Vacation. nosleep

Found in a La Quinta hotel Bible:

Day 1: I hope the Gideons don't mind me writing on these blank pages of their Bible, but fuck it, why would they? I'm snowed in and have nothing better to do, such fucking BULLSHIT! I can't fucking believe this, I'm going to miss my snowboarding, going to miss my friends, going to miss all the food, all because of some freak blizzard that added 48 inches of snow on top of the 1 to 2 feet already here.. Now I'm stuck at this shit hotel that doesn't even have room service, only a "continental breakfast" that consists of plastic-wrapped croissants, if they can be called that, and stale coffee. The "News" which failed to predict this blizzard has already predicted another 8 inches overnight, so at this point I'll be happy if I have fucking cable tomorrow. You have to try to be positive during times like these.

Day 2: I'm sorry for being bitter yesterday, but what the fuck? People don't even come out of their rooms here, and the desk clerks are not happy at all, somewhat frantic. The manager down there smells like shit, and his pits were drenched with nervous sweat and what looked like sedimentary layers around the sweat stains. He yelled at me to stay in my room, even though I have nothing to eat. So, I yelled back at him and told him to "Go fuck yourself!" and gave him the finger and ventured into their "kitchen", which wasn't a kitchen, just a room with a round table and a few chairs, a soda machine, and 2 walk-in refrigerators. I grabbed four boxes of those shitty near-donuts and opened them up, disposing on the ground of everything but the cheese flavored and put them into one case. I used the other two cases to hold four 64oz cartons of orange juice, 2 per peice of cardboard. Thank God the vodka was right there for the taking, I lined up the cardboard trays holding the 2 containers of OJ with vodka, I got about 15-20 shots worth and brought it all up to my room. I have cheese croissants and screwdrivers up the ass, the staff doesn't even know I was in there because they're frantic being controlled by that smelly trainwreck, at this point I'm thinking I'm set for days, making the best of a shit situation.

Day 3: All of the sudden I'm very popular here in my hotel room, there are at least 30 people waiting outside my room door. They all seem hungry, and I think it's because I stole all these croissants. It's been a few days since this started, so I don't blame them, and I need to share with them. Worst case scenario is I open the door and we can all go down to the lobby and demand more food. There's strength in numbers.

Submitted July 18, 2015 at 02:22PM by Friday_The_13th http://ift.tt/1Lt60tb nosleep