8:00 PM
A rarity falls upon the small North Korean island today.
The morning is calm.
Wildlife are uncharacteristically silent. The trees don't sway with the wind like they usually do, and the result is the serene crashing of the waves against the beach sands. The remaining competitors sleep like rocks. Dewey Needler’s snoring is no more. There is no trace of the BBC or any drill sergeants. The inhabitants of the cabin are at a carefree ease. They all sleep in, sleeping far past sunrise. Robert Warlock is the first to awaken, and he notices how late everyone has slept. He steps out of the cabin and breathes in fresh air.
Robert: What a wonderful morning for a walk. Er, afternoon, I guess.
Robert walks off into the jungle, unaware of the horrors to come.
A bird’s eye view of the island reveals that there are no birds flying between the trees. The island’s serenity slowly becomes eerie, the absolute stillness and absence of life indicative of something more than just tranquility.
Back at the cabin, everyone sleeps. But good things don’t last here.
A ghastly, piercing shrieking alarm penetrates the collective slumber of the cabin members. They all jolt up, each of them looking around to try and find out where the noise is coming from.
Tyler: JESUS! What kind of alarm clock is this?!
Romero: This is no alarm clock, you fool! Haven’t you ever played Modern Warfare 2?
Andrade: He has, he’s just never gotten a 25 kill streak, fucking scrub.
Tyler: How about you eat my dick?
Suddenly, Warlock comes barging into the cabin.
Warlock: Guys, we have to leave, NOW!
William: And go where, exactly?
Warlock: We don’t have time to discuss this! Are we really gonna stand idle while a NUCLEAR LAUNCH ALARM IS GOING OFF?!?!?
The whole cabin stares at him, bewildered by the realization that a bomb alarm is going off.
Mil: Look, I’d like to survive. I’m going with Robert.
William: To hell with that, I ain’t going with him.
Warlock: Then you can stay here to die, the rest of us are gonna try and find a way out of this.
Mil, Andrade, and Romero both grab a few things and follow Warlock out the door. Warlock attempts to close it, and it falls off the hinges.
William: sigh
Reluctantly, The Kings of the Grunge Age follow not-so-closely behind. All 6 start running in a single direction, in a state of panic.
Romero: So, Warlock, got any bright ideas on how to survive this?
William(Sarcastically): I do! We keep running in a straight line like a bunch of dumb fucks, run straight into the ocean and try to swim away!
Warlock: Alright wise ass, do YOU have any good ideas?
William:.........
Warlock: Didn’t think so.
Mil: Hey! What the hell is that?
Mil points to a nearby cave. Signs are pinned to the cave that say “Stay Out”, “Warning: Bears” and “Warning: Falling Rocks”.
Tyler: Can you not read english, boy? That cave is dangerous!!!
Warlock: I’m pretty sure if there WERE bears in there, they wouldn't be chilling in a cave while a loud ass nuke alarm goes off.
Andrade: Hey, look here!
Andrade points to the mud by the cave, where there are many traces of footprints.
Andrade: People have been here before!
Mil: I’m not waiting another second. ANYTHING is better than just staying here like sitting ducks.
Mil runs right into the cave, and everybody else follows close behind. Inside the cave are pictures of the BBC tacked onto the walls, a small supply of food and drink, and The Coffee Boyz’ bags of coffee, among other things.
Tyler: Wait a minute, the BBC were hiding out here!
Warlock: Brilliant Tyler, you have eyes!
William: What in the goddamn is that?
William points to a GIANT Refrigerator, almost 8 feet tall, and 6 feet wide.
Warlock: Why in the fuck does the BBC have a king size fridge?
Romero: I knew Sierra Briggs was a big girl, but i didn’t know about THIS….
William: So what the hell do we do now?!
Mil Leones looks up, almost as if a light bulb turned on above his head.
Mil: Have y’all ever seen Indiana Jones 4?
Tyler: Was that the one with Sean Connery?
Warlock: No, you dumbfuck. That’s Indiana Jones 3.
