Note: I suck at formatting. And it's long. Reeeaaal damn long. I am choosing to post this from my main account because, honestly, I'm not about to be shamed into posting from an alt. I fought with that choice for awhile; anyone who has actually gone through terrible things in their life will understand how difficult it is to be honest with yourself and especially the outside world about those things and the effects they've had on you; I would've honestly preferred to create an alt.
But, you know what? Robin Williams hung himself last year. Also last year, Phillip Seymour Hoffman died of an overdose after an extensive battle with depression and substance abuse. Most of us have also probably heard the "22 suicides a day" statistic being tossed around regarding veterans. And after more mass shootings than any other country in the world, the US is finally starting to bring mental health awareness into the forefront of discussions...so that's why I decided to post from my actual account. I'm hoping that my decision might inspire others feeling confused or self conscious about the rule change to be vocal about how they feel in life, a precedent for owning your problem as part of conquering it. There deserves to be an alternate perspective to this conversation.
Anyways, I originally started composing this a couple days ago after this post about "sad" posts being upvoted to the front was, ironically, upvoted to the front. After a day or two, I chilled out, and just closed my tab without posting; I was convinced that it was just an anomaly, that no one group of people who are all here in order to talk about the same thing (i.e., Destiny) could fault one of their own for posting about something trying that they're going through, right? The sub thrives on a sense of community and levity, with in-jokes from mods and posters alike, and with players bonding over being dads, or casual, or colorblind-- surely, the one heavily upvoted post I saw was just the vocal minority, having their say.
Well, turns out I was very goddamn wrong about that. From the new rules post, based on user feedback in this sub, the rules say that the mods will:
Remove Personal anecdotes and sad stories
The post then bothers to detail that the other things listed, specifically the one about downvotes, is "tough". The post does not go on to list whether or not there is any such difficulty in weeding out these "sad" stories, what the moral quandary of deleting a message composed by a fellow human being in pain is like from the perspective of a mod in a video game forum. What they do say about that rule in the post is:
We do plan to crack down on low quality posts with misleading titles as well as start removing personal anecdotes and sad stories. Check out our explanation on what a low effort/quality post is. We will be focusing more on removing these types of posts going forward.
Okay, rad. If you're wondering, this is what the "explanation" on the low effort/quailty post entails:
- Low Effort/Low Quality Posts
Low Effort, Low Quality posts, Sob Stories, Personal Stories not related to Destiny, and recent reposts will be removed.
This includes, but is not limited to:
Short jokes and/or anecdotes (discretionary) YouTube Videos without any added description Pictures of gaming set ups, consoles, boxes, etc. No clickbait, misleading, open-ended, or vague titles. This should be obvious. Your title should act as a preview of your post. Do not make a title that does not describe the contents of your post.
Sooo, at this point, if you're like ".....and?", there's probably a 50% shot you should stop reading and click the down arrow. BUT-- I'm hoping there's also a 50% chance that you'll keep reading, and find empathy, and maybe rethink about the way you treat people in life, online.
Here's what needs to be addressed: Talking about someone you have lost publicly should not be confused with "a short joke or anecdote". Describing at length something traumatic that has happened to you or someone you care about, in an effort to gain or provide perspective, should never be labeled as "low effort/quality". This is just absurdly insensitive, especially considering the reputation video gaming has for being a method of self isolation, escape, a solace for the depressed. An exception to that stigma? Great! I'm not. Seeking help with mental issues and loss is extremely difficult. Being public about your problems is obviously the first step, and even tougher. It took me 21 years and the death of one of my best friends, AND DESTINY, to even come this far.
And there you go-- If I want to talk about my depression and how Destiny and this subreddit helped me through some of my darkest moments, how is that NOT related to Destiny? We may all play games for different reasons, but we're all here because we're playing THIS ONE. The idea that sharing these kinds of stories has nothing to do with the game is so insulting and baffling, I can't even keep a level head in this argument, even though I know it would help this post do better and hopefully reach/help more people.
These issues I'm talking about ARE gaming. If anything, the way that people use gaming to console themselves and find perspective in tough times only helps to elevate gaming in the arena of human interaction. Whether or not it's something a person is doing subconsciously or finding the strength to do publicly, is a non-fucking-issue. The best games inspire empathy, make a connection...
But apparently, when Destiny does that for another soul in this sub, it doesn't belong here. The deeply personal story of "how" or "why" a game has transcended being a game for someone, no matter how well written or insightful, automatically qualifies it for removal. This is absolutely absurd. It goes against the tone of the best parts of this sub, the types of personalities and connections met and made on here that keep the game fun and important to people. And if you think this sub is average for a AAA title, please by all means try some other ones-- there's no contest. r/destiny was one of the few gaming subs where you could always find both enthusiasm AND heart.
So with all of that said, I can't help but ask: when combing through front page posts about such important topics as "Defender ought to be able to select elevator music that plays inside the bubble", what is it exactly that this sub is supposed to become now? Because I don't even have a titan alt and know that music thing needs to happen. And I also know what days things reset and that Xur hates warlocks (I am one). I know about destinylfg and r/fireteams, I know about heavy ammo and Crota, I know SO much and have been playing since launch. There's a finite value to that sort of stuff.
