Greetings, /r/DNM community! I have traveled far and wide from the cold depths of my refrigerator, through the long central hallway, all the way here to the couch, where my 'Hello Kitty' DarkNet-exclusive laptop was waiting patiently to transport me here on the internet to write another disorganized and unnecessarily long meth review.
The review will begin after this short message from our sponsors.
Sad, isn't it? What has society come to?
...Anyway, how about that review? Let's start with the classic, vague, and too often misused "point scale" system:
Setting
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Vendor - MrSuperMario53
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Market - Agora
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Product - 3.5 Grams Methamphetamine
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Price - $125 [Escrow] + Free USPS Priority Shipping
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Countries - Domestic (USA to USA)
Vendor
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Communication - 10/10
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Shipping - 9/10
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Stealth - 10/10
Product
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Weight - 10/10
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Product Quality - 9.5/10
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Price Value - 10/10
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Aesthetic - 10/10
Now that that's out of the way, on the more detailed review. I must first warn you, though: As this post is what we here call a "crazy meth-fueled review", there will likely be some information that may or may not be necessary, relevant, repetitive, interesting, or coherent. Please feel free to skip through any of my aimless ranting to only the useful information. I won't be insulted, I promise. It's largely for my own amusement anyway. If you wish to post a comment telling me that I need to find Jesus, go ahead and have your illusory moment of moral superiority and near-sainthood. You deserve it.
Background (and perhaps some pointless rambling, you can skip to "communication"): I don't know why I say this in every review, but maybe it's relevant. I'm a responsible user, have been for about 2 years now, although people just can't grasp that for some reason. Can someone really use meth responsibly? Yes, I do and I'm sure many, many people on this subreddit do too. I wish I could be on meth every day, but I know that using it regularly is almost certainly neurotoxic. Add in all the tweakers who stay up for several days in a row completely skipping basic hygiene such as constantly staying hydrated, eating, bathing, brushing their teeth, etc. After a good while of that is when you start to look like the people in those "Faces of Meth" posters and billboards.
I may be straying a bit off topic there, sorry about that. The actual relevant point (yes, there is one) I was trying to make in the beginning of that rant of a paragraph was that I'm not a daily user. I indulge every 1-2 months. Because of this I find it fun to try and order from as many different vendors as possible - big and small - until I can proudly declare that I've bought from literally every meth vendor on the DNMs and have my accomplishment recorded in The Guinness Book of World Records and win me the Nobel Junkie Prize (do they pay the prize money in bitcoin, by any chance?). The possible downside, of course, is that each order is a new surprise in terms of quality (among everything else). It's like a raffle, sometimes I get pretty clean stuff and sometimes I get stuff so horrible I just throw it away. Still, I like the suspense. It's fun. I've already tried way more vendors than I can count, but there are always new vendors opening shop. Just as of relatively recently a lot of big meth vendors went MIA or exit scam, and in swarmed a shitload of new vendors, many of which are moving up rapidly (some might even be old vendors starting with a new name, who knows).
Anyway, I was browsing Agora and spotted a meth listing by this vendor MrSuperMario53. I enjoy reading product listings just for the hell of it, even if I don't intend to buy them, so I opened it and it says the meth is sourced directly from a Mexico super-lab. I obviously can't know if that's true (every vendor makes claims about their product that is left up to trust), or even if that's a good thing or not. I didn't care, though; What caught my eye was the price: $125 for an eighth. I thought "no way, it must be either an FE scam or really shitty meth." I checked his profile and saw nothing but positive feedback. I also found two other reviews on reddit that were positive. I usually buy only one gram at a time, but the price was just too tempting, so I ordered.
Communication: I had a few questions to ask before ordering, so I messaged him. I got a response very quickly, and he was extremely professional and friendly. I sometimes find vendors intimidating, especially ones that can't really write coherently, or just talk to you like you're buying from them at 1am behind a skrtchy old abandoned McDonald's. So communication with Mr. Super was super (heh).
Shipping: There is only one shipping option, and it's free USPS Priority (with tracking), which is pretty damn attractive. I ordered on Wednesday around noon and it was marked confirmed a few hours later, but not shipped. I figured I missed the cutoff time for same-day shipping. (Thanks, Blockchain. Am I as invisible to you as I am to women? I just want my meth.) Come Thursday night and it still hasn't been marked as shipped so I again asked for an update. He replied saying that he got a lot more traffic than expected (common vendor defense) and couldn't get all the orders out without compromising stealth. As frustrating as it is, understand that it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's actually great. I give him props for not half-assing stealth so he can get more orders out. I'd rather spend an extra 24 hours staring out the window scanning for my mailman in exchange for proper OPSEC. On Friday he sent me a message saying that it was shipped that morning, and apologized again for the delay. He also refunded 50% of my order. For a one-day delay. Now that is above and beyond.
Stealth: Okay, so obviously I can't reveal details of Mr. Super's super-stealth. But I will say this without a second thought: The stealth is fucking genius, possibly the best I've ever seen, at least for this type of product. I mean seriously, it's very clever. If an unknowing roommate or spouse were to open the package, look through it, even take everything out they will not find a thing. It took me a good while to actually find the drug.
Weight: Unfortunately my scale has been broken and I'm too lazy to buy a new one. Maybe when I'm high enough on meth I'll go out and get one. The weight looked about right, maybe even over by a bit.
