I need a plan raisedbynarcissists

I am an anxious person. And plagued with procrastination issues. I do lists of things. To be able to focus, and to give myself courage to accomplish a task of more than a few steps.

And something came up that means I need a plan fast.

I'll be done with school in 11 months from now. I'll be a graphic designer. And once upon a time, in one of these situations Nmom seems to forget about because it wasn't advantageous for her, she told me I could still stay for a year with her after graduation, to take the time to get a job and make some savings.

And a few days ago, she told me I had crippling OCD ( I don't have OCD, I just like clean and organized places) to which I answered she had OCD "too" because she gets heavily distressed when things aren't at the right place. She got all passive-aggressive and asked what I meant. I told her that (once upon a tine she doesn't remember) she admitted she had OCD after yelling at me for a misplaced thing. She said "ohhh yeah, I THINK I remember.... By the way, when are you moving out?"

So the threats about kicking me out unprepared are back. And I need a plan. So I'm asking you, guys, the ones who are planning to leave, and the ones who already had the courage to do so. I need a plan. I need to write down what I need to do. What furnitures I'd absolutely need? What things to consider in a budget when you live alone? What support can I get? What tricks do I need to learn? How can I protect myself from my N when I'll be away but not NC? ...What boundaries are okay for me to set? Is it fine if I don't give my adress to her? Should I give a spare key to anyone, and if yes, who? When you move out, do you need to have someone as a backpayer, like if I couldn't afford to pay, do I NEED to have someone responsible of paying? If yes, who could I get? I don't want my Nmom's name linked to my stuff.

I opened my own bank account, it was always only mine and I refused when my mom asked to link hers to mine "so paying your rent will be easier". I have a credit card, the bank gave one to me and I only accepted it because they offered and one day I'll need proof I can pay my debts. But I don't use it... Some day I will, for like a few bucks, and pay it right away. I already have my birth certificate and other very important papers in my hands, hidden somewhere safe.

I have a few things in boxes, that people gave for my future. Some mugs, and a few kitchen things, a toaster, a wok, other stuff like that. I have a bed set (mattress, the wood thingy that goes under, the bed frame, 2 nightstands), a desk, two dressers​, a tv, a tv table, a bookcase, and a chest that's fine enough to be a coffee table as well as storage. I don't think i need much else than the kitchen table and chairs. Maybe a sofa, but I could end up in a studio, and I wouldn't have room for that...

I know a refrigerator and a stove are pretty important. Washing machine and drying machine can wait, there's laundromat in the city, even if they are pretty far from Nmom, I wasn't planning on staying close to her.

I don't want cable, but I'll need internet and a phone, for work. The summers are hellish where I live so air conditioning is vital.

Nmom works in a municipal library, so I can't change my address there, I might even need to close my file and give back my card, so she won't be able to find me with that. Shame for the books, but at the same time she uses my card non-stop and allow overdue book fee to accumulate on my file, so I can't trust her , she might "forget" books and make me pay for them. I'd have to find a way to keep her from re-opening my file without my permission...

This is getting kinda long so I'll just post this and keep the brainstorm on paper. If you have advices, I'm all ears​ (eyes?).

Submitted June 16, 2017 at 03:22AM by Lybelleworm http://ift.tt/2tsj4tK raisedbynarcissists