So, I noticed my bf has a habit of being really gross about cleaning his apartment and realizing and fixing broken items in his apartment (for both previous and current apartment).
E.g.
Old apartment broken items that needed fixing:
-Heater not working correctly
-Bathroom sink had large cracks in it
-Bathroom sink knob was leaking water
-laundry dryer would not close
and the rest he keeps really gross. I'm afraid to touch the oven and kettle or anything on top of the oven because it's covered in crud and oil.
We were thinking about moving in together and he found a bigger place for us to move into together. He moved first then the plan was I will move later when my lease is up. My lease is almost up and I still feel unsure about moving in with him (mostly because of what I mentioned above and his lack of empathy).
When I came over his new place, I complained the elevator didn't work and he told me it's been out 2 weeks and he asked the landlord about it and he said he's on it. Then I called 311, so that it could be fixed (I was worried my moving company would charge me through the roof if I didn't have an elevator and I needed to move in my stuff). It was fixed/handled shortly after.
Then I tried to turn on the vents in the bathroom after I took a shower and now the vents don't work (This should work since this building was practically just built). I told him to ask the landlord about it and he said ok.
He sent an email to his landlord and it said the following:
"My girlfriend is concerned about the vents in the bathroom and kitchen because they don't make any noise. Are they working?"
This ticked me off because it says, "My girlfriend said" and "they don't make any noise". I told him there's no suction and the bathroom is still humid, so they must not be working. Okay no suction noise too but omg. I felt like he doesn't care about this issue and that he said "my girlfriend said" like I'm nagging him about it.
I told him about it and his response was: "I thought they might just be real quiet. Sorry, you were the one who asked about it. The vents weren't a major concern for me."
I could be overreacting but this makes me feel like he doesn't care about things in the apartment. Like if something is broken, I'd contact the landlord if it's his responsibility to fix it (esp. with the crazy amount of rent he's paying) or if it's an easy fix to do it yourself. Like even the water filters in the refrigerator need to be replaced and he's been living there for two months now and has not replaced them. I jotted down the model number and I'm going to replace it myself.
I just feel like I always have to do the work of fixing things or cleaning his place when I show up. And at least he can be empathetic or understand where I'm coming from but he doesn't care apparently.
This is driving me nuts.
tl;dr: I [27/f] don't like how my bf [29/m] responded about asking the landlord to fix the vents and I'm thinking about moving in with him soon, so I wish he'd care more. He doesn't seem to care about fixing and cleaning things in the apartment and it irks me. What should I do? I'm going to have to make a decision about moving in with him soon but I don't know how to best approach this.
We've been dating for a year and 8 months now.
Submitted June 15, 2017 at 01:02AM by datingadvice27 http://ift.tt/2risbwu relationships
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