Hello interwebs, I am u/MARTHPRINCEOFNOTHING and I think I am being hunted by the ghost of Smash Bros. 4. Things get a bit spooky, so get a new pair of underwear in case you ass-vomit. It all started a month ago when I was sitting in my house, on my couch, playing Super Mario 3D World, on my Wii U. I loved Nintendo more than anyone else, so I decided to go to a random neighborhood to pick up a copy of Smash Bros. at a garage sale. I liked playing Brawl back in the late 2000's, but now it was time to get some new material. I got in my 1969 Ford Cadillac Charger and set off to find the right copy. I drove through what seemed like endless generic Creepypasta video game story formulas until I reached my first garage sale. I was able to nab a Pro Nunchuk and a copy of Nintendogs: Turtles Edition for $20 yen, but I didn't get a copy of SSB4, so I kept scouring. Finally, after sifting through 10 garage sales, I was at my Final Destination. The last garage sale creeped me out though because the guy running it had to be older than Mick Jagger and he only had one box that said "Memes". Things got too creepy when I saw that box, so I dashed to my car. Suddenly, someone grabbed my wrist and I saw it was the old guy. He had the Meme box in his other hand and asked, "Is this what you're looking for?" and told me to look inside the box. Inside it was a blue case for a disc and a piece of paper in it that said, "SSB4 for kids". I had no idea how he knew what I wanted, but I ignored that and I asked how much it was. He said it was $40 yen, so naturally I yelled, "FUCK YOU!", pushed him over, and stole the copy. I got in my car and sped off as fast as I could. I checked the rear-view mirror to see him, but he wasn't moving and he just laid there. Of course though, I wasn't gonna turn around to check on that guy like seriously, $40 yen for a used copy of Smash Bros.? Lol, fuck that guy. Anyway, I arrived at my house a couple of weeks later (had to stop for groceries) and I was ready to play! I popped the disc in my Wii U, then all of a sudden, my refrigerator opened up by itself! I was really scared at this point so I go and check my fridge. Step by step, I crawled all the way to my fridge and when I opened it, THERE WAS 5 BUCKETS OF KFC'S EXTRA CRISPY CHICKEN! I yelled out in horror and raced outside to have everyone look at me. They all stared at me in horror and I was really confused why but then I looked down at my legs and realized I didn't have any pants on and there was a brown streak on the front of my underwear and a yellow one on my ass! I then was truly terrified and I called the police to report the incident. That was a bad idea because they didn't believe me and also fined me for "public indecency". Public indecency my dick. But anyway, fast forward to 3 days earlier from today and I decide to give the game another chance. It was 12 a.m. and I haven't played my Wii U or even touched it since then, so the copy is still inside. I turn on the console to be met by the same start-up menu and icons, when the game icon pops up with a red Smash Bros. logo instead of the usual blue one. I'm very scared but I convince myself that some nerd hacked this game, probably that cheap old guy. I press the icon to start playing and as soon as it loads up, something was very unusual. The start up screen said, "Super Smash Bros. 666 for adults", and the background was blood red. This time, I wasn't scared and thought it was the hacker. It faded to black and started loading like it should. 12 years later, the loading is done and I look up at the screen. I was met by the same 666 start up screen and under it was a sentence saying, "Press the A button 666 times to start". After a couple of seconds of rapid button tapping, I was on the menu screen. It was the same menu, it had "Smash" and all the other in-game icons there, but it had a blood red background with a bunch of 666's floating in the back like the character portraits. Hacker obviously, trying to scare me again. I pressed Smash so I could start playing, then all of a sudden, the game crashed and a black screen appeared. All of a sudden, the old man's face popped up and started yelling like Loud Nigra. I covered my ears, still watching. Suddenly, the face disappeared and slowly, text begin to show. It said, "reddit is garbage". I screamed in fear as I knew this wasn't a hacker. everyone loves reddit and I know no human would EVER say that. Then and there, I knew the truth. Satan hacked my Smash Bros. I threw my Wii U out the window and vowed only to play PC for the rest of my life. But, the game is still haunting me. I see it in my dreams and Satan is beating me in a game. I wake up and scream every night now for the rest of my life, so I have two pieces of advice for you. Never go to garage sales ever and never submit to r/shittynosleep.
Submitted July 22, 2016 at 11:04AM by MARTHPRINCEOFNOTHING http://ift.tt/2afM57T shittynosleep
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