Not finished. Id like some feedback on grammar, puncuation, etc.
It’s 2:30 in the morning in San Francisco’s mission district and Ralph is saying his goodbyes to some friends at the local bar where he has spent the majority of his night. He makes his way home while the sound of His wood sole shoes thump and echo and the jingle of his keys permeate the quiet city streets. The insatiable hunger that many experience after a long night of drinking, has ralph fantasizing about the contents of his fridge, specifically the half eaten lasagna sitting on the top shelf. Right now, Ralphs number one priority, is the consumption of that lasagna. Absolutely nothing can get in between him and the layered italian masterpiece sitting in the tupperware in his fridge. As he nears his apartment, he unhooks his keys from the clip on his belt loop, and sifts through the multitude of little metal things that open doors until he finds the right one. His inebriated state has him questioning why he has so many god damned keys and why they all look so similar. Finally, he stumbles around the last corner and arrives at his apartment, he can almost smell the lasagna. As he goes to unlock his door, he finds that it is already open. Confused, ralph slowly pushes open the door, wondering if he had somehow forgotten to close it. His current state allows him to disregard this potential catastrophe, so he shrugs his shoulders, closes the door and walks up the stairs to the living space. He reaches the top of the stairs, and looks around in disbelief. Suddenly, the weight of his keys become too heavy to bear, so he hands them over to gravity, and they come crashing down to the floor. Ralph has been robbed. After a few seconds of utter shock, he relieves the contents of his stomach on the floor where his coffee table used to be. An eerie feeling of emptiness and unfamiliarity takes hold of ralph. He does not recognize the place he is in. All of the things that once made this place his home, are gone. As he walks around the shell that was once his home to look for anything they may have left, the creaking of the wooden floor panels and the echo of his thumping shoes do not sound quite the same. There are no carpets or furniture to muddle the noise. Ralph makes his way to the kitchen and sits down on the window sill where he usually has his morning coffee. By now, the shock has passed, all that is left is despair. He looks around, then closes his eyes in a halfhearted attempt to wake up from this terrible dream. For a few minutes, ralph remains perched on the windowsill in silence with his eyes closed. All of a sudden, ralph is snapped out of his gloomy trance by the droning of the refrigerator in the corner. He remembers how hungry he is. Thinking that whoever robbed him would have the decency to leave him the contents of his fridge, he rejoices at the thought of at least being able to have a decent meal. Ralph stands up and walks over to the fridge. As he opens it and looks inside, the hope he has for a good meal is instantly gone. The lasagna he was so desperately yearning for is nowhere to be found. All that remains in his fridge, is a half empty jar of peanut butter and two butt ends of a loaf of bread. Ralph explodes in fit of anger and utter disbelief. Being too late to order take out, he angrily grabs the bread and butter, and sets it on the counter. Along with everything else in his home, the silverware has been kidnapped by those thieving bastards. He looks around for something to spread his peanut butter, all he can come up with, is the magnet pen stuck to the top of his freezer. Jar and pen in hand, Ralph takes good long look at these items, then at the surrounding empty rooms, and realizes that they are the last of his possessions.
Submitted March 19, 2015 at 08:02AM by FuckingMagik http://ift.tt/1FCMCqY Proofreading
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