My ndad once flew into a rage because I had eaten a box of leftovers. Now there were more leftovers from the same restaurant in the refrigerator but I had eaten the food he wanted. But he never told me or anyone he wanted it. So he comes into the kitchen, asks who ate the last box of that particular food item and I say I did. He starts screaming how I'm spoiled and so selfish for not thinking that maybe someone else in the family might want some. How I couldn't think to save any for anybody else. By this time he's red in the face, standing inches away from my face, hovering over me, 300 pounds to my 80. I'm sure he's going to slap me in the face like he did when I was younger. He had a weeklong kick where his favorite phrase was 'do you want me to hit you?'. He's asking why I'm so selfish and expecting an answer and gets mad when I don't have one. I have to say I only think for myself or he won't leave me alone. I tell e-mom hoping she'll straighten him out. Nope. 'I'll talk to him' is what I get. She's the one who always tells the kids we must share food with family and if there's one thing you should never be stingy with is food. Never get an apology or acknowledgement that it ever occured again.
He also had an obsession with cleaning. My cleaning, that is. He would text me 20 minutes after he left for work (while driving?) telling me what needed to be cleaned. At 5 am. Then he would remind me at work, you need to clean 'this' when you get home. It was worse during childhood when trapped in the house. Then when I stayed up too late cleaning it would be , why are you up so late get to bed now! I asked my mom why he does it and she said because he wants me to take it upon myself to clean when I see things are dirty and maybe if I woke up earlier, because I know he'll ask me to clean everything and expect it done when he 'gets home from work' (his favorite phrase), that he would stop talking about it. I knew then that she only enabled his behavior. Instead of saying that it's wrong to treat your child like a housemaid, she makes it easier for him by trying to make me responsible for his happiness and well being. My needs are nonexistent.
Fast forward to just a few days ago, mother's day, my mom and I were arguing about a hateful text my dad sent to me (that'll be another post in itself) and she brought up the fact that I don't want to be a part of the family. I don't care about the family because I'm out at friend's houses alot. Here's some backstory. The day before, she told me that she was bringing her mom to a restaurant by our house and asked me if I wanted to go. I asked what time they were going and said no when I found out it was before noon because dad said I had to clean the whole house before I went anywhere and I definitely wouldn't have it done by then. So she brings her mom to the house, wakes me up, and tells me to tell granny happy mother's day then gets pissed that I don't want to go to the restaurant that I told her yesterday I wasn't going to. Tells my sibling she's pissed about it. During our argument she says that she believes in RESPECT and that she believes you need to greet someone when they come into your house. Which is why she woke me up. I asked her how the hell was I supposed to know that she was bringing granny to the house? She'd only told me she was going to the restaurant. Then she said she was sure she'd mentioned bringing her over in the text, even though she didn't.
Long story short: I should mindread and 'just know' my dad wants a specific food so I shouldn't eat it, I should know to clean everything before he will tell me to, and I should know that people are coming by without being told and wake myself up to greet them.
Submitted May 15, 2015 at 07:07PM by loveworthdyingfor http://ift.tt/1PnItOq raisedbynarcissists
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