morning.
Stumbled across a greenhouse today – been too tired to really explore the area until now. Surprised I didn’t find it before. There’s a massive basement with a hydroponic farm inside, growing potatoes I assume, and a few other plants. Managed by robots. Couldn’t believe it still worked.
Looks like I can make all the vodka I want.
If I had the desire to switch back to eating nothing by rations, I could go another 3 weeks without starving. Luckily, I haven’t had to; good hunting around here. Deer all over the place. Even some apple trees in a small orchid nearby.
Maybe there’s no people here, but there sure is plenty of stuff.
*Day 35: *
Went hunting today. Felt wrong picking up my gun again – felt more paranoid, more suspicious, just by holding it. Fired it to kill a deer. Just the sound of it brings back too much. There’s a crossbow in the house. I’ll be using that instead.
Managed to get some running water in the house. Turns out, like the stuff used for the vodka, all of it is drawn from the lake. All I had to do was turn the pump on. Should have known better. Stupid, I know. Had a hot shower – felt fantastic.
I started lighting the fire in the main room. Using wood, of course. Maybe someone will see the smoke, but I’m certain now that I’m alone. Captain Ruff likes laying down in front of it. And frankly, so do I.
He likes to sleep near my feet. I found it annoying at first, but after a while, I decided I’d put up with it. I bet he likes having someone to sleep next to as much as I do.
Thunderstorm last night, scared him half to death. Shook me up too, but not as much. He’s alright now. I guess the war left its mark on him, too. It makes me feel better, having a friend around who understands. I think I would have lost my mind without him.
I managed to stop drinking every night to get to sleep. I’ve only had one glass since I first figured out how to work the distillery.
Day 42:
Made another batch of vodka. This one better than the first, if the glass I had was any indication. I only wish I had someone to share it with.
I’ve tried tinkering with my armor. Only improved the efficiency by 2%, but that’s enough to support itself and about 20 kilos of equipment.
Went scouting. Felt nice having the armor tug itself around for a change. Captain Ruff came with me. Found a military outpost, I think; wasn’t as much as three clicks away. It was just a cluster of bunkers, only half buried and half constructed. Big table in the center, with benches around, and some open cans and bottles. Definitely not the mountain base I had heard about. There looked to be some sub-levels, but all the access doors were sealed. Not much to look at.
But I did find more field rations.
Day 47:
Another woman. Followed the smoke from my fire. Her name is Kristen, and she showed up as I was about to make myself dinner. We ate together – apples, potatoes, venison. Found out she had been on a solo hike through the mountains when the attacks started. Hid in a cave she knew until it got silent enough.
Thunderstorm again. Captain Ruff was okay this time, but Kristen had an anxiety attack. I’m all too familiar with the feeling. I held her, like I held the first woman. In a few hours, the storm passed, and she fell asleep. She was still there when I woke up. I had a dream she wasn’t.
She’s cute.
Day 49:
She likes sleeping with me. The feeling is mutual. I’m afraid she’ll find out how embarrassed I get when I look at her. I think she already knows.
Maybe she’d like some vodka.
Day 50:
She loves the vodka. Drinks less than I do, though. That’s probably for the best. Wants to learn how to operate the distillery. I guess she’s not the only one who wants some way to pass the time.
She loves Captain Ruff even more; he likes her too. They get along really well, especially playing fetch.
Day 55:
We kissed last night, for a long time. Kissing her was…different. Normally, I’d be thinking of what was going to happen next, but this time? This time, all I wanted to do was just kiss her. Hell, just being with her was enough. When we fell asleep that night, I wasn’t embarrassed like I had been in nights prior.
And no nightmares.
Day 57:
Spoke too soon. Saw them dying again. Woke up screaming, sweating. Kristen helped me calm down. A couple of hours clutching her, then kissing her, I fell asleep again. This morning, I tried to talk to her about it, but she just shushed me and said it’s okay. “I know how you feel,” she said. And I knew she was telling the truth.
Day 62:
For the first time since she showed up, I woke up without her next to me. I was about to panic when I smelled some food; she had made Ruff and I some breakfast. Later, we had a walk through the woods. Ruff was out hunting, so it was just us. I don’t think I’ve ever been so calm in my life.
She’s beautiful. I really hope I don’t fuck this up.
