[Table] IamAn In-N-Out Burger Associate AMA! tabled

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)

Date: 2015-11-20

Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
Did you have any prior fast food experience to working at In N Out? If so, how does that compare to working there now?	No, I don't have any prior fast food experience, but I can compare it to experiences I've heard from other fast food employees. For one we work a lot harder than other fast food employees. I could go on for days about how diligent our job is. I'll just talk about QFC. Every work period a Divisonal manager comes and checks on our quality, friendliness, cleanliness. Down to how clean our walk in refrigerator is, making sure every associate is smiling, and that our burgers are served fresh with the In n Out quality just to state some basics. It's scored with the highest score being 100, my stores lowest score was 94, and our managers basically told us that we did horrible with that score. We're held up to a very high standard.
What exactly is a level 4? How does the level system work? Also how bad does the secret menu mess up your line when you guys are working, I've noticed a animal style order takes so much longer.	A level 4 is someone who is training on board aka dressing the burgers, and packaging them. The level system starts with level 1, and ends with 7 then goes up to managers who have their own separate level system. Every level has certifations they must receive to move up to the next level and get your raise. Nothing really per day messes up the line. Certain things take longer, and are pain in the asses for the associates, but nothing that's really ridiculous. Every level has something on the secret menu they hate. Fry people hate fry wells, and animal frys. Board people hate burgers cut in half or all separate bags. The cooks hate whole grilled onions. The lower levels hate root beer floats.
Have you read Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell? I think you would really enjoy the chapter "An orison of Sonmi".	So, I just read a summary of the chapter not sure if this is genuine or a subtle suggestion to get a life. Either way, sounds interesting I'll check it out thanks for the suggestion!
Does it make a ding noise when you get enough XP to go up a level?	HAHAHAHA. I wish! If the managers like you though they'll yell it through the stand, which causes a lot of drama, but oh well.
My stepson was looking to apply at our local In-N-Out. Any pointers? Thanks in advance!	Apply online, then about two days later go in to follow up on the application. They'll typically only schedule you an interview when you and if you go in to follow up. The interview process is simple. The questions are your basic interview questions. They look for friendly people with a great smile. My group interviews was with two other girls who had way more job experience then me, and could work more hours. They picked me, because I was the friendliest. So just tell him to make sure he's smiling and positive can't stress that enough.
Can I order roadkill style fries? If so what are they?	I heard that from customers that the original In N Out does roadkill style fries, but I don't believe it. Due to qualify we're not allowed to make them. I guess their animal fries with a meat patty and sliced chillies on top. Even if we can't make it for you it's definitely something you can order. Just order an animal fry with sliced chillies on top, and a meat patty on the side then just put your meat patty on your fries!
(1) Are the burgers fresh or frozen?	1) Fresh never frozen! We don't even have freezers in the stores.
(2) What kind of seasoning do they put on the burgers?	2) Just a blend of salt, and I'm pretty sure pepper.
(3) How long do they cook the burger on each side?	3) I honestly have no idea. I haven't worked grill yet, and I don't really pay much attention to the grill. If I had to guess I'd say 45 seconds each side, but seriously don't quote me on that.
(4) I never has the food at INO...what the hell makes it so special?	4) The environment to me is what makes us so special. No other place is going to really have the customers best interest in heart like us. Plus all our food is fresh so that's a plus.
Why are in n out employees the most friendliest fast food employees? Is it the pay, the food, or the environment?	I can't speak for my coworkers but I can speak for myself and say I love our customers. It's defiantly the environment. Our customers are so sweet, and we really get the chance to make a connection with customers and do whatever we can to make them happy. For me seeing people happy just because I through some extra fries in their bag to compensate for their long wait just makes me feel good. I don't know I'm a sentimental chick.
Awesome, thanks for answering! In n out will always hold a special place in my heart, Quick follow up question: what's the strangest thing you've heard when someone's tried to order from the secret menu or regular menu? One time, I've heard someone call the animal fries "chili cheese fries"	Everyone thinks we have chili cheese fries. I guess the spread looks like that to some? The weirdest is easily this man who approached the counter, and said "OINK!" I asked him why he oinked at me, and he responded with "I read on the internet if you oink at an order taker you can get bacon on your burger!" I laughed, and gave him a free shake since he made me laugh so hard.
I laughed, and gave him a free shake since he made me laugh so hard. You can do that? (:D)	We're told that we have the power to do whatever to make the customer happy. I go above and beyond. I'm always doing extra shit for customers especially if it's slow and I'm bored. I used to do trivia games in the dinning room for free shakes / animal fries, but my manager made me quit. I just fuck with our customers their pretty awesome.
Is the burger really coated with yellow mustard on one side before cooking and do they really use 60/40 beef?	Yes! If you resquest your burger Mustard Fried we do coat it with mustard. Also it you ask for it animal style we mustard fry your patties. Be sure to tell us if you don't like pickles on your burgers if you order it mustard fried though, because it comes with pickles! Also yes, we use 60/40 beef. Fun fact I had to text my store and ask them that question hahaha.
As In and Out has its Christian roots (something that non-Californians find surprising despite there actually being a lot of Christian conservatives in California vs its secular liberal stereotype), is there a lot of talk about Christianity on the job (especially compared to chik fila)? Oh and what do non Californian residents (both domestic and international) say to you about In and Out and its food?	Nah. It's actually against policy to discuss things like religion on the clock. The family that founded INO were religious, but it's definitely subtle. Most people tell me they enjoy the food. I try to give customers the best experience especially if I know it's they are out of state. So I people usually compliment me more on my service then tell me about their food honestly. A lot of people don't like our fries though, which can be pretty hit or miss. So eh.
As someone who has never eaten at an In-N-Out Burger, I have to ask: does it really live up to the hype that it's garnered (on the internet)?	I personally love INO granted I grew up with it all my life. I think it's fresh, and that's the bottom line to it. Regardless if you don't like the taste of our food I feel like the environment, customer service, and quality make up for it. I've never met anyone who finds INO nasty at worst I've heard mediocre. End of the day it's burgers & fries.
Did you always plan to settle for a crap job or did you just recently give up on life?	It's not really a crap job. My head manager makes 100,000 a year. We get great benefits. In n Out is a great company to work for, and it looks great on a resume so even if I do decide to move on. My future employers can pretty much guarantee my work ethic. But you know, facts you probably didn't know.
Yeah, and as a level 4 you are making like $12 an hour, give or take. And with the cost of living ln cali that means you are living either at home with mom or with 33 other burger flippers.	Well I'm eighteen, and still in high school that's a lot more than anyone my age is making. I've worked at the company for a year and am 3 levels away from being a manager. That means by next year this time I could be nineteen making 50K a year, with full benefits and a 401K. Say what you want, but it's nowhere near a crap job. My manager runs a burger restaurant and makes as much as a doctor.
What shit show doctors are you going to? Good luck with that kid. Settling before your life even starts.	Both my head manager and my Divisonal manager showed their YTD pay stubs when I told them I was thinking about moving into management. Trust me they make as much as doctors. So I mean thanks, come by and grab a burger it's on me!
That's because they scoop the fresh fries just pulled over the old ones they're too cheap to discard. Like you won't notice it.	I don't know what INO you're going to, but we're not supposed to do that. That's just a lazy fry person. We're supposed to portion out a basket and you can't pull your next one until you've portioned out your last one. They're also supposed to discard of the chips on the bottom some people just don't do their job right which sucks.
It's mostly BK and jack in the box that do that, actually	Oh okay. Are fries can be pretty gross to be fair. We try, or well I try can't speak for everyone to give nice fries. But shit happens when it gets busy you kinda just put shit in bags & try not to dip your head in the fryer.
I've read through this thread and really admire your passion and vision! I worked in the food industry for five years before landing an engineering job and I still miss aspects of it. My question is, how did you land upon In-N-Out? Was it a random job that you came to love or did you have your sights set on it? Were you a fan of the food before you worked there?	Sweet thanks, that's a breath of fresh air since everyone has basically been bashing me. The story is actually funny. My parents were forcing me to get a job last year for my college apps. I'm pretty much a great student, and have been in lots of clubs so I didn't see the point. I applied to INO just so they'd get off my back and ended up getting the job. Never planned I'd fall in love with it.

Last updated: 2015-11-20 20:31 UTC | Next update: 2015-11-20 20:41 UTC

This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.