Andrade: Wait, I think I get what he’s saying! Remember that famous scene where Indy is in the Nuketown?
William:.....are you fucking kidding me?......are you REALLY suggesting……
William looks back at the King-Size Refrigerator.
Mil: It’s our only chance.
Tyler: C’mon Mil, that was just a movie! There’s no fucking way this is ACTUALLY gonna work!
Mil: I’d rather take a chance to live than be stuck here to die. If you’d rather perish here, be my guest.
Mil, Andrade and The Warlords start to empty out the fridge, removing the shelves and all of the food items inside, which mainly consists of Velveeta and Coca Cola.
Tyler: You know Dave, I’m really happy with my current role here.
Warlock turns around to look at The Grunge Age boys.
Warlords: What, sitting there and not helping?
Tyler: Not just not helping….
Tyler takes a bite
Tyler: Eating Popcorn and not helping!
Warlock: If you two don’t fucking help us, we’re not gonna let you in this goddamn Fridge!
William: Alright, alright, keep your panties on….
William and Dylan start to help the group in clearing out the Fridge, and they eventually clear the whole thing out to the point where it’s just a completely empty container.
Warlock: Alright, if we all stand inside, straight up like a pencil, i think we may all be able to fit inside.
Romero: WAIIIIIITT!!!!
Warlock turns to Stephen.
Warlock: What the hell is the problem?
Romero: There’s only one way to make sure this is gonna work…..
Romero looks at the bottom of the side of the fridge, and on it there is a label that reads, “LEAD-LINED”.
Romero: Oh yeah…..this is gonna work!
Everybody packs into the fridge while the Nuke siren continues to ring. It’s a tight fit, but they manage to close the door and pack everybody in just before……..
Warlock:............
Tyler:..............
Romero:.............
William:.............
Andrade:............
Mil:..........so…..uhh…….when is this Nuke going off?....
Warlock: Any second now…….probably……
Andrade: Umm……...so…….how was y’alls day?.....
Romero: I mean, it could be better……
Andrade:........yeah, I feel you on that….
Tyler: I GOTTA PEE!
Everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP TYLER!
Warlock: You know, I thought this nuke would’ve dropped by no-
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Suddenly, the nuke drops and the explosion causes the Fridge goes FLYING out of the cave!
Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Tyler: I don’t have to pee anymore guys…….
Everyone Else: FUUUCCCKKK YYYOOOOUU TTTYYYLLEEER!!!
CRASH!!!
The Fridge lands on the uneven ground, thankfully right side up. The 6 competitors open the door and pop their heads out, and see that the island is now a desert wasteland, almost completely destroyed, debris scattered among the flattened remains. They see a mushroom cloud far off in the distance in the ocean, far enough away for them to still be alive, but close enough to where radiation levels could be an issue.
Warlock: Thank god the nuke missed the island and landed on the Ocean…..
William: Yeah, because the Island is TOTALLY fine!
Warlock: Hey, it could be worse.
Romero: Wait a minute, if they weren’t in the cave, where have the BBC been this whole time?
Amongst all of the debris, fallen trees and rubble, a very robust, silver structure can be seen in the far distance.
Mil: I think we just found our answer.
9:00 AM
The 6 men walk over to the structure, which seems specifically designed to withstand the blast of the nuclear bomb. As the 6 competitors draw closer, the hatch opens and Charlie Krieger walks out.
Krieger: Jesus, this place is a wreck! When the hell is that helicopter gonna get here?
Krieger turns his head, and notices the group of 6 walking his way, about 30 feet away from him. He looks as if he’s seen a ghost.
Krieger: W-w-what the……how the…….
Briggs emerges from the structure, a box of pizza in her hand.
Sierra: Hey Charlie, do you want the last slice of-
Sierra notices the three teams approaching them.
Briggs: Hell no…...
Briggs hops back in the shelter and slams the door.
Andrade: HEY! YOU AIN’T SLICK! WE SEEN YOU!
Krieger: Oh fuck….
Warlock: Didn’t expect to see us, did you? You pieces of shit.
