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GAME DAY: Monday 1/13/2016
Scotiabank Saddledome - Calgary, AB, CAN
Panthers (26-12-5) @ Calgary Flames (19-19-2) 7:30PM COW-TIME
Projected Lineups
PANTHERS
Your starting line up, a guy who found out the hard way that a Sheepshank was a knot, a man who collected all the badges in Boy Scouts and a 3rd who got kicked out of Scouts for eating a Brownie: Jonathan Huberdeau, Aleksander Barkov and JAAAARRRRRRROOOOMIIIIRRRRRRR JAAAAAGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Coming in on the Silver line, the Thong Song was actually about this man’s mother, his line mate routinely plays it during the holidays to let everyone know what he’s wearing to dinner and another who only just now realized that the “Horizontal Mambo” was not an actual dance: Logan Shaw, Nick Bjugstad and BBBBBRRRRRAAANNNNNNNDOOONNNNN PIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIII
3rd up, you’ve got a winger who suggested the vuvuzela as the official instrument of the South African world cup as a joke, a guy who can really understand the Vine craze, because like they’re the thing that Tarzan swings on, he can’t possibly use a phone while he swings. That’s just preposterous. And a man who still refers to his manhood in the 3rd person: Reilly Smith, Vincent Trochek and JUUUUSSSSSIIIIIIII JOKINNNNNNNEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Breaking the bottom line like the SAT test scores in Alabama, you’ve got a guy who loves Samosas, a guy who hilarious asked for S’mores instead this one time in Bangladesh and a winger who is more of a drumstick kinda guy: Shawn Thorton, Derek Mackenzie and QUINNNNNNNNTTTOOOONNNNN HOOOOOOOOWWWWDDDDDEEEENNNNNNN
DEFENSE
The top D, they habitually talk to each other like 80’s buddy cop partners while they’re in public but on the ice only communicate by looks that would cause gall bladder cancer in lesser men: Erik Gudbranson and BRRRIIIIAAAAANNNNNN CCCCAAAAAMMMMPPPPPBBBBBBBBBBBEELLLLLL
One of these two D-Men still has his Mini-Disc player from the early 2000’s and the other has the oral capacity of exactly 63 shelled peanuts: Steve Kampfer and SMIIIIITTTTTRRRRYYYYY KUUUUUULLLLLIIIIKKKOOOOVVVVVVVVVVV
This man is easily startled by rodents and the other went through a phase where he would only eat things with chopsticks, including pudding and soup: Alex Petrovic and WILLLLLLIEEEEEEE MMMIIIITTTTTTCHHHHEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL
NET
He gets Princess Bride references on the daily, and the other actively pays people to use them: Al Montoya and your starting goalie RRRRROOOOOBBBBBEEEEEERRRRTOOOOOO LUUUUUOOOOOONNNNNGGGOOOOOO
FLAMES
He likes to express himself the only way he knows how, with dirtiest dangles this side of a senior’s re-enactment of Showgirls. This man skates so hard, when he stops the amount of snow left over would make Pablo Escobar salivate. And their line mate causes as much damage as the Medellín Cartel in their heyday: Johnny Gaudreau, Sean Monahan and MIIIICCCHHHHEEEEAAAALLLLL FEEEERRRRRRLLLLAAAANNNNDDDDDD
This Left Winger’s Father is actually time, his center man was born from a long line of biathlon mid-placing participants and the last guys’ favourite Pokémon is Jigglypuff: Sam Bennett, Mikael Backlund and JJJIIIIRRRRRIIIIII HUUUUUUDDDDLLLLEEEERRRRRRRRRRR
A guy who could double as a villain in a Barbie cartoon, with his line mate at center is always way too excited about getting ice cream and a man who was shocked to learn that the 80’s Arnold film “Commando” wasn’t a documentary about his nether-region lifestyle choices: Mason Raymond, Markus Granlund and DAAAAVVVIIIIIIIDDDDD JJJJJOOOONNNNEEEEESSSS
This man is so proficient at Netflix and Chill he has a red refrigerator next to his bed, his line mate tried Tinder once but it matched him with a Fist and lastly a man looks like a third wheel: Josh Jooris, Brandon Bollig and MAAAAATTTTTTTT SSSSSTTTTAAAAAJJJJJJJAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN
DEFENSE
A man who sometimes forgets that “Fuck Tha Police” is only a song and his line mate who secretly wants to audition for America’s Next Top Beard Model: TJ Brodie and MMMMMMMAAAAAARRRRRKKKKKK GGGGIIIIOOOOORRRRRDDDAAANNNNNOOOOOOO
A man who knows all too well the power of the Dark Side and their delicious cookies, and a man who understands the importance of ensuring your jock strap is on correctly: Dougie Hamilton and KKKKKKRRRRRRRIIIIIISSSSSS RRRRRUUUUUSSSSSSSSSEEELLLLLLLL
This guy knows how to do stuff and when he does, boy does it make Grapes excited and with him a guy that can do stuff every so often, but not enough to be a top line D-Man: Deryk Engelland and DDDDEEEEENNNNNNNNIIIIIISSSSSS WWWWWIIIIDDDDDEEEEEMMMMAAAAANNNNN
NET
Even the wind takes a break sometime and it’s time for him to get his, Kari Ramo and a man who doesn’t know the meaning of the word consistent, your starting goalie tonight, JJJJOOOOONNNNAAAASSSSS HHHHIIIIIILLLLLLLLLEEEEERRRRRR
DRINKING GAME
Flames:
Every Hit from Flames– 1 drink
Every Goal for Flames– 2 drinks
Every Bennett goal – 5 drinks
Panthers:
Every Hit from Panthers – 1 drink
Every Goal for Panthers – 2 drinks
Panther mentions our Organist - 2 drinks
MADNESS MODE
Every Save = 1 drink
Live Game Stats
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FLAMES - () – KITTIES - ()
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Submitted January 14, 2016 at 06:35AM by Daft_Funk87 http://ift.tt/1Keb01v hockey
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