Submitted November 21, 2015 at 02:01AM by tabledresser http://ift.tt/1QTHl46 tabled

[Table] IAmA: I am Chef Mike, executive chef at Wüstof. AMA! tabled

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)

Date: 2015-11-06

Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
What inspired your love for cooking? When did you know you wanted to be a Chef?	2) The first thing I cooked I remember my mom was taking a nap and I was 4 years old. I made a fried egg. I'll never forget it it was really good but was a little crunchy and salty. When I was five I remember I made peanut butter for the first time on my own. The only mistake I made was I put flour in it, because my grandmother put flour in everything. I was a hungry chubby kid that wanted to cut out the middle man. I love food, I love to eat, and I just wanted to be able to do it for myself. 3) Barbecue, but I look to do seasonal cooking and use what's in season. This time of year everybody starts packing on the carbs. Lots of stews and soups. I kinda like to make what people are looking for and what people want to eat. You get a kinda satisfaction when you make 60 of something and you sell out.
What is an unconventional food item you like to use?	I'm a conventional guy, I'm from the Midwest. I like to use some of the sustainable fish that most people would throw back. There's a lot of things you can do with "rough fish". A lot of people say all you can do with blue fish is smoke it, or use it for fertilizer, but when prepared correctly and handled right, it's an awesome fish.
	Theer's a lot of fish out there that don't get the attention they should that are way more sustainable than a lot of the big sea food items that most people are familiar with.
Hi there, sous chef here based out of Boston. The kitchen is obviously a high stress place with the long hours and constant vigilance. What are some techniques you've used to avoid burn out?	One of the best things now is to work out, obviously I don't work out as much as i should but it's one of the best ways to relieve stress and get out of the kitchen. Also, have a hobby. Do something outside of the kitchen and get your mind active. In the kitchen your'e pretty sedentary. It's a totally different kind of tired than if your're riding your bike or going for long walks. So be active, especially in the Boston area, you have a lot of options there.
What is your go-to drunk meal?	Gosh that's a long time ago...the go to drunk meal is when you open up the refrigerator door and you just start creating. Sometimes great flavor come together that you've never even thought of. Usually a collaborative effort is even better because if you like it it's all you, and if you don't it's their fault.
I'm a young chef working at a very nice fine dining restaurant located in a hotel and have been for about 3 years. This was my first job out of culinary school and I've enjoyed a large majority of my stay. I have learned countless things under the chefs who have been willing to teach and lead me. Currently though the hotel was bought out by a different management company who seems devoted to eliminating the independent feel of the restaurant and implementing a very corporate structure. I can't help but feel this will dampen my creative drive and overall motivation to produce high quality cuisine. In your experiences, is it best to cut the cord and start fresh or adapt to the new environment?	For me, I always try to stay at least a year and a half, learn as much as you can. I would target places like hotels to get hotel experiencing, learn as much as you can. Chef's that have been around expect this and know this, and will pass their good chefs on to learn more. If you feel like you're being pulled back, you probably are and it's probably time to cut. Find a place that you want to work and and set up an interview. Let them know you're passionate, show them you want more than a paycheck. Give them your 5 year plan. When you have a plan, you're gonna have better results in the end.
What is your favorite dish to make?	My favorite dish to make is whatever I'm making for my family tonight. I know it sounds cheesy but it's true. If I'm making something for myself, it's probably barbecue because it takes hours and you get to drink beer the whole time.
I need a new knife set. If I were to get a block of knives for general kitchen use, what are the must haves?	I would probably start with the 7 piece block set. You're gonna get the three essential knifes for the kitchen. You're gonna get the chef's knife, bread knife, and a paring knife. It also comes with a utility knife, a honing steel, and a kitchen shear.
I have some cheap old kitchen knives from back in my college days that I don't know how to dispose of. What is the safest way to get rid of them?	That's a really good question. Goodwill, women's shelters, habitat for humanity should all take them as donations. If not, you can always take them to your local recycling center. Be responsible, don't throw them in a trashbag and hope for the best.
What's your favorite breakfast?	I'm old right now it's yogurt and fruit, but really my favorite breakfast has always been sausage, eggs, hash browns, pancakes, french toast, the whole bit.
My son Aiden, a High School sophomore in the Culinary program at the Orange County School of the Arts absolutely loves and swears by the Wustof Classic Ikon, so thank you for that! What Advice would you give to a young person with aspirations in the Culinary Arts?	You're gonna have to do a mix of school and book work, but more importantly it's repetition repetition repetition. Most importantly though, find a chef that is willing to mentor you, that can encourage you and spur you on and kind of keep you on the right road.
I only buy Wustof knives so thank you. What is your favorite 3 ingredient recipe?	My favorite three ingredient recipe would probably be tomatoes, basil, and fresh mozzarella. My backup answer is peanut butter and jelly.
What's your preferred method for keeping your knives sharp, and how often do you sharpen them?	Link to www.youtube.com Wusthof.com also has Knife Skill Academy, which has plenty of videos, and 12 more on the way!
It seems the key to success in the culinary industry is to work your way up then work out of it. Become an exec for a few years, become a sales rep, write a cookbook, get on tv, or get in with a company that provides other services for the industry like for instance a cutlery company. Even highly renowned chef owned restaurants will close or admit to poor profits. It seems kind of disheartening to think that the ultimate aim of my career is to make 60k a year working 80 hours a week, 6 days a week as your average exec or 30-40k a year as your average sous working 50-60hrs a week. Do you agree with this sentiment?	You hit it right on the head. You either love it, or get out. A lot of the older chefs sell food and produce, I said I would never do that. I ended up partnering with Wusthof. I still look at myself more as an educator instead of a coach, even though I work with sales now. If people buying is a byproduct of my education, then I guess you can call me a salesperson, but I don't look at it that way.
Love my Wustof block set, can you recommend or suggest proper way to sharpen and hone, and when or how often I should do either?	Link to www.youtube.com Wusthof.com also has Knife Skill Academy, which has plenty of videos, and 12 more on the way!
Any tips or tricks to sharpen your knives? I have an electric sharpener that I try to avoid because it shaves off too much steel, but I'm not great with my whetstones.	Link to www.youtube.com Wusthof.com also has Knife Skill Academy, which has plenty of videos, and 12 more on the way!
How do you finely chop your onions?	Link to www.youtube.com
What is your opinion of pull through sharpeners?	Link to www.youtube.com
What is your opinion of Anthony Bourdain and his writings? Do they reflect the culinary world accurately in your opinion?	Yes, absolutely, at least in my experience.
I've been wondering this question all this time and been wanting to ask someone like you... Is a hotdog a sandwich?	Anything between two pieces of bread is a sandwich.
I was given a free Wustof pairing knife with a purchase at a local kitchen store. My question is, what the hell should I be doing with this knife?	Link to www.youtube.com
If you were trapped on an island with former America's Funniest Home Video hosts Bob Saget and Tom Bergeron, and the island is overrun with dinosaurs, and they were going to hunt and you had to cook - and you had a $500 budget for cookware - what would you buy?	Asking the important questions
What's the best way to avoid injury while cutting? I recently bought my mother a new chef's knife after years of using tiny knives to chop up everything. However, she's terrified of the thing so safety is very important to her!	Link to www.youtube.com

Last updated: 2015-11-06 18:16 UTC | Next update: 2015-11-06 19:16 UTC

This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.

