The saddest panel in homestuck homestuck

Ok, I'm not a huge fan of Jake (Jope), but I came across this panel while looking for something else and it really got me thinking about him as a character. In a story that is fucking filled with tragic backstories, Jake's might be one of the saddest. He was orphaned on a jungle island full of MONSTERS and had to burn his own Grandmother's corpse just so the body wouldn't attract dangerous scavengers. He lived in the ruins of the house she built. It's stated that he had a cookalizer so he wouldn't go hungry(or he could hunt or gather in the jungle presumably), but for all his other stuff (guns, computers) it's likely he had to dig around in the ruins of the mansion.

Now, some might point out that Jade was in a similar situation, but, her island wasn't filled with monsters. She also had an intact house filled with working technological wonders, and a cosmically powerful dog guardian for company. Also, since she split her time between Earth and Prospit, she had plenty of company in her dreams.

Again, some might point out that Dirk and Roxy had it at least as bad as Jake, if not worse. Yes, their situations were horrifyingly awful, and I'm not sure you can truly compare one person's misery to another since it's a subjective emotion. However, my conjecture is that Jake was slightly worse off for a few reasons:

1. While Roxy and Dirk keenly felt the absence of their respective gaurdians, Jake actually had the chance to get to know his Grandmother and lost her. It seems sadder to me to actually lose a close family member than to miss the logical stand in for an abstract relationship.

2. For all that they were pretty much stuck in their homes (see what I did there), Roxy and Dirk still had fairly safe places to live. Roxy had the whole Carapacian neighborhood to run around, as well as the lab and her whole big house. Dirk had the least room of all the kids (and probably all the character excepting Calliope and Caliborn). However, he had access to plenty of supplies (though I have to wonder what his teeth were like after a lifetime of drinking orange soda) and futuristic technology. I don't believe he faced many dangers aside from those he created himself. Again, Jake lived in ruins in the middle of a jungle full of monsters. He did have some access to advanced technology (mainly computers), but it was actually probably a bonus for him that they entered the game because he had ripped the fuel out of his cookalizer and refrigerator.

I bring this up because Jake had never struck me as a particularly deep character. He was kind of just a happy-go-lucky, oblivious guy who acted as the catalyst for other characters' emotional strife. He was, well, a Joke. But looking at him in this light, I realize that the fact that he had a hard, lonely, danger ridden upbringing and yet still managed not only to face the world with a smile, but was actually the goddamned hero of hope? That's pretty damn amazing.

Submitted June 06, 2016 at 06:32AM by LittleUggie http://ift.tt/1Ya5uH7 homestuck

Muse is the Class of Death homestuck

So we know that muse is the most passive class and that it probably relates to inspiring people, but there was the question on how this class's powers work. Like rogue and thief both steal but rogues steal for the benefits of others and thieves steal for the benefit of themselves. Here I theorize that Muses aren't just people who inspire but they specifically are a class that "Inspires by death".

Which is to say the path of a muse is a path of death. That's why they are the most passive class, because their power is to die and through that death they have a vast cascading effect on everything. Normally when a character dies like dies for good their effect on things come to an end. But the muse would be the opposite alive they don't do much but in death they have a greater effect on the world than any other.

Example Calliope died and this inspired her friends to search for her and search for a way to revive her. It was a lonely path (probably because she is both a space player and cherub) but in the end through the act of dying it lead to her being able to revive and exist as a separate being completely free of her brother and never having to dirty her hands with killing him. Also it put her into the furthest ring where she then was able to find and release Alt-Calliope who proceeded to do so much damage to reality it made LE's cracks look minor nicks in comparison. I also feel like pointing out both Calliope and Alt-Calliope in death were able to do an amazing feat of creating a dream bubble spiral that LE couldn't find them in.

Then look at Alt-Calliope her first act of inspiration was to kill half of herself, the Caliborn half, letting people know that no matter how powerful LE was there existed a cherub stronger than him. Her next act? To die and become god tier. And then to die again to her denizen as part of the choice putting her in the furthest ring. The mere presence of Alt-Calliope in would inspire a ghost army to pretend to look for her which would be one of two necessary catalysts for the retcon power to surface. The other would be Lord English hunting the ghosts and smashing up the ring looking for his sister. These very cracks would be the thing that allows Alt-Calliope to reach the green sun sealing LE's defeat. And her final act? To die by collapsing space in on herself creating a black hole next to the green sun, which upon devouring the whole green sun turned into a massive black hole that devastated the furthest ring.

