TIFU by wearing my boyfriend's ex's underwear. tifu

About a year ago, I started spending the night at my boyfriend's house. We had been dating for a few months at this point, and three months before we started dating his ex broke up with him.

Innocently, one day I decided to borrow some of his clean clothes after spending the night. This meant I needed to borrow some of his underwear. I look into his drawer, and one pair of undies stood out from the rest. In the midst of his typical blue boxer briefs, a pair of comfortable looking boxers called out, so I decided to put them on. After I was fully clothed, I strolled out of the bedroom and went to his living room. I asked him why he never wore the boxers. His gaze turned to mild horror when he told me that they were, in fact, his ex-girlfriend's. He had never thrown them out ("It's a waste of clothes!") and the thought had never occurred to him to donate them. Since I donate clothes all the time, I decided to hang onto the underwear (after getting out of them quickly) so that the Salvation Army could benefit from them.

About a year passed; cue to last Wednesday when I was defrosting my refrigerator to go home for Christmas break. I removed my copious amounts of soda, and then I happened to notice that there was something in the freezer section of my fridge. The freezer is about the size of a sandwich (the homemade kind, not a fancy sub), and it has a little door. I opened the door and saw the boxers, frozen solid. The memories all came rushing back; thinking about how I needed to find something to absorb the water in the freezer that I could conveniently throw out, realizing I could use the boxers, deciding that the Salvation Army wouldn't want them anyway... I had swiftly thrown the boxers in the freezer, and promptly forgot them.

So now, a year later, I decided to rip them out without thawing the fridge further. This was a terrible decision, because chunks of ice from the boxers showered me, covering my face and even getting in my mouth. So technically, I probably got the ex's dead skin cells in my mouth after they were on my crotch a year earlier. After that, I threw them out, which I should've done a long time ago.

tl;dr Do not freeze your SO's ex's underwear, or you will get bits on you and in you.

Submitted December 20, 2014 at 09:08AM by UndiesWeirdo http://ift.tt/1DTcPCC tifu