Hi there, this got longer than I expected it to when I first started. Sorry about that.
Backstory
First off, I am a 21 year old, employed college student. My social security card and birth certificate are under my possession, my car is titled in my name, and all of my bills are under my name.
I had always had in the back of my mind that something was wrong with my parents, but I didn't really know what it was until I met my girlfriend about 4.5 years ago and by meeting her family I learned that my family was not normal. My parents have allowed me to live with them through college, and originally I planned to tough it out, but I'm not sure I could make it until I graduate at this point.
Three weeks ago we had an event that began with my 19 year old brother maybe, but he really doesn't know, bumping my dad's tablet on the bookshelf an inch and ended with my brother being temporarily thrown out of the house after I stopped my dad from throwing his drinking glass in my brother's face. My brother eventually came home after my dad yelled at my mom, who was in tears, to call him to come back.
Also, last night, my 14 year old brother with Asperger syndrome was trying to stand up for himself about a completely new and arbitrary rule that he had apparently violated, though my dad had never informed him of the rule before. I stood up for my brother and my dad flew into full ragemode against me, telling me how dare I question his parenting, etc. Slightly surprising to me, my mom defended my dad. Fortunately, my brother was able to leave the situation once my dad turned to me.
Even Older Backstory
Because of these two events, some repressed memories have been surfacing:
- If we pointed anything out to my parents that they had stated incorrectly, such as saying a date or a time incorrectly, my dad would get red in the face, screaming "Are you calling me/your mom a liar?!"
- We would be regularly threatened about being placed into foster care.
- One time, my dad claimed to have gone to the police station to tell the police about how bad we were as children and came back with a piece of paper and told us that that piece of paper allowed him to have the cops come and take us away at any time that he wanted if we upset him.
- My parents hung the spanking paddle prominently in the house as a reminder to not upset them.
- My brother is going to culinary school, so he practices at home. My father will sometimes throw all of my brother's food out of the secondary refrigerator onto the floor and make him clean up the mess. He doesn't give a reason for why he does this.
- Very obvious gaslighting. Recently, my two sisters saw him bring a pie from the downstairs freezer to the upstairs freezer. The next day he was asking "Who moved the pie?" When my two sisters replied that they saw him move it, he denied it and got very irritated.
- Kicking me or my brother out, then as we are leaving the door we'll be asked where we're going and yelled at for trying to leave.
At church, people would always comment on how well behaved we were as kids. I wonder why.
Now that I've typed all this out it doesn't seem that serious anymore.
Current Situation
With all these memories coming back, I want out. I have a steady job and I can afford to. However, I'm concerned about what will happen to my siblings if I leave. It's clear that my siblings recognize that something is wrong, at least. My dad also enjoys terrorizing the pets in the house. He actually smiles while yelling at them. I've asked about taking my cat that has slept with me in my bed every night for the last 7 years with me "when I move out," but I was told that I can't. So I'd have to leave her behind too and I wouldn't be able to protect her anymore.
What can I do to protect my siblings and pets if I leave?
Thanks
Submitted February 23, 2015 at 04:50AM by MoveOut-ThrowAway http://ift.tt/1zZibUB raisedbynarcissists
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