Become aware of situations that lead you to bury yourself in reddit/netflix/browsing/videogames raisedbynarcissists

I just wanted to share a tidbit of advice that I've come up that describes my situation and the hidden impact of living with N's.

I've noticed that I often leave an undesirable interaction and bury myself in other alone-type activities. This doesn't seem like a problem at first because I also try to maintain a semi-decent social life.

The problem occurs when having even the slightest non-trivial conversation with a N traps you into a discussion that is either useless, insulting, or otherwise angering. So, the normal solution that most people use is Low-Contact, e.g. avoiding conversations except small talk platitudes. This might work well with co-workers and neighbors, but it can have a devastating effect on your personal development if it's with people you live with, if you do it for long enough. It's really only a temporary solution to be used/dosed carefully.

Eventually, you reach a point where you avoid so much meaningful conversation, that you put off life projects if it involves your LC N's in any capacity. Something as simple as asking them advice on a purchase decision, implementing a new diet / refrigerator management strategy, changing your work schedule, etc. Anything that requires the involvement of the other person even in some small capacity makes you cringe, so you postpone it.

 

tl-dr; Take notice of the reasons you bury yourself in passive activities. Everyone does this once in a while, but it's usually for work/school/relationship stress. If you do it because of a N that you live with, become aware you might be postponing minor/medium life changes because they would require a conversation where you'd be insulted repeatedly. Realize that fear of emotional pain is what is holding you back, and don't let other people try to help you with cookie-cutter advice.

Submitted June 08, 2016 at 10:33AM by clon3man http://ift.tt/25Lgu3m raisedbynarcissists