Submitted November 06, 2015 at 11:46PM by tabledresser http://ift.tt/1HhkxJ1 tabled

[Table] IAmA: We are the authors and editors of Object Lessons, books about the hidden lives of everyday things. Ask Us Anything! tabled

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)

Date: 2015-10-23

Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
Authors: How did you decide to use illustrations? Or if you didn't use them, why not?	From an editor's perspective, this has been a really interesting part of the series...seeing how and when the books benefit from illustrations, and when the prose is better off speaking on its own... We decided at some point not to impose a strict rule on this, and let each author make the decision more or less on their own (we weigh in, of course), but illustrations also get tricky because of copyright/permissions issues, so sometimes (I'm thinking of SILENCE) there were great images that just didn't make it in because it wasn't going to be easy enough to secure permission, etc. In other words, sometimes it's just a pragmatic issue, and other times we have more philosophical conversations about when an illustration is illuminating, or distracting.
How did you cook up the idea for the series?	A few years ago I was reading and teaching a few books that had come out on "object-oriented ontology" (a philosophy movement, basically), and I liked the practical implications of the ideas—particularly as they related to humanities scholarship. (I write about airports, so I've always had a material culture bent of sorts.) When my editor at what was then Continuum Publishing asked me to propose a new series of books, I thought of short books on single objects. The vision was crystal clear from the beginning. Then Ian and I joined forces and he helped me really refine and focus the idea. Then we launched, and the rest is history—so many authors, it turned out, liked the idea of writing short books on single things.
So with such variety what would you say connects the books together (beyond good writing, format, design, etc)? Would the books work as a piece if you put them together into one book, for instance, or are they too varied for that?	Sometimes I think about them this way: REMOTE CONTROL and PHONE BOOTH could be bundled together. Maybe even with GLASS. That'd be like a "media studies" bundle. Or...WASTE and GOLF BALL could be bundled together, maybe even with SILENCE. This could be an "environmental studies" bundle. Or you could just have random bundles of the books and appreciate each one's virtues and voice. It's a great question, and one that we think about all the time as we continue to shape the series and consider new ideas for topics and titles.
Dr. Bogost – First: thanks for everything. I'm currently teaching procedural rhetoric in my composition class and the students are coming along fantastically. Next semester I'm teaching a class called "Object Research" in which two of the required readings are from the Object Lessons series. It’s going to be great. Second: about myself. I’m a budding rhetorician entirely fascinated by Object Lessons and OOO. Looking into doctoral programs where I can feed this fascination. Do you have any program suggestions for a nascent academic looking to do research into OOO specifically? Do any such programs exist? Do you teach OOO classes at Georgia Tech? Etc.	This all sounds so great! (I'm poaching Ian's question here because he had to step away; he'll be back eventually.) Just wanted to say: I'm teaching a similar class right now at my university and it has been a blast. I've heard from several of our Advisory Board members that they are cooking up similar courses at their universities, too. It's a great 'field' or area of study because it can be so easily scaled up to graduate seminar level, or formatted as a first-year seminar, or creative nonfiction, or for an anthropology course, or for cultural studies...it's got so many opportunities for students and scholars to read, think, and write in a mode that is at once accessible and yet open to the great outdoors, the big zoom out.
The design definitely serves as an effective thread of the series. Any ideas on where the series is in answering that question?	I also think one working answer to that question has been each writer discovers a balance—sometimes an awkward or tense one—between the personal and the out-there, the objective or detached world of the thing. It can't simply be one way or the other: pure history (as if), or pure autobiography (also fraught). These books each gravitate toward a curious mesh of these aspects.
How do the books respond to each other as a series so far? Are they stand alone features or do they indirectly build on one another as they go?	Our books end up speaking to one another in completely surprising and unexpected ways. For example, GLASS talks about beach glass or sea glass, and WASTE ends up on the beach at one point, looking at similar detritus. But we don't plan it; it just happens as the writers get closer to their objects, or let the objects draw closer to them...
I have just finished writing my own book and I'm ready to find an editor. My problem is that since it is my first book, I'm not confident enough to justify spending $1000+ on an editor. Also, I'd rather not ask my friends and family for advice because I don't think they can be subjective enough to give me good feedback. What other options can you suggest for me?	I would focus on trying to find a publisher that specializes in whatever topic or genre fits your book. Then ask the publisher whether you can submit your manuscript directly or whether you need an agent to submit it for you. There are so many interesting small and big and medium-sized publishers out there; look hard enough and you will find one that's potentially a good fit.
What's the weirdest proposal you've received so far for the series? and what's the most boring?	We have an intriguing proposal on "EVERYTHING" in the works...which could either be the weirdest and best or the most boring! We'll see how it turns out...
Ian, I've read your book Alien Phenomenology and I really liked it. Can you talk about the link between OOO and object lessons?	(It's such a great book. When I first read AP it suddenly made me realize why I'd been obsessed with airports for so long, and what I was doing writing about them.)
Hello, how's you're day going?	My day is okay, thanks! It's balmy with low fast-moving clouds in New Orleans. Yours?
Weather is the best. Everybody likes talking about weather. It's like talking about nothing, except, it's everywhere. Maybe someone should do a book on weather.	Don't we have a book on WEATHER in the works?
It's 11 and 15 painfully hunger filled minutes til lunch, I'll probably get a pizza. It's around 75 degrees with high flying cirrus clouds here in nashville. I have no questions relating to your book since I've never read it yet. Buuut, I do have a question for you. What inspired you to be a writer?	Well on this series I primarily act as an editor, but I also write my own books and essays, and as for what inspired me to be a writer...well actually for me it's kind of like breathing: it's just happens, it's the best way I know to express myself and work out ideas. (And as with air quality, altitude, or if you're under water, sometimes it's still harder than at other times to write!)
What's the coolest thing you discovered about your object during the writing of your book?	This is a great question. I'm waiting for an answer!
That's it for me as I need to return to the conference I'm currently skipping. This was fun. Thank you questioners. Thank you other authors. Thank you again Ian and Chris.	Thanks Jonathan! PS a few of my students read & presented on REFRIGERATOR this week in my class, and they loved it!
Book trailers can be extremely effective and in my opinion could stand to be used more often. Phone Booth's trailer definitely has compelled me to have an interest in them. I love the idea of them being private places in public spaces.	Totally. We hope to see more and more book trailers for the OL books. I was blown away when I saw the first two, for PHONE BOOTH and SILENCE.

Last updated: 2015-10-23 17:54 UTC | Next update: 2015-10-23 18:04 UTC

This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.

Submitted October 23, 2015 at 11:24PM by tabledresser http://ift.tt/1OMEjyF tabled

[Table] Reddit people! I am sick and tired of the misconceptions and lies spread about the food industry. I am here to help clear up any questions you may have! IamA Food Scientist AMA! tabled

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)

