I got a dog to help my depression but so far that decision has only made it worse. SuicideWatch

I'm gonna try to keep this as short as I can.

I got my heartbroken suddenly in December and I'm still not over it. Right after that my grandma who was basically my best friend sudden passed away. My parents forced me to go to college at home where I have very little freedom and most of my friends left. I feel like I wasted my hard work in high school by going to a mediocre university where I don't feel like I fit in and I have no friends. I have a job but it pays terribly. Whenever I've tried to tell my mom that I'm going to apply for another job she cries and gets angry and tells me that I shouldn't get a job but stay home and clean the house for money from them. I've been taking care of my sister's dog for most of the time for about 3 years because she leaves her with me but when she takes her dog back I get even more sad because it helps me to not feel so lonely.

I had been asking my mom if I could have a dog of my own for months because I felt like it would help me to not feel as sad. Whenever I try to tell her about my mental health problems she brushes it off. My dad, sister and uncle thought it would be a great idea for me to get a dog since I've done so well with caring for my sister's dog. My mom rejected the idea but we all figured she could grow to love my dog and we adopted one anyways. So far my dog has been amazing but my mom basically kicked me out to live with my sister because of it.

My sister doesn't even stay at her house because none of the appliances work and she doesn't care to fix them but stays with her boyfriend instead. Now I'm stuck here with two dogs in a house with basically nothing else and my sister is gone as usual.

I feel stupid for thinking I could have handled them both and myself included. Now I have to get a new job and continue with school and take care of two dogs, in a house without a working oven, refrigerator, washer, dryer or air conditioner. I didn't expect this to happen and I didn't think my actions through and I feel so stupid.

If I weren't a Christian and thought I would go to hell for suicide I would have killed myself already. But now I'm coming to a breaking point.

Submitted July 12, 2017 at 10:54PM by ummsoyeah http://ift.tt/2sQCybF SuicideWatch