Andrade takes a long, good look at the structure BBC is hiding out in
Andrade: Wait a minute, is this a fucking bomb shelter?
Buster emerges from the shack, his robot voice wheelchair back.
Buster: Uhh….
Buster turns around to look at the bomb shelter, which has a giant sign that says “BOMB SHELTER” right across the front of the bomb shelter.
Buster:.......no…...it’s…..not a bomb shelter…...
Suddenly, Dave starts CHARGING towards Krieger
William: YOU BETTER RUN FOR THE HILLS BITCH BOY!
Dave TACKLES Krieger to the ground and starts laying right hands into him! The rest of the BBC and the other Gimp Party competitors get in between the two to help break them up and keep William from going ape-shit on Krieger.
William: YOU FUCKING SLUT!! YOU LEFT US HERE TO DIE!!!
Kreiger: I may have left you here to die, yes, but I am NOT a FUCKING SLUT!
Briggs: CALM THE HELL DOWN!
Warlock: You tried to fucking nuke us, how in the fuck are we supposed to be calm about that?
Buster: You’re supposed to be dead.
Andrade: H-how the fuck is this even legal? What the fuck?
Krieger: Contract jargon. Bitches. Also, we weren’t the one to drop the bomb. North Korea just decides to do that now and then, not our fault y’all didn’t build your own bomb shelter.
William: Yeah fucking right! You dickfaces knew they were gonna drop that bomb, you slimy fucks, I’m gonna fucking kill you!
Krieger: But how would you win the titles if one of us is dead and you are in jail?
A silence hangs during which William stares down Krieger with a death glare.
Romero: Speaking of the titles, what is our challenge for this week? I suppose you were too busy hiding in your shelter, hoping all of us would FUCKING DIE to think of one?
Krieger: Uhh, no? We totally thought you all would have built a bomb shelter by now. We.. uh, we had a plan the whole time.
Warlock: And that plan is?
Krieger:.......Uhhhh…….
While the groups have been arguing they don't notice something creeping up on them from behind. Only Tyler notices as a dragging sound lugs behind him. He turns around, and screams like a little pussy, bumping into Romero. The whole group turns around and sees what he screamed at.
A rabbit, or at least presumably what looks like it used to be a rabbit, hobbles towards Tyler. It’s back two legs are gone, but it seems to have somehow mutated in the radiation of the nuke, because it has a third eye growing from under its chin. Not only that, but its ears have grown ludicrously large. It also has a large arm on its back, with a fist that seems to have a mind of its own.
Romero: What. the. fuck.
Krieger: Uhhh……..oh! That’s the challenge!
Krieger walks over to the rabbit and examines it closer.
Krieger: This…...this kinda looks like a Pokemon….
The remaining competitors start to have a look of confusion on their faces
Tyler: From what fucking generation?
Krieger: Uhh…...Gen 4…...this is totally a Buneary…..so anyways….your challenge… Is to find more mutated monstrosities. Catch them, tame them. Return to us before 5 o’Clock, and we will battle them. To the death.
Mil:.....For the love of King Henry’s nutsack….
Krieger: Now, in order to catch Pokemon, you’ll need the proper tools. Give me a second.
Krieger makes his way back into the Shelter, and comes back out a couple minutes later.
Kreiger: To catch a Pokemon, you’re gonna need a Pokeball of course….
Krieger puts a “Pokeball” into each of the competitors hands.
Warlock: Wait a minute, this isn’t a Pokeball! This is just a rock painted to look like a Pokeball!
The camera zooms in on the Pokeballs. They’re LITERALLY just rocks that Krieger found in the shelter and haphazardly painted.
Mil: What the hell are we supposed to do with these? These can’t catch anything!
Krieger: Well…..uhh…..sucks to suck, that’s YOUR problem, not ours.
Krieger motions for Buster to get back into the bomb shelter, and they shuffle into it as the groups are left alone again.
Andrade: Why the fuck am I here.
Romero: I wanna be, the very best-
Everyone else: NO!