Date: 2015-08-14

Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
A few questions please: (1) Can you give us a few examples of the misconceptions/lies about the food industry you speak of? (2) GMO foods...good or bad? (3) Pink slime in hamburgers...good or bad? (4) What do you think of the Moody Blues? (5) Is it ok to make a bolgna sandwich with Hellman's mayo for lunch at work, yet not refrigerate it, then consume it? (6) Are we all being paranoid by the handling of raw chicken and cross contamination? (7) Is it true about being able to leave McDonald's food out in the open for over a year and it doesn't decay much? (8) Worst date you've ever been on? (9) Should I use painter's masking tape or just be very careful when I paint a room with a lot of windows? (10) Do we wash our hands too much? - Thanks!!	GMO is the biggest topic I see brought up today. PERSONALLY, I believe GMO is the future. The problem associated with GMO from a SCIENTIFIC stand point are not negative with consumption; it is a POSSIBLE negativity with environment and business practices. People talk about how Monsanto wants to ruin the world with their death food. That most certainly is not the case. If you want to argue their business practices are horrible that's one thing, but from eating the food stand point study after study shows its safe. The question arises from releasing and removing common species of plants in the environment. Take a tomato for example. You have hundreds of different tomato species now. If a virus hits and wipes out 10-20% of those species, you still have a good amount of viable tomatoes left. This MAY NOT be the case in using a single, GMO tomato (is the argument). We could potentially wipe out entire lines of food crops through one disease that can spread rampant. This is just one example. However, with proper handling and upkeep I doubt this will be an issue, but it is ALWAYS good to look into the future. Bill Nye is a perfect example of this.
	3.) Pink slime: well the name itself... horrible. We didn't do ourselves any services by calling the stuff that. The truth is, this is a good thing. Basically, what happens with the beef these days is everything is processed separately (not like 100 years ago). These items are added back into the meat to give them things like flavor, protein, texture and organoleptic additions. They make the overall product you are used to. The problem with this was how the media handled it. No one complains when you mix a bunch of things into a sausage and stick it in a natural casing (i.e. intestines). But take the media saying "pink slime" and all of a sudden its a HORRIBLE thing.
	5.) The bologna question is a hard one to answer. The real question is how long has the bolgna been sitting out, how old is the bolgna to begin with, what temperature is it sitting at and for how long? There is ALOT. I would always gear towards safety and heres my thought: If its a risk, why try it? Everything may be fine, or you may end up blowing up a toilet for the next week. I prefer to stick it in a fridge!
	6.) Cross contamination is a VERY real thing. BUT, cook your chicken and you will be fine!
	7.) The McDonald's food question is a yes and no. Yes, McDonald's takes EVERY precaution possible to ensure its food is safe and because of this it limits the growth of organisms. Even if its not decaying by sight, it doesn't mean its safe to eat!
	8.) Worst date: A girl asked my friend for me to take her to dinner. It was so bad I ended up calling him directly after to tell him I'm never taking her out again and she was boring and even though she was super hot, it wasn't worth it... while she was in the car with me still... while he was on Bluetooth. It made it... awkward.
	9) ALWAYS use painters tape. The extra hour can really make the difference on you either spending 4 hours doing touch ups, or just being overall unhappy with your work!
	10) I am an over-hand washer, but I don't use Antibiotic handsoap.
(5) Is it ok to make a bolgna sandwich with Hellman's mayo for lunch at work, yet not refrigerate it, then consume it? I feel like your answer to this missed what I wanted to know which is about the mayo being unsafe, not the bologna.	The mayo has a high amount of vinegar. It will probably be safe to eat in that time, but again, why risk it?
But, seriously, are the 5 hours of unrefrigerated time really that concerning? I ask because I have office thieves that raid the refrigerator. I've seen them do it! I would much rather keep a sammich at my desk.	The normal assumption is anything held at room temperature for 4+ hours is the "danger zone".
Would you then say foods that are label Organic or Chemical Free are just marketing points, which really doesn't make a difference in people's health vs foods that may have had pesticides sprayed on or sausages with niacin(other "bad" additives)?	IMO there is no such thing as a good or bad additive in that sense. Chemical free is a choice for consumers. What most consumers don't realize is what does the term Organic mean?? Organic what? Who's organic? There is also a sub category of organic that never gets talked about publically (90%, 95% or 100% organic). Just because its organic doesn't mean its 100% organic.
	This is 100% a marketing thing, but that doesn't mean its bad or good. Everything is marketed. I personally don't buy organic or chemical free.
Lets talk about ecoli in the beef industry. What's the deal, can we not not get shit in our beef?	Here's the problem with that exact question: This is a COMMON pathogen associated with cattle. On top of that, not all E.coli is dangerous. But to the main point you're probably asking is why is it there. I believe we need to view the issue in a different manner: Since it commonly is found in live cattle, it is nearly impossible to assume you can kill it all. Because of this we should find ways to help minimize the RISK associated with illness. People hear e coli and freak out (rightfully so) since non-pathogenic versions are hardly every worried about.
	The beef industry goes through GREAT measures to reduce this risk. They add processing aids to help kill bacteria (like PAA, ASC and so on). Odds of completely eliminating it are VERY low. But, odds of reducing the risk greatly between proper handling and cooking should keep it safe for consumption!
I like that you're saying everything is okay in moderation - how many energy drinks is within moderation? If I love Monsters, could I drink them on a daily basis?	Ummm.. So Monsters/ redbulls are probably not an everyday thing. Mainly the high amounts of sugar and stimulants involved. This will become additive in the sense that you may become sluggish or have a "hazy" tired feeling when not consuming them. That being said, I drink redbull and monster. Just not daily. I use them as a "last resort" for the extra kick I need when I'm just exhausted.
	Maybe 1-2 a week. But that is more the stimulants than anything! I always prefer to never be DEPENDENT on an item. A great example of this is coffee: studies have shown coffee gives you cancer, prevents cancer, leads to a longer life, kills you at a young age and so on. Again. Moderation is almost always the key!
Would you say that the labeling of things is getting out of hand (e.g. Eggs in the shell as "Gluten Free", when obviously that is going to be the case), and what should be done about that?	The problem with that labeling is people aren't sure what is and isn't actually gluten free. You may know, but that doesn't mean the average consumer does. So the companies label it. Whether it is to give them a competitive edge in sales or to make the consumer aware.
Why does organic milk have a significantly longer shelf-life (sell-by/use-by date) than your run-of-the-mill milk?	I am not 100% certain all organic milk has a longer shelf life than normal milk. Milk is one of the most regulated food products in the world. The main problem with milk pasteurization is that it kills everything. This allows a completely clean slate for new bacteria to come in and grow. This may be what you are experiencing. There is not competition between organisms so anything that drops inside your run of the mill milk will usually grow. It has all the requirements for bacteria. Water, a food source etc.
What does your typical work day look like? "Food Scientist" is kinda vague, what are your responsibilities?	I do A LOT! I help with RnD of new products, I help design and follow guidelines, I help with shelf-life testing and microbiology. Basically a company may call me for advice, for science tests or for anything inbetween. A typical day varies based on that.
	But most of the time a company will call me with a product and ask me to help formulate the product to meet their needs (salt, shelf life, flavor, etc). From there I will fly to their plant, review their process and make any changes or variations I see fit. I am a BIG believer in the statement "One scientific test is worth more than 1000 expert opinions" So I ALWAYS prefer to test scientifically.
I don't know if this pertains to what you do, but it's a question about the food industry. This is true across the board; oven fries are just my example. Why so many additives in American food when, as the European food supply proves, they are not necessary and are just an added expense?	The next question you are asking about is lifestyle more than anything. Most Europeans shop 2+ times a week. Their food is designed around this. Also, Americans spend DRASTICALLY less of their income on food. The systems are different so this is like comparing apples to oranges.
When we lived in the UK, all the frozen oven fries contained nothing but potatoes, salt, and oil. It's all you need, really. Here in the US, you CANNOT get frozen oven fries without some additives, generally preservatives and coloring, besides that. Even organic oven fries have apple juice concentrate added for color. I thought the baking was supposed to make the fries brown? And the darn things are frozen, why do you need preservatives? Even if you don't believe they are unhealthy, the additives cost something; why not just leave them out?	The apple juice concetarte for color isn't to change the color of the product, its to KEEP it from changing. They are using this as an antioxidant in order to keep the flavor from going rancid and the color of the potato from turning brown. Just because they are frozen on your end doesn't mean that it came out of the ground that way. They normally use these products in between the freeze and after the wash. Although a brown potato is Perfectly safe to eat, people avoid it because its brown.
	TRUST ME. When it comes to food safety it is 100% a cost!!! If the ingredient's didn't do something they most certainly WOULD NOT be put in. I deal with companies who will turn down an additive based on a fraction of a penny.
Fraction of a penny on one bag can equal serious funds after a shit-ton are sold.	Yup. Example. Large poultry processors can handle over 30 million birds a WEEK. Times that by 0.005... cha-ching.

Last updated: 2015-08-14 16:30 UTC | Next update: 2015-08-14 16:40 UTC

This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.

Submitted August 14, 2015 at 09:46PM by tabledresser http://ift.tt/1HLB0P1 tabled

[Table] I willingly (and comfortably) live out of my car, AMA! tabled

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)

Date: 2015-06-11

Link to submission (No self-text)