So, what direction are you trying to take this subreddit in? Because it seems like whatever that is is more important than empathy, despite gaming culture often being stigmatized for emotional coldness and distance. Is it just supposed to become an archival and stat-based FAQ? An impossible wishlist of bullshit (BUNGIE: My NLB should shoot fatebringers in HOW!!!), with a weekly Xur thread and complaints about the Nightfall burn? Why isn't there room for people trying to find solace, reach out, inspire others?
And most importantly, WHY is this topic not being handled more delicately, empathetically by the mods? Why isn't this being opened up to the community at large for discussion? It just seems so absurd that we can debate about whether or not we should treat u/Deej_BNG with respect (we should, a'doy), but downvote someone because we're jealous that they've gotten attention after going through something tragic or trying? So what if they might be looking for attention-- why is the possibility of giving a stranger that attention on false pretext so troubling that you'd rather risk deleting a very legitimate cry for help? It costs you nothing. Scroll on. Let the people who understand address it, or those who feel worse feel less alone. It should be that simple. But if the mods REALLY do think this is that much of an issue and is affecting the quality of the sub, it should AT LEAST be opened up to a sticky thread.
Yeah, I'm melodramatic as fuck, but this IS life and death we're talking about. Or, at the very least, there is the very depressing but real possibility that being heard or ignored at specific times in life can drastically affect someone's story, and how it ends. I've read moving stories on here that have helped me in my own life immeasurably, and the idea of visiting this sub, only to find the same b.s. about drop rates and the Weekly ad nauseum, just depresses the shit out of me. Even more than I already am. Because, yes, that's a big part of why I play Destiny. Depression is something I've been fighting for most of my life, but even though I'm trying medication for the first time, it has taken a much darker turn recently since the death of my friend. So, let me share what I'm afraid I will never be allowed to share with these new rules in effect, MY sad and low effort/quality post:
I lost one of my best friends to Kidney cancer last August 29th. Kevin was 32. Kevin was invincible, a fucking lion of a human being. For as long as i can remember, when he wasn't already holding a controller he had a guitar in hand. He inspired dozens of kids to start bands in our otherwise tiny, hopeless hometown, gave them hope. We quoted the Simpsons to each other endlessly while teenagers, played Mortal Kombat until our knuckles bled (if you've never punched a MK3 cabinet out frustration then this post is DEFINITELY not for you and I commend you for making it this far). When he got his first tattoo, I was so convinced it was fake that when I tried to rub it off and his healing skin started flaking away I said "SEE!", thinking it was just adhesive. For a very long time, he was my only friend. And for an even longer time, he was my best friend. And when he went he left so quickly that I didn't have time to fly home. After a really tough battle, he chose to go off his breathing machine the day I booked my ticket. And I miss Kevin every day.
I picked up my console/Destiny bundle at launch at midnight, with no one to wait in line with. I hooked it up a couple of days before I flew home to spread Kevin's ashes on October 14th. Now, I see Kevin every time I log onto Destiny. I've told few people this, but when I made my guardian upon signing on for the fist time, it was in his image (thank god they included that dumb hipster haircut, it was sort of his trademark before all the meds turned his hair grey). Every time that I forget about picturing my friend while in the creator, I am sure as shit reminded when I come back to the tower. I have so many screenshots of him, framed by the gorgeous skybox overhead...I guess it just helps me to pretend that he's still out there, exploring places with me still tagging along, looking over his shoulder. I tried to post about it before, but refrained. There were already a couple people talking about their own losses, or what comfort they've wrought from the game; their posts and perspective helped me immeasurably and that was enough.
So when I think about how I've played since launch, and how beneficial that's been to me, I'm incredibly thankful to Bungie and this subreddit, the mods.
But when I read this announcement, and realize I would never have read those posts, never would have had the opportunity to eulogize my good friend and guardian as above for the first real time, it bothers me. A lot. I think about gaming, about the hobby of outcasts. About the much maligned and ridiculed basement, a pretty good metaphor for that dark place some of us are trying to peek out of when chatting with our fireteam, posting on here. And this rule, especially the lack of clarity and the way it's being presented, doesn't sit right.
Especially when my extremely low effort post about the similarities of standing in front of a refrigerator with the door open when you know there isn't anything you want to eat, and opening Xur's inventory more than once, was gilded twice last week.
I guess I'm just trying to explain: there is no more fitting place in the WORLD for me to be sharing this story about my friend than with you all, in this subreddit. Of that, I'm pretty confident. I feel that we deserve the right to continue to do so. Hopefully, if nothing else, I'll get a bunch of shitty messages on PSN when people find my handle in my post history, and maybe a couple of other can users close this tab feeling a little less alone. Maybe if you feel similar about the change, me posting about it might help give you the platform/confidence to explain your own opinion.
So, how about it Mods, can we all talk? Can this be opened up for a wider discussion? Or am I EXACTLY what you want less of?
Eyes Up and Looking Towards the future, friend.
TLW: We all know Destiny isn't a perfect game, but can we keep making emotionally imperfect players feel welcome? Please?
Submitted February 06, 2015 at 07:05AM by Little_Tyrant http://ift.tt/1KwzAKL DestinyTheGame
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