First of all, if anyone has clicked this, thanks. I don't really post much on here and kind of awkward with a matter so close to me, but seeing a post by mattygo93 has given me the courage to be open with people about this (You can see his post at http://ift.tt/1BYnnhK)
So anyway, my name's Thomas, and for the majority of my life, I've been morbidly obese. I can't exactly pinpoint when it all truly began, but I can remember dreading P.E. in what we call Year 2, so that's around 6 years old. Anyway, at first the weight gain was pretty slow, gradual stuff, but as my weight increased, it went up rapidly. By the time I'd left primary school at the age of 12, I was by far the heaviest in my class, and that fact includes the teacher and her assistant. And as you can imagine, that lead to being bullied. I buried my head in books, and tried to stay out of kid's way as much as I could (a task easier said than done when you're that big).
Anyway, September 2006, I start Secondary school, a fresh start. Little did I know how bad it would become then. I thought that as kids got older, they'd be more accepting, but alas it was just crueler. I think what really got me then, was that teacher's weren't afraid to make the snide, asinine remark. I distinctly recall a Maths teacher, who said that if he threw me out of the window, I'd make a bigger splat than anyone else in the school. I like to think he said it purely to have a joke with the class, but these things still sting. Once again then, I looked to my keyword; survive. If I could survive another day, then I could get home, where my family wouldn't judge me. I'm blessed to come from an amazing family; with an absolute machine of a dad constantly trying to provide for us, matched by a mother who tirelessly and selflessly caters to me, my 2 older brothers and anyone else who crosses her path. But I digress.
At home, I guess that's where I felt protected, though in retrospect, it was where I was most vulnerable. Being bullied, it makes you aware of things. I couldn't enjoy being at school, or being with friends. But one thing I could still enjoy was food. The experience made me so aware of food, and the great comfort it brings. Pastas, Meat, Ice-Cream, Dessert, be still my beating heart! And that's perhaps why it was bad for me at home, with mere feet between me and a constantly stocked refrigerator. I've never intended to make excuses, I know why I gained weight, and who's fault it was, but as I reflect back, I sometimes wonder what would have been different if the amount or type of food we kept stocked was different. Guess its all irrelevant now.
Anyway, I carry on, surviving for 5 years of Secondary school. I'd been beaten up, black-eyed and bullied more times than I care to count, but I'd made it to the end. And now, I was given some options. To carry on and do 'sixth form' so that I could go to University, to go to a college to get the necessary qualifications for University or to go get a job. I'm a big believer in the power of education and enlightenment, so University has always been on my mind. So naturally I went to college right? Unfortunately, no. My two older brothers who I mentioned earlier, they had both done sixth form, and it was what I knew. The clincher was when they said how each student would be shown respect. I was dumb, and foolish, and made one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made.
But, I learn from my mistakes. I stayed for a year, but ultimately knew, this wasn't for me. I couldn't take it anymore, the snide remarks had gotten worse, and now I was a 17 year old, which allegedly made me mature enough according to the school to just accept it and 'get over it'. Funny how that works. I wonder what the age barrier is exactly, for people (specifically men) to not be allowed to be in touch with their emotions. Anyway, I left after a year, and took a really dark turn in my life. But nothing's permanent in life, and in the end, I looked to the future. I still wanted to go to University, so college was my new plan. I enrolled at my local college and began in September 2012, hoping that I'd finally have a fresh start I needed.
And sure enough, it was. After a month at college, I'd made more friends than the 6 years at secondary school. Whilst I had done well academically at school, it was nothing compared to how I performed at college. After the first term at college, my former life at school was a mere memory, it still haunted (and even now sometimes haunts) me, but I've learned to cope with it. But my weight hadn't changed much, it was still going up, I guess old habits are hard to break.
But in January 2013, that all changed. I can remember it distinctly. I had sneaked a sandwich (a big one I might add) upstairs and devoured it, a frightening norm for me at the time, and I wasn't done. Sneaking down to get something else, I couldn't help but overhear my mum and dad, who rarely argue, had raised voices to say the least. I didn't really follow what they said, till my dad said something that if I live to be 100, I won't forget.