This bleeds into Alt-Calliope's session. Alt-Calliope is the only player to have a session that wasn't designed for them, even after predominating the session was still designed only for Caliborn yet the denizen changed. The reason? It's because she was a muse and muse players are a path of passivity and death. They aren't meant to be alive so the game created a session where Alt-Calliope would have no choice but to choose between accepting death or living in a failed session. That is to say the session was designed so she would come to view death in a different light and welcome it and thus become ready to die when the time came. Which is to say much like a void session is where a void player can thrive, ala Roxy, a dead session is one where a muse, a death player, can thrive and become more powerful. But by the very same token their act of dying makes them a tragic player who can never enjoy the fruit of what they do.

Though what good would be a master class if it made you incapable of winning and enjoying those fruits completely. Thus I believe that muses are predispositioned to have two alpha versions of themselves. That is to say two equally important main versions of them will ultimately come to exist, both will die, but one will die to achieve victory while the other will die and then revive allowing them to enjoy the fruits of victory.

I believe this makes them similar to doom class which speculates the reason Sollux and Mituna have double dream selves and in Sollux cases two ghosts is because doom players are a path of sacrifice. And it be horribly sucky and unfair to be dealt an aspect that means you're going to have to sacrifice yourself to win. So theory postulates the doom players get an extra dreamself and ghost so they can sacrifice themselves and yet still be around to enjoy the fruits of victory. Doom and Death do after all appear to be associated. The -ATH code that Sollux was all about has problem sleuth's death face on it.

Muse being the class of death would also cover by why Hussie designed its outfit to make its wearer look just like how Death looked in Problem Sleuth.

And when reading Caliborn's words I realized what Calliope....what the Muse class really is, she's deconstruction of the obnoxious story trope where a female character is killed to create motivation to grow/go on a quest for their typically male counterpart. This stuck out like a sore thumb when Caliborn talked about his sad backstory and how his sister was "tragically murdered". So the female counterpart, Calliope, dies and it sends Caliborn on this grand quest to become the most evil thing alive. The deconstruction comes in several ways. The first is that killing Calliope does pretty much nothing for Caliborn's growth in fact it stunts him physically and mentally and it highlights that it was a terrible horible thing for everyone and everything. Then it introduces Alt Calliope who does die and end up acting as motivation for LE, which again is shown to be a bad thing by all the pain and hurt he causes by smashing up the furthest ring to find her. But an important thing here is Alt Calliope died on their own terms and death wasn't the end of her story but rather she used her death to wreck incredibly destruction and defeat her brother becoming a big hero. But the biggest deconstruction comes in the form of our Calliope. With her the story is basically saying "hey having a female character whose only purpose is to die either as motivation or to make a point at how edgy and evil this villain is really sucks and is lazy. So I killed her but now I'm reviving her because her worth is inherent, it's not based on her brother or any big actions she does. She's a living being with her own feelings and dreams and deserves as a happy ending as much as anyone else." That's why the muse class is both inherently female and the most passive, it's parody of the woman in refrigerator/disposable woman/etc... tropes to commonly seen in stories.

Submitted May 14, 2016 at 04:50AM by yuei2 http://ift.tt/1UZTYgG homestuck

Explanation for how Jack English still exists in the Post-Retcon Timeline homestuck

so there has been a lot of confusion as to how Jack English could exist in the Post-Retcon timeline when he only existed due to shenanigans involving Gamzee, who was tied up and locked in a refrigerator Post-Retcon.

The explanation is actually pretty simple.

As we have seen those in the Furthest Ring are unaffected by Retcon powers. And where did we last see Jack English? In the furthest ring.

Submitted April 17, 2016 at 04:25PM by 989fox989 http://ift.tt/22EsKvN homestuck

The REAL thing no one's talking about :o) homestuck

Gamzee, was last seen locked in the refrigerator on LOTAK. What happened to LOTAK? It was destroyed when Lord Jack blew up.

