Oh look, a birthday card from my mother-in-law… five weeks late. Thanks, bitch.
I set the card in a stack of old documents I’d brought home from the office to toss in the paper shredder. The card was for my three year-old son. He certainly hadn’t noticed or cared about its absence. Neither had I, frankly. Can’t wait till that hag goes back to hell.
I flipped through the other documents to make sure I wasn’t shredding anything important. There were a few bills which had long since been paid off, a cake recipe I’d found online, and junk mail. Nothing important. I fed it all to the shredder. You know, if everyone in the world shredded their papers for new recycling methods, we could probably –
My train of thought was interrupted by a disturbing splat from inside the refrigerator. I opened it to see if something had fallen over, and indeed the cake I’d been keeping in there had fallen apart… spectacularly. Chocolate icing was smeared everywhere.
As I grabbed a huge mass of paper towels to start cleaning, I felt something shift inside my pockets. My wallet?
All the paper money and plastic cards in my wallet had spontaneously torn themselves to pieces.
An earsplitting scream erupted from my son’s room as I turned my eyes back to the shredder, which was currently spitting his destroyed birthday card on top of the remnants of the cake recipe and my old bills.
I sprinted to my son’s door –
Only to find him perfectly fine, laughing hysterically at a TV show.
So if shredding my mother-in-law’s card didn’t get him, it must have gotten… hahahahaha!
Submitted March 25, 2015 at 10:21AM by JMAJS http://ift.tt/1HAXxQp shortscarystories
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