Day 65:
Orbital rounds. Bomb sirens, and railguns and rockets returning fire – automated systems must be online. Looked to be targeting some place in the mountains – so much for a military base. Didn’t recognize the type, and didn’t get a good look, but at least they weren’t nukes. Lucky, lucky. Kristen’s with me in the basement right now. She’s scared to death. I am too, but I’m trying not to look it, for her sake. Captain Ruff is hiding under one of the tables down here. I can feel the tremors shaking through the ground. I don’t think we’ll be going topside for a few days.
Day 67:
Got courage to go upstairs. Bomb sirens stopped yesterday. Noticed, for the first time, how beautiful this planet is; it’s just like Earth, except the sky is a little bit darker. The water from the lake is still just as clear and calm as it always is, the trees are still just as green as the usually are, the mountains are still covered in snow. It’s like nothing happened, like the war never touched this place.
Kristen wants to investigate the impact site. I think it’s about 20 clicks away, but that’s 20 clicks of mountains. If there was a fight, she says, there might be survivors. I don’t want to get anywhere near it. They might still be watching, and if they see us nearby, we’re dead. I’m not losing her too.
I’m happy this place is in a forest.
We decided to hike up a mountain she knows, try to see if we can see the impact site from there. I was lucky enough to snag an extra camo module and headgear from one of the other troopers. I still haven’t forgiven myself for it. But, it means we won’t be seen by anything but high intensity sensors, which they’re no doubt using to scan the impact site itself. I convinced her to leave weapons behind – if we do get spotted by scanners, I want to appear as harmless as possible. They would probably kill us anyway. At least I won’t die alone.
Day 69:
At the precipice she’s been talking about. Lovely view. Saw the impact site, farther into the mountains. I didn’t recognize it until she pointed out that a mountain was missing. Lucky that it was so far away; we’re 10 clicks from home, and it’s at least 30 more to the crater. That rules out any chance of contaminating the water supply for the lake. The river might not be so lucky. But, luckily, the lake isn’t fed by that river, it looks like it’s fed by some glacial melt. Going to keep an eye on the Geiger counter anyway.
Great place to kiss.
Day 82:
Almost three months on this planet. I like this place.
I woke up in the middle of the night to find Kristen gazing at me. She couldn’t sleep; she had some bad dreams. I asked if there was anything I could do. She just kissed me, and asked me to hold her.
There’s nothing much to do except talk to one another and play with Ruff. I feel like I know her far better than almost anyone else; you can learn a lot about someone in a month, especially when you’re not constantly distracting yourself with games and shows and all that other nonsense. I frankly like being isolated from all that nonsense. It’s refreshing.
Day 93:
I bet the Sonkineror fleet is halfway to Earth by now. But they won’t get passed the inner colonies – too well defended, too many guns, and too many volunteers by now. They don’t care about making new homes for themselves, they just want all the stuff we have; that’s why we’re bound to win this war. We may be taking up resources, but they’re taking our homes from us. I’d die for this planet, and I’ve only lived here for a short time. I can’t imagine how angry all those refugees are, to be taken from planets like this one.
They’ll be back, and they’ll be back with guns blazing.
Day 97:
Started hearing voices nearby. Went outside, cloaked, had Kristen stay behind with Captain Ruff. Survivors, big group. At least 40. Decided to take refuge in the military outpost with the bunkers.
I gave them some vodka. They asked me to join them, I said no.
It might be nice to have neighbors.
Day 100:
They stay mostly to themselves. They said they’re going to keep moving south, after they’ve had a few weeks of rest. Apparently, they’ve been travelling for months. I told them I didn’t see anything in the city, but they wanted to get closer to the coast for food. There apparently are fish in the ocean. They had come from a city to the north. The sonkinerors hit the lake it was built next to with a fission bomb. Fucking butchers. Came south to avoid the radiation.
The younger ones like my dog.
Day 105:
Man ran back to me, said he spotted a gunship dropping someone off. Not human. Taking others, going to find him before he finds us. Many of them are good hunters. I’m taking them with me. They brought weapons, we’re taking those. Kristen is worried. I told her to stay and take care of Ruff. I wasn’t about to let one of their dammed raiders – “Privateers” as they call them – kill me.
They can “control” the planet, but they had better stay the fuck off my land.
Day 108:
His name is Commander Xar Xan Lexoth. He’s a Warrior and Privateer; I didn’t realize they could be both. He claims to have carried out the invasion of the planet. Almost killed him for that, but didn’t; I have no doubt that they would be more looking for him, if he never returned. He said he was interested in how we lived. Considering that a gunship didn’t obliterate the lot of us when we first made contact, I reasoned that he must be telling at least part of the truth. He stayed with Kristen and I – the others didn’t want to take him. Seems nice enough, but he’s still a fucking xeno.