Is it fair to say the clown is finally dead?

Submitted April 08, 2016 at 06:46PM by articuu http://ift.tt/23oKa1H homestuck

Description of [S] Collide homestuck

Here's a description of [S] Collide. Please check if I missed anything. Thanks!

A screen with a fetch modus shows up. There are a bunch of dots and lines connecting them.

The fetch modus says “EOA6” in the right-hand corner and has a sideway house with the word “PLAY” on it, similarly to [S] Cascade.

Skaia, broken Prospit, and the Green Sun (?) come into view.

We see PM Noir and Bec Noir duel and then switch to the fight against the Condesce, and then to the fight between Spades Slick and LE-Controlled Jack Noir, and then to the fight against the Felt.

We then (perhaps unexpectedly) switch to Jane and Nannasprite, who are still talking to each other. Jasprosesprite² is also present. (Also, an unknown sprite is present on the right-hand side. Who is that?)

We then see to Davepetasprite^2, Sollux, and Aradia, altogether, and then the ghost army, facing Lord English, with Tavros, Meenah, and Karkat, leading them.

Jade smiles as PM Noir and Bec Noir duel, while the team against the Condesce look fierce.

Dave, Dirk, and Terezi face away from each other as they prepare to fight their enemies and Jake prepares to face the Felt.

Karkat charges toward Lord English while Meenah and Tavros shrug at each other, not knowing what he’s thinking.

Also, Vriska realizes that Andrew Hussie is behind her. Davpetaesprite^2, Aradia, Sollux, and Hussie look on as the fight continues. The whole ghost army is surprised.

Karkat is then seemingly killed, but he was dreaming, so he wakes up.

We then return to Derse, with the fight against the Condesce. STRIFE!

Rose, Roxy, and John use a Fraymotif against the Condesce. Zazzerpan the Learned (from Rose’s living room, remember?) falls on the Condesce and twirls around her with the windy thing.

Rose and John try to fight against the Condesce after that, but they are just kicked away.

Another Fraymotif between Rose and John are used (while Kanaya starts putting on lipstick) and a bunch of alternating lines hit the Condesce. Rose and Roxy then work together to create a cube to hurt the Condesce. Rose and John then try something again, but the Condesce blasts them all away.

Roxy comes and starts punching the Condesce and uses her void powers to create weapons against her. John, Rose, and Kanaya look on, bewildered.

Meanwhile, Jake is fighting the Felt. For a few seconds, there are two versions of Jake on screen. Also, Arquisprite is helping with his ghost army and by using the refrigerator containing Gamzee.

Meanwhile, Number 15 punches everyone into LOFAF and Karkat helps in the fight. He tries fighting against Number 4, but does not fare well.

Meanwhile, Number 15 punches everyone back to LOMAX and Jake is shot repeatedly by Number 7.

In the fight against the Condesce, Jasprosprite^2, Nannasprite, and Jane come from nowhere using the fenestrated wall and start helping.

Jane and Nannasprite then teleport to the fight against the Felt and make cookies whom everyone, both the Felt and Jake, eat.

Roxy, John, Rose, Kanaya, Nannasprite, and Jasprosprite² continue to fight the Condesce. Arquisprite, Number 15, and the refrigerator come from nowhere and continue fighting in front of the Condesce.

With Number 15 out of the way, Jane and Jake continue to fight the Felt on LOMAX.

Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer then comes with his skeleton army (from Act 6 Intermission 5, remember?), creating chaos.

On LOTAK, Dave, Dirk, Terezi, Spades Slick, and LE-controlled Jack Noir continue to fight.

LE-controlled Jack Noir fends everyone off with his cane and Dave and Dirk almost fall off the building.

Spades Slick comes and stop him. Dave, Dirk, and Terezi then come back and they continue fighting.

Spades Slick shoots Dirk multiple times, but then Terezi and Dave use a Fraymotif. Suddenly, there are multiple copies of Spades Slick, LE-controlled Jack Noir, and Dirk (because time control).

Then, there’s just one copy of everyone with LE-controlled Jack Noir not in the scene.