Questions	Answers
Where do you park when it's time to sleep? Does anyone, civilians or police, harass you?	Best place to park is a 24-hour Walmart. They usually have semi truck drivers park overnight in the back, so I stick over in that direction. There's a security truck that drives by, but that's just to make sure no one's breaking into stuff.
	Rule of thumb is not to park on public property or on the street, or the police will bother you. Other private property is kinda iffy, but really, any supermarket parking lot is usually fine, so long as I park in the back and stay out of the way, and of course don't cause problems.
	Main thing is, if the Walmart isn't open 24 hours, it's probably because it's a high-crime neighborhood, in which case it's best to find another part of town to park for the night.
How do you deal with romantic encounters? Do they ever want to come back to your place? What do you do/say?	I'm actually living like this right now for the purpose of actually getting some money saved up. I rent a mailbox for a mailing address, got a gym membership for a shower, and a storage unit or my stuff I don't need on a regular basis, and all that's a ton cheaper than renting an apartment (I live in Virginia Beach).
	I don't plan on doing this forever, and yes, it puts a damper on any attempts at romance. But to be honest it hasn't really come up.
	I started doing this as a necessity when I moved to the area looking or work, but now I find it's better to keep doing it until I can get a reasonable nest egg saved up, so I don't wind up in the same situation later on down the road.
it hasn't really come up. I can't imagine why.	Lol I never had much luck with romance anyway.
What if you're detected? Or is that not illegal where you are?	I sleep on private property(Walmart), whose owners allow people to sleep in their vehicles (cars or semi trucks) in their parking lot. If they dont want me there, the will ask me to leave, and I will.
What kind of car if it's so comfortable?	It's a 2013 Sonic LT, nothing fancy. I just put the seat back when it's time to sleep, a couple pillows and a blanket, crack the windows to let a breeze in to stay a comfortable temperature.
Were you financially forced to live in your car or did you make the choice on your own?	It started out as a necessity after I moved to the Virginia Beach area, but right now I'm staying this way so that I can get some money saved up, I wouldn't be able to save much of anything if I got my own place.
What kind of diet do you have? Are you avoiding refrigerated products or getting a lot of fast food?	I ate a lot of McDonalds dollar menu even when I had my own place, but right now I'll eat light for most of the day (mostly bread, I eat about a loaf a day) with one more reasonable meal in the evening (maybe a couple McChickens).
	At work there's microwaves and refrigerators, so I can get a weeks' worth of something frozen, like pot pies or hot pockets, and keep them there for lunch each day, or even eat a hot breakfast like oatmeal before work.
What about mail?	I rent a mailbox from a local UPS store. It's as good as a physical address from most things. Not good to just have a PO box though.
For those looking into this particular lifestyle, do you have any tips and or suggestions? How have you enjoyed it so far?	Its fine if youre just looking to save some money at the expense of home comforts.
What do you do for work?	I'm a bankruptcy clerk. Well, I start Monday, anyway.
Newport News here, where in VA beach are you at??	Virginia beach blvd and military hwy.
I know where you live, I'm coming for you.	Oh dear, whatever shall I do?
How old are you and have you ever had problems with the police?	28, no problems.
Cool, check out /r/vandwellers.	Will do!

Last updated: 2015-06-12 09:29 UTC | Next update: 2015-06-12 10:29 UTC

This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.

Submitted June 12, 2015 at 02:59PM by tabledresser http://ift.tt/1Sa8gaP tabled

[Table] IAmA KFC cook ask me anything tabled

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)

Date: 2015-01-30

Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
How hygienic would you say the cleaning and cooking process is?	Well it all depends on how busy the day is I have seen some employees who rarely wash their hands and start cleaning things. Not caring about all the bacteria that is getting spread around the store. But when we do clean we use cold sanitizer and the same towel over and over again until it is either super dirty or someone throws it out to get another one. So, all in all I have to say we are not the dirtiest out there but sure not the cleanest. Same thing goes with the cooking process people tell me I wash my hands too much, but i feel that if you dont wash your hands enough you have a higher probability to have cross contamination and get others sick.
What do you eat at KFC? If anything. (Or what should I get?)	Well, the only thing I eat at KFC is grilled chicken when it is freshly made. If it is not, I tend to stick to strips, or hot wings. What should you get, well if you head to KFC at night only get original chicken (all the other things tend to be sitting there for awhile). If it is during the day stick to the original chicken, or the mash potato bowls and strips.
All the items have a limited life time, if they are sitting there for awhile, then those items must be discarded. If your restaurant is not doing it, it is an operation error.	That is true, but upper management is always concerned about the food cost. So, most of the time the RGM or the manager on duty changes the hold time on our product until we sell the product. Unless, we know we are getting a food inspection soon that is when our shift supervisors follow the proper hold time procedures and lets us discard food.
That's the reason of why a brand begins to deteriorate.	One of many man.
Are there any shady practices that go on/that you've witnessed in your time in the KFC kitchen? I'm talking more 'spitting in the soup' than drug smuggling but either will do. Thanks for doing this AMA.	The old General manager we had used to have tried to make me cook chicken that was expired. Told her if she eats a piece of I will serve it. Never did she take a bite out if it. Unfortunately, I don't know if the other cooks did the same thing. Never seen someone spit in food. Some of the employees that we have never wash their hands with soap, they just wet them with water for about 5 seconds. No problem, glad i could clear some things up.
What's your opinion on Church's Chicken and Popeye's? Or their chicken compared to KFC?	Never had Church's chicken before always passed by it. I always thought it was a little too ghetto from the outside though.
	Popeye's is amazing especially because they have fried shrimp. Never really ate the chicken there because I usually satisfy my appetite at KFC.
I've never been to a KFC before. What should I get and what should I avoid?	What should you get, well if you head to KFC at night only get original chicken (all the other things tend to be sitting there for awhile). If it is during the day stick to the original chicken, or the mash potato bowls and strips. Avoid, the pot pies it is made from left over chicken.
Just how "left over" is this chicken?	Anywhere from 8 hours to 3 days. After we close the chicken that we did not sell gets deboned, put in a bag and put into a refrigerator so we could use it for the potpies. If you are lucky though and we had no chicken left over for a few nights all we would do is make the chicken and debone it so we could put it in the potpies.
As long as the coolers are ~33 degrees Fahrenheit, the chicken should still be good. But if the chicken was sitting in a space with a temp. above, say, 46 degrees Fahrenheit, throw that shit out.	Key word "should" sometimes the chicken expires that day and we dont get to use it until three days later.
Does any of the chicken come in frozen? Do you have to bread the raw chicken? What would you say your lunch to dinner crowd ratio would be? 60% lunch 40% dinner? What kind of oil do you guys use to fry chicken?	The only chicken that comes in frozen and needs to be defrosted would be the strips and the bites besides that we have all the bulk amount of chicken in a fridge. Yes, I have to bread the raw chicken. Close but it is usually 60% lunch and 40% dinner we tend to slow down the later it gets. The oil that we use is Sunflower.
Can you tell us about any regulars or oddballs?	So, this one regular that we have always complains about his food and tells us he will never come back, but give it two days and he orders the same thing and the cycle starts all over again. We don't really have oddballs just people who are dirty.
Probably is trying to pull done freebies.	Haha, yeah it worked the first time he did it, but we caught on.
Do you consider yourself an actual "cook", when what sounds like almost everything is pre-made? Not meaning to sound like a jerk, I'm curious to the mentality of the people who prepare fast food.	Yes, to an extent. We do have to bread the chicken and make sure we have no marriages with the other pieces of chicken. If we mess up in this crucial step we will be getting complaints left and right. I feel like the only way I will not consider myself a cook is when we start using a microwave to heat our chicken up.
That makes sense I guess, how long do you think it'll be until microwaves or some technology akin to a microwave ARE used?	Hmm, great question... maybe when the profit margins are so low we can't afford the oil anymore.
Did you ever make your own "special" there utilizing ingredients in odd combinations that was good? For example a chicken strip sandwich on a biscuit with gravy?	All the time, now that we have strawberry puree I once made a strawberry shortcake using a biscuit (was not that good). Haha, i have tried that. I tired making a sandwhich out of a biscuit. Grilled strips they taste pretty similar to the grilled filets we use to have.
What do you really want to do in life?	Well, I graduate college this year with a bachelor's in Biology and I plan on attending Med School right after. If I don't get in I will be working for Budweiser as a brewer.
	TL/DR: Doctor or a Brewer
How much does each piece of chicken cost to make? (Chicken, ingredients, and labor, etc.)	Each case of chicken is around 54 bucks ($5.40 cents a bag of chicken and each bag contains either 12 or 16 pieces of chicken.) The ingredients cost around $20 usually last around a day and a half, and I get paid $9.
What is the secret herb you use in your recipe?	It comes pre-mixed in already. All we do is combine flour, salt, milk and egg mix, and the original recipe seasoning it has a lot of pepper though.
Where did the boneless wings go? The Honey BBQ ones were awesome.	No idea where, the only logic that i can come to is that we were not selling enough of them. It is all about profit. Agreed, they were pretty amazing.
Do you feel guilty when you serve Double-down and Double-dogs?	Never served double-dogs I think only Japan has them, but for the double-downs I actually think they are pretty good so no guilt there.
Are they still served at all?	We don't have them.
I love KFC Biscuits, is there a secret recipe or can you really make them on your own? I was told it was a premix.	No secret recipe, they come frozen in a box. We just put them in a oven for 16 mins and they are ready.All we do to them after is add butter to them.
Oh wow. I was expecting a "They are super secret you can't have my recipe!" or something! Thanks.	Hahah, no problem!
Do you get a discount at KFC? If so, how large is it?	Huge discount. As long as it is not big buckets of chicken I get food for free.
Do you know how the gravy is made, or does it come pre-prepared? That stuff is delicious!!	It comes in a powdered mix all we do is add 3 quarts of hot water that is at 159°f and above and stir.
A mate of mine in Australia says that they normally scrape the bottom of the cooking vessel to make mash. Is that true?	Yuck, no not at all. The mash and gravy comes in powdered form. We just add hot water. The only thing that we put in the mash is a little bit of butter.
Should I still get chicken littles plain?	Yes!! Just ask for dipping sauce if you get it plain though.
What is the spicy-sweet condiment sprinkled on the Extra Spicy Fries? It's delicious.	Our store doesn't carry extra spicy fries. TIL extra spicy fries sound delicious.
Why does kfc in america get nice looking potato wedges but we in the UK only get bland cardboard ass french fries?	I have no idea. If i were to make an educated guess it might have to deal with the shipment.
Is there any truth to KFC changing their name go just initials and not calling it Kentucky Fried Chicken anymore? Are there any other misconceptions of the company you'd like to squash? Also, how much do you make?	Not too sure. The chicken that we use is not gentically modify. Hourly 9 bucks been there for almost 5 years.
Are you sad that what you are cooking is not Col. Sanders recipe? Did you know that KFC sued him when he complained?	It isn't? Do you have any proof of this?
	Really!?
Check Wikipedia to start, its in the section of his later career.	You might have missed read it but what I have gathered from there is that Claudia Sanders Dinner House serves his "original recipe" fried chicken as part of its (non-fast-food) dinner menu, and it is the only non-KFC restaurant that serves an authorized version of the fried chicken recipe.[31][32]
	TL/DR: Basically KFC still follows the recipe, and the Sanders Dinner house.

