So my friend from out of town came over today and he wanted to see what all the hype was with Destiny 2. So I had him create a character and play the first mission. Here are some of the quotes from his playthrough:
Cabal attack cinematic
“Ok, so the base is being taken over by giant magnets, and a big smurf is pretty mad about it. Where’s Yoda again?”
Acquires The Last Dance after talking to Shaxx
“So I start with a stapler? How do I kill aliens with a stapler?”
Fires The Last Dance
“That… is an aggressive stapler.”
On reaching the Tower Courtyard
“So… the kabobs are taking over the earth?”
“These people need to take better care of their base…it’s a complete mess.”
Looks at Zavala
“That dude is like a refrigerator with legs…”
“Wait, I have two jumps? Is this Super Mario Party?”
“WAIT, THE OTHER CLASS THROWS SHIELDS AND HAMMERS? WHY DID I PICK THE SKINNY ONE?”
Ikora shows up and blows up the cabal ship
“Who is this bald woman? Is she my wife? Does she want to be?”
“So I shoot the big guy with the glowing gun? Misses every shot “Can I have hammers now?”
Ghost falls on the ground “MY RUBIK’S CUBE!”
Plays one round of Crucible
“Ok, I get it: if you shoot first, you win. Unless there’s two of them, then you die no matter what.”
“OTHER CLASSES CAN FLY?!”
Friend is generally a funny dude, but I thought the raw perspective was hilarious. Hope you did too.
Submitted October 07, 2017 at 12:22PM by RowdyRonto http://ift.tt/2fSp8XT DestinyTheGame
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