2:00 PM
Time has passed, and we find Stephen Romero and Robert Warlock roaming the remains of the island. Most of it is barren, the blast flattening a majority of the plants and wildlife. There are remains a few patches of forest rubble here and there, and the Warlords scavenge it for any signs of remaining life.
Romero: So…….how exactly are are supposed to catch these things? These damn Pokeballs are useless!
Warlock: Let's cross that bridge when we come to it.
Romero: Fair Enough.
Warlock: Hold up just a minute.
Warlock and Romero stand still, and they hear rustling in a nearby bush.
Warlock: I don’t know what this is, but this may be our only chance. On the count of three, we pounce on whatever the hell is in that bush.
Romero: I’m down.
The rustling in the bush continues.
Warlock 1…...2……..3!!!!
Warlock and Romero jump on the source of the rustling in the bush!
Tyler: Hey! The fuck is your problem man?!
Warlock: Goddamnit Tyler, I thought you were a Pokemon……
Romero: I mean, we COULD just say Tyler is our Pokemon, and leave him for dead in the fighting pit.
Tyler: Eat my ass! You roided up Coon!
Suddenly, a small, yellow, mutated Mouse starts scurrying across the nearby ground
Romero:.........IT’S PIKACHU!!!!!
Tyler: I want a Pikachu!
Romero: Lick my nuts Tyler, I saw it first!
Romero starts running after the “Pikachu”, and makes a daring leap to catch it in his arms!
Romero: Yeah! We have our Pokemon!
Upon further inspection, the “Pikachu” has yellow fur, rosy red cheeks, and is short and fat, just like the real Pikachu, except this creature has 3 eyes, and an absurdly long snout. Suddenly, William Dave comes running up to the scene. William: Have you found a Goddamn Pokemon yet Tyler?
Warlock: Shit, Stephen, lets get out of here before the Grunge Age pulls a Team Rocket and tries to jack our Pokemon.
Warlock and Romero flee the scene with their “Pikachu”, leaving Dave and Tyler shit outta luck without a Pokemon.
4:30 PM
The scene switches to Mil and Andrade, who are looking near the remains of the beach for a Pokemon.
Andrade: If there are any “Water Type” Pokemon, they’ll be around here.
Mil: Hey, look at that!
Mil points to a deformed sea turtle, who’s walking around on 2 legs. The creature has 2 arms on each side of it’s body, for a total of 4, and it seems to have razor sharp claws.
Mil: Looks like a Squirtle to me…..
Andrade: But don’t you see the claws on that thing…….how in the fuck are we gonna catch that thing?
Mil: Hmm……..I have an Idea……
Mil walks over to a nearby Trash Can, which is somehow still in pretty decent shape. Mil starts to empty the can of its contents, which include normal garbage, and a bottle of….Nuka Cola. Mil drags the empty Trash can over by the shore, sets it on its side and lays the bottle of Nuka Cola inside.
Mil: Now, we just gotta get its attention. Then, it’ll take the Nuka Cola bait, and all we gotta do is slap the lid on it, and BOOM, we just caught ourselves a Pokemon.
Andrade: That is, IF this works.
Mil: Of course it’ll work! Nobody, Person, Animal, or Pokemon can resist the taste of Nuka Cola!
Andrade: I hope you’re right, for our sake…
Mil lets out a rather loud whistle to get “Squirtle’s” attention. Mil and Andrade jump behind a nearby shrub to hide and watch the scene. The creature notices the Nuka Cola in the can, and starts to walk over in that direction.
Mil: C’mon, you little bastard, get in there.
In an instant, “Squirtle” jumps right into the can and starts to chew at the Nuka Cola Bottle.
Andrade: Now, Mil!
Mil runs over to the Trash Can, and slams the lid on the can shut, sealing the “Pokemon” inside!
Mil: Well, that was easier than I thought…….
Suddenly, the creature’s razor sharp claws poke holes right through the steel can!
Andrade:......This could be a problem……
As Andrade and Mil work together to find a way to carry the can back to the BBC without “Squirtle’s” claws cutting them, the camera switches to Tyler and William, who STILL do not have a Pokemon for the battle.