Last updated: 2015-01-30 22:20 UTC | Next update: 2015-01-30 22:30 UTC

This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.

Submitted January 31, 2015 at 03:51AM by tabledresser http://ift.tt/1Kf0d6N tabled

[Table] I am a 26 y/o that grew up in a meth lab. I can make explosives, pick locks , hot wire cars and can do so much more. I am the general trouble maker ask me anything! tabled

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)

Date: 2014-12-30

Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
What was it like growing up in that situation? Did you have access to the lab, or was it in, say, a shed outside the house? We're there ever any instances in which the chemicals (and fumes) involved in production were vented through the house?	It was ... weird. It was in the basement so fumes were a constant problem ,it smells like cat piss ,burnt wires, and matches. And no we weren't allowed to go into the basement.
	My dad's girlfriends were one of the worst problems constant fighting (like the kind where guns and knives were pulled) I learned to lie to the police when and ask for a warrant when I was 10. And there were constantly people at my house.
	But the thing about meth heads is that they always had shit to trade (xbox, ps2, motorcycles ,guitars. ..ext)so we always had fun shit in the house!
	The worst part was that there was never any food. My brother and I had to take care of ourselves all our lives . He would cook for me (my big brother ) and hangout in my room when shit went down. We both went to work at 15 (he was 17 when I went to work) just so we could feed ourselves. Hell my brother taught me to read.
What situations have you used these skills for? Do you ever use it for professional work?	I have done all kinds of crap. B&E ,gta , legal demolition, illegal sabotage ,homelessness, survival, camping, "shopping ". And yes I use my skills all the time at work. Say someone skipped on their rent but also changed the locks so we don't have a key ,I pick the lock.(locksmiths get expensive when you have to call them every week)and if they still live there and won't take the chain off their door I climb up and open there sliding glass doors (usually overlooked ).
Have you taken any of those skills learned and applied them to something that's legal?	Oh yes so much crime ! my father and I used "acquire" cars When I was younger.he worked for a tow truck company and that's how I learned to hot wire cars . And also how to deal with people who run chop shops. I used to break into stores to take cigarettes , liquor, electronics ,really anything you can sell out of your car.
	I just realized I misread you question. Yes I have its actually how I got my current job as a maintenance man.
How do you hotwire a car.	If you can't start it by beating a screwdriver into the ignition and turning like a key. Take off the panels around the steering column and cut and strip the two red wires for power then twist them together then cut and strip starter wires and touch them together until the car starts. Or you may have to connect the battery wires to the ignition and the touch the starter wire to the others till the car starts. Easy peasy.
Is lock picking worth learning? Actually, better question: do you have any unusual skills that you would most recommend the average person learn?	Yes it is worth learning I left my keys at home today and had to pick the lock when I got home 20 min ago lol. As for unusual skills not really , learn to lie and learn to fix things. I guess I don't know what you mean buy unusual . I mean I can make water filters out of scrap, I can build electric generators from scrarch. I'm a pretty good handyman so yeah.
Where would one learn to pick a locker other than video's on YouTube. Any recommendations? Perhaps find a lock picker to practice with?	Any locksmith anywhere. That is probably the best way to learn and if you get along with the locksmith well enough he may just give you a job.
Quality point, that. I guess I meant like most people can tie their shoes, probably fewer can pick locks or make explosives.	Well I can track animals in the woods and that comes in handy when your camping or homeless .I'm really good with a knife ya know throwing and such. If I had to recommend a skill to learn it's how to rewire your stuff,like your house ,cords,stove,refrigerator stuff like that you can save a lot of money lol.
Awesome advice. Thanks a bunch! Now I just gotta pretend like I locked my keys in my apartment. I'm sure that this approach works much better with women.	Well let's hope.
How old were you when you moved out of the meth lab?	Well the funny thing is I didnt. When I was 16 my dad moved in with his girlfriend leaving me and my brother in the house so we just kinda took over paying the rent and we lived there until my dad came back and "accidentally" started another lab and burned the house down.
I love how building the meth lab was the accident, not burning the house down.	Right!
Have you ever been, or are you currently a meth user?	Oh fuck no I saw what it did to my mom and dad and just never touched the stuff. Except for this one time my dad made coffee with the filters from his lab and I unknowingly drank the coffee on my way to school... the was an interesting day.
Sorry about your parents but good for you!	It's OK my grandmother is the bomb though . She is the reason I turned out half decent.
Do you still get any trouble from people who recognize you? From either law enforcement or meth addicts	Oh dear god yes. The law knows me because of my dad and to a lesser extent myself. If I get pulled over in my home town REGARDLESS of what I did to get pulled over my car gets searched. But when meth heads recognize me the always want a few bucks.
That sucks. I can imagine getting pulled over and searched all the time gets really tiring, and why some people fight the police even when they have done nothing wrong. I kinda feel you should write a book with lots of amusing drawings in it.	Well I am check the title text I posted a pic of a page in my journal!
Accidentally setting up a meth lab "there I was with some funnels and tube and nothing to do that day so..."	" I don't know officer ,fucking one thing led to another "
Yeah I guess i meant more comic of situations you have been in, not so much a guide to living. Your journal would be a great book to survival by the sounds of it, in case of zombies or tax evasion.	Yup.
Any tips on being a better liar, I'm quite terrible I'm told.	Believe what you are saying. Stay relaxed, and be comfortable with your words. Keep the normal amount of eye contact. Keep it simple and it helps to have a friend who will back you up.
Thank you for this. I'm also a terrible liar. My profession requires me to tell half truth's all the time and it always made me wonder how the hell my boss can keep a straight face with the things that he says. Apparently believing what you say can work. I never really thought about it that way.	Yes sir.
What do you use pick a lock? Can you do it with a paper clip?	I use the jackknife lock pick set and I love it and yes I can and no its not easy. Link to www.lockpickshop.com
What if you don't have your lock pick set on you?	I keep it in my wallet. And if I still don't have it I can open a door with a card, thin piece of metal, a shovel...ext.
I don't know, I'm pretty sure I could open a door with a shovel.	It's no hard. haha.
Did you ever have any negative health effects from breathing in smoke? I remember hearing that second hand meth smoke is superduper dangerous (obviously, it's meth...)	Some breathing issues and my brain goes funny sometimes but nothing to bad . I don't have the best teeth but that's because my dad wasn't big on buying us tooth paste. ..or toothbrushes. ...or food.
I'm a sad panda...	Naw it's cool I'm awesome!
Thanks for the reply! I'm glad you're doing well now! I was thinking about that green dog from that 2000s movie "Spun". No green pets, right??	I had a silver dollar turtle that I kept in one of those big pickle jars.lol.
What's the most illegal thing you've done (that you can share)?	I won't tell you the most illegal thing but I did get caught by the police making nitroglycerin. ... and beating a man bloody for...reasons
Whats your favorite food?	Crab Rangoon and general tso's chicken with fried rice . Or barbecue
Thanks bbq chicken is a great idea.	Glad to help.
You're like the edgy, 2014, HBO McGyver	Hahahaha well I don't like to invite that comparison but... Edit . It's an archer reference.
What is your current source of income?	I'm a maintenance man for an apartment complex in the getto.
1) Do you do meth? 2) When you do these types of things, is it impulse to get money for drugs? 3) Do you ever steal a car to drive up and pick up a girl in? 4)Have you ever be caught or been to jail? 5) Have you ever been caught and picked the handcuffs to escape the cops?	No.
	No.
	No.
	Yes.
	And I tried. ...once.
	It used to be always about making money but never for drugs. Never been an addict.
Have you seen burn notice? You remind me of Michael Weston.	Naw but a buddy of mine loves that show.
You seriously need to watch that show. It's pretty solid.	OK sure why not lol.
I believe that this is a fairly accurate picture of what OP looks like.	HAHAHAHAHA I was drinking something man now I gotta clean my phone.

