Saint Peter explains that before they are allowed in, they need to tell him the story of their death.
The first man explains, "Well, I was having a bad day at work, so I left early and came home. When I got to my apartment, I noticed that my wife was there, and loud moans were coming from the bedroom. I thought she might have a man in there so I ran and got my hammer, and couldn't help but start shouting that I was going to kill him. I get into the bedroom with my hammer, and sure enough there she is trying to throw on her clothes. I run out to the balcony, where I find the guy she was sleeping with, dangling off the balcony, probably trying to jump down to the apartment below us. Well I start bashing his fingers with my hammer until he lets go. We live on the 9th floor, but it looked like he didn't die because he landed on a bush. He was definitely injured though because he wasn't moving much. I was so furious that I needed to kill him. I looked around my apartment for something heavy to drop on him. I don't know where I got the strength from, but I lifted up my refrigerator and hoisted it over the balcony, where it fell 9 storied, and crushed him. I was so upset that I jumped over the balcony myself, and that's how I died."
The 2nd man goes "well I live on the 11th floor of an apartment building. I was home, out on my balcony enjoying myself, when all of a sudden a huge gust of wind came and blew me off the balcony. I scrambled to grab on to anything and luckily I caught the balcony a few floors below me. As I was struggling to pull myself up, this madman came out with a hammer and started smashing my fingers in! I couldn't hold on and fell all the way to the ground. Luckily again, I landed on a bush and was dazed, but okay. Then I looked up and saw this huge box start to fall on me. It got bigger... and bigger...and SPLAT. It smashed me, and that's how I died."
The 3rd man goes, "Well, I left work early to go back to my secretary's apartment, to have some fun. As things started heating up, I heard someone come into her apartment. She told me her husband is crazy and I'd better go hide. I looked and looked for somewhere to hide, when finally I decided on, the refrigerator..."
edit: Sorry that you wasted your time reading this terrible joke!
Submitted July 18, 2016 at 04:01AM by Yankee9204 http://ift.tt/29Oh8oD Jokes
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