William: Dammit, we don’t have much time left Tyler. What’re we gonna do?
Tyler: I don’t fucking know, but at this point, ANY Pokemon is better than no Pokemon, so we gotta snag WHATEVER we can find now……
In the background, we see the deformed rabbit with the gigantic ears from earlier scurrying around in some nearby grass.
Tyler: Hey, lookie there! Looks like we found our Pokemon, now all we gotta do is catch it!
William: Easier said than done…..
5:00 PM
The camera switches to The BBC, who are wearing suits for some inexplicable reason. GenMex, who have scrapes all over their hands from Squirtle clawing through the trash can, and The Warlords, who are actually having fun playing around with their “Pikachu”. Both GenMex and The Warlords are ready to Pokemon battle.
Krieger: Uggh, where is Dave and that cuck Tyler?
Warlock: They must’ve not found a Pokemon yet.
Kreiger; Well then, lets DEPO-
Buster: Actually, I’m interested in what ungodly creature poor Tyler will come up with to fight, can we give him and Dave a little leeway on the deadline?
Krieger: Ughh…..FINE. 10 Minutes is all he gets. If he doesn’t show up with a Pokemon in 10 Minutes, his ass is getting DEPORTED!
Buster: Fair by me.
Kreiger: Anyways. The rules are simple. Your Pokemon will be thrown into this pit.
Krieger points to a nearby Children’s play pen, which has been modified to be a Pokemon Battling ring.
Krieger: All around are the remains of Pokemon who have fought and died in this gladiator pit.
Buster pours a can of Tomato sauce on a styrofoam skull.
Krieger: Hopefully your Pokemon can avoid the fate of the poor souls who’ve competed here in the past.
Sierra rips the tag off her Party City skeleton decoration before throwing it into the playpen.
Krieger; If not, your Pokemon will live forever in infamy, being remembered as one of the victims of this cruel, heartless, sadistic arena.
Krieger throws the bone from his Fried Chicken leg into the pen.
Krieger: Now then, enter your Pokemon into the pit!
The Warlocks place “Pikachu” into the pit, and Generation Mex opens the Trash Can and dumps “Squirtle” into the pit as well. The camera now switches back to Tyler and Dave, who stand about 5 feet from the mutated rabbit that they’re trying to catch, devising a plan of capture for the creature.
Tyler: Look…..I have an idea…...it sounds a little crazy, but I think it can work.
Dave: What did you have in mind?
Tyler: The Pokeball…...we use the Pokeball. Dave: Alright, did you smoke an irradiated marijuana plant?
Tyler: No no no, hear me out. It may not work like the Pokeballs from the Anime and the Videogames, but what if this Pokeball has some kind of hidden power that we don’t know about? What if this is the secret to our success?
Dave: Tyler, with all due respect, that is literally the worst fucking idea I have ever heard. You’re talking like a damn crazy person.
Tyler: We’ve literally been Nuked by North Korea, we’ve seen hideous mutated creatures, and the BBC built a Nuclear Bomb shelter in a day, and MY idea is too crazy?
Dave:....touché…….
All of a sudden, the mutant rabbit starts to overhear the commotion, and takes off running!
Tyler: Oh no you don’t!
Tyler and Dave start chasing the Pokemon throughout the forest, with Tyler waiting for the perfect opportunity to throw his “Pokeball” at the mutated creature. The more Dave and Tyler give chase to the creature, the further away it gets from them.
Dave: Uhh...Tyler...if we don’t do something NOW, we’re not gonna have a Pokemon!
Tyler breathes in.......I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was……..
Tyler puts his hand in his pants pocket.
Tyler: To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause……
Tyler pulls the Pokeball out of his pocket.
Tyler: I will travel across the land, searching far and wide…..
Tyler lifts the his hand and readies the Pokeball in a throwing position. As Tyler runs with his Pokeball ready, he sheds a lone tear from his right eye, getting to realize his childhood dream of being a Pokemon Master.
Tyler: Teach Pokemon to understand, the poooweer that’s innsiiiidee…..
