Hello, first time posting here.
Also, sorry for the long wall of text if you are willing to read through all of it (or go straight to the tldr to get a gist of the situation).
To note, I am definitely not experienced or knowledgeable about many things that are going on, such as housing, and laws; pretty much going in blind to resolve my family's problem along with my sister. Thus, just recently, I began doing research on how to finally kick my Aunt out of the house, or at least legally. Also, the locations I will be talking about are in California. Also, when I say family, it will be my dad, mom, sister and I.
One more thing, there is a lot, A LOT, of stuff to rant about but the situation with my family and aunt, but hopefully, the wall of text can somewhat sum up what is going on in the family along with the list at the end.
I have an aunt (I'll call her Lilly) who randomly appeared on September 15th of last year at my family's house (where I live), in San Jose. My dad, the older brother of Lilly, decided to let her in and allowed her to live with us, despite having never seen Lilly for about 30 years. Lilly told us that she used to live in Alameda County (basically, she bounced city to cities, such as Hayward, Oakland, and Stockton), and wanted to find a better place so she came to San Jose (which I do not know exactly why she just assumed San Jose is immediately better than her current living conditions in Alameda County).
Lilly has been through many places: shared rooms, care homes, nursing homes (I think that what she tried to get into, not sure completely), and some more. Lilly also had lived with one of my dad's siblings, (let me name her Rebecca), for five years in Stockton (or whatever place in Alameda County), and my mom's sister (let me name her Sarah), who is also a nun, had shared rooms with Lilly for about 2-3 years? Not entirely sure. Lilly also had told us that she did not like living in Alameda County because the area was too dangerous for her and that she simply did not like living with Rebecca and Sarah lol.
Going back to the time when Lilly came to our house, by around October and November, not sure we had to, but since she was living with us, my sister took the liberty to go change some stuff about social security from Alameda County to Santa Clara County (since she is going to live in San Jose and San Jose is part of Santa Clara County). Also, had to change the payee (or whatever is called) from Lilly's previous one to either my dad or my sister (my sister decided to become her payee).
However, IIRC, there was a time where we were going the social security office and during the car ride, Lilly started to talk a lot of smack about my parents such as stealing money; this is because she gave my dad five grand to pay the house I am living in, but my dad explained that he gave the money to one of the siblings (but she still exclaims that we stole her money and stuff which got soooooo annoying).Lilly also called my parents something in the lines of "upside-down," I assume this means twisted in her vocabulary. I also came in to tell her to relax and stuff, but she exclaimed that she wanted respect from me since I spoke up, but I obviously disobeyed her since she talked shit about my parents. For then on, I realize something was wrong with her since she called the police three times for the utmost stupid reasons and lies (good thing the police understands our situation). During the second time when she called the police (very recently like two days ago), the police told us that APS or Adult Protective Services, would come yesterday and assist us with the situation, but no one came. Thus, I called today in the morning to see what is up, and they told me that they received police report from two days ago and would assign me to a social security worker. Then, about couple hours later, I hear my aunt calling the police AGAIN (this would be the third time). However, the police caught on her lies quickly and quickly left (since policemen do not handle with family issues unless it involves something serious violence or what not).
The social worker called me back and asked me questions about Lilly, and my sister and I spoke about the dynamics of the family situation. My sister and I told the social worker that my family wants Lilly to leave; even she wanted to leave herself! We also told the social worker that she has post-polio syndrome, seizures and club foot. The social worker told us some places that she can be housed in and people to talk to (pretty much just got more information). However, the social worker stated that an investigator will come and visit in up to ten days, and for now, we will have to bear with her ramblings or send her to a shelter since she wanted to immediately leave. We then tried to cooperate with Lilly about the housing situation, asking her what she wants and what not. Lilly wanted to stay somewhere in San Jose, and preferably someone to take care of her (which in-house services can for her) or a nursing home. Assistance given by the rentals were already above her income (about 890$ a month due to SSI), and nursing homes required the consent from a hospital (which was I believe was denied before since she was not on the verge of death, cancer, or anything related to those things). Pretty much, we contacted the people the social worker recommended us and got a list of possible housing for Lilly based on her health (she is deemed as disabled) and income, and went to work by calling the best possible housings for her. In the end, we found a studio housing place for her to rent (but did not have time to finish the application and turn it in since we found the place when we were actually visiting the possible housing for her), had her go to a homeless shelter for now (since she wanted to leave immediately), and I am here typing this post. This is a list that was not included in the wall of text but generally what was happening in the family for the past 6 months. If you think this story has a loophole or something missing, I will reply asap.
