Does anybody have a clue what kind of disease i have? indonesia

Hey komodos,

a long time lurker here, needs help to crack a mystery i have for my entire life. already telling this to many friends, a few doctors, and one neurologist (when i have yet another mystery disease), and i still don't get a single fucking clue.

for as long as i can remember, sometimes i have a kind of attack, with a short durations (no more than 5 minutes). with random frequency (like... get it three times a week, and then no attack for six months). mostly when i'm alone, but i think it's pretty random too, i'm not really sure.

the attack:

stage 1. my limbs suddenly feel slimmer, and then i want to move every part of my body. moving my mouth, flexing my hands, scratching my feet, anything. anything feels great. a pure bliss. always love this part :)

stage 1.5 moving body parts became a compulsion. got annoyed, yet too hard to stop.

stage 2. the scary part happened.

ngerti gak sih seberapa gak enaknya ngedengerin orang marah? not directed at you, just hearing someone angry and screaming at someone else. all those flowing emotions get into your skin? now imagine, every single voice you heard, every single move you make, has that emotion.

let's not talk about all those vehicles running outside my house, i already got uncomfortable enough by every step i make when i walk.

this one time, after trying to turn off every electrical devices in the house, i still can't find the source of this loud angry noise, so i just crawled in the corner of my room, until the attack gone. it turns out, the noise came from my refrigerator. that gentle little noise every refrigerator make.

the worst attack though, when i actually got frightened listening my own breath. the longest minute of my life.

i'm 34 years old now, with my childhood memory getting this attack, i think it's pretty save i have this for 30 years already. some of my friends telling me the one that i need is psychiatrist, not any other kind of doctor. but then, they are pretty expensive, right? and i think i will never capable to talk all of my dark secret anyway :). isn't that will kinda hinder their diagnosis? sigh

so... anybody has a clue?

Submitted April 15, 2015 at 01:19PM by sabcpj http://ift.tt/1E1kHSW indonesia