Tyler throws the “Pokeball”, which strikes the Pokemon dead in its tracks, knocking it out! Tyler runs over to the downed creature and raises it in the air like a trophy, like Mufasa raising Simba in the air. Tyler: IT’S YOOUUU ANNDD MEE!!!!! I KNOW ITS MY DESTINNNYYY!!!!! OHHHH YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND, IN A WORLD WE MUST DDEFFEEENNNDD!!!!
Dave: Uhh, Tye Dye. I don’t mean to ruin your childhood fantasies, but it’s 5:05.
Dave points to his watch.
Dave: 5 minutes AFTER Krieger told us to be back.
Tyler: Well, lets hurry up and get over there!
Tyler and Dave start running back to the BBC, with Tyler singing parts of the Pokemon theme song along the way like a fanboy. The camera cuts back to Squirtle and Pikachu, who are in the gladiator pit, ready to duke it out.
Warlock: Give him hell, Pikachu!!
Andrade: You’ve got this Squirtle!!
Krieger: Now on the count of 3, your Pokemon will be allowed to fi-
The “Pokemon” waste no time and run right up to another and start to fight.
Krieger; Ah fuck it, just go.
Squirtle immediately starts scratching away at the fur of Pikachu, but the electric mouse starts to chew and gnaw at the face of Squirtle!!
Romero: Pikachu, use Thunder Bolt!
Pikachu uses his teeth to rip one of Squirtles eyes out!
Warlock: Jesus Christ!!! That wasn’t a Thunder Bolt!
Mil: Squirtle, use Water Gun!
Squirtle uses his razor sharp claws to rip Pikachu’s forearm off!
Andrade: By the grace of the Good lord!! What the hell!?!
Squirtle and Pikachu take turns dismembering their opponent, and they both spill their irradiated, mutated blood all over the playpen.
Krieger: I don’t know whether this is horrifying, or hilarious……
Suddenly, both of the Pokemon fall to the ground, lifeless.
Buster: Did…..they just bleed out?
Krieger grabs a nearby stick, and starts poking both of the grounded Pokemon with it.
Krieger: Holy shit…...I think they did…..they just killed each other!
Buster: So…..what do we do now?
Kriegerl there’s only one thing TO do…...since BOTH of your Pokemon died in the pit….i think we should have a DOUBLE Deportation!!!!
Romero, Mil and Andrade: NOOOO!!!!!!
Warlock: HOLD ON! Aren’t we forgetting something, or SOMEONE rather…..
Krieger; What are you talking abo-
Tyler: WAAAAIIIIITT!!!
Suddenly, Dave and Tyler start running up to the scene, with their unconscious rabbit in Tyler’s arms.
Tyler: WAAAAIITT!!!! Don’t fret! I have returned! And with me is none other than the greatest Pokemon of all time, Rabbeye!
The group look at Tyler’s Pokemon in confusion.
Krieger: You named it Rabbeye?
Tyler: Yeah, you know, like “Rabbi”, its a rabbit and it has a bunch of “Eyes”, get it? Rabbeye!
Andrade: That is literally the worst thing ever.
Tyler: Lick my asshole, Spic! Rabbeye is a future Generation 8 Pokemon!
Buster: I think my main question is, why is it unconscious?
Tyler: Well, I had to use my trusty Pokeball to knock it unconscious so i could bring it back here!
Krieger turns around to look at Mil.
Krieger: And YOU said they couldn’t catch anything…..
Krieger turns back around to look at Tyler and Dave.
Krieger: You gotta love the ingenuity from Tyler!....and you also gotta hate everything else about him….but anyways, well done! The Kings of the Grunge Age are the winne-
Warlock: Wait a minute, that Rabbit hasn’t even fought anything yet!
Tyler: Its name is Rabbeye!
Warlock: Eat my shit, Tyler!
Tyler: Make me, you bitch ass whore fuck! If your Pokemon were still alive, Rabbeye would DESTROY you, just like the Jews destroyed the World Trade Center on 9/11!