-My sister and I worked hard to solve this problem, my mom and dad do not speak a lot of English so my sister and I did most of the talking (when the police came and social workers). -The first police visit was because she wanted to wander off after an argument we had, and Lilly found someone to call 911 to take her back to our place.
-During the second police visit, Lilly lies about us locking her out the house; this is because before the police came, my dad took Lilly to the hospital for an appointment to see if the hospital can give her consent to go to a nursing home. From what I know from my dad, my dad said when the doctor told Lilly the nursing homes are full and are for people who reallllllllllllllllly need help, she called the doctor or whoever stupid and causes my dad to argue with her, and then she wanted to be with herself outside, which ends up causing the same chain reaction as the first police visit. So, the policemen stay much longer this time to interview everyone and such. In the end, no one is in trouble, and I generally believe that the policemen were on our side. However, I wish that I found out sooner, but I wish that I told the policemen that she had schizoaffective disorder since I think would actually do something??
-Oh, during the second police visit, she lies that we treated her unfairly (we have a room but told her that she cannot use it because it is for storage and was previously Sarah's room), so Lilly sleeps in the living room, and told the police that we do not let her use the shower, not feed her, and such. HOWEVER, we do not let her use the shower only when we are home because IIRC, we post notes on the door to the shower room that Lilly can only use it when one of us is at home or had asked us permission. Those three times, she took off the note and showered anyway. Also, Lilly eats stuff from our refrigerator and we even ask her if she wants to eat, and frequently she responds that she does not want to get fat, dieting, not good to eat at night, or something among those phrases. In general, there were a lot of times she did not listen and I can properly list all of them if needed.
-During Lilly's 6 month stay, we see a huge increase in electricity and water bills (e.g. one of our 2014 electricity bill was only 40$, but on November 2015, it rose to 200$!).
-Because Lilly is a temporary tenant, she pays 700$ rent, but from what I know from my mom, my mom even asked her to not give her money, but Lilly obliged to give her rent money. My mom also notes that even with the rent money, it is not enough to support her (making us spend money as well). Around March 2016, my mom decided to not take her money, but only take some money to pay for the gas when my sister drives her around. I believe it is good to not take money from then since we want her to leave.
-The APS social worker suggested to have her live with someone else that she knows, but no one even wants her because she is very problematic (my dad contacted all his other siblings and none of them wanted her).
-SUPER hard to find available housing in San Jose, plus the fact that she is not considered a senior (when you are older than 55 or 65, depends on housing).
-She called the paramedics one time, even though we told her to wait, and that my parents would drive her after they got gas. But, I guess she could not wait another 15 minutes so she called them and said that she had a hard time breathing and was in pain, despite talking completely fine and walking as if she was okay when the paramedics came.
-Just yesterday, my sister, cousin (12 years old), and I experience something very NSFW. When my sister and I were arguing to her about how my family is a "fuckship" (another word she says to describe us, I assume like a combination of fucking idiots? Idk), she pulled down her pants in front my sister, cousin and I. Oh man, she did it twice, and also opened the front door and started yelling nonsense. -We finally found out that she also was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder when we looked through her papers today. This then got me curious. Would the police and hospital situation change if we told them that she had a mental issue, schizoaffective disorder? Someone help with this. -Knowing that she has a schizoaffective disorder does not change the way I perceive her, even my family members. Knowing that she caused this much shit in my family already gives me enough reason to detest her.
tl;dr: Dad's sister, Lilly, appears randomly in my family's front door. Dad allows her in and lives with us as a temporary tenant (deemed by the social worker when my sister and Lilly visited them in San Jose). My family and I regret allowing Lilly to live with us and we want her to leave, even Lilly wants herself to leave. My sister and I found studio housing good enough for her to live in, just need to fill the papers and turn it in next Monday. Also, my sister and I found her a shelter for her to live in since she wanted to leave immediately. My family now waits until she moves to the housing we found her so we never see her again (since we can just kick her out if she ever comes to our front door again). Now, I am here requesting for help if I did something wrong, or my family. WE JUST WANT LILLY TO LEAVE.
Submitted April 02, 2016 at 11:36AM by wicked1977 http://ift.tt/1RDxnkC relationships
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