Last updated: 2014-12-31 00:50 UTC | Next update: 2014-12-31 01:00 UTC

This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.

Submitted December 31, 2014 at 06:20AM by tabledresser http://www.reddit.com/r/tabled/comments/2qvd3w/table_i_am_a_26_yo_that_grew_up_in_a_meth_lab_i/ tabled

[Table] I am Adam Mansbach, author of GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP and the new sequel YOU HAVE TO FUCKING EAT. AMA! tabled

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)

Date: 2014-11-19

Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
Do you see using words like fuck in the title of your books as a trademark for you as a writer? And have you gotten many reactions of people who are shocked by your titles?	For my obscene fake childrens' books, yes; that's sort of the calling card and also a reflection of the commitment to a no-holds-barred honesty. But titles are important in general, and even my literary titles tend to be fairly provocative.
	Yeah, there's been some shock, but most of it is accompanied by laughter. Not all, but most.
Aside from these books, which of your works are you most proud of?	I'm really proud of my novels, especially THE END OF THE JEWS, which is about several generations of a Jewish family of artists, and RAGE IS BACK, which is kind of a magic realist graffiti revenge novel.
	Oh, and my daughter. I'm really proud of her.
Was your book widely accepted or did it take some convincing to get people to think it was a good idea? Thanks for doing this AMA!	When it was published, it was widely accepted. Convincing a publisher to take a chance on it was harder, because nothing like it had ever been done, so there was no way to gauge whether anyone but us would find it funny. Luckily, it turned out to be a pretty universal sentiment.
Ohhh I could imagine that convincing a publisher would be very difficult in general. I love the concept and hope the best for you and your books. Thanks again!	The publisher who did step up, Akashic Books, is an awesome indie press in Brooklyn - check them out if you get a chance, they put out great stuff.
Hi Adam, big fan of your outside the box approach! Did you get many complaints about Go The Fuck To Sleep? And if so, were there any particularly emphatic complaints?	Thanks! We got some, but generally they were pretty silly - "I'd never read this book to a child!" Yeah, no shit. What blend of literacy and illiteracy would that take, given that it says "fuck" on the cover and "you probably should not read this to a child on the back?
You'd be surprised. Enter; anyone who let's television raise their children.	Nooo doubt.
I thought it might make you happy to know that I chose Go The Fuck To Sleep for my senior year English text analysis.	And you got away with that shit? Amazing.
Can you tell us what you're working on now?	Working on a couple of screenplays, one for director Vikram Ghandi, and a couple of middle grades series, one cowritten with Alan Zweibel and the other cowritten with Craig Robinson. And a sequel to THE DEAD RUN will be out early next year.
Hell yeah I got away with it. Two pages of ranting about juxtaposition and evocative imagery. 98% mark.	As someone who once successfully claimed that his cameo in "Back to School" constituted a "major work" or Kurt Vonnegut, I respect that.
How does writing a parody children's book compare to more serious work? Do things like writer's block and frustration still apply?	No, because they're written in quick bursts - an hour each for GTFTS and YHTFE, roughly. There's editing afterward, of course, but it's not the same long haul that a novel is, nor the same level complexity or character development.
How much rage went in to your first book?	A pretty decent amount. It took my daughter upwards of 2 hours to fall asleep. You lie there and your night vanishes and you love your kid to death but you're like REALLY? REALLY? I NEED TO TALK TO ANOTHER ADULT!
What are some of your favorite words to abuse?	Well, I'd like to think that I'm a fairly eloquent user of profanity, but i wouldn't say I abuse it. I do tend to say "word" a little more than is probably necessary, because I'm an 80s hip hop dude.
Did you ever find yourself hearing Samuel Jackson's voice while you were writing the second book? Or to put it another way, did the celebrity involvement in the reading of first book in any way influence the way you wrote or heard the voice of the second book?	Interesting question. No, not really - I pretty much just wanted to do justice to the topic and get the tone right. I didn't think about voices for the audiobook until it was finished and I had some distance from it. At which point, Cranston came immediately to mind.
How did you feel when Sam Jackson read your book out loud?	I was astounded. It was about 20 minutes before we did a launch event at the Ny Public Library - where I heard Werner Herzog's version for the first time. All in all, a pretty great hour.
Was it difficult to get such famous actors to voice the audio-books, or were they generally excited to do it?	They were! We have a great audio publisher, audible.com, but luckily the books seem to be attractive vehicles for heavy hitters like Sam Jackson and Bryan Cranston - which is thrilling for me.
If you could have one person, famous or otherwise, be the narrator of your life story, who would you choose?	I'm partial to Bruce Willis, since I've already burned through Cranston and Jackson on these last two books. He's the voice of my inner monologue, I'm pretty sure.
What is the most embarrassing thing you know about Joe Schloss?	That he was born Yosef Schlossberger and Anglicized his name in order to sound less Jewish. Unfortunately, he failed to take it far enough.
Have you ever actually read the book to your daughter in an attempt to get her to fall asleep?	Not in an attempt to get her to fall asleep, but in an attempt to convey to her why we live in a house rather than a discarded refrigerator carton.
What is your favorite dinosaur? Also, thanks for making these books! Go the Fuck to sleep was great! Giant pangolins of Madagascar!	I tend to favor Megalodon, a prehistorical shark the size of a school bus who some people believe is still alive and prowling the ocean's extreme depths.
Hi Adam. My wife and I both love Go The Fuck to Sleep and You Have to Fucking Eat. I'm a stepfather to my wife's kids, as such I missed a lot of the experiences that you talk about in the books, so I find it beneficial to have your books as a doorway to moments in my wife and kids lives. Thank you. How do you think your daughter will react when she understands that you've written books about your experiences with her? At what age do you plan on talking to her about the books (if she doesn't already know)?	Thanks! My daughter is aware of them - she watches the illustrations comes in, and she's pictured on the cover of the new book. She's also aware that the language in them isn't appropriate for her to use, that it's an adult joke even if it looks like a book for kids. In a nutshell, she's way more mature than I am.
Will there be a sequel to DEAD RUN?	Yes! I just finished it. It's called THE DEVIL'S BAG MAN and it will be out early(ish) next year.
Love both the books. Got plans for a third, if so what subject do you plan on covering?	It depends what kind of shit my kid gets into in the next few years. She's six now, so we'll see what the future holds...
Least favorite "classic" hip-hop album? (Besides the Cypress Hill album of course.)	I fux with the first Cypress LP. Hmm. As a grown man who isn't a misgynist, I have no use for Efil4zaggin these days.
Do you have anymore books like Go The Fuck To Sleep and You Have To Fucking Eat in the works?	Not yet, but we'll see what shenanigans my daughter gets up to in the next few years. I kinda gotta follow her lead.
Maybe Do Your Fucking Homework?	Definite possibility.
What is your favorite soup?	It's hard to beat a really good French Onion. Or a really good matzo ball.
Go the Fuck to Sleep was just fucking beautiful. It was so prettily illustrated and I thought it was fantastic, even before Samuel L Jackson read it. What made you think of it?	My daughter was two, and it was really my attempt to honestly render a parent's inner monologue and mash it up with a traditional bedtime book.
Can you write me a haiku for my cake day?	Happy cake day, dude.
	You have chosen to spend it.
	Wisely, with some guy.
Beautiful!	Had to edit it - there were six in the last line. Now it works.
Will you buy me reddit gold? Link to www.reddit.com.	No, but I'll buy you a can of Old Gold Malt Liquor, if they still make it.
Dude why not?	Because I don't really know what that means, for starters.
Well thanks for nothing Mr. Hollywood.	Have your people call my people.
Let's do brunch K?	I'm only eating things that don't cast a shadow these days.
A level V vegan I should have known. Only Richard Gere is known to have reached such a state.	He's sitting on my couch right now!
Well what the fuck should I eat? What's your favourite dinner?	I'm partial to a nice eggplant parmigiana.