Day 111:
The Commander tried to keep up with me when I took a run this morning. Failed miserably. Kind of funny to watch him scramble with all he’s got to keep up with my comfortable jog. To be fair, my “comfortable jog” isn’t comfortable for almost everyone else. But him wheezing like that? I couldn’t help myself from laughing.
Day 120:
Commander Xan is gone. The others started moving south again. They’ll be at the coast soon enough. Just happy to have quiet again.
Kristen likes to hug me from behind while I write these.
Day 132:
Autumn is coming. It’s getting colder now. We’ve started stocking up food in the refrigerator. Deer, mostly.
I only wish we wouldn’t be here in time of war. This planet is too beautiful for war. It’d be easier if we could all get along with one another, but I know firsthand that such a thing just isn’t possible. I don’t mind the sonkineror’s maintaining “control” of this planet for now – all that means to them is maintaining an orbital presence and keeping the major resource fields in check, none of which are anywhere near this place. They’re not searching for survivors. They’re too arrogant for that. As long as they don’t ruin this place, I really don’t care. It’s a truly lovely planet. I feel comfortable calling it mine. Not like I ever really had a place on Earth anyway.
I don’t want to leave anymore. I’d prefer to stay here, with Kristen and Ruff. I’m listed as MIA, I’m sure. I want to resign – I was a volunteer after all, and I’ve served for seven years, so I think they might just be able to make an excuse. I was dreaming of a long military career, but I’m perfectly happy on this planet. Maybe there is almost no one else, but Kristen is here, and so is my puppy.
I can’t believe Kristen is still sticking around. I’m not complaining, believe me. We’ve gotten into a rhythm. Wake up, kiss, breakfast, chores until lunch, then whatever we want until dinner, dinner, vodka for dessert, shower, curl up together and sleep. I like living like this. At least once a week we have to hunt, and a bit more often we make vodka, and we have to keep an eye on the solar farm and the water supply, but otherwise it’s a carefree existence.
Should probably stop drinking so much, though.
I like her even more now than when I first met her. We go on hikes together, and we made love on that precipice a few times – and here I thought my condition was a curse. I explained it to her, just as a fair warning before we get even more involved, but she didn’t seem to mind; she’d never been big on the idea of having kids anyway. We get along really well. Not a single argument thus far. Sure, we’ll disagree on things, but we’re both rational.
I can’t sleep without her in bed anymore. I used to think it was a little annoying sometimes, but now I need her curled up with me before I can doze off.
I think I’m in love with her.
Day 167:
Sky is on fire – ships fighting in orbit. In the basement with Kristen and Captain Ruff.
Day 168:
Human dropship.
Landed in a clearing by the river. Was there to receive them. A General Valerius on board, and Xan with him. Said Xan defected. Not sure I trust that.
I told him that I wasn’t planning on leaving, and that I was ready to resign my commission if it meant I could stay. I told him I’m sick of war; that’s the truth. He didn’t understand me until he saw Kristen walk out of the forest behind me.
He couldn’t accept my resignation. But, he said he’d station me at that half-constructed outpost as a “defensive garrison”. All he needed me to do was “oversee operations” and “manage communications”. I told him that. He said that I’m needed at that “critically important outpost” anyway, and that my “familiarity with the base and the region” makes me the “best possible candidate” for its management. He also added quietly that the Sonkinerors have fallen back to their inner colonies, and that it’s unlikely that there will be any more ground engagements. The war might last for a couple more years, he said, but he said they’re running out of resources and enthusiasm. Commander Xan insists that they’ll probably try to negotiate an end to the fighting within a few months.
There’s no glory or honor in it, I know. There’s nothing commendable about what I’m doing – refusing to go off and fight. But I’ve been a part of that war since it broke out six years ago. I don’t think I can watch anyone else die. If it wasn’t for Kristen, I would have lost my mind. She helps me keep my night terrors in check, keeps me calm during thunderstorms, and has helped me come to terms with the war. I don’t get jumpy when firing my weapon anymore – she helped with that too. If I had to leave her for the front again…I really don’t think I’d be able to function. General Valerius, I think, understands that without my telling him.
I’m done with war. I just want to live.
Submitted August 19, 2015 at 05:53AM by TheViewer540 http://ift.tt/1URLZ2I HFY
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