Spades Slick tries to fight, but he just kind of moves around and doesn’t seem to be hitting anyone.

LE-controlled Jack Noir comes back and hits him down, but he gets back up. Dirk then tries taking his soul from him, but fails.

Dave and Terezi then work together to go back in time and give themselves a position to attack both enemies at the same time.

The screen switches to just LE-controlled Jack Noir, Dave, and Dirk. Dave and Dirk use a Fraymotif, but LE-controlled Jack Noir uses his powers to stop them.

The fight with the Condesce and Number 15 continues. Number 15 punches Arquiusprite and his refrigerator to LOTAK, possibly saving Dave and Dirk.

Arquiusprite is then punched on top of LOFAF, where Number 4, Karkat, Calliope, and Ms. Paint are also present.

Everyone is twirled around because of the fight happening on top of their scene.

Arquiusprite and Number 15 then fight on top of LOMAX before returning to Derse.

Jane’s Dad breaks out of prison, surprising both Arquiusprite and Number 15.

The scene returns to Bec Noir and PM Noir at Prospit. They bump into Jade, who falls down.

Meanwhile, Jane’s Dad helps fight Number 15 with his punching and pastry powers.

We then switch to Caliborn fighting Yaldabaoth, and then back to PM Noir and Bec Noir.

The Noirs start switching scenes, going to LOFAF, then LOMAX, then LOTAK, then Prospit again. Also, Jade runs around confused about what to do.

Also, Andrew Hussie is unexpectedly fighting Vriska. He’s doing pretty well, too.

Back to Jade and the Noirs. Jade puts LOFAF upright again (since it was slanted because of Number 15) and the Noirs return there.

Alternate Calliope is facing the Green Sun. The ghost army is facing Lord English. Calibron is facing Yaldabaoth.

Calibron is smiling with his cane having blood on it, implying that he has killed his denizen. He faces the Heroic/Just clock and his new juju.

Also, Serenity appears out of nowhere. Thus, she flies!

Over Derse, where the Condesce is defeating Roxy, Rose, Kanaya, and John.

Over Prospit, where the Noirs fight and Jade smiles at Serenity.

Over LOTAK, where LE-controlled Lord English and Spades Slick are defeating Terezi, Dirk, and Dave.

Over LOFAF, where Number 4 is defeating Karkat and Calliope and the Mayor smile at Serenity. Serenity comes back to the Mayor’s hands.

Meanwhile, the ghost army is still facing Lord English and Meenah smiles.

Caliborn then opens the box containing his Juju before we switch back to the ghost army fighting.

Lord English then enters his tomb before coming out naked and just throwing around everyone.

It seems that he has effectively defeated the whole army until Meenah, Tavros, and Aradia come in and fight him.

Aradia freezes him and Tavros and Meenah fight against him. Lord English then breaks free of the freeze.

However, the ghost army was not defeated and a bunch more ghosts, including Shrek, come in and fight Lord English.

Lord English destroys them all, but then Davepetasprite² starts fighting Lord English.

Davepetasprite² then takes the shape of a heart and they start fighting in the form of an Undertale boss.

Davepetasprite² loses the boss fight and Lord English starts laughing.

The screen then switches to a cloud with many dream bubbles in it. It then zooms out to the Skaia at the end of the Condesce’s rod, held by Jane..

The Condesce holds Jane up by her neck and looks as if she is going to kill her.

Jane is dropped to the ground and the Condesce face John, Roxy, Rose, and Kanaya are shown, exhausted.

Meanwhile, Jake fights the Felt, Dad fights Number 15, Spades Slick fights LE-controlled Jack Noir while Dave, Dirk, and Terezi look on, and PM Noir fights Bec Noir.

John is shown next to the tower of houses he built to get to LOWAS. His planet is shown before switching to Rose.

Rose is shown next to the tower of houses she built to get to LOLAR. Derse is shown before switching to Dave.

Dave is shown next to the tower of apartment buildings he built to get to LOHAC. A meteor is shown before switching to Jade.

Jade is shown next to the tower she built to get to LOFAF. LOFAF is shown at the end.

Dave, Dirk, and Terezi are shown facing Spades Slick and LE-controlled Jack Noir, similarly to the beginning.

Dirk and Dave fight LE-controlled Jack Noir, but are fought back.

John, Roxy, and Rose fight the Condesce, but are fought back. Terezi fights Spades Slick, but is fought back. Kanaya fights the Condesce, but is fought back. Terezi fights Spades Slick, but is fought back. John, Rose, and Kanaya fight the Condesce, but are fought back.

Meanwhile, in the refrigerator, Gamzee is very confused and scared.

Dad continues to fight Number 15. Jake continues to fight the Felt and seems to have defeated them, leading Number 7 to look on surprised.

Karkat throws down Number 4 and seems to have defeated him. Number 4’s legs and hands are handcuffed.

Dad throws a pie in Number 15’s face. A tower in Derse falls and Arquiusprite is surprised.

Jade faces both Bec Noir and PM Noir. They are teleported to the sky, then LOTAK, then LOMAX, then LOFAF.

LE-controlled Jack Noir fights off Dirk while Dave seems too tired to fight anymore.

Then, Spades Slick stops fighting Terezi in order to hold back LE-controlled Jack Noir.

PM Noir and Bec Noir both start following Jade. Jade gets in between them and tells them to stop fighting.

Jade seems happy until PM Noir punches Jade down and faces a now-scared Bec Noir.

LE-controlled Jack Noir continues to hold back Dirk, but then Dave cuts the heads of Spades Slick, LE-controlled Jack Noir, and Dirk at once.

Dave uses his time powers to collect both parts of Dirk’s body and to time travel with Terezi.

LE-controlled Jack Noir’s head then emanates an aura that destroys more than half of LOTAK.

Meanwhile, PM Noir and Bec Noir continue to fight on LOFAF. Bec Noir is still scared.

PM Noir cuts off Bec Noir’s arm and he loses his ring, transforming back into Jack Noir.

PM Noir punches Bec Noir down to the ground and raises their hand up in triumph.

Roxy’s sword pierces the Condesce and she falls to the ground.

John, Rose, and Kanaya are seen smiling, albeit exhausted, until it zooms out to yet another curtain over a sunset.

The background then becomes white and the curtain black, which continues until the end of the video.

Submitted April 07, 2016 at 02:09AM by Noble_Mushtak http://ift.tt/1REMFJg homestuck

Tin foil theory regarding trolls and God Tier. Hate if you must, but I figured out a way it could (possibly) work. homestuck

I've recently been reading some BKEW theories, and the one I like the most is the Mituna Method. Hussie never explained the sacrifice, so it seems like a Chekhov's gun. We've also seen Terezi use her Seer powers a lot, plus the whole "blue scare" as I like to call it (the mass outbreak of "OMG THE BLUE CHALK MEANS THAT JOHN IS GOIng TO RETcON TEREEZI! TO gE TE THE gitER!!!!" theories), and such have all been subtle hints to God tiers.

But this post isn't about the Mituna Method, this post is about outdated shit I just noticed, dammit.

Aradia and Vriska. The two trolls to ascend. Well, the two trolls that ascended in the canon timeline, for now. Vriska was a Hero of Light. Aradia was a Hero of Time.

Now, let's look at the two other trolls that have died and been brought back to life, in the canon timeline. Tavros and Kanaya. Kanaya is a Hero of Space. Tavros is a Hero of Breath.

Heroes of Time, Light, Breath, and Space. Sound familiar?

Yup.

Now, let's get to the coincidence.

Human heroes of Light and Time, Rose and Dave, ascended on Derse. The Derse crypt, that is. They were the only two to do so at the time.

That's it. That's the coincidence. Aradia and Vriska + Rose and Dave were "outliers" from their session's ascend-ees.

Here comes the fun part. Obligatory . If you don't like crazy theories that I pulled out of my ass like a knife swallower who actually swallows, I advise you to leave.

This theory depends on some evidence that the Mituna Method also relies on. Not much of it, though. Only the availability of "can two people of the same aspect use the same sacrificial slab". It also relies on some things we're not sure of yet. That being, can sprites go to quest beds and ascend? If not, then sorry Tavros. You'll have to sit out on this crack theory.

Let's see. Kanaya is already alive. So there's no real reason to God tier her. Besides, the Prospit quest crypt was destroyed, Sideshow! Tavros wouldn't have been relevant at all, you fucking cunt! But wait right there, you upturned beetle. Kanaya and Karkat are going to Echidna. Some have theorized that this = God tier.

Wow, amazing! Combine this theory with the Terezi blue chalk scare, and the "Gamzee is already God tier" theory, and that means 5/6 Prospit trolls are ascended.

Sorry, Tavros. Also, Sollux, but do we really want to get into that SHITSTORM!?!?!?!? Besides, are already running around like a drunk bear being ridden by a jackrabbit.

So, that's great! Sideshow just figured something out that PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY THEORIZED. Dammit, Sideshow, you fucking plagiarizing asshat. Stop stealing muh theories.

Well, okay. Here comes the last part, completely thought up by my own self.

Remember Murderstuck? How could I have forgotten, Sideshow? All of the fan favorites were killed off!!!!

But, why is that? In a recent Hussie interview, we remember the fantastic quote of something or other and dead Marios. And then the Dream Bubbles being a place where people struggle to be relevant. People who are going to hate on this theory and call it improbable are probably saying, "Sideshow, you dumbass. He did it because he wanted people to stop focusing on Nepeta and focus on more developed trolls, like Vriska, Terezi, and Karkat."

Well, that might be true. But in the land of TIN FOIL, there is no truth! Only- Wait, I fucked up. Dammit. Oh well.

What I'm trying to say is, let's remember Murderstuck. The trolls killed off were Heroes of Life, Heart, Space, Doom, Time, Light, Void, and Hope. Sure, there's the dead Karkat and Terezi from the Vriska offshoot, but meh. Let's not focus on those dead Mario corpses. I mean, in Mario, the corpses disappear. In Homestuck, the corpses pile up. Eventually, there are so many corpses that the jump you kept failing on, has been filled in with corpses. (That would be a really good idea for a game, now that I think about it.)

So. Feferi, Kanaya, Nepeta, Sollux, Aradia, Vriska, Equius, and Eridan. I might have forgotten some, but who cares?

Now, let's get rid of those still alive or were revived. In the Retjohn timeline.

Sollux (I don't care, he's too shenanigan-y to be counted), Equius, Vriska, Kanaya, and Aradia. That leaves us with Feferi, Eridan, and Nepeta.

Heroes of Life, Hope, and Heart. Sound familiar?

The Alpha Kids.

Their Quest Crypts might still be functional. We don't know if they were destroyed, or if they can be used multiple times over. They haven't been prototyped yet. Vriska has prevented them from being sprited- sprites are alive. If the troll corpses had been sprited, they couldn't revive. Out of the Alpha-aspect-sharing trolls, only Equius was prototyped, and that's because he was needed to become Lord English. After all, we've seen with Bec Noir- Vriska will do anything to secure fortune, like all Light players.

So, Sideshow. I think I understand what you're saying! Feferi, Eridan, and Nepeta can revive! But what if the Quest Crypts don't work, or were destroyed?!?!?! My precious Nepeta will still be dead uwu

The kids have planets, too. And what are Quest Beds, but over glorified Sacrificial Slabs with a change in real estate value. But Sideshow, you baboon! The trolls can only use Quest Cocoons!

I repeat. Over glorified Sacrificial Slabs. Aradia has shown trolls can revive on Sacrificial Slabs. The trolls can maybe ascend on them, but it all depends.

But, Sideshow! It's too late in-comic for the trolls to be revived! If anything, they'll be revived post-endgame, in the epilogue!

Well, yes. It is. But remember- Dream Bubbles are where characters struggle to maintain relevance. Eridan, Feferi, and Nepeta have a chance to become relevant, with all these battles approaching.

Eridan wanted to join Bec Noir. Out of all three, he's the one who's least relevant as of now. Still, Bec Noir. He has a chance to redeem himself by being the one to kill Bec Noir, besides, he might get praise from some of the ladies- I imagine he's still interested in Jade, no?

Next, Feferi. Feferooni, Feferini, anything that can make her sound like an off-brand of pasta. She is the Condesce's heir, and along with Jane, are "destined" to defeat her. Both being Heroes of Life that specialize in restoration of others, they would be able to revive each other, which would be helpful in a duel against the Condesce, the THIEF of Life.

Nepeta. Remember all those theories of her being relevant when it was revealed BKEW's Arquius-Doc Scratch theory was confirmed? Well, I'm seeing this as another chance for Hussie to give a big middle finger to Nepeta fans. While she still could take the kids out of the Sburb Juju, I imagine Hussie will have her try and stop Equius, before being absolutely rekt.

So. There we have it.

Well, Sideshow!?!?!? How will they get to the planets???!?!?!

Remember how Vriska said Tavros had something special, or something like that? Well, he has Breath powers. And like all Pages, soon he will have his time to shine. Like Jake's hope aura, a breath aura has been something I've been dreaming of seeing for a long time. Now, combine that with Gamzee. Gamzee wanted to make up for killing his friends by bringing them back to life- and to him, the first stop was the kernels.

Only one kernel is left unfilled. If it's filled, Gamzee will turn his sights to God tier revival- I remember an old crackpot theory of "gamzee is stealing the corpses, going back in time with aradia's timeturners, and reviving his friends!"

Well, this is a version of that. Instead, Tavros can blow the refrigerator around with his Breathosphere, and Gamzee can revive the trolls.

But, Sideshow!?!?! Vriska said that Gamzee should stay in there!!?!?!?!

Oh, come on. You can't seriously believe Gamzee's going to actually stay in there, can you?

Submitted June 03, 2015 at 09:57PM by SideshowMask http://ift.tt/1IhsHkl homestuck

In which Dave steals Karkat's Crab (random story generation) homestuck

It all started when our overrated adventurer, Karkat Vantas, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the second time it had happened. Feeling abundantly exasperated, Karkat Vantas hit a ripened avocado, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Absolutely thrilled, he realized that his beloved Crab was missing! Immediately he called his so-called friend, Dave Strider. Karkat Vantas had known Dave Strider for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were striking ones. Dave Strider was unique. He was outgoing though sometimes a little... abrasive. Karkat Vantas called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Dave Strider picked up to a very mad Karkat Vantas. Dave Strider calmly assured him that most spotted wolf hamsters sigh before mating, yet disease-carrying chipmunks usually surreptitiously grimace after mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Karkat Vantas. Why was Dave Strider trying to distract Karkat Vantas? Because he had snuck out from Karkat Vantas's with the Crab only five days prior. It was a exotic little Crab... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Karkat Vantas got back to the subject at hand: his Crab. Dave Strider shuddered. Relunctantly, Dave Strider invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Crab. Karkat Vantas grabbed his refrigerator and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Dave Strider realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Crab and he had to do it aptly. He figured that if Karkat Vantas took the noise-polluting import, he had take at least three minutes before Karkat Vantas would get there. But if he took the Desperado rocket chair? Then Dave Strider would be excessively screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Dave Strider was interrupted by eleven funny-smelling Seppucrows that were lured by his Crab. Dave Strider grimaced; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling exasperated, he aimlessly reached for his ripened avocado and recklessly grabbed every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the swamp, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Desperado rocket chair rolling up. It was Karkat Vantas.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at IHOP to pick up a 12-pack of bananas, so he knew he was running late. With a hasty leap, Karkat Vantas was out of the Desperado rocket chair and went explosively jaunting toward Dave Strider's front door. Meanwhile inside, Dave Strider was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Crab into a box of ripened avocados and then slid the box behind his hammock. Dave Strider was exasperated but at least the Crab was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Dave Strider scandalously purred. With a apt push, Karkat Vantas opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some clueless flaming idiot in a deliciously practical 4-door,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Dave Strider assured him. Karkat Vantas took a seat vaguely close to where Dave Strider had hidden the Crab. Dave Strider turned red trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Karkat Vantas was distracted. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Dave Strider noticed a dimwitted look on Karkat Vantas's face. Karkat Vantas slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Dave Strider felt a stabbing pain in his love handle when Karkat Vantas asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Crab right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A insensitive look started to form on Karkat Vantas's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ripened avocados from when she used to have pet venomous koalas. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Karkat Vantas nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Dave Strider could react, Karkat Vantas aggressively lunged toward the box and opened it. The Crab was plainly in view.

Karkat Vantas stared at Dave Strider for what what must've been four nanoseconds. Just as zero people expected Dave Strider groped exotically in Karkat Vantas's direction, clearly desperate. Karkat Vantas grabbed the Crab and bolted for the door. It was locked. Dave Strider let out a flamboyant chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Karkat Vantas,' he rebuked. Dave Strider always had been a little stupid, so Karkat Vantas knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Dave Strider did something crazy, like... start chucking ripened avocados at him or something. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, he gripped his Crab tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Dave Strider looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Karkat Vantas. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Karkat Vantas. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Dave Strider walked over to the window and looked down. Karkat Vantas was gone.

----o0o----

Just yonder, Karkat Vantas was struggling to make his way through the lemur-infested moor behind Dave Strider's place. Karkat Vantas had severely hurt his love handle during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Seppucrows suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Crab. One by one they latched on to Karkat Vantas. Already weakened from his injury, Karkat Vantas yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Seppucrows running off with his Crab.

About five hours later, Karkat Vantas awoke, his fingernail throbbing. It was dark and Karkat Vantas did not know where he was. Deep in the broad secret vineyard, Karkat Vantas was barely lost. Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, he remembered that his Crab was taken by the Seppucrows. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a misshapen Seppucrow emerged from the fanstic pumpkin patch. It was the alpha Seppucrow. Karkat Vantas opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Seppucrow sunk its teeth into Karkat Vantas's love handle. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Karkat Vantas's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.

Less than three miles away, Dave Strider was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Crab. 'MY PRECIOUS!!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened live hand grenade. With a mighty thrust, he buried it deeply into his love handle. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Karkat Vantas... wishing he had found the courage to tell him that he loved him. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Crab that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Seppucrows, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(

P.S.: made using this story generator

Submitted March 19, 2015 at 10:00PM by Ganmorg http://ift.tt/1MNsbtA homestuck

Pointless Battle Royale homestuck

/u/Gearsthecool posted about this: http://ift.tt/1FqmzRE and I thought it would cool to try it out. This the summary of it all.

[Bloodbath]

Cosplayer of Gamzee throws a knife into J. N. Wiedle's head.

John's Bathtub stabs Jude Claire while his back is turned.

Shaggy 2 Dope strangles Malcolm Brown after engaging in a fist fight.

[Day 1]

No deaths occurred.

[Night 1]

IPGD bashes Zack Morrison's head against a rock several times.

[Day 2]

No deaths occurred.

[Night 2]

Andrew Hussie stabs Joey Claire in the back with a trident.

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Dante Basco, and Army of Courtyard Drolls get into a fight. Dante Basco triumphantly kills them both.

[Day 3]

No deaths occurred.

[Night 3]

Byron Hussie dies trying to escape the arena.

Dante Basco kills Cosplayer of Gamzee with his own weapon.

[Day 4]

Violent J bashes Rachel Rocklin's head against a rock several times.

Monstrosity sprite falls into a frozen lake and drowns.

[Night 4]

No deaths occurred.

[Day 5]

No deaths occurred.

[Night 5]

Shaggy 2 Dope and Toby Fox threaten a double suicide. It fails and they die.

[Day 6]

fedorafreak shoots a poisonous blow dart into Ryan North's neck, slowly killing him.

Jane's Refrigerator , IPGD, and Octopimp unsuccessfully ambush Violent J, Dante Basco, and Cosplayer of Karkat, who kill them instead.

[Night 6]

No deaths occurred.

[Day 7]

Dante Basco dies from an infection.

[Night 7]

Violent J unknowingly eats toxic berries.

[Day 8]

Bill Cosby dies from an infection.

[Night 8]

No deaths occurred.

[Day 9]

Andrew Hussie dies from hunger.

Cosplayer of Karkat kills fedorafreak with a hatchet.

[Night 9]

John's Bathtub dies from thirst.

The winner is Cosplayer of Karkat from District 9!

Submitted March 15, 2015 at 09:33PM by Takama12 http://ift.tt/1x6obkq homestuck