Briggs: Uhh….I don’t think that’s exactly what happened……..
Tyler:.....It is what happened! Wikipedia is 100% reputable!
Amongst all of the arguing and Tyler’s nonsense, Buster takes a long hard look at Tyler’s rabbit, who hasn’t moved a millimeter.
Buster: Hold on just a second…….lemme see Rabbeye real quick…..
Tyler gives Rabbeye to Buster, and Buster starts to inspect the creature. Looking at it’s head, chest, and stomach.
Tyler: What are you doing?.....
Buster continues to inspect the creature, before coming to a realization.
Buster: Tyler, you moron….do you realize what you did?...
Tyler:...no….what did I do?
Buster: This thing isn’t unconscious you idiot…..it’s DEAD. You probably killed this thing as soon as you threw the “Pokeball” at it’s skull.
Dave: Goddamnit……..
Tyler: What the…...no…..that can’t be…..
Krieger: Well I’ll be damned…..what a turn of events! Gen Mex’s and The Warlord’s Pokemon may have killed each other in battle, but your Pokemon was never even alive to begin with!
Tyler: Wait a minute….this doesn’t mean……..
Krieger: Oh yes it does…….hahahahaha! Tyler, Dave…...YOU’RE DEPO-
Unknown Voice on a Megaphone: I don’t think so!
Out of absolutely nowhere, a HELICOPTER flies down from the sky, and on the side on the whirlybird sits a very official looking man holding a megaphone. The man is wearing sunglasses, wearing a three piece suit and has an earpiece hooked up to his ear. The man lowers a ladder for Tyler and Dave.
Krieger: What the fuck?….
Unknown Man on the Megaphone: Hurry up, get on!
Tyler: What the hell? Who the hell is this?
Dave: Who cares, just get on the ladder!
Tyler: Don’t have to tell me twice!
Tyler and David run from the scene and jump on the ladder. As the two men start to climb up the ladder to the side of the Helicopter, the Helicopter raises in the air and starts to fly far off into the distance!
Krieger: Wait just a fucking minute…….
Krieger turns and looks at Sierra Briggs.
Krieger: Was that OUR Fucking Helicopter?!?! THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE 8 FUCKING HOURS AGO!?!?!
Sierra:...Jesus Christ…...Tyler and Dave just fucking stole our ride outta here……
Krieger: Fucking CUNTS! And not to mention those good for nothing Helicopter fucks! Who shows up 8 FUCKING HOURS LATE?!?........
Krieger takes a long, deep breath to try and calm himself…..
Krieger: Well…..and then there were two….
Krieger takes a look at the two remaining teams, The Warlords and Generation Mex.
Romero: So….since we don’t have a cabin anymore…..can we come inside your Bomb shelter?.....
Kreiger: HA! That’s hilarious!.....
Krieger takes a good, long look at everything around him. He spots a rusty, rickety looking shed a few meters away.
Krieger: THAT’S where y’all can stay.
Andrade: Dickhead…...
Buster hands Krieger an 10 pack of Oscar Mayer Classic Wieners, which Krieger throws to Romero.
Krieger: Since I’m feeling generous after witnessing that hellacious Pokemon battle, you guys can have these wieners for dinner tonight…..hehehe…...weiners…..
Buster: It’s also a good thing Tyler is gone, or else he might’ve taken all the hot dogs for himself, take them to bed and go to town on them.
Krieger:Damn straight, Buster. I guess we’re done for the day then. We’ll see you cucks in the morning.
Krieger, Buster and Briggs all head inside the Bomb Shelter and close the hatch. Gen Mex and The Warlords make their way to the shed, splitting the Hot Dogs evenly across the two teams.
Andrade: You know, no matter which one of us wins tomorrow, I’m just glad this whole thing will be over……
Romero: Amen to that man…...Amen to that…….
As the 4 men start to make room for themselves in the shed while eating their dinner, the screen fades to black.
Submitted December 06, 2016 at 10:19PM by Thats_So_Shibe http://ift.tt/2h2gDtb wrestlingisreddit
