Throwaway, for obvious reasons. I apologize in advance if this is the wrong place to post or I have broken any rules, I just wanted to vent to likeminded people. And sorry for the legnth. I started reading FPS way before I met this person, and that subreddit got me into this one, fatlogic. I don't have a specific "story" to tell so I'm posting here. I'm a current fat person (5'2 170 lbs), former shitlord (118 lbs) trying to regain control and these subreddits help keep me grounded in reality when fatlogic is around every corner, tempting you with its siren song "just eat the xxxxx, you've been through a lot - treat yourself, you deserve to make yourself feel better, give yourself this one little pleasure, you're beautiful just as you are, big or small" which would be ok if it wasn't all. the. damn. time. and negatively impacting my health. So, I'm struggling and I've always been struggling.
I've experienced fatlogic and the crabs in a bucket mentality at work before. My last major weight loss I went from 155 to about 125 and the whole way my (obese) coworkers were telling me they were concerned that I was starving myself, not eating enough because I was eating portion controlled lunches at 350-450 cals and turning down free donuts/muffins/bagels when they were provided. I get it, where I lived at the time this was the norm, strip malls, buffets and ginormous portions to match the ginormous people. Living there could skew anyone's perception of reality. They acted like it was a goddamn miracle, asking me how I did it and my honest answer was "eat less". Somehow that answer did not satiate them (teehee).
That brings me to my current situation, the reason why I gave the backstory is to illustrate the pressure from others and how it always feels like an uphill battle. I find myself living once again in my favorite city, which also consists mainly of shitlords. Good for encouraging weight loss, right? I wasn't fat when I got here but mental health issues combined with a neverending smorgasbord of culinary delights got the best of me and here I am. It feels crappy as a fatty being surrounded by slender, fit people but I don't fault them for it, I admire them for their dedication and strength and wish I had the same. Some of my favorite people in the world, my good friends are what they would call "anorexic bitches" and I absolutely hate that these wonderful vibrant multi dimensional human beings would be reduced to that label.
Ok, sorry to drag this on, I know you've been waiting for this part. Like I said, I got into Fatlogic/FPS before I met this person. Because of her I am now a subscriber of /r/tumblrinaction. I'm wondering, a lot of people mock these types online but do they actually encounter them in the wild? I hadn't, until I met her. Earlier in the year I started a new job at a new company and everything is great - wonderful people, fun work environment, go team spirit! I'm brought on to a small team where she and I are essentially equals, but she's been there longer. I thought she was cool at first, until I got to know her. She's basically the stereotype of a SJW, and a bully to boot:
-Around the same size as me, maybe a little bigger but she carries her weight better. Hourglass, but still fat.
-Multicolored hair, piercings and random refrigerator magnet tattoos -One of the first things she said that tipped me off "my bestie is naturally a size 18, that's just the size her body wants to be" -Every chance she gets she brings up the fact that she has a masters degree in creative writing -I can see her computer screen from where I sit, she spends the bulk (teehee x2) of her time on tumblr, jezebel and FB. -Speaking of websites, she referred me to this website chubbycartwheels dotcom OH GOD WHY DID I CLICK -She likes Tess Munster on FB, she wears an #EFFYOURBEAUTYSTANDARDS crop top (amongst others) to work with harem pants. Crop tops are never work appropriate, no matter your size! -Anytime I ever mention wanting to lose weight, like turning down free food because of that she has to say something about being happy the way you are -Everything is racist. As an upper middle class white woman, she's the authority on racism. Apparently everything I say is racist. -Correcting people's language all the time if they use what she deems to be improper words (whatever is offensive that day as it's always changing). -Hairy pits -Uses the term "check your privilege"
Why is she a bully? Well, she did call me a "literal garbage monster" and said I should slam dunk myself into a trash can because I said I was keeping out of the cops shooting blacks debate for my own sanity. Back story on that is my main priority is working on my fragile mental health right now, I'm experiencing lots of anxiety and when I waded into the street harassment debate it caused me undue stress, arguments and drama that wasn't good for me. I agree with her on the cops thing, I just can't get involved.
Once again I apologize if this doesn't entirely align with this subreddit's guidelines but she's driving me insane and I thought you guys would understand. I'm currently devoted to bettering myself, mentally and physically and I need all the support I can get. Working with this person makes it so much harder because she's always negative, always shames me for not being PC enough and whenever there's free food (always) she's encouraging me to eat it, because I should "love my body as it is". It would be fine if she kept all of this to herself but she feels the need to impose her standards on everyone else and I hate walking on eggshells around her.
Thanks for listening.
Submitted December 21, 2014 at 01:21PM by FAisCrayThrowaway http://ift.tt/1HiYMmh fatlogic
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