Portland highschoolers Portland

I was driving to work yesterday when a Portland highschooler pulled up to me on his fixie at a stoplight.

"Hey," he said, "I need you to move. We're repurposing this road into a 36 foot wide bike lane with 5 layers of striping. You know, because then it will be PROTECTED."

"I don't have time for this, I need to get to work - I have a meeting with the engineering team."

"Of course you do, you scumsucking techbro."

"Come on, get out of the way, the light's green."

"Why don't you check your light privilege?!?"

I took a bite of my breakfast burrito in anger.

"Hey," he asked with a grimace, "are you of burrito making origin?"

"No, I make them once a week and keep them in the freezer."

"Of course you do, you cultural refrigerator."

"I don't think that's word you're looking for...I can't wait to tell my wife about this," I muttered.

"You shouldn't mansplain to her," he snorted.

"We always talk about our day over a glass of wine."

"It's guys like you who propagate grape culture."

"What do you know about grape culture?"

"Everything, my parents and I moved here from Norcal 6 months ago."

"Great, you shouldn't act like you own the place. Stop needling me."

"If I wanted needles I'd go to the park."

I opened my mouth to respond when he suddenly dropped dead in fits and convulsions from heavy doses of lead poisoning that had been denied and covered up by inept PPS administrators - who, despite having the largest K-12 budget in Oregon, had failed to provide clean drinking water to the children in their charge, leaving them little more than a smug sense of superiorty over the suburbs, which they parroted everytime they posted on /r/portland.

The end.

Submitted June 25, 2017 at 09:41AM by homeless2housie http://ift.tt/2tIc9O5 Portland

landlord question Portland

so i moved out of my old apartment about a month ago and i received my deposit back but my landlord took about $300 out for cleaning of the refrigerator and stove. that seemed like a lot so i asked her to provide me with the receipts from the professionals who did it. my question is is she allowed to do it herself and then make up a price? i want to know if it's legal before i proceed to keep emailing her about it.

side note: as i lived there, many issues arose. the refrigerator leaked consistently all over the floor, the door literally fell off its hinges from dry rot... etc. EVERY TIME she got her husband to come "fix" these things.

Submitted May 25, 2017 at 08:47AM by bloodypillows http://ift.tt/2qi6VGV Portland

[homemade] Pizza, slow dough fermentation in the refrigerator. Portland

http://ift.tt/2iPNqAY

Submitted January 20, 2017 at 04:47AM by The_Domestic_Diva http://ift.tt/2jEFuql Portland

Questions About What To Do About Apartment Not Up To Code Portland

Been in my apartment about a year and a half. Steady revolving door of maintenance people and property managers. Since we've moved in we've had issues that needed to be fixed or addressed and they've fell on deaf ears. Our CO2 detector and Smoke Alarm have both become faulty and have yet to replace them. Takes 5-10min to get hot water (and then it's only luke warm), can't open my stove more than half way due to the door hitting my refrigerator, zero water pressure, unfinished spots on our walls, the list goes on. Just wondering if I have any course of action other than continue to ask them to fix my stuff or if I just have to deal with it. Thanks.

Submitted December 06, 2016 at 07:59AM by lil_poppapump http://ift.tt/2gWXwQA Portland

Safe and open places to shoot in National Forests surrounding Portland Portland

I am looking for an open and safe place to shoot riffles in the national forests outside of Portland. By open and safe, I mean, free/unsupervised but not overrun with the type of people that dump and shoot at refrigerators and other trash. If you know of state forests that allow target shooting, that would accomplish the same goal :)

Submitted August 20, 2015 at 11:12PM by k3rmat http://ift.tt/1MGplJv Portland

Since 80% of Oregon is experiencing a drought, here's some ways to conserve water: (*also, you shouldn't be washing your clothes in warm/ hot water) link to article in post. Portland

Residential Water Users

Lawn and Garden

Outdoor water use accounts for almost half the water used by the American home, and thus provides the greatest single opportunity for conserving. Water early in the morning before 10:00 a.m. Watering in the heat of the day allows the water to evaporate and watering late in the day may promote fungus and other lawn diseases. Depending on the weather, it’s generally better to water once a week and provide 1 inch to 1 ½ inches of water. (If it’s hot, you might have to water more often.) Time how long it takes to apply one inch of water by placing a flat-bottomed can about 6-feet away from the sprinkler.

Do not mow lawns too short; taller grass requires less water.

Consider letting your lawn brown out. It will come back.

Repair Leaks Check faucets and hose connections for leaks. Inspect pipes for pinhole leaks, and leaking joints. A slow drip can waste 15 to 20 gallons a day. Fix it and you will save almost 6,000 gallons a year.

Showers and Baths: Use low volume showerheads. They are inexpensive and can pay for themselves in water, sewer and energy savings in less than a year. For a five minute shower they can reduce water usage from some 40 gallons to 12 to 15 gallons.

Toilets

Flush only when needed. Do not use the toilet as a trash can. Put a water displacement device inside the toilet tank. Check for leaks. (If it's yellow ...)

Clothes Washer and Dishwasher Do only full loads. Avoid using extra cycles whenever possible. Choose a water-saving model.

Drinking Water Keep a container of cool water in the refrigerator instead of running the faucet. Leave the water off when brushing your teeth or shaving. Don't buy bottled water!!!

Garbage Disposal

Use the sink disposal sparingly.

Car Washing

Rinse car once, wash from bucket, rinse quickly again. Be sure to use a shut-off nozzle on your hose.

Please contact your individual water utility for more information on water conservation. Following are links to some utilities with informational websites on water use and conservation (even if you don´t live in these cities, the websites contain a multitude of useful information).

http://ift.tt/1dvO9Fk

Why are you still washing your clothes in warm water?

http://ift.tt/1BnR8Vx

Submitted May 27, 2015 at 03:20AM by helicopter_at_face http://ift.tt/1dvO70f Portland

Commercial refrigerator rental? Portland

http://ift.tt/1HckYSq



Submitted April 11, 2015 at 12:54AM by absurdummm http://ift.tt/1Fv7MUc Portland

Anyone know where I can get rid of a partially working refrigerator. Portland

I live in Montavilla near 82nd and Glisan and would prefer something convenient. Thanks.

Submitted February 15, 2015 at 12:33AM by thesensitivetoughguy http://ift.tt/1vubppn Portland

Help! I need housing around inner Portland! Housemates? Studio? Cottage? $600-800 a month Portland

Hey, I have to leave my current living situation by the end of this month and am having extreme difficulty in finding a place. I know this is horrible time with all the students moving in, but it's just how my cards have fallen. I have some requirements that are making the search extremely difficult. I need to be bottom level, parking nearby and room for a small rack for storage and a my own personal refrigerator which i will be providing. If anybody needs a roommate or has an idea on where to look that would much appreciated. A bit about myself I am a 30 year old male, small business owner that works a lot and is out of the house most of the day. I'm quiet and respectful. I enjoy traveling, playing and listening to music, and hiking. If you have any ideas for please PM me. Thanks.

Submitted September 22, 2014 at 02:19AM by holdencaulfield360 http://ift.tt/1utxMem Portland