Long story short, I went today to get some vaccines done! Now this is a research-facility for infectious diseases so I guess I can't be too critical since patients aren't there for checkups. But I had to make a call and walked into what I can only guess is the break room and with my little eyes, I spied the "Diet Under Stress!"
Want to see the rules for this diet? I apologize in advance as 1. The picture quality I did get was utter crap (so no uploads), and 2. Was on a time limit!
If you eat something, and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal rule, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls.
Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice-cream on a spoon making a sundae.
Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice-cream, mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
Now, I understand this might be just a satirical "diet" for those in the medical field, but it wouldn't surprise me if this is how some people actually thought.
TL;DR: Went to get shots, stumbled upon FA's Holy Ten Commandments.
Submitted November 07, 2014 at 07:36AM by ArcticLeopard http://ift.tt/1pt8Gzc fatlogic
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