Product Quality: Ah, the most fun part of a meth review. I will be writing from two different angles, one from smoking and another from insufflation (sorry, no report for IV users, ya'll need to find Jesus). First, in the wise words of /u/Vendor_BBMC, a Senior Methamphetamine Monk of the British Tor Vendor’s Association:
The only way to tell the quality is to melt it and smoke it from a new, clean glass pipe.
Unless you can afford a mass spectrometer. Then definitely go with that. Personally I'd rather spend all my money on meth. I’ll stick to the old school “smoke this mystery substance and hope you don't start foaming at the mouth” method.
Smoking: I pinched up some of the tiny crystals and loaded it into the pipe (yes, it was both new and clean). I began the sacred ritual by slowly heating the glass bulb. It took a bit longer than usual, but after a while there was some vapor starting to form first, and soon after the crystals started melting down into a clear puddle and I tried to spread it around. I removed the heat, and the meth recrystallized in just a few seconds. It looked clean - no weird colors or anything like that. So far so good. I then tried taking big hit. I inhaled for a while, but when I exhaled there was almost no smoke coming out of my mouth. That is one sign of possible MSM traces. However, nearly all other meth I’ve ever tried has mostly (if not entirely) coated the stem a bold, cloudy white after the initial vaporization, indicating high levels of MSM (which was confirmed as I would continue tasting MSM with every single hit). With this stuff, there was no noticeable white coating at all forming anywhere in the pipe. “Let’s try this again.” I waited a while for the bulb to fill with thick vapor until it went “CHOO CHOO” and started shooting out the hole on top of the bulb, like a train "chimney" (what the hell are those things actually called?). Now I started inhaling slowly. Before I even finished fully inhaling I was hit with an intense rush - the type that makes you feel like your brain is being rapidly flooded with dopamine. I kept inhaling slowly until I couldn’t anymore, and as I exhaled I felt as if my brain was now submerged in dopamine. This lasted for a few long seconds even after the last bit of vapor spread out to invisibility. Holy shit, what a ride. I took a few more hits. Not as intense a rush as the first, but certainly noticeable. For about an hour and a half after that - a bit longer than usual - I was cruising at a comfortable and moderately euphoric high, free of twitching, clenching, biting, etc. After about 3 hours I could feel myself starting come down. It wasn’t too heavy, but I did feel a bit groggy (normal for meth), and also had some twitchy-ness for a while. This was eased with 750mg of Magnesium. In terms of smoking, this is definitely some of the best meth I’ve had. The only other vendor I could compare it to is the first batch I ever got from NarcoticsAnonymous (RIP) over 2 years ago.
Snorting: I waited until the next day to try snorting as I wanted to make sure I could differentiate between the effects. At about 8am I crushed up roughly 60mg into a powder and split it into two bumps - one ~40mg and another ~20mg (Note: I’m fairly good at eyeballing at this point, but of course it’s impossible to record exact dosages without a scale, so do take my estimate with a grain of meth.) I snorted the larger bump first, and right away... BOOM - a painful but cooling burn as sharp as, uh... I don’t know, a recently sharpened knife? I love the burn, it’s refreshing. Right away I do the other smaller bump through the other nostril. Not even 30 seconds pass and I get a sudden burst of energy equivalent to a thousand supernovae. I literally jumped up, and then started quickly pacing around the room. I’ve never felt this energized, even from higher doses of other meth. I was able to calm myself down after a minute. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. When I re-opened my eyes I felt so euphoric and uplifted that I couldn’t stop smiling. It's odd, it felt very similar to MDMA. I returned to a more stable state after a few minutes, but the euphoria, the pure bliss and contentment were still going strong. Paradoxically, the most powerful stimulant on Earth made me feel as calm as ever. This peak lasted until about 2:00pm (six hours!), and I was still moderately high for 2-3 hours after that. The high was very clear-headed which allowed me to get a lot of work done. I felt almost no side effects except for dry mouth (worse than usual), but I drank a lot of water and was fine. Much to my surprise, the comedown was smooth. A bit of twitching, but again taking some Magnesium helped. I actually questioned whether this was even meth because I don't think I've ever felt this good on it before, and it’s never lasted more than 2-4 hours. It was great.
Price Value: Of all the vendors I've tried, MrSuperMario53 is by far in the lead when it comes to price value. You can't beat $125 for an eighth. That comes out to around $36 per gram. The quality easily surpasses a lot of meth that I’ve paid $70/g or more for. I have no idea how he manages to make a profit off that. I have to admit it seems seems too good to be true.
Aesthetics: It was all very small crushed crystals that were mostly mostly clear. I could see how the stealth method would require that. I really don't care about shard size as it is no indication of purity.
Conclusion: Overall I am very impressed. The vendor is helpful, professional, and way beyond fair. Stealth is insanely good. I think the meth has a very minute amount of MSM, but is still without a doubt some of the best I’ve ever come across. I really do hope that I didn’t just get lucky with a rare super-batch. That’s the only thing I’m actually worried about. I think that if MrSuperMario53 can keep the product quality consistent he’s gonna rise very fast, and I’ll definitely use him as my go-to for high-quality meth.
Thanks for reading.
Submitted August 02, 2015 at 08:59PM by LSDdisappointment http://ift.tt/1N27fyd DarkNetMarkets