Last updated: 2014-11-20 00:11 UTC | Next update: 2014-11-20 00:21 UTC

This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.

Submitted November 20, 2014 at 05:41AM by tabledresser http://ift.tt/11vqnCp tabled

[Table] IAmA: I am comedian Josh Blue. What's going on? tabled

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)

Date: 2014-11-05

Link to submission (Has self-text)

Questions	Answers
Josh, could you describe the impact being a member of the US Paralympic Soccer team had on you? Also do you think retired captain Josh McKinney deserves to be in the US Soccer Hall of Fame? What kind of impact did he have on you as a teammate?	It opened my eyes to what was possible in this world. I didn't even know there was a place for disabled people to play sports until I was out of college. The realization that for a little time I was one of the best CP soccer players in the world was a release for me. And Josh McKinney definitely deserves to be in the hall of fame...and I'm not just saying that because he's my best friend on the team.
What was it like spending time in Africa???	Living in Africa made me the man that I am today. Africa is a place that you cannot describe to anyone that has not been there. What Africa did for me, it made me realize that having a disability didn't give me an excuse to not succeed.
Do you have a regular slot at the improv or comedy works?	Not a regular one, but let's just say I am represented by Comedy Works so they let me perform whenever. My next scheduled show is December 19-21, a great Christmas gift idea! I know you want me to stuff your stocking.
I'm a letter carrier and I listen to comedy podcasts way to much. I'm always surprised at how much drama and animosity there seems to be between comics. So just to egg it on, who is the biggest dick/bitch in the biz? And do you have a podcast?	Honestly, I try not to have beef with anybody. To me there are enough laughs to go around. Why spit on somebody for their accomplishments...even if it is not my cup of tea. I have a brilliant idea for a podcast, but I need encouragement! I've tried to set it up a few times, but am still figuring out logistics.
What's your finest joke? Hit me with it	Standup isn't like telling a joke, it's more like a situational event. One joke taken out of context may not work on the screen, you just have to come to a show and decide for yourself.
Has making light of your cp in your comedy made it easier to live with at all?	It definitely makes it easier. Wouldn't you rather laugh than cry? Plus you know...all the sympathy. It doesn't make it go away though, so it is still something I have to deal with everyday.
Yo man, do you collect swords by any chance?	I do. Not just swords, I likes axes too...and knives...and morning stars, and just about any bludgeoning tool-especially the Gunstock War Club that Crazy Horse used.
I love how you dealt with the heckler on the famous youtube video. Any more stories similar to that?	I am not sure which video you are talking about, I deal with them all the time though. With our technology the way it is, people post my material without me knowing all the time.
What made you start comedy? Any barriers starting your career as a standup comedian?	I'm funny.
	There were lots of barriers. People assuming that due to my disability I would not be able to form a thought, let alone be funny.
When did u decide that you'd step on stage for the first time? and did you have something planned to say, or did you go up there and wing it? I'm too scared to go up on open mic nights.	I just started in college at an open mic for poetry and music. Terrified, but it was exhilarating. Once I got a taste, I had to do it more.
Hey Josh, huge fan! I know you are damn funny, but do you feel like some people see your shows because of your disability more than for your comedy?	I don't care why they come, as long as they buy a ticket. But no, I don't believe that I am a freakshow for people to come look at. If I was not funny then there is only so much that you could take.
Would you rather fight for your life with 30 duck-sized elephants, or 1 elephant-sized duck?	Hmm, well I think I have a better chance with the 30 duck-sized elephants because I saw my chicken eat three fucking mice the other day, and they did not have a chance.
Good afternoon, This is a two part question. First who inspired you to do comedy? Second to what effect have your inspirations influenced your act?	Bill Cosby was one, he's just up there talking but it is the funniest shit you've ever heard. He's influenced my act through my storytelling ability.
Hey Josh! Handsome beard. Personal question; How much do you feel a pressure or urge to be funny (at times when you don't have to be funny so not at a gig or something)? - and how do you handle it if you do?	Are you asking me to be funny right now, in this response? Because if you are, I am not taking it well. I've never felt the need to be funny, it's just what comes out.
What advice do you have for someone just getting into comedy in an area where there are very few venues and like many new comics don't have a large travel budget?	Don't bother, I've got that shit covered. Just kidding, to be a good comic you have to travel. Find a way to eat, live, and breathe comedy...and then shit it out.
Did you go to Como Park High School in Minnesota?	Yes, I graduated in 97. I was the only one of my siblings to attend a public school, and look what happened.
What does it mean?!?!?!?!	Have you ever seen what happens? Just go do it. I mean...don't.
U make us all laugh alot so my question is who makes u laugh the most?	My kids. My friends, well some of them. Chris Rock, Mitch Hedberg, Troy Baxley, hippie man, and the Grawlix.
What is the lamest joke that's actually funny you've encountered?	What's the difference between a refrigerator and a kangaroo?
	What are you fucking retarded?
Now since 108 Stitches, thinking about doing more movies?	I was thinking about doing more movies before that. I always thought I'd be a great villain.
He just made me want to put lemon in my milk to understand it... or is this a deep, eye opening metaphor!	Well, my mom told me never to do it. So one day I waited for her to leave and I did it and took a big swig, and I threw up all over myself.
Did you ever go to Maggie Mooo's?	I have a friend named Maggie, and I don't appreciate you calling her fat.
Why did the chicken cross the road?	There are no stupid questions, but this one is really pushing it.
Who's Deekie Martin? Is that story about the gerbil true, or am I confusing him with Richard Gere?	Deekie's incident with the gerbil is not public knowledge. That is all.
How much impact did last comic have on your career? Would you do it again, given the chance?	Yeah, Last Comic blew the doors off. I would definitely do it again.
Josh me being the father of a young girl who suffers from a similar level of palsy as yourself what kind of advice should I give her on dealing with children who view her as being different?	I guess, let her know that her body might work differently, but her brain is right there with them. It is probably even more advanced.
Favourite Disney Movie?	Aladdin. Robin Williams' performance was amazing.
Just wanted to say that you are awesome josh blue. What is your all time favorite video game? On any system.	Are you serious? I can't even tie my own fucking shoes, what controller am I going to use?
How frequently are you mixed up with a young Daniel Stern?	Unfortunately it is more often Screech from Saved by the Bell.
Hey Josh! This is the fan that bull-rushed you at the Jack White concert at Red Rocks. Whats your favorite part about living in Denver?	Where do I begin? Legal weed is pretty phenomenal. Over 300 days of sunshine ain't bad either.
What's the best thing about girls?	Their ability to drive me completely insane.
Hey josh, when are you coming to San Antonio to do a show? Youre on my Must See list. LOL Comedy Club is where its at!	Check http://ift.tt/1ol1LHi That is where I go to find out where I am going.
Hey Josh, As a fellow Evergreen Alum, I've got to ask what was your favorite program you took there? Or who was your favorite teacher?	A creative writing class with Bill Ransom. Go Geoducks!
Hi Josh, was just wondering IF you were gay would you be a top or a bottom? :)	I'd be the guy in the middle, best of all worlds.
If you could share one life lesson what would it be?	Don't drink milk with lemon in it.
I think you need to elaborate to how you learned this life lesson.	Another life lesson, don't trust lions, or any wild beast really.
Does having CP make it difficult to have sex? Also, do you feel that you are funnier than Dane Cook?	Why don't you come find out?
If you were to appear on Comedy Central's Drunk History, what historical person would you talk about?	Crazy Horse...because he's a bad motherfucker.

Last updated: 2014-11-05 18:43 UTC | Next update: 2014-11-05 18:53 UTC

This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.

Submitted November 06, 2014 at 12:13AM by tabledresser http://ift.tt/1yZaMH7 tabled