Two days before Christmas, 2015. AKA Christmas Eve Eve. Also cancer venting. TheMixedNuts

It's early, but that's no reason not to post yet.

I slept well, which was an accomplishment given I've been weaning myself off sleep aids. Two nights ago replaced doxylamine with a higher dose of melatonin, last night had 2mg instead of 3mg.

My dad is on the phone to get his work login sorted out (yes, probably terminal cancer and he's working two days before Christmas). He has the phone on speaker and it's annoying as shit. He is planning on going on disability shortly after Christmas, but his benefits go up significantly as he reaches his 15 year mark just after Christmas, so he's been putting off going on disability until then. His boss, thank the flying spaghetti monster, has been incredibly kind and kept him on payroll despite his terrible inability to contribute much, even before the cancer diagnosis, and especially after the diagnosis. It was probably his boss' idea to wait to go on disability until his benefits go up significantly.

We'd been worried he'd been so exhausted at work he had probably been napping and it was impeding his job security (he's our primary source of income), but everyone starts being nice when they hear pancreatic cancer. I'm sort of thankful for that. The pity though, it kind of hurts. And I'm sick of everyone bringing food. I know part of it is the holidays and all, but our refrigerator and freezer are stuffed and we have no room for this crap. And what can stay outside them are baked goods, and god knows my diet doesn't need that. And his being on the phone to reset his password for work is stressing me out.

I'm not sure if I should be giddy for Christmas presents in two days or just anxious because he's so sick.

And I'm losing focus, so I'll just leave it at that.

Edit: HOW'RE YOU? TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY!

Submitted December 23, 2015 at 07:37PM by scurius http://ift.tt/1IqgKKu TheMixedNuts

2-11-2015 Check Ins TheMixedNuts

Hey everyone. How's it going? I am tired and in a terrible mood.

I've had a busy day. Went to my baby appointment (where I decided what screening tests I want to take), then went to my parents...it was super loud there. They were getting a new refrigerator which had to be assembled inside the house (and the old one had to be taken apart) and my dad had to talk ABOVE the noise to the delivery guys about tv shows. Then he wanted me to put all his shit in to the new fridge for him. Uhhh 80% of that stuff is expired like 2 years ago, I was ready to throw it all away but of course they wouldn't have liked that so I just walked away. I made lunch...my mom said "You're getting fat" so I went off on her. I'm 5'7, I weigh 110 lbs, and I have not gained a single pound in the past 8 years. I told her she was fucking rude and to keep her mouth shut. Even if I was gaining weight, it would be baby weight, and babies are not made out of fat, they're made out of guts and shit. I've had people talk shit to me about my weight all of my fucking life. They just don't stop. I don't appreciate it coming from my mother. Next time I'm gonna tell her she's getting fucking ugly or something. And my dad kept walking around asking me if I was cooking something. Yes, I am cooking something. "Oh." A few minutes later... "It smells like you're cooking something. Are you cooking something?" Yes, I just told you I'm cooking something. "Oh yeah. Right. Should I pack a pipe?" I'm pregnant. I'm not going to smoke weed right now. I told you that last week. And the week before. And the week before. And the week before. "oh. Ok. Well do you want to try the weed infused whiskey?" I'M PREGNANT. I CAN'T DRINK. "Oh. Right." Every single time.

So last week I called my rental management because they'd sent me a letter saying they were going to do an inspection today between 9 and 3 (call them if I wasn't going to be home so that I could reschedule), and I wasn't going to be home until 2. So yeah, I called to tell them that and they said "Ok she will come out after 2". I got home at 1:20pm and there was already a card on my door to say that I needed to reschedule because I wasn't home. They never have their shit together. I called them up like WTF. Now i'm waiting for them to show up and I'm exhausted. I need a nap, I'm super grumpy, I don't feel good. I just hope I'm not rude to the stupid inspector when he or she comes by.

Submitted February 12, 2015 at 04:45AM by ifoundxaway http://ift.tt/1zN3h8F TheMixedNuts