So part one is here
A quick recap of the characters:
Be me: 19 years old, sophomore in college. 6'4" 200 pounds give or take. I'm relatively fit, work out regularly, same shape as when I was in high school athletics. Relatively outgoing, good grades, play lots of vidya gaems, hang with friends, party on weekends, just your average college kid.
Don't fucking be BeetusBeast: Yes he really did have the beetus so his name shall be BeetusBeast. 23 or 24, 6' or so, 260 poundsish. Fucking insane. No actual neckbeard (dresses normal too) but if i picture him I can see the beard, like it's invisible. Plays video games with me. Drinks...a lot. Seemed normal when I first met him.
The Scene: Again my room
So after the police incident, BB and I seem to get along at least cordially if not friendly. Out with our friend group, the mask goes on and a wild friendliness appears. Home isn't so bad, just strained.
I mentioned that BB loves booze and food and not taking care of his beetus. It would not be uncommon for him to come home stumbling drunk on any given night of the week at around 9 or 9:30 and devour a whole pizza/pound of pasta/small orphange/medium sized hamplanet.
He also had this nasty habit of getting Drunk AmnesiaTM and not having any memory of what he did.
So I treat a random Wednesday like any other day. Get up to leave, BB asleep, thanks cheezus Go to class Come home, still asleep
I do what I do, and notice around 6 that BB is missing. Score! I hop on the TV, play some games, enjoy my alone time and go to bed. No worries. I sleep well, get up and do my morning routine. What the FUCK is that smell? It smelled like sour milk mixed with fetid cheese and hot garbage all blended together. I check BB's bed. He's not there which isn't uncommon. I decide its bathroom time, shower, teeth brushing etc and that's when I see it!
BB is passed out cold in the middle of the bathroom floor (which is shared on the floor by probably 6 dudes) in just his boxers and this ungodly smelling pink, chunky physics defying fluid. My friends were all engineers and we lived in an engineering frat house so of course we measured the puddle. It was a 3 foot circumference puddle of puke. I kid you not when this was the experience that finally showed me that the human body can contain so much more food and liquid than I had ever thought possible. Not to mention, some of the food was unchewed. I saw whole pickle slices, untouched on all their majesty perched atop some sort of mystery chunk, shining with pride that they had escaped The Chewing. Not to mention the vomit that BB had drunkenly rolled around in. Oh lord the stink I quickly do my business and get the fuck out, go to class and come back. BB is in bed, passed the fuck out. The whole floor now reeks and the bathroom still has Mt. Vomit in it. I notice the smell is now stronger over time. I look around my room... Motherfucker. This asshole woke up at some point and walked his vomit covered ass into our room, dripping stank and chunks all over the carpet, leaving a vomit covered hand print on MY refrigerator. I try to wake him up and just get grunting for my troubles. He got into his own bed covered in puke...gross as fuck
Finally about 6 pm ish, he wakes up. I proceed to tear into him along with about 5 of the other people in the house because the whole house smelled. He has to clean it up, complaining the whole time. I wore plugs in my nose for a solid day.
EDITS: Fat Finger Syndrome on my phone.
Submitted February 05, 2015 at 10:03PM by theFleaDog http://ift.tt/1Aw7SO3 neckbeardstories
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