"Jayne, if he carries on like this, he won't see 40".
Just like that, my world shattered. My dad was right y'see, that was the worst part. He was telling the truth. Simply put, if I was to continue like that, 40 was out of the question, hell, 35 was in serious doubt. Imagine that for a second, being 17 years old, and having essentially a mid-life crisis. I'd made the biggest leap of faith by switching to college, but with what my dad said, I knew the truth. Nothing at college meant a damn if I wasn't going to make the same effort with my weight. So I sat down, had a bit of a weep (yes secondary school, men can cry too) and laid out the plan. A plan that would simply change my life.
After talking with my family, fueled by a fire, an intent I had never displayed before, we made a plan. A bit of research led us to a service on the National Health Service called Weigh Ahead. Ten weekly sessions with a medical professional, who would give me encouragement and guidance (as well as an objective perspective) about how to improve my weight and lifestyle. Looking back, I should've been apprehensions, even terrified at the time, but back then, I had this drive to succeed. After so long, I was doing something, not saying something, or making excuses, but doing something. Within the first ten weeks with Weigh Ahead, I lost 28lbs/12.7kg. After another ten weeks, I had lost 70lbs/32kgs. I would've died a happy man, if I was to go at that time, but now that I was 70lbs lighter, the talks of me not making it to 40 were becoming less and less realistic.
Not to say it was easy, far from it in fact. But that's the thing about life. Life isn't easy. I had to develop immense will-power and naturally I had days when I slipped. A bad day, a rotten week could knock me back, but we can't the hard times in life keep us down. The further we're knocked down, the more room we have to rise. In October 2013, I hit my target of 196lbs/89kgs, and still couldn't fathom it. I had done what a year ago would've been impossible. Not only had I beaten my secondary school, but I had beaten morbid obesity. I now get to wake up, knowing that I have so much more of life to live, and despite what I said earlier about life being scary, I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything in the world. And even now, I still have my treats, though are able to enjoy them more in moderation (Ice-Cream is a particular weakness of mine).
And if you've made it here reader, props, wrote way more than I thought, but I'm like this when I get going. Since I finished losing the weight, I finished college, top of my class, and even appeared on TV to talk about my weight loss (they gave me a makeover!) I went to University, though moving away from home wasn't for me, so I withdrew, and just been accepted for studying Journalism at my local University. I write all this simply to let people know, that there's nothing a strong will can overcome. No matter how hard life seems, it doesn't mean that life won't get better. Don't expect things to get better though, be the change you want.
Take care, and get motivated.
-Thomas.
P.S. Here's some photos of mine, to see the transformation
http://ift.tt/1AbqkXu (Meeting Wrestling Legend Mick Foley. As a Wrestling fan, it should've been a great picture, though, y'know. February 2012)
http://ift.tt/1wlKW2W (With my eldest brother as the Olympic Torch passed through our village. Wasn't even at my heaviest at this point. July 2012)
http://ift.tt/1Abqi1R (After losing about 35lbs, and loving it. May 2013)
http://ift.tt/1wlKW2Y (100lbs down, and looking pretty suave if I say so myself. This was a new suit, that I had to get specifically for a cousin's wedding. First of many instances of buying new clothes. August 2013)
http://ift.tt/1Abqi1T (Chilling with Lara Croft at Sheffield Comic-Con. No longer do I worry about being photographed. August 2014)
http://ift.tt/1wlKW32 (Left, me in April 2012, not even at my heaviest. Right, me appearing on National TV, August 2014
http://ift.tt/1AbqkXB (After winning 'Most Improved Student of the Year' by the local paper. Pictured with the runner up, nice guy, gracious in defeat. September 2014)
Submitted March 10, 2015 at 01:36AM by tlowson1 http://ift.tt/196